Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, Leonardo Dicaprio, or scabies.
Genre: Humor
Characters: Light
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Contrary to popular belief, I am actually aware of my distinctly homosexual tendencies. I may be prissy, I may be a queen, and girls may occasionally look at my hair with jealousy, but I am, in fact, metrosexual. I am a straight boy who likes to look nice.
Although I do understand where people are getting the idea that I'm not.
Exhibit one: I dye my hair. Don't tell anyone, or I'll write your name down and make specifications for it to be very unpleasant and involve scabies.
Exhibit two: I'm very, very pretty. I was once mistaken for a girl. Neither of us was very happy when he kissed me.
Exhibit three: I didn't protest enough when L handcuffed himself to me. One would think that a straight guy would freak out a little bit more in that situation. I was just too tired from being confined to put up a fight.
Exhibit four: I hate my girlfriend. But you would hate her too: she's stupid, loud, bubbly, and entirely obnoxious. I am not 'bubbly.' I do not like to hang out with 'bubbly.' I will never understand why I agreed to date 'bubbly.'
Exhibit five: I have more clothes than any other straight guy I've ever met.
Exhibit six: I have shoes to match all those clothes
Exhibit seven: I'm completely obsessed with L- a man.
So yeah, it's not much of a stretch. But I don't like penis. Really. I'm not attracted to men.
Okay, well maybe Johnny Depp, but he doesn't count.
Neither does Antonio Banderas. I met a lesbian that said he was hot, once.
Or Leonardo Dicaprio.
Because I'm totally straight.