"Imagine your OTP working together to deal with Person B's illness, but person B is not cooperating with Person A.
Frankly, this summer sucked. She use to love summer and now she hated it. She shouldn't hate it, but she does. All those clothes with skinny straps showing her fat disgusting arms and her thighs expanding a million times when she sat down just made her more sick to her stomach. All she wanted to do was go to the bathroom, lock herself in there and throw up. Just the thought of going to the bathroom and throwing up sounded good to her, but she couldn't go. Ryder was babysitting her, again, while her Mother was out with her friends for the night and not coming home until at least midnight.
"Stupid class today," Marley muttered as she wrote down what she was just forced to eat into her food journal. She had to write down her food and calorie in-take for her therapy group sessions. First individual time with a therapist and then group therapy after lunch. Why? Her bulimia that's why. She relapsed back to it a few months ago and somehow this time it was much worse than the first time. She's not sure how, but she had to spend her entire summer taking all these damn therapy sessions. She could try and go to Six Flags next week, but her Mom would only allow her if she improved herself and participated more in the group therapy session.
"But I don't like them Mom." Marley whined. "Why do I have to talk? I already explain everything to Dr. What's Her Name?"
"Her name is Theresa and she's a good therapist who understands your situation and agreed to the payment plan I had with her at that first meeting," Ms. Rose told her daughter. "You are a miracle Marley."
The only reason she talked in the group session is to go to Six Flags next Friday. After that she'd just go back to not speaking in the group sessions, gain a million pounds and then be on her way with life.
Ryder was "babysitting" her. She hated how he was wasting his summer with her all day and all night when he could be out with friends having fun like a teenager is suppose to do. But the boy declined and said he'd have more fun with Marley than being alone or with other people. Now here he was, making sure she wrote down her afternoon snack into her food journal, Crackers. 6 fat-free, low salt Saltines crackers made 118 calories. So far today she's had 293 calories. She was suppose to have 400 calories a day. And this was just her afternoon snack. She still had lunch and dinner to go to.
"You okay?" Ryder asked her.
"No." Marley muttered. "I feel like crap."
"I know, but this is good for you." Ryder comforted her in a hug. "I promise you'll start feeling better soon."
"Whatever." She said. "Ry, do I have anymore headache painkillers?"
"I'll go check."
She knew she didn't. Marley knew they ran out last night, but she had a plan. Ryder's car drive would only be fifteen minutes to the store and fifteen minutes back, plus adding another five minutes while in the store. She'd have a half hour to herself.
Ryder came back into the room. "Nope, no more."
"Can you get me some?" She asked.
"Sure, hold on." Ryder said as he left to get something for Marley. Upon his return Ryder had a pair of white flats in his hand. "Come on I'll help put these on you."
"Why?" She asked him.
"I'm not leaving you home alone to throw up what you just had." He explained to her as he got on the floor to put her shoes on. "Come on."
"Ry I'm too tired to move." She said. "Can't you go without me?"
"I'm sorry I can't Marley," Ryder said. He promised her mother that he'd stay near Marley when he was here with her, no matter what Marley said or did. "Do you still wanna go?"
"I'll deal with the headache." She said with a yawn. "Can I take a nap or is that not allowed?"
"Good to sleep," Ryder smiled.
Marley slept for a good three and a half hours. She had forgotten about her real life and only focus on her dreams. Upon waking up she remembered everything and sighed. "Fucking bulimia." She whispered. Ryder was no where in sight. Marley got up and moved her shaky legs out of the living room and looked in the kitchen. No where. Not in the backyard or the garage or basement either. Maybe Ryder was bored and left. Marley went upstairs and entered the bathroom on the second floor, near her own bedroom.
She shut the door behind her and tied her hair back fully and fell forward on her knees, ready to do what she's been craving for a few hours. Marley open the toilet lid and didn't even need a second to remind herself how to do this. She picked up her two fingers and stuck them back into her throat. Gag. Some food came out. Perfect, she smiled. Again and she gagged a bit before seeing food fall some more. Third time was a charm. She went for round three when the bathroom door slammed opened.
"MARLEY!"
Crap. Ryder.
"Marley! What are you doing?"
"Jesus Ry! I thought you left!"
"What? No I was out front talking to one of your neighbors about mowing his lawn for the summer." Ryder said as he pulled her into a hug. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine!" Marley yelled.
"Why would you do this? You're getting better." Ryder said.
"I'm getting FATTER!" Marley yelled. "I am getting FATTER and FATTER by the calorie and you and my mom and those fucking therapist are just shoving food down my throat! Damn it Ryder! I can feed myself you know!"
"Marley we're only looking at what's best for you." He told her. "Honestly."
"YOU ARE SHOVING FOOD DOWN MY THROAT!" Marley screamed. "GET OUT!"
"We're in the bathroom," Ryder smoothly told her. "Come on and let's get you downstairs to sleep on the couch for a little while, okay?"
"I DON'T WANT TO EAT ANYMORE!" Marley screamed in his face. "I DON'T WANT TO EAT! GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Ryder was told that sometimes mood swings was a sign of eating disorders, so this wasn't something exactly new to him. But he's never seen Marley this angry before, so it scared him a little bit. Nonetheless Marley followed him after he flushed the toilet and laid back on the couch. Ryder turned up the fan some more and put a blanket on her and telling her to go to sleep. Marley rolled her eyes and muttered, "I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry."
A few hours later Ryder made Pregresso soup for Marley, as well as some crackers with thin slices of cheese on them. Ryder made his way over to Marley, who still slept, with the tray in his hands. "Marley," He called out. He put the tray on the TV dinner stand tray he had set up minutes ago. He shook Marley gently and saw her blue eyes opening. "Time for dinner."
"No hungry." Marley muttered. "Not hungry."
"Marley you have to eat." Ryder said firmly. "You threw up a few hours ago and now you have to eat."
"Not hungry." She said in a monotone voice. "Not hungry."
"Marley you have to eat. Please." Ryder said. "I know this is hard for you, but you have to eat. If you eat than you can go to Six Flags and if you eat you will get better."
"No!" Marley screamed, her mood swings kicking in. "I AM NOT HUNGRY!"
"Marley, please." Ryder said.
"NO!" She yelled. "I AM NOT HUNGRY!"
"Marley—" Ryder began to say, but Marley slapped him across the face.
"I AM NOT HUNGRY!" She yelled. Marley pushed over the TV tray stand, knocking the soup and crackers over as well as the glass of water and stood up and left the living room. "GOD DAMN IT!"
Ryder stood up and followed Marley out of the living room. She started to go upstairs. If she went into the bathroom, Ryder would force himself in there. Marley entered the bathroom down the hall and shut the door. Ryder quickened his pace to there and knocked on the door.
"Wait a minute!" Marley yelled.
"Marls, don't do it." He said.
"Shut up!" She screamed.
"Marley, don't." He said again. He leaned his head against the door and waited to hear a gag. A second later Marley opened the door, shoved Ryder, and went to her room. "Marley."
"I hate you all! I hate you! I've gained a disgusting ten pounds! I'm fucking fat!" Marley screamed as she slammed the door to her bedroom. Ryder stood outside the door and listening to her inside. She sounded like she was sobbing. That broke his head.
Ryder opened the door and walked in. Marley was laying on her bed, her back facing Ryder, sobbing in her own tears. Ryder walked over to her bed and sat on the yellow bed cover. "Marley," He said softly. Marley sobbed harder. Ryder kicked his shoes off and laid down so that his front side was against her back. His head was propped up on his elbow. "Talk to me. Please? What's wrong?"
Marley just sobbed harder. She didn't know why she was this upset. But she was. "I..hate being fat."
"You are not fat," Ryder told her. "You are a beautiful girl, but people only care about the person you are. How you treat them."
"Not when I read magazines..." She muttered.
"Marley those women are photo shopped to look beautiful. They're just edited to make it look like their more beautiful, but they're really not that thin." He said calmly to her.
"You have a picture of Scarlett Johansson on your wall in your room," Marley mindlessly told him. That was true, he had a few posters in his room of celebrity women.
"She's a good actress. Right next to that poster of James Franco."
"You have a picture of Jessica Alba on your wall in your room too," Marley said.
"Because she's also a good actress. She's in between The Beatles poster and a Gavin DeGraw poster." Ryder said. "Marley I love them because they're good actresses, not because of their looks."
"You said Scarlett was beautiful."
"She is, but you're more beautiful." He said.
"Stop lying."
"I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"No. Scarlett has to wear make-up to look beautiful. There have been times that you haven't worn anything on your face and I still thought you were beautiful You aren't wearing anything now and you're still a beautiful girl."
"But I'm still fat." Marley muttered.
Ryder sighed. "Marley, how many times will I have to tell you that you are beautiful until you believe me?"
Marley kept quiet until a minute later when she began sobbing again. How was he so nice to her now, especially since she's had bad mood swings all day and she's physically hurt him? "I'm a wreck." Her voice cracked.
Ryder leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You're not a wreck. You're amazing. I know this is a struggle but everyone who loves and cares about you is helping you and we are not going to give up. We are going to help you."
"What if...happens... again?" Marley muttered.
"Then we'll do it all over again. You and me against the world." Ryder said. "I promise. I'm here for you. Always."
She nodded against him, but was still upset. This was more than just an illness. This was a battle, her battle. Maybe one of the biggest battles she'll ever face, even more than music competitions. But at least Ryder was here with her and she felt it inside of her heart that Ryder would never give up on her.
Ever.