Measure After Measure
When at last Cassandra reappeared out on the back deck, four pairs of worried eyes landed on her, searching for any clues as to how her chat with Sam had gone. Given that she'd already been red eyed and tear stained, it was hard to judge whether she looked worse now than she had before.
"Cassie?" Janet asked quietly, hoping things had gone well.
"It's okay," the teen said, offering the group a genuine smile. She didn't miss how much they all seemed to relax at that.
Teal'c spoke for all of them. "We are pleased to hear that, Cassandra Fraiser."
"Sam told me everything."
The adults looked at one another, trying to decide on the best approach to ascertain how much 'everything' actually meant. There was a whole lot to the story, after all, and it would have been easy for Sam to relate only a fraction of it to Cassie, all the while claiming that her adopted niece was getting the full version of events.
Seeing that they weren't quite sure whether or not they should believe her, Cassandra added, "She told me about the guys in the parking lot and the sleazy doctors who gave her a ton of shots and all the tests they ran on her, trying to figure out what Jolinar did to her brain… Sam told me as much as she remembers."
Cassie's summary seemed to hit on all the highlights that Sam had shared with them, so although the adults still weren't convinced Sam had shared everything with her, they believed that the teen had heard a watered down version of the story from start to finish. As they'd all anticipated, Cassie was dealing with the news rather well; telling her had been the right thing to do after all.
Jack reached out, grasping her hand and pulling her down on the bench beside him. Wrapping his good arm around her, he hugged her tight, knowing she must have been upset by what her favorite aunt had been through. "How are you holding up, kiddo?" he asked quietly.
"I'm fine, just worried about Sam," she assured even as she snuggled into him. "That's a whole lot of bad stuff for one person to deal with all on their own."
"She's not dealing with it on her own," Daniel reminded. "She knows she can talk to us if she needs to, and so can you."
"I know." Even though her words were muffled against Jack's chest, the four adults could all hear the smile in her voice.
"Where is Major Carter now?" Teal'c asked. He'd been expecting the pair to come out together and Sam's continued absence gave him a bad feeling deep in his gut. If anything, he would have expected Sam to stay close to Cassie and spend the rest of the night trying to make her outburst up to the teen.
"Inside. She said she wanted to clean up the glass she broke before coming back out."
That solved the mystery of what had suffered an untimely demise at the hands of Angry Sam earlier in the evening.
"I never did like those glasses," Jack quipped, making Cassie giggle.
It sounded reasonable enough, but Teal'c's instincts were still insisting that there was something else going on with their resident astrophysicist. He didn't want to cause his friends any additional worry if he turned out to be wrong, however, so he kept his concerns to himself. If Sam didn't join them in the next few minutes, he would head inside and check on her…
"I'll…" Janet began, making to get out of her seat.
Apparently he wasn't the only one with concerns.
"I will go," Teal'c cut her off, grateful for the opportunity to check on his teammate. He got to his feet and came around the picnic table to squeeze Cassandra's shoulder before making his way inside. Not wanting to alert Sam to his presence too soon, he took care to be silent as he entered the house; something was up with her, and the less warning she had that he was on to her, the more likely he'd be to get a straight answer.
Jack, Daniel and Janet all watched him go, a little surprised by his behavior. Yes, he could be overprotective, but Teal'c wasn't nearly as prone to overt hovering as Jack and Daniel were. It was clear to all of them that something wasn't sitting right with the big Jaffa, but they trusted him to handle the situation, whatever it turned out to be. Shaking off their lingering concern, the trio turned their attention back to the teenage girl who never failed to amaze them with the maturity she demonstrated when push came to shove.
"Are you sure you're okay, honey?" Janet asked quietly. She tipped her head to one side, trying to catch a peek of her daughter's face beneath the cascade of hair blocking her view, but it didn't do much good. Cassandra was still pressed tight against Jack's chest, apparently trying to make up for the fact that he was giving her a one-armed hug by becoming an extra appendage.
"Yeah," she said. "I don't like what happened to Sam, and I don't like that it could happen to me one day, but still, I'm glad she told me."
Cassie was oblivious to the way three sets of eyes darted uncomfortably around the backyard at her words. All three adults hated adding that concern to the nice, normal teenaged things that weighed on her mind, but given the NID's increasingly devious behavior and the rather spectacular security breech that had allowed at least one unauthorized person to learn about Sam's experience with Jolinar, they couldn't, in good conscience, not warn Cassandra of the potential threat to her safety.
"Is everything okay between you and Sam now?" Daniel hoped the answer was 'yes'; he didn't think Sam was up to dealing with hard feelings right now, especially not from Cassandra.
"Yep. You were right, she isn't mad at me anymore."
"I don't think she ever was, Cass," Jack said, giving her a quick squeeze. "Sam was just scared of how you might react when she told you how her arms got so marked up. Sometimes being afraid and being angry can seem a lot alike." No one knew that better than he did.
The flood of questions seemed to be over, and Cassandra was glad. But all three adults were still worried about Sam, especially since she hadn't joined them outside, and Cassandra tried to put their minds at ease.
"She promised me she didn't have another flashback," she murmured, confident her voice would carry easily enough through the still of the early evening. "That's a good sign, right?"
Janet smiled warmly at her daughter. "That's a very good sign."
They already knew that – it had been the first thing out of Daniel's mouth after he'd sent Cassandra inside for a heart-to-heart with Sam – but it still felt good to hear it. It had been days since her last flashback, and they were all hopeful that Sam wouldn't experience any more. Even without flashbacks, their resident astrophysicist had plenty to deal with at the moment.
Satisfied that she'd done all she could to put their minds at ease, Cassandra lapsed into silence. Although the day had taken a few unexpected turns, on the whole, she felt good about how things had gone. Now, with the questions that had been plaguing her all week answered and her relationships with her adopted family as strong as ever, she was content to stay curled up against Jack while 'grown-up talk' – and yes, Jack did still call it that, just to annoy her – flowed around her.
"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Daniel double-checked, leaning around Jack to get a better look at her.
On second thought, maybe she wasn't quite ready to surrender the floor to 'grown-up talk' just yet.
With a mischievous grin, the teen looked up at him and asked, "How about what you guys did to scare off Dominic?"
Jack and Daniel replied at the same time, smug smirks back in place once more.
"No."
oOoOoOoOoOo
"Are you well, Major Carter?" Teal'c asked quietly. Considering how hard it was to miss her watery red eyes and the tears running down her cheeks, it seemed like a ridiculous question, but he wasn't sure how else he could broach the subject.
Sam jumped at his sudden appearance in the bathroom doorway and hastily wiped at her eyes, trying in vain to get rid of the evidence that she'd been crying.
"I'm fine," she said. The still unshed tears choking her voice said otherwise, but she hoped he wouldn't call her on it.
"You are not," he refuted, calmly clasping his hands behind his back.
Apparently, this was not the day for having her hopes realized.
"I do not understand why you continually insist that you are 'fine' when it is obvious to those around you that you are not. It is a trait that is common in Jaffa and Tau'ri alike, however I have never before encountered a warrior as determined to always be 'fine' as you are, Major Carter."
Although she wasn't entirely sure it was intended as one, Sam decided to take that as a compliment. "I know, but this time I am…"
"You are not," he repeated. After all, she wasn't the only one who could be stubborn and he truly believed she needed to hear what he had to say.
"I admit, talking with Cassandra brought up all the bad memories again, but I'm okay… And please, don't say 'you are not'. I am doing better."
"You are," he agreed. His eyes danced with amusement when it became clear Sam was waiting for the 'not' to be tacked on to the end of the sentence, but it never came. Instead, he said, "In recent days, you have become more willing to discuss your fears in front of your friends, but you continue to hide many of your other feelings from us. You seem to have forgotten that no matter what you reveal to us, our opinions of you will remain unchanged."
"I know. It's not about any of you," Sam sighed. Drumming her fingers idly on the bathroom counter, she added, "It's me; I can't keep falling apart for my own sake."
"Rarely in the last few days have I left your side, Major Carter. I have yet to witness you fall apart," Teal'c said calmly, his voice even. "Perhaps that is the problem."
Sam stared at him in silence for a few moments, as though she was considering his words. He was relieved when it seemed he had finally gotten through to her, but that relief turned out to be short-lived.
"Do you know what Cassie said when I told her? When I told her why I told her?" Sam demanded suddenly, taking the conversation in a radical new direction. "She said 'okay'. That was it, just 'okay.' She wasn't even surprised, because she already knows the NID treats aliens like crap, so why wouldn't other people do the same?"
"Major Carter…"
"Those were her exact words; people do 'awful things to aliens'," she continued, ignoring him. Her drumming fingers clenched into a fist and she started bouncing it on the countertop in agitation.
"Cassandra Fraiser speaks the truth," Teal'c pointed out. His own run-ins with the NID over the years were testament to that.
"But I'm not an alien!" Sam said, her voice getting progressively louder. "I'm human! I was born on the same planet as the people who work for the NID, and Adrian Conrad and everyone he hired to kidnap and experiment on me! I'm human!" she repeated.
Teal'c regarded her in silence, affording her the opportunity to reign in her emotions before he responded to her outburst. A handful of deep breaths seemed to do the trick, easing some of her agitation. When she seemed more in control, he said, "In my experience, there are people of all races who have no qualms about treating those of their own kind poorly. Your experiences at the hands of Adrian Conrad in no way reflect how human you are; they reflect only on him."
"You're wrong, Teal'c." she argued, shaking her head for emphasis. "I'm not human anymore, not really. I haven't been since Jolinar crawled inside my head, and the more people that find out about her, the more people there are that see me as just a thing that they can do with as they please."
"To those that matter, you remain as human as ever," Teal'c insisted. He was the very model of patience, determined to help her address this concern that obviously weighed heavily on her mind.
"'Those that matter' would never dream of experimenting on me!" Sam spat. "They're not the ones I worry about."
"Those that matter will never allow you to be treated as merely an object of curiosity," he swore. "And those who attempt to treat you in such a manner will suffer severe consequences."
"When you can find them." She didn't mean to sound so bitter – she knew it was killing her teammates, not being able to give her the security of seeing Conrad and his cronies behind bars – but she couldn't help it. It was really eating at her, knowing they were all walking free and able to come after her again, if they chose to.
"Indeed." There was no point in lying to her, not when she already knew the truth anyway.
"Doesn't it bother you?" Sam asked quietly, studying him carefully. "Knowing that every time you set foot off base, the NID or somebody else could be following you, waiting for a chance to make you disappear so they can perform their experiments and study you until they get all the answers that have eluded them so far?"
"It does," Teal'c confessed. After all, how could he urge her to be honest with him and then lie to her in the next breath? "However, should such a situation ever arise, I know that there is nowhere my friends would not search in order to find me. That certainty is enough to set my mind at ease."
"Yeah." Her teammates had proven time and again how far they would go for her. It was comforting, knowing that she had not one but three people in her life that would do anything for her, even if it did scare her a little sometimes.
Sam sighed, wiping a hand over her eyes again. "Sorry. I guess what Cassie said got to me more than I thought."
That much was obvious and suddenly Teal'c regretted not considering much sooner how her most recent abduction might have affected her perceptions of herself. Although this was the first time Sam had mentioned it, he was confident that these doubts had been in the back of her mind for days – maybe longer – otherwise Cassandra's words wouldn't have had such an impact on her.
So far she wasn't making it easy, but Teal'c was determined to get through to Sam, and so he refused to let the matter drop, even though she seemed prepared to.
"It is not your planet of birth, nor the composition of your body that determines your humanity, Major Carter; it is what is in your heart. For that reason, you must never be ashamed to show those closest to you what you are feeling."
Sam felt her eyes filling with a new batch of tears, but rather than fighting to hold them back, she allowed them to fall. He would never know how much those words meant to her because she'd never have the words to tell him. Caught up in relief at having gotten her insecurities off her chest and gratitude for Teal'c's ability to always say the right thing, she was surprised when he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder; she hadn't even noticed him closing the distance between them.
But her surprise was nothing compared to Teal'c's when a split second later, a teary astrophysicist wrapped her arms around him. Despite his shock – this was completely new territory for their friendship – he took her unexpected actions in stride and hugged her back, albeit somewhat tentatively. He knew how badly she must have needed the emotional release if she was doing this now, with him rather than waiting until she was alone with Daniel or, even more likely, at home by herself.
Besides, he'd encouraged her to stop hiding her feelings away; what kind of friend would he be if he turned and walked away now?
oOoOoOoOoOo
When Jack heard the sliding door open, he tightened his arm around Cassandra, silently instructing her to stay right where she was. Turning his head allowed him to get a good look at his 2IC and he was glad he'd kept the teen from making a beeline for her favorite aunt. Sam had obviously been crying – probably for a while, if the redness around her eyes was anything to judge by – and sicing a concerned Cassie on her right at this moment probably wasn't the best idea.
Aware of the worried looks that landed on her as soon as she stepped outside, Sam offered the group a tight smile, trying to reassure them that everything was all right. Teal'c's hand on her lower back propelled her towards the picnic table, guiding her around it. Giving her no choice in the matter, his other hand came to rest on her shoulder and pressed down slightly. The pressure on her shoulder eased up as she stepped over the bench, and then resumed, parking her in the seat between Janet and Daniel. Apparently satisfied that Sam was right where she needed to be, Teal'c moved around the table once again and took a seat next to Jack and Cassie.
"How are you doing, Sam?" Janet asked quietly, turning in her seat so she could study her friend.
Even in the dim light spilling from the house, it was obvious that she was emotionally wrung out. Whatever had happened inside, first with Cassie and then with Teal'c, it seemed that Sam had finally given up completely on trying to convince everyone – herself included – that she was fine.
"Better," she said. Her hoarse voice confirmed that she hadn't been 'better' up until just a little while ago, but by silent agreement, no one commented on it.
Daniel was glad Sam was no longer trying to maintain the illusion that everything was hunky dory, but he hated seeing her so upset. Taking a chance, he slowly slid his arm around his teammate, giving her plenty of opportunity to shrug him off if she chose to. He was pleasantly surprised when Sam leaned into him and let him pull her against his side; after the day she'd had, apparently she was willing to allow herself the luxury of accepting a little comfort.
Sam had just gotten comfortable when something nudged her knee underneath the table. She shifted slightly, moving away from the disturbance, but it found her knee again. Looking up, she discovered Jack watching her carefully, one eyebrow creeping up his forehead as something bumped into her knee for the third time. Finally understanding, Sam kept her leg in place, letting Jack's knee rest against hers. It wasn't much, but all the same, the simple gesture was reassuring and she appreciated it.
"Are you still awake, Cassandra Fraiser?" Teal'c asked quietly. He bent his head to try and get a peek at the teen, but she had more or less burrowed into Jack's embrace, hiding her whole face from view.
"Mmm."
When Cassie was reduced to monosyllables, it was a sure sign that she was either fuming about something or close to falling asleep. Given the circumstances, Janet was confident that in this instance, it was the second option and Cassandra had long ago grown to be too big to be carried to bed, and too much of a stereotypical teenager to be woken up unless absolutely necessary. Smiling affectionately at her daughter, she said, "We should probably head out soon."
They were all a little surprised when sounds of protest came not from Cassandra's direction, but from Sam's.
"Not yet," she requested quietly. She didn't bother raising her head from where it had fallen on Daniel's shoulder, content to let his warmth leech into her and chase away the cool night air.
It was a huge relief to step outside and see that there were no hard feelings stemming from her outburst earlier in the day. No one was angry with her for upsetting Cassandra, no one was sick and tired of dealing with her and her mood swings; yes, her friends were worried about her, but they were all still willing to do whatever they could to help her. Sam might not always feel like she deserved the people seated around her, but there was never a time when she didn't appreciate their unwavering support.
Squeezing her friend's arm, Janet agreed, "Not yet."
Teal'c had taken great care to ensure that Sam was surrounded by the group, and though Janet didn't know the reasoning behind his decision, it was obvious that he'd made the right call. Sam was slowly but surely relaxing, taking comfort from their company. In light of that, Janet would stay as long as Sam wanted her too, even if it meant she would have to deal with a grouchy, half-awake teenager on the drive home.
"Did you guys hear what happened to SG-11 on Planet Typhoid?" Jack asked suddenly, seizing on the first thing he could think of that would lighten the somber atmosphere slowly descending over the group.
Earlier in the week, SG-11 had stumbled across a village experiencing an outbreak of something similar to typhoid. A round-the-clock effort on the part of the infirmary staff had determined an effective course of treatment for the sick, and an inoculation program had been launched, vaccinating the unaffected members of the population in order to curb future outbreaks. It felt like forever ago that they had first learned of the situation, but in reality, it had only been a few days.
If this hadn't been the longest week in history, Sam mused, it must have been a close second.
Judging by the smirk on Janet's face, Sam decided that she'd already heard the tale. Craning her neck, she managed to sneak a peek at the blank look on Daniel's face and the tilt of Teal'c's head that usually indicated he was interested. It was nice to know that the rest of her team was as in the dark as she was. Sometimes the most frustrating part about being on medical stand down was being out of the loop about the goings on at the SGC and having to play catch up.
Cassandra mustered enough energy to ask, "Is that the team you had to work overnight for, mom?"
"That would be the one," Jack confirmed on Janet's behalf. "Anyway, it seems the locals were so grateful to Mason and his team for helping out with the outbreak that their leaders tried to send the whole team home with wives."
Sam couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Not again."
Occasionally 'gift marriages' worked out well – Daniel had ended up loving Sha're with all his heart – but the idea of it really didn't sit well with Sam. As much respect as she had for the cultures they encountered off-world, there were certain aspects of some cultures that she would never really get used to.
"Oh, it gets better," Janet assured, grinning widely.
"They wanted to give them wives, plural. They wouldn't take no for an answer, so Mason dialed home and asked Hammond for permission to bring home forty-odd women between them."
The same grin that most of the men at the SGC wore when discussing proposals for polygamous marriages to the most beautiful women a world had to offer slid across Jack's face as he spoke. Deciding that it was completely unacceptable that he be so happy when thinking about such a terrible thing, Sam pulled her knee back from his and gave him a decent kick in the shin.
"Ow!"
"You deserved it, sir," Janet assured, knowing exactly what had transpired.
"Did not," Jack protested. Even as he said it, he let Sam settle her knee against his again; it was as close as he'd ever come to conceding that maybe he had deserved it, at least a little.
"Back to the story… Please tell me General Hammond said 'no'," Cassie piped up, proving that she was still awake enough to follow the thread of the conversation.
"He did," Janet picked up the story, her grin now stretching from ear to ear. "But the local leaders assumed he was jealous, so they offered to throw in an extra two dozen wives, just for him... I thought Walter was going to rupture something, he was trying so hard not to laugh."
Sam could picture the look on the general's face as he stood in the control room, surrounded by people under his command and trying to find a diplomatic way to spare himself the trouble of interplanetary divorce proceedings. In spite of herself, she started to giggle.
It was contagious. Cassie joined in, then Janet and soon all five humans were laughing while Teal'c looked on with a hint of a smile. It was hard to say how much of their laughter was the result of SG-11's mission and how much was simply stress relief, but in the end, it didn't really matter. After the last few days, it felt good to finally have something to laugh about.