The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show

by Empress Tansy

Yellowfang, in her retirement, has decided to start a talk-show about motherhood. She's hired Nightcloud as her crazy, often annoying co-host, and together they interview mothers, fathers, kits, and their sons. Occasionally they review books and movies. Warning: Contains dangerous amounts of hashtags, singing, and attacks. Nightcloud is a very problematic co-host. Enjoy!

37. Why I Love Hawkfrost

Episode 37: "Why I Love Hawkfrost"

"Welcome to The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show!" Yellowfang meowed, holding a mug of hot chocolate in her paws.

Nightcloud, also holding a mug of hot chocolate, was wearing a pink sparkly sweater today. "It's our 37th episode! Who would have ever thought we'd get this far?"

"I sure didn't," Yellowfang said. "But now all you crazy warriors will have something to watch this leaf-bare when the weather gets bad and Bramblestar has to call a snow day."

Her co-host took a sip of her cocoa. "Well, I knew we'd get this far because #nightcloudisawesome"

"#nightcloudisconceited" the gray she-cat muttered, casting a glance at Nightcloud.

The black she-cat leaped to her paws. "Yay!" she cheered. "Yellowfang used her first hashtag!"

"Don't get used to it," Yellowfang growled.

Nightcloud settled back into her chair. "Today's topic is 'Why I Love Hawkfrost'."

"Please welcome Ivypool to the show!" her co-host meowed.

The silvery-white tabby padded onto the stage, bundled up in a blue sweater than matched the color of her eyes. "Hawkykins..." she sighed dreamily.

Nightcloud, a cat who definitely doesn't like Hawkfrost, raised her eyes. "Okay...Ivypool, why do you like him?"

"He noticed me," the white she-cat explained. "He knew I was special. Hawkfrost loves me for me, not for who my sister is."

"I suppose that's a good reason," Yellowfang mused.

Nightcloud heaved a loud sigh. "But he's evil!"

"I don't care," Ivypool mewed dreamily. "Isn't he cute?"

Yellowfang nodded. "He reminds me of Brokenstar when he was a young warrior."

"You two sicken me," Nightcloud hissed. "They're EVIL."

The gray she-cat glared at her co-host. "Well, your son's a traitor!"

"Don't say that about Breezykins!" the WindClan queen spat.

"Breezepelt is horrible!" Ivypool meowed. "He isn't nearly as wonderful as Hawky-love."

Yellowfang nodded again. "She's got a point, there. Hawkfrost didn't betray his Clan!"

Nightcloud, not able to take the attacks on her son any longer, attempted to launch herself at Yellowfang and Ivypool.

Hawkfrost, realizing his girlfriend was in danger, ran out onto the stage. "Ivy! I'll save you!"

"He's my knight in shiny armor!" Ivypool mewed, stepping away from Nightcloud as Hawkfrost jumped into the fight.

Nightcloud, facing Hawkfrost, decided now the perfect time to release a slew of hashtags. "#hawkisterrible #ivyisaloon #breezyissomuchbetterthanhawk"

"DON'T INSULT MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU BADGER!" Hawkfrost screeched, preparing for a full-scale war against the black she-cat.

Tansy, who was sitting in front of the stage with her camera, was too busy writing a love poem to Ashfur to take notice of the fighting cats. It wasn't until Yellowfang turned off the camera and called the KGB to separate Hawkfrost and Nightcloud that Tansy finally realized what was going on.

"Why did Nightcloud insult Hawkfrost?" Tansy wondered, still focused on her poetry. "Ivy and Hawky are in love...isn't love wonderful?"

Yellowfang then hit Tansy on the head with a Christmas tree, knocking her unconscious.