Chapter 37- Choices

I looked up as a light knock filled the room. I locked eyes with Tom as he leaned casually on the open door frame with his arms across his chest.

"Can I come?"

Sirius sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sure mate, let me just get out of your way."

Tom stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. "No, you should stay. I won't be long."

I sat up now too and Sirius and I exchanged a look.

"Tom, what is it?"

He crossed the room until he stood at the end of my bed, his hands on the foot board. "I wanted to come see when you got out, but everyone thought it was best to keep it small."

I wave my hand and smile. "Is that all you're worried about, Thomas you know it does-"

"There is another reason I couldn't come." He cut me off quickly.

"Tom maybe I should leave." Sirius says, starting to stand up from the bed.

"No, I have to say something and when I do, I don't think Kat will be very happy and-"

I lean forward and Sirius helps me sit up on my knees, I had only been out of Azkaban for two days and I was still pretty week. After sneaking out to see my Dad yesterday morning the boys hadn't let me move since. They were even giving me potions, something to make up for lost nutrients and anxiety.

I slipped them into the plant by my bed when they weren't looking. It was starting to look dreadful and was likely to die soon.

I shake my head. "Tom, what on earth have you done?"

"Katieispregnant."

My heart race increases, so fast that I can hear my heart beating in my ears. "Excuse me?"

"I said," He takes a deep breath. "Katie is pregnant."

Sirius lets out a low whistle. "But she's been participating in the order-"

"We just found out, apparently pretty late too. She's around 4 and half months. With all that has been going on we hadn't-"

"Tom what the fuck. How could you be so stupid!" I burst out loudly cutting him off. "How could you-"

"It wasn't planned, Katarina." His tone was tight. "I didn't ask for this to happen, not now."

I shake my head. "She's going to stop being an active Order member, right?"

He sighs and runs a hand over his face. "We discussed it and we don't think it's necessarily a good idea-"

"Tom if-"

He puts a hand up at the start of my angry rant. "She will be attending meetings and nothing else. She will not be going back to work at the Ministry, we know there are spies there and she will not do patrols and she will clearly not do raids and enter into any duels with death eaters. I am not an idiot Katarina."

Sirius places a hand on my back. "Dumb enough to get in this situation!"

"Oh piss off Kat!" Tom yells.

"And what about you, eh?" I ask mocking. "You're going to be inactive too right?"

"Of course not, just because Katie is pregnant doesn't mean I can't work for the Order how could-"

"What do you mean you aren't going to stop! You have a child and it's mother to look after! You can't die! What if something happens, you are responsible, you can't leave her alone!" I yell.

"Kat, this is important! I'm doing this for my child, so that he or she can grow up in a better world. You wouldn't be able to give up the Order. What happens when you become pregnant. What will you do?"

Sirius turns his head waiting for my answer.

"I will not get myself into that situation! Not ever. If I was to have children, it wouldn't be in a world where Voldemort and his death eaters exist." I say finally, avoiding Sirius' gaze.

Tom doesn't, he looks straight at Sirius and the two seem to have a silent conversation.

"I am right here!" I yell. "And Tom you have to stop, you can't leave your family. They need you."

"You're damn right they do!" He counters. "They need me to protect them and that is exactly what I am going to do. I didn't come here to ask for your permission or for you to try and change my mind. I came here because you're my best friend and I am so bloody terrified. I came here for you to tell me that even though I fucked up that I'll be okay and my child will be okay and Katie my fiancé-"

"You're engaged?" I interrupt.

"Of course, we talked about it at graduation and we decided we weren't interested in a big lavish wedding or doing the whole long engagement thing. So I gave her my mother's ring and that was that."

"I've never seen her wear that ring." I look at his face.

"We thought it would be best not to tell anyone yet, and for her not wear it so they would not target her because of me or vice versa."

"So you've been engaged for months and you didn't say a word to me?"

He nods.

I swallow and take a deep breath. "You will have a beautiful family, and will be an amazing father and husband. But you need to leave the order, you can't have both."

He sneers. "Is that what you're going to tell your brother and Lily?"

"Lily isn't bloody stupid-"

"Lily is in love and wants to get married. Lily will want a family it's only a matter of time. This is what happens when you fall in love Kat. You get married and you have children because you want that person in every way possible. Sorry that you are so emotionally stunted that you can't even give the person sitting next to you the time of day. Stop bloody using him!" He finishes with a glare.

Sirius takes his hand off my back and I watch out of the corner of my eye as he uncomfortably runs his hands through his hair.

"I'm not-"

"You're in love with him and you're too scared to admit it! Grow up Kat, it's not something that is going to kill you. He loves you more than anything in the world and you continuously use him. Grow up and be with him."

"This isn't about me." I argue. "This is about you and your poor decisions! I won't change my mind. You can't have both. That's the end of it."

"I won't change mine either." And then he turns on his heel, opening the door and slamming it shut behind him.

I take a shuddering breath. My nerves were already shot, and now my anxiety levels were rising up again.

"Sirius he's making a huge mistake-"

"Kat, you can be really stupid sometimes." He hisses out. "That is your best friend and he came to you because he was scared. How dare you say that to him-"
"He needed to hear the truth." I interrupt.

Sirius shakes his head. "No, he needed you and your support right now. Not a lecture. I'm going to go after him."

"Sirius-"

"Someone needs to be there for him and it obviously isn't you. And I am the only other person who knows." He sighs and kisses my head. "See you later."

And then he too walks out of the door.

I sigh and fall back onto my bed.

That got so out of hand. I was still shaking up from Azkaban, maybe if I had been in a normal state of mind it wouldn't have happened that way. Sirius is right- I should have just supported him. But I was scared for him, I didn't want his baby to see the world the way I had.

I stop and shake my head. Katie and Tom weren't Cordelia and Stephen. They wouldn't raise him or her the way I was raised, they will be raised in love. I really was stupid. Why I don't 100% agree that they should be involved in the order for the sake of their child. I could see why the wanted to continue to fight too, to show their child what is right and wrong and to always stand up for what they believe.

I throw my arm over my eyes and try and control my breathing.

Everything will be okay. Just take deep breaths.

A shuddering breath comes from my lungs.

You're okay, you're okay.

It was at times like these when I wondered if the greater good was even worth it anymore. When and mum and dad to be couldn't be happy about their unborn child. What has the world come to?

XX

-Sirius' POV-

I walk into The Leaky Cauldron and spot Tom sitting at the bar, a small glass of fire whiskey in his hand. I slide into the seat next to him and wave over the bartender and order one for myself.

"What are you doing here Sirius?" Tom ask, fingering the ring of his glass.

"Looks like you could use a friend."

Tom snorts out a laugh. "Friend." He tested the word out in his mouth.

"I'd say if you trusted me enough to tell me a secret that no one else but Katie and Kat know, that that pretty much makes us friends" I tell him honestly.

He nods and looks at me, his eyes a bright blue, stark against his brown hair and pale features. "We're friends Sirius, and it's been a long time coming."

This time I laugh. "You used to shag the girl I loved, nothing personal."

He laughs too.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" He says suddenly serious staring into his glass.

I put a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to get married to the woman you love, who I've come to find out is an amazing bloody woman." Tom's lips curl up slightly in a smile. "You are going to be a dad to a little boy or little girl who is going to think the sun rises and sets on you. You're going to be their hero, standing up and fighting for what you believe in. You are going to teach them how to ride a broomstick, and you're probably going to read them Hogwarts, A History because lets be real you are a Ravenclaw. And they are going to love it and hang on every word you say. And you're going to watch them grow up, and hold their hand when they cross through the barrier for the first time and watch the excitement on their face as they see the Hogwarts train. He or she is going to love you very much and you are going to do just fine, Tom. Everything will fall into place."

He stares at me dead in the eye. "I know now, exactly what Katarina sees in you."

"Tom, I-"

"No, I shouldn't have brought you into our argument, it wasn't right." He interrupts.

I shake my head and take a sip of my drink. "Before she went into Azkaban we were having the same argument." I admit. "I told her that I still wasn't going anywhere but I wasn't sleeping with her or kissing her or doing anything more than friendship with her until she admitted we were together."

"She said that you weren't?" He asks his eye brows furrowed.

I nod my head. "I get she's scared to say I love you, but don't tell me we're not together, ya know?" I sigh. "The night she got out of Azkaban she came up to me and basically said you're right I can't say weren't not together but that she doesn't know what we are. She's just-"

"She is scared. She knows you are together and she loves you very much." He tells me.

"I know. It'd just be nice to hear, ya know?"

He nods. "I do."

I sigh loudly and jump to attention as a beautiful phoenix patronus lands in front of us. It stares at us and blinks twice. At the sight of the second blink both Tom and I jump to attention Tom throws money on the bar and starts running for the front entrance, I was hot on his heels.

"You ready?" He asks me.

I nod.

And without hesitation he grabs my arms and we disappear with a loud crack.

XXsA

-Katarina's POV-

"You are not bloody going." Lily says the second the phoenix flies away.

"Yes I am." I say jumping off of the couch and towards my room, Lily was directly behind me.

"Katarina, you can't! You aren't well, you've been taking those anxiety potions-"

"Oh please!" I say waving my hand. "I haven't had a single one, I've been dumping it in the plant!"

"I knew it!" She says pointing her finger at me. "James!"

I lunge for her to cover her mouth but she evades me as she screams his name again.

"You're going to tell on me to my brother?" I hiss.

James runs into the room. "What is the bloody hold up?" He demands. "We have to go now- Kat what are you doing?"

I had started to change out of my pajamas. "I'm coming."

"Which is what the hold up is dear." Lily mutters.

He shoots her a look and she smiles.

"She hasn't been taking her potions! Look at her plant."

He turns a sharp eye my way. "There is only one thing to do." He cups his hands around his mouth. "Remus!"

"That's just plain cruel!" I say glaring at him.

"What's up?" He says appearing in the room with a loud crack.

We all jump.

"You had to apparate down the hall?" Lily asks rounding on him.

He shrugs his shoulders.

James sighs. "Katarina is under the impression she is going and also has been feeding her potions to the plant!"

Remus snaps his head towards mine. "Are you bloody kidding me? They are for your own good!"

"They turn me into a bloody zombie. I might as well be a part of Voldemort's army of infereri!"

"Stop being so dramatic Kat." He rolls his eyes. "They are not that bad, I take them on the night of the full moon."

"And…..?"

He glares. "You are not going. You are still weak and you reaction time isn't as sharp as it normally is."

"We can lock her in." James suggests.

"James!" I yell.

"Wouldn't work, you can do wandless magic, can't you Kat?"

I narrow my eyes. "Only sometimes."

"I've seen you do it. You did it a few months ago to get to me and break me free of my chains."

Lily turns to me. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"I can only do it when I'm in a desperate situation as you know it takes extreme concentrate to do wandless magic. Dumbledore and Voldemort are the only wizards alive that have mastered it."

"I'm well aware of that Kat." Remus says with a glare. "We are waisting time. Stay."

I sigh and sit down on the bed. "For now." I agree. "But if you all are not back by 10:00, I am coming to find you."

"Fine." Remus snaps.

Then he walks towards me a places a kiss on my head. "It's for your own good." He turns to walk away and I reach out to grab his wrist.

"Tell Tom I'm sorry. We got into an argument, I'd hate for it to be left like that incase-"

Remus nods as I trail off.

He turns and walks out of the room.

Lily and James stare at me. "We'll see you soon, love." Lily says finally

"Be careful please."

She smiles. "Always."

James smiles at me and threads his hand through Lily's. A loud crack echo's from the other room signaling Remus' departure. Lily and James follow suit and now I'm left in silence.

I fall back on my bed and look at my clock.

2 hours is a long time to wait, especially when you don't know what you're waiting for.

XX

-Lily's POV-

The second we appeared, James and I separated with a single look.

It was that look that said if you don't come home, I'll kill you.

My wand was out and made a large arc in front of me as a jet of purple light flew my way. It bounced of my shield charm with a loud crack.

"That was a nasty curse!" James yelled. "Watch who you're aiming at!" He flung one back, his also a particularly nasty one that if it connected would have left the death eater fighting to get out of invisible ropes that would burn into his skin. In fact it was the one I had used on Snape in the beginning of 7th year.

"James!" Sirius yelled jerking his head to the left towards two girls who were screaming while being tortured. James took off after Sirius, Peter on his heels.

Remus came up beside me. "This is insane, what reason do they really have to attack the muggle Prime Minister at his Summer Ball?"

I shake my head, and grab his arm pulling him towards the back stairs. "Let's go up through here, we can search the other floors to make sure no one has been taken up here."

He nods as he then takes the lead, pushing me behind him as we start up the stairs. We reached the 3rd floor when someone slammed the door open. Remus and I both jumped to attention and pointed our wands, but it was only a little boy, 7 at the most with brown eyes and chocolate brown hair.

"Mummy!" He screamed loudly, his fist shaking as he pointed at us.

I hurriedly put my wand away and leaned down to his level. "We are here to help you from the bad guys. Did your Mummy tell you to hide?" I ask.

He nods.

"Do you know where your Mummy is?" Remus asks him gently.

He shakes his head no.

Remus and I exchange a quick look and then Remus swings the little boy into his arms and begins running down the stairs, to get him to safety.

"Lily, don't go too far!" Remus calls.

"Just get him out of here!" I yell back.

I slip quietly inside of the door the boy just exited. We were in a large hotel and it looked as though this hall was currently filled with empty rooms. Clearly people had been running in a panic, their things were thrown haphazardly all over the halls, shirts, pants, underwear, trainers, jumpers….bodies.

The lights flickered, people were attacked up here. I could feel the magic in the walls. I peeked my head to the right a saw a family of 4 on the floor, all of them with their heads at an odd angle, dead.

The bone breaking curse.

I looked away quickly.

I heard a muffled scream from down the hall and stopped dead in my tracks. Someone was still here.

"homenum revelio." I whisper under my breath and watch as the spell takes place. It stops a few feet ahead of me the 3rd door on the left.

My presence would be known now, but I couldn't care less. I stalked towards that door all caution be damned and slammed it open. There were two people on the ground a husband and wife, boyfriend or girlfriend I couldn't tell but they are bound together in thick ropes. The woman was in a beautiful ball gown and her makeup made tracks down her face as she cried. The man was in an elegant suit and his face was blank, not a single trace of emotion.

"Ah, Lily Evans." A voice mocks. "And all alone?"

I look up into the face of Travers and next to him stood Avery. "Where's your friend McDonald eh?" He mocks. "I wanted another go at her if you know what I mean."

I point my wand at his chest. "You shut up about Mary. In fact you're lucky it's me here instead of her. I'll make this kick and painless. She would drag it out until you screamed in pain." I smile mockingly. "In fact, maybe I should do it for her, Crucio!"

The jet of red light hit him squarely in the chest and he fell to the ground his body twisting in pain and a scream burst from his lip. I saw the man stare at me and the woman whimpering. I then looked to Travers who smiled at me, his teeth yellow. He didn't raise a wand to stop me. It wasn't because he didn't want to kill me. I knew he did, but this sick bastard liked to see anyone in pain. He didn't care who they were, he got no greater pleasure than seeing someone squirm and scream. He was notorious for torturing people, playing with his victims. He's taken down whole families. It must have been him with the bone breaking curse earlier. It was one of his signatures. He rarely killed with the killing curse.

I broke the curse and held my stare with Travers. I sneered at him and waved my wand quickly towards the couple, their ropes falling to the floor.

"Go now!" I yell. They scramble to their feet. "Do not go anywhere near the ball room, go down the stairs and to the basement and exit through the staff entrances!"

"Thank you, thank you." The girl cries.

I look at her out of the corner of my eyes. This would always be worth it.

"Just go!" I yell as I block a jet of blue light coming towards my way from Travers. Avery was still on the ground, his wand laying useless in his shaking hand.

The duel began then, both of us aiming to kill.

"I could do this all night Mudblood." He taunts, as his well aimed jinxed hits me in my side, blood squirts out of my robes as the light tears through them and my skin.

"Fuck you." I hiss out in pain.

It was really deep, I knew it was. Probably deep enough to see a rib or two. My head was getting hazy from the amount of blood exiting my body so quickly. I knew I was in trouble now. My reactions were slower, I had just gotten hit with a stinging hex, which made the right side of my face swell painfully.

"Giving up Evans?" He mocks.

My vision begins to blur as I see a figure stand from the ground.

"You shouldn't have counted me out." Avery's voice sounds like it's coming from a tunnel.

I hear nothing, but see a blurry jet of purple light heading in my direction. I try and wave my wand but my am was too heavy. It hit me directly in the stomach and I heard myself scream out in pain and then everything went black.