Author's Note:I know it's been over two years since I've last updated, and I cannot express how sorry I am for that. Real Life just kept biting me again and again, however, and would not let go. Then came the fact that I have gotten to a point in the game that I find terribly boring, and my muses all but abandoned me with it until very recently. This chapter is pretty short, but I've come to the conclusion that this might work out better if I chop the sequence up into short parts, rather than killing myself by writing a thirty page epic of the gang dicking around across Spira as they search for the rest of the Celestial Objects. Anyway, I hope you will all forgive me for taking so long, and enjoy the new chapter.

Oh, and happy birthday, John.

Chapter 37: Blackwater

Once the group finished their business in the ruins of Baaj, they made their way back to the Airship and set course for Besaid. "Since it's going to take a while to get to Besaid, I'd really like to discuss the map and the discs...and what they might lead to," Charlie requested, looking as if she might go berserk if they said no.

A long silence ensued, until Yuna finally replied, "All right, tell us about them."

Eagerly, Charlie pulled out the map and the completed Sun disc, and held them both out for the party's inspection. "Okay, I'm sure I've said it before, but the map is one of Spira, and has symbols I recognize from my world written on it. Judging by several of the locations marked on it, I believe they lead to these." She jiggled the Sun disc slightly. "Ever since I first arrived here, I've been finding pieces of them on my own, but whenever you find both parts of a set and combine them, their marks on the map vanish, and reappear in a new spot."

"What's that got to do with the Celestial Weapons?" Wakka interrupted, confused.

"What I'm thinking is that once both pieces of a particular disc are combined, the area the symbol reappears in corresponds to the weapon's actual location." Charlie put the Sun disc away and pointed at the symbol on the map. "If I'm right, this is where the 'Sun' weapon would be…though since I can't read the writing, and haven't seen another map of Spira since I got here, I have no actual idea where it is."

Rikku peered at the map for a moment, and then said, "Looks like it's in the northern Calm Lands, but what about this one in Macalania?" She poked at a five-pointed star on another part of the parchment. "It's just a star, right?"

"I'm not sure, actually. "I think it might have something to do with the mirror that came with the map, though. Maybe it's another key to unlocking the weapon? I mean, think about that Nirvana staff the old man gave Yuna; it looked like a dusty old relic, but maybe, once we have all the pieces, it will change into something stronger."

"That is a possibility," Lulu stated, peering down at the map with more interest than she previously had shown. "And these markings appear to be close enough to where we intend to go that it shouldn't slow us down much to search for them."

Charlie nodded, and then looked up at Auron, who had watched them converse, but hadn't spoken. His expression was closed and unreadable, but he finally said, "Very well. There is one other place we should go, then." He took the map from Charlie and studied it silently, before pointing at a spot far to the east of the mainland. "Here. It will be our last test before we face Sin. If we cannot face what lies in there, then we have little chance of beating Sin."

…

Eventually, the airship reached Besaid, and the group departed on the beach, as it was the only place on the island with enough open space for them to disembark safely. The fiends on the road weren't much of a concern, as everyone was much stronger than when they were last on the island, so the trek was relatively boring, at least in Charlie's eyes. After a few minutes of hiking, the seven of them made it to the monument by the cliff, and standing near it was Luzzu, who seemed to be watching the surrounding area like a hawk. Charlene felt a sharp stab of guilt surge through her, as she remembered Gatta's death at Mushroom Rock, but she forced herself to smile as she waved at Luzzu and called, "Hey! Why are you all the way out here?"

"Watching for fiends!" the redhead seriously replied. "We Crusaders must protect the village. Even if we cannot defeat Sin, we do what we can."

"We'll beat it, Luzzu," Charlie promised fervently. "We've got a plan that doesn't involve anymore needless death, but we'll need everyone's help."

When the Crusader looked intrigued, she quickly explained the plan, and then waited to see his reaction. He looked startled at first, and then afraid, and Charlie felt the guilt wash over her again. Before she could say anything, however, Luzzu smiled slightly, and then pointed at the monument. "I do not know if your plan will work, but you should pray before you go. All who leave the island pray for safe passage over there." He paused, blinking back what looked suspiciously like tears, and then added, "Gatta always refused, though."

Charlene smiled weakly, as the amusement at the idea of praying to the very being that she was going to help stop. Luzzu returned the smile, and started to turn his attention back to the sea beyond the cliffs, when Charlie blurted, "Wait!"

The Crusader caught the note of desperation in her voice and quickly turned back, concern etched in his features. "What is it? What's wrong?"

The rest of the group stared at Charlie, as well, but she ignored them, wanting to speak, quickly, before she lost her resolve. "It's about Gatta…" she began, wincing when she saw the raw grief well up in his gaze. He did not reply, however, so she continued to speak. "Back during the operation…we met him at the gate to the command center. He was really unhappy about being there, and I heard him muttering something about going to the frontlines, even though he was told not to." She paused, closed her eyes, inhaled sharply, and then added, "I meant to say something to someone in charge so that they could stop him, but there wasn't much time, so it's my fault. Gatta's death is my fault. Luzzu…I'm sorry."

Silence ensued, broken only by the sound of the wind and the waves far below. Charlene did not open her eyes, but kept them closed, standing quietly and waiting for Luzzu's reaction. She fully expected him to hit her, the way Wakka had struck him those long months ago. What she did not expect, however, was for him to hug her tightly: not in a romantic embrace, but one between friends sharing pain. Her eyes flew open and she stared up at him in shock, but Luzzu just smiled sadly and replied, "Charlie…what happened to Gatta is not your fault. It was not anyone's fault…I know that now."

Charlene sobbed once, but then managed to wrestle the pain back under a calm façade. "It still hurts, though," she murmured.

"I know." Luzzu let her go then, and bowed. "Thank you, Charlie…and good luck."

Charlie then turned back to her friends, who all stared at her with varying degrees of worry. "Are you okay?" Yuna asked.

"Never better!" the older girl cheerfully replied, a false smile plastered on her face. "Now let's go; I know the fayth isn't going to get up and walk off, but that doesn't mean we can just stand around."

…

The party finally made it to the village, where, despite all the rumors spread by Yevon, the inhabitants greeted Yuna, Wakka, and Lulu warmly. It did not take long for everyone to spread the word about the plan, but the villagers all still wanted a chance to talk to "their" summoner and guardians. Charlie knew they wouldn't want to speak with her, however, so she hung out near the Crusaders' Lodge, out of the way of everyone else. Kimahri stood there, too, but did not say anything when the younger guardian joined him. Instead, he kept his golden eyes trained on Yuna, watchful for any kind of trouble. The Ronso was not completely ignoring her, however, as he eventually shot her a sidelong glance and said, "Charlie hurt."

"What?"

Kimahri turned and fully looked at her. "Charlie hurt inside. Hurts, but hides behind smile."

Charlie winced. "Is it that obvious?"

Before the Ronso could answer, a small cat emerged from the Lodge, spotted Kimahri, and raced toward him, meowing loudly. Once it reached him, it began rubbing against his ankles and purring loudly. Charlie giggled at the little cat's antics, and said, "Friend of yours, Kimahri?"

The Ronso let out a long-suffering sigh, but knelt down to scoop up the cat, which quickly climbed up onto his shoulder and resumed its loud purring. "Looks like she's got a crush on you, big guy," the younger guardian chuckled.

Kimahri said nothing, but then, he did not need to, as Yuna finished talking to the villagers and approached the two guardians. "I am ready now," she told them both, before heading toward the temple.

…

Besaid Temple had not changed at all since the last time they were there. The Trial was the same as before, and therefore, did not take as long to complete. The beast lurking in the back of Charlene's mind hated being in the temple, but kept its opinion to itself, for once. "Thank God…" Charlie thought, wincing slightly at the small headache forming behind her eyes.

Once the group made it to the end of the Cloister of Trials, instead of waiting outside for Yuna as they did before, they followed her inside, where the fayth lay. The statue appeared to be a woman with Valefor's wings sprouting from her back, and when Yuna called out to it, a brief flash of the aeon appeared, and then changed into a young girl of about fourteen dressed in purple and yellow. "Sin is cursed." Valefor said, her soft voice identifying herself to Charlie as the mystery voice from the first time she entered the Cloister. "Sin prays. It curses its form. It prays for dissolution. Sin sees dreams of its own destruction. Sin is looking at us. We live in a fading echo of time left us by the destroyer. Free him from Yu Yevon. Free him-the Fayth that has become Sin."

The fayth then looked at Charlie, her gaze sharp and hard, but said nothing…at least, not aloud. ::You are losing, Charlie. Day by day, that Shadow grows stronger and you grow weaker.::

Charlie stared back at Valefor, her expression carefully blank, and nodded, but did not reply.

…

After visiting with Valefor, the seven of them went back to the Airship, and headed northward, toward Kilika. Charlie spent most of that time training, sparring with whoever would work with her. Mostly, it was either Auron or Kimahri she fought with, though there were a few Al Bhed who sometimes joined in. Charlie did not care who her partner was, as long as she was too exhausted to dream once she finally fell asleep. She did not like to sleep anymore. The shadow within her lurked there and inevitably turned her dreams into nightmares that left her sweating and shaking with fear. ::It would all stop if you would just give in to me…:: it whispered, its voice an icy caress that sent chills down her spine as she strode down the corridor back to her quarters. ::We could kill everyone on this ship before they could put up a defense, and then we could go be with our master… All you have to do is stop fighting…::

"No!" Charlie growled to herself. "They are my friends, and I won't let you have them!"

"Charlie," a soft voice said, startling her.

She whipped around then, one hand immediately reaching for her practice blade. Then she realized it was Rin standing there with a satchel slung over one shoulder, and she quickly forced herself to relax. "Sorry about that…I'm a little wound up," she sheepishly replied.

"I see…" Rin looked her over, not in a sexual way, but in a more clinical approach. "You are wearing yourself out," he stated simply, his gaze finally returning to her face.

"Yeah, well we do have a really huge fight ahead of us," Charlie answered, averting her gaze. "It's enough to make anyone nervous, don't you think?"

The Al Bhed stared at her in silence for a long moment, and then said, "I think it is more than that. You appear as though you have not slept in days. None of the others seem to have that problem, so what is it that bothers you so?"

Charlie opened her mouth to blurt out the true source of her problems, but the darkness within quickly moved to stifle her speech. She stood there, gaping like a fish, until she finally blurted, "Nightmares. I've been having them for so long now I barely remember what a good night's sleep feels like. I've tried exhausting myself so that I don't dream, but it only works for a few hours, and then it starts up again."

Rin looked at her closely, and said, "I may have something that can help you, but it is only on a temporary basis." He reached into his satchel, and pulled out a small bottle made of clear, dark blue glass, and held it out to her. "This is Pmylgfydan…a very potent sedative. Take one drop before you go to bed, and it should let you sleep without dreams the entire time."

Charlene took the bottle and looked at Rin as though she might kiss him, but the entrepreneur quickly held up a cautionary finger. "Remember, just one drop. It is made with dust from the winds in the Farplane, and if you take too much, it could send you into a coma, or even kill you. There should be enough to help you recover your lost sleep, Charlie, but I highly suggest you learn the source of your nightmares and deal with it."

She nodded in agreement and smiled brightly, but retreated back to her quarters, locked herself inside, and set the bottle down on the nearby end table, staring at it for a long time and thinking. Should she take it? Should she go find Rin and tell him it was a terrible mistake? The shadow slithered around in the back of her mind, laughing at her, and hissed, ::Taking drugs now, are we? You are so terribly pathetic…::

Something in the way the creature spoke, however, caught Charlie's attention. It sounded almost…afraid? That notion steeled her resolve, and she quickly opened the bottle and peered inside. Pmylgfydan was thick and black, and looked like congealed ink. Curious, Charlene took an experimental sniff, and quickly wrinkled her nose. "Ugh…this stuff smells like flowers and death," she groaned, shaking her head as if it to clear it.

Determined to move forward with the plan to get her demon to shut up, she quickly put a drop of the strange substance on her tongue, and nearly choked at the taste. It tasted like the smell of hyacinth, but with undertones of blood and something cloyingly sweet that she could not readily identify. The flavor lingered unpleasantly, and even seemed to fill Charlie's nose as she stood up and looked around, eager to find something to get rid of the taste. The room drifted away, however, appearing as though she was looking at it through a window, and the sound of a strong gust of wind filled her ears as she grew dizzy. "Wow…I didn't think this stuff took effect so quickly…" Charlie mumbled to herself, wobbling dangerously as she looked around. "I think I'd better…"

She did not finish her sentence, however, as darkness rose up around her and she collapsed to the floor beside the bed in a graceless heap.