Hopefully I will find time to get one more chapter out before Christmas but if not, hopefully this will get you through the holiday season. Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you enjoy.

Chapter Thirty-Four

After Jason had left, looking as haunted and aroused as her, she fled to the hospital.

"If the boys continue to put on weight, like they have been, they should be able to go home at the end of the month, barring any complications. I am honestly surprised how well they are doing, considering everything you and they went through." Epiphany said as she watched the two boys. She'd been in the ER all night but had taken her break, as she usually did, spending time with the premature newborns. Too often, parents couldn't or wouldn't devote the attention they needed at this stage.

"Thanks Epiphany, that's what the ward nurse said to Jason earlier today. It's kind of terrifying thinking I will have to deal with three soon. I can't even begin to thank you and all the doctors and nurses who are always stopping in." She had no sooner got the words out than she burst in to tears.

The amount of stress she has been under, pretty much since Grayson's conception and now the twins and the court cases coming up, tomorrow…God, it wasn't even something to be stressing over but the whole sexual almost ledge they seemed to be dancing upon had her strung so tight, her hair was practically in ringlets…

"Now don't go crying, you know you are loved around here. Tears aren't going to fix anything. Shore up your spine. Times are tough all over the place, be an example not another topsy-turvy woman who wants some rich man to come and save her from their life." Epiphany said as she pulled Elizabeth into a hug.

"It's…not…that…" Elizabeth tried to get out through her sobs but the emotions just couldn't be locked away. She'd been doing her best to stay strong and be duck-like…water off a ducks back and all that but it was hard to be strong for everyone, when those who were supposed to love and care, didn't.

"Then tell me what it is. You don't smarten up, one of the nurses are going to mistake you for the newborn." Epiphany replied, trying to make the young mother laugh.

Elizabeth's snotty snort wasn't much of a laugh, but it was a start. "Sorry, it just hit me; most of the hospital staff has gone out of their way to be kind to me and my kids. Hell, I know a lot of you take your breaks in here, instead of relaxing, just so my boys are never alone…and then I remembered, tomorrow, I have to tell the world, or close enough, all about how three different people should have loved me and have actively or inactively tried to hurt or kill me. How does that work Epiphany?"

"You can't think like that. Morally bankrupt people will do and say anything to maintain their view point and way of life. You know better than most, there are drug addicts out there who wouldn't think twice about hurting someone who hurt their kids but in doing and being who they are, and are doing more damage in the long run. Life is full of Catch-22's Liz; shit never makes sense and trying to make sense of the incomprehensible will just give you a headache and a ton of heartache. Life's perplexing enough as it is; don't go buying trouble when trouble will more often than not come find you."

Using her sleeve to dry the last of her tears, Elizabeth said, "It is never that easy Epiphany. I know some people believe in the saying 'what goes around, comes around' but taking a Pollyanna view on life isn't going to make things hurt less or be any more untrue…I went to see Jeff…who I thought was my dad and you know what he said, he wished I had never been born because I fucked up his life. Like I'm the one who hurt him. All I wanted was to understand but I don't know if I could ever understand."

"Gah, child, don't try to understand. It isn't for you to make sense of it all. It happened, you've lived it and you have beaten the odds. You are nothing like those people; you have become who you are not because of but in spite of them. You can't go with 'kill them all and let God sort them out' you'd be in prison before you could blink but taking a stand and making what they have done public, well, that's as close to it as you can get, unless you want to make a deal with the Devil like Corinthos…"

Elizabeth's laughter was much more genuine this time. "Yeah, no thanks, with the way that man acts, he'd expect sexual favors and my soul and neither option is pleasant. Thanks for the shoulder. I guess everything has been building up and all this crap with Jason…some days I'm not sure if I am coming or going." Under her breath she muttered, 'I wish we'd get to the cumming so I wouldn't be so stressed out and on edge.'

"What was that dear?" Epiphany asked with a snort. Elizabeth hadn't said that quite as quietly as she had thought.

With huge eyes and a rosy blush, Elizabeth simply said, "Nothing, I said nothing…"

Epiphany simply smirked before she placed a gentle kiss to her forehead before exiting the ward.

XXXXXXX

"Jason, how are you doing? We haven't had a chance to clear the air lately." Monica asked as she walked up to his table at Kelly's.

"I…well…dad must have told you that I extended my leave. With the boys still in NICU and the clusterfuck that are all the trials coming…and then there is the issues with Elizabeth…not to mention my shooting Lucky, it is beginning to feel like everything is on my shoulders and I just don't know." Jason offered.

"Is something wrong with Liz?" Monica asked, instantly worried.

"No…she's been dealing with things very well, maybe too well. I just worry that she's going to reach her bullshit tolerance level and Hiroshima will look quaint in comparison." Jason said with a wry twist of his lips.

"Word in the hospital is that if the boys maintain, they'll get to go home at the end of the month. That's only six days away, which must be exciting and take some stress and worry off your shoulders."

"Yes and no…Grayson would be fine going home but Elizabeth has been staying at the hotel because she doesn't feel safe or comfortable in her home. Somehow, we are going to have to figure out what to do, with three kids, the hotel just isn't viable. Not to mention it scares the shit out of me, Cam and Jake are so tiny, what if I drop them on their heads or they roll of the changing station…I could give them the wrong formula or…"

"Honey, Jason…just breathe. What you are feeling, it is something all parents fear. The trick is to not let the fear get the better of you." Monica said, trying to soothe her ruffled son.

"Gee, thanks, you were so helpful!" Jason exclaimed while offering his mother a withering glare.

He wasn't expecting her loud guffaws but it did manage to make him crack a small smile.

"Jason, its life. It's scary and wonderful, horrible and full of little moments that you will want to cherish for forever. There really isn't anything that can be done, you want to be a good father, you are already head and shoulders better than you were last month. Parenting isn't set with instructions, it's not rote, you do the best you can and understand, you will screw up, A LOT, just like every other parent in the world." Monica said while hugging his shoulders.

"It would make life so much easier if there was an instruction manual." Jason said with a laugh.

"Think of it like this, you are already ahead of the game, both you and Liz are in the medical field, so you are covered there, plus, you and she both have had a hard time, I'm sure things will get easier when you and the boys get into a routine."

"Thanks…"

"Don't look so glum; after all the bullshit surrounding you two, you could have it a lot worse. Just think you could have fathered all those kids with those floozy's…and think about this, if Liz was anyone else, I don't think a few 'I'm Sorry's' would have done the job. Elizabeth's whole life was pretty much programing her to take the hits and say thank you."

That's what he was afraid of. She'd been used and abused her whole life and he'd done the same. The only difference is, he hadn't meant to hurt her but the saying; 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions…' wouldn't leave his mind. Glancing at his watch he realized he needed to get to the hospital.

"Sorry to cut this short but I need to get going. Elizabeth needs to get some rest, tomorrow is going to be hell."

"Not a problem, I was just grabbing a decent coffee before my shift starts. Give her our love, we love you too Jason. Try not to let these proceedings get between you two, you and she are both going to hear a lot of bullshit. Just stand strong for each other and you'll make it out the other side." Monica said, giving him one last hug and a kiss to the cheek before she finally made it to the counter.

Returning her hug, Jason mumbled his thanks before tossing a few bills onto the table before he left.

If he didn't want to see the dregs of society get their comeuppance so badly, he would have whisked his family away and let the city deal with them.

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