"I still don't get it." Penny was sat on a stool watching as Leonard poured them both coffee into large mugs.
"I don't really either," he admitted. "All I know is last night Sheldon came home, said he was taking my advise and would be away for 1 maybe 2 nights."
"The bit I don't get is your advise. If you gave him advise surely you would remember.. and is this just him? Or him and Amy?"
"Look he will be here in," Leonard looked down at his watch, "three minutes. You can quiz him while he eats his cereal."
Sipping her coffee Penny said "Amy would have told me wouldn't she? If she was being whisked away for a dirty weekend by her boyfriend she would tell me."
Leonard sniggered. "Sheldon doesn't do dirty, in any situation!"
As he placed his mug in the sink Sheldon appeared.
"It's all yours." he announced and throwing a fleeting glance at Penny said "Out of milk?"
She shrugged "I am going to get groceries later. I will replace your milk. Leonard tells me you are going away this weekend. Anywhere nice?" She asked in a tone she hoped was casual.
Sheldon sighed. "I am taking Amy for a thanksgiving trial run, I believe it was a suggestion you made to her last night."
"Wow really. You are a quick worker! Well good for you."
"Amy seemed less than impressed; she seemed to think we had had a trial run in Switzerland. My mother wasn't there then though." Sheldon added, half talking to Penny half pondering the question that had been bugging him all night.
"She wont be this weekend either." Penny pointed out patiently.
"No, true. But I have arranged something better."
His smug smile had Penny frowning. "Sheldon what have you done?"
"You should be thanking me. My solution to my problem will be saving you too."
"How can you and Amy spending a night in a hotel help me?"
"Because" Sheldon grinned "my mother wont be there to judge me, but Leonard's will! This will mean as I will be keeping her fully occupied she will be unable to point out the obvious flaws in your relationship."
"Oh my god Sheldon what have you done."
"Well, I was concerned as you know that my mother, on seeing Amy and I together, would make wild religious judgements on the state of our relationship. Amy is under the impression that as we are not actually sinning then there is no judgement to be made. She hasn't met my mother when she is on one of her 'God missions!'" Sheldon muttered the last part before collecting his thoughts and continuing. "Our relationship is going well. So well in fact I am convinced my mother will be able to read our body language and see that we are no longer in a merely intellectual relationship. I had booked the hotel with the notion that seeing Amy at less familiar times of the day such as just before bed and first thing in the morning would make me more comfortable when we repeat the procedure at thanksgiving. When I got home Amy's words wouldn't leave me so I called Leonard's mother. She had planned on dropping in to visit Leonard as she would be in the area but has agreed to come to the hotel instead. She will be an observer, she will view my body language after such events as my goodnight kiss to Amy and see which areas I need to work on to hide any tell tale traits. We can spend this weekend working on our body language and by thanksgiving my mother will assume our relationship is as it was prior to her previous visit."
Sheldon looked at Penny expectantly. Her mouth opening and closing without words had him smile and nod. "I know! Perfect isn't it."
"What's perfect?" Leonard asked coming back into the room. Seeing Pennys stunned expression and the smug look on Sheldon's face he frowned. "What have you done?"
"Sheldon" Penny growled ignoring Leonard completely. "If you do not immediately call off this frankly absurd scheme I will personally call your mother and tell her you are sleeping, not only with Amy, but every woman at Caltech plus Raj and Howard too."
Leonard looked back and forth between a positively irate Penny and shell shocked Sheldon.
"But..." Sheldon began.
"No Sheldon! No buts. Phone her now and call it off or I swear to all the science geeks you hold holy I will call your mother."
As Sheldon moved to the phone Leonard whispered "Who's he gotta call?"
"Listen, you'll see."
"Beverly? Yes hello its Sheldon."
"My mother?" Leonard screeched "Why the hell is he calling my mother?"
Penny shook her head to silence him as she listened to Sheldon explain he had changed his mind. "Yes I know it would have worked," he sent Penny a glare, "but it has been brought to my attention it may not be the wisest course of action. Yes, I am sorry I wont get to see you either. OK... bye." Sheldon turned to Penny "Happy?"
"Yes!" she said simply then to Leonard "You can get this crazy person to explain what I just saved him from on the way to work." and without another word she left.
73
"Penny? Why are you here?" Amy knew Penny only came to her lab if there was something she wanted to apologise for, "What's happened?"
Penny took a deep breath and began to explain the conversation with Sheldon and the scheme she had hopefully managed to derail.
"He did what?" Amy whispered her voice full of disbelief. "Why would he do that?"
Penny shrugged. "You know Sheldon he has it in his head his mother will know something, goodness knows what, but he is getting into a real panic if this latest scheme is any indication."
Amy was silent and still for several moments before standing and grabbing her bag. "I need to see him."
"Oh Amy. Maybe you should let him calm down. I made damn sure he cancelled the plan but I know from the text I got from Leonard when he arrived at work Sheldon wasn't happy about it. Let him calm down then you can talk about it."
"Penny we go tonight. How do I know I am not going to arrive and find a welcoming committee consisting of Wolowitz and Rajesh?"
Penny grinned then frowned.
"See!" Amy said "even you know that is not beyond the realms of possibility where Sheldon is concerned. I have a good mind to phone his mother myself. Tell her exactly what we do!"
Penny grinned asking "What exactly would you tell her?"
"That I am pretty sure her oh so perfect little boy wants a whole lot more than the few kisses he has been getting. But it is me holding us back now."
"Why?" Penny asked a little shocked at Amy's vehemence.
Amy shrugged "I told you, Sheldon thinks I am still worried he will leave."
"But you said it isn't that."
"No it isn't. I do want more. But much more. I realised that while I thought I always wanted a physical relationship now I want it all."
"Marriage?" Penny guessed eyes wide.
"Maybe. Sometimes. Its every little girls dream right? But its more than that. Sheldon finally seems OK with moving forward physically even if he has gone into denial. He is trying hard I know to change but I want it to be normal, no dramas. I don't need a wedding or hotels for him to prove he loves me. Maybe I have realised that all the things I thought I needed I don't need. It is the smaller gestures that sometimes mean the most."
Penny thought about Amy's words and nodded. "So will you go to the hotel?"
Amy sighed. "Yes I will go."
"Make him suffer for his little stunt of this morning." Penny grinned. "Wear sexy clothes and let him know he may have something to really hide from Mary!"
73
"Amy? What are you doing here. I thought I was meeting you later."
"Yes you were but after the most enlightening conversation with Penny I thought it was best I drove us to the hotel rather than inflict the journey on Leonard. I would hate for him to feel uncomfortable."
"Why would he feel uncomfortable?" Sheldon asked nervously.
"Because I may shout. Because I may express an opinion of his mother he would not like and because this is private Sheldon, between just us."
"Oh."
"Yes oh. Now get in the car."
Sheldon sat as far up against the door as he could manage within the constraints of the seat belt. Eyeing Amy nervously he said "I didn't mean to upset you. I thought Beverly could help."
"With what Sheldon?"
"Errr... so my mother would not think anything was happening between us."
Amy was silent. Sheldon threw a few nervous glances her way trying to work out if she was angry or happy with his response. As Amy stopped the car Sheldon looked outside and said "Why have you stopped here? We are not at the hotel."
"No, we are not. I have stopped because I need to be calm to drive and right now I do not feel calm. Sheldon what exactly do you anticipate happening between us that you want to hide from your mother?"
"I'm not sure." He said quietly.
"Us kissing?" Amy probed.
"Yes maybe."
"Well as our friends have been spared this sight I am sure we can control ourselves in your mothers presence too if it means that much to you. Sheldon when you left your mother came to see me. She expressed, quite forcibly, the opinion we should be together. That she wanted us together. If you want to please your mother surely her knowing we are together is a good thing."
Sheldon nodded "I do want to please her, or at least not anger her. I just don't want to put us on public display for her criticism."
"Because this is new? Private? What?"
Sheldon thought for a moment. "Private, I have as you know never been one for public displays of affection or emotion. But it is more than that. Maybe a part of me feels the intimacy between two people should remain just between them."
Amy blinked as his words registered then said curiously. "So this weekend you want these things to happen? Or you want to make sure you have enough control so they don't?"
"Both." Sheldon admitted honestly. "Amy please can we just go to the hotel. Beverley will not be there, in fact if you want I will stay out of your way too."
"No I don't want that Sheldon. Come on." And putting the car into drive Amy completed the rest of the journey.
73
Amy muttered "What now!" Sheldon had told her dinner was at 7pm, she still had 15 minutes. His signature knock informing her he was uncharacteristically early meant she was not ready. Muttering as she opened the door greeting him with "Your early!" Amy turned and made her way back to the bathroom to continue getting ready. Sheldon stood in the doorway, mouth open, staring after Amy. He had been about to explain he was early because he thought they could go for a walk first to check out the hotel. But as he stared after her he knew his inability to move or speak was down to the fact Amy had answered the door in a towel!
Shaking himself mentally Sheldon hastened to shut the door and followed her towards the bathroom saying "Amy it is really not appropriate to open the door in that state of undress. I could have been anyone."
When she didn't answer Sheldon moved further into the bathroom only to hastily retreat at the sight of her now in only her underwear. "You are normally ready when I arrive." He muttered.
"Yes and I would have been ready tonight if you arrived when you said you would be here." Pulling the dress hanging behind the door of its hanger she pulled it over her head and glancing, with half a smile, at Sheldon who had his back to her she added "I am decent." Running a comb through her hair and checking the small amount of make-up she had applied looked OK Amy moved to join Sheldon.
Turning to look at her he frowned. "What are you wearing?"
"What is wrong with it?" Amy looked down at the 60's style olive green, scalloped collar, floral dress dress Penny had assured her was ideal. "You don't like it?"
"Its not that..." Sheldon let his gaze roam over her. "You normally wear a skirt, and," he waved a hand towards her, "layers like me."
"Yes well as this was a nice hotel I thought I would try something new." Amy said more defensively than she had intended. "Its not as if I am not covered."
Realising suddenly she had taken offence at his comments Sheldon tried to reassure her. "My objection was not to how well you are covered, more the unexpected style. And I like it." He added almost as an after thought.
Nodding in acceptance at his words Amy followed Sheldon out of the room down to the restaurant.
"It really is lovely Sheldon, although I don't think this is anything like the hotel we booked for New Mexico."
"No but it is clean and the restaurant has good reviews. That seemed preferable than booking into some flea pit just because it had the same amount of rooms as the next hotel."
Amy let this comment slide and gazed at the opulent surroundings of the hotel she had only ever admired from the outside before. By the time they had both placed their orders and Amy had sipped her wine, which Sheldon had insisted she order, she felt her earlier tension begin to slip away. "It is really lovely Sheldon thank you for bringing me."
Sheldon smiled and seeing the wine and pleasant surrounding were having the desired affect on Amy felt some of his own tension leave. "Maybe we should have just invited our parents here. It is so big we could have avoided my mother completely!"
Amy grinned. "Sheldon will you explain to me what exactly you had planned initially. Would Beverly have sat here with us?"
Sheldon shrugged. "No, she was going to sit on a separate table and observe. Then report back later."
"But your mother would have been sat with us, surely that would have given a more accurate reading?"
"Yes but I thought you may object to that scenario."
Amy snorted. "Yes you were right. So this plan did it involve her watching us at all times?"
Sheldon nodded not daring to answer as he knew any answer could be met with the same response he had received from Penny.
"OK." Amy took a deep breath "explain to me exactly why it would be so bad if your mother knew we kissed, held hands, felt the need to be close sometimes?"
Sheldon frowned. "She would insist we went to church. Say we were sinning."
"Sheldon you yourself caught your own mother in what can only be described as a compromising position not so long ago. Penny has told me in her youth Mary was not above the odd romantic dalliance herself. Her judgement of you is of little value weighed against these."
"Amy I am shamefully aware of both my mothers past and present behaviour; and the double standard by which she chooses to judge me. You however should be above such judgement. I don't want her tarring you with the same brush she does others. While I am admittedly fighting my own … urges... I refuse to let these be the cause of her judging you be her standards."
"What needs are you fighting?" Amy asked abandoning the Mary focus and homing in on the fact Sheldon was admitting more that she had expected.
Sheldon blushed. "Err..."
Taking pity on him Amy cut of his blustering by saying "OK. Maybe we should just enjoy dinner and talk about this later." His grateful nod led her to talk about her own mothers expectations. "Growing up I was not even allowed to join mixed groups for social events, at school she vetted all my peer group contacts, it was this that forced me to spend half my school days n the company f adults like the school janitor. Yet once I hit 21 she wanted to know why I didn't date, have a steady boyfriend and said I would never get married."
Sheldon muttered "Parents!"
"Exactly. I am guessing on meeting each other our mothers will be so busy comparing our inadequacies they don't even notice us."
As Amy watched Sheldon happily munching his way through the chocolate brownie and ice-cream she said "Maybe we could come up with an itinerary before we go. Then we would be more in control."
Sheldon paused mid mouthful and considered the idea. Nodding and swallowing he said "What exactly did you have in mind?"
"Just things to keep them busy during the day so that in the evening they will need to relax thereby, maybe, giving us a little freedom."
"Okay... that may work, if my mother visits a church and we walk around enough she will be more than happy to watch television after dinner I guess. With a little research it may work." He nodded smiling.
"I have my laptop upstairs," Amy admitted. "We could go research now."
"You brought your laptop? I didn't see it."
"It was in my bag. I thought I may catch up on some work later."
Shaking his head Sheldon moved to stand up.
"Don't we need to pay?" Amy asked surprised at Sheldon's sudden haste to leave.
"No I have it booked on the bill for the rooms." Sheldon explained and waiting for her to gather her purse they walked side by side towards the elevators. As they stood waiting Amy reached for Sheldon's hand smiling teasingly when he frowned. "Its OK your mother cant see!" she laughed.
"It sounds silly when you say it like that." Sheldon admitted and stepping into the elevator surprised Amy by bending down to plant a quick kiss on her lips as the doors closed. Her shocked expression left him feeling strangely satisfied and just a little proud; as they made there way to her room he pondered whether shocking his mother would be as equally satisfying.
"This could really work!" Sheldon exclaimed an hour later looking at the list of local attractions both their parents would approve of. "My mother will be more than surprised when we take her to the chapel with her lecturing me first, the legend will be interesting enough to lure your mother in and after lunch and some shopping we will hopefully have tired them enough to buy ourselves a free evening."
"What do you want to do then?" Amy asked curiously.
"Well normally after that long in my mothers company I retreat to a quiet space, usually my room, and immerse my self in physics! But we could go for a walk, or to the museum I notice you have bookmarked."
Amy grinned, "you noticed that."
"Yes," Sheldon smiled. "and while art and the humanities hold little interest to me it may be nice to see something of the local culture."
"And if your mother, or mine wishes to go too?"
"Then we let them go and hide in our room!"
"Room?" Amy asked eyebrow perched at his slip.
"Sorry rooms." Sheldon blushed.
"Or we could really shock your mother and have a joint room and just enjoy their expressions."
"Well it was satisfying shocking you earlier." Sheldon grinned.
"When?" Amy asked.
"Kissing you in the lift." Sheldon smiled. "The prospect of rendering my mother speechless for the entire visit is inviting!"
Amy giggled. "Can you imagine her explaining to everyone back home. No-one would believe her!"
Their planning quickly developed into more and more outlandish ways to shock their friends and family until laughing and gasping Amy said "OK enough!" Holding her hand against Sheldon's chest she said "I am glad we can joke about it. Are you feel a little more comfortable now at least?"
Sheldon smiled and nodded. "I am, and while I admit to panicking before I am comforted in knowing you did not react as aggressively as I feared you might."
Amy laughed. "Just keep Beverly away from me and you will be fine. I have heard enough horror stories from Penny and seen enough evidence in Leonard's behaviours to know I do not want that woman anywhere near our relationship."
Nodding fervently Sheldon agreed. "I should go, let you sleep" he said a little reluctantly.
"Yes it is late," Amy admitted "but maybe a goodnight kiss first."
"To practise?" Sheldon asked.
"No just because I want too!" Amy grinned leaning in closer.
Sheldon eagerly moved forward too wrapping his arms around Amy's waist and kissing her gently. Pulling away after several minutes he said "I am not sure if I am liking this dress now or not."
"Why?" Amy frowned.
"Because I can feel you, closer, it is thinner than you would normally wear."
Amy pulled back
"No don't move." Sheldon pulled her flush against him. "That was not really my objection because I like the feel of you; but normally I can see the logic to your clothing. Your layers keep you warm and are practical. This, it is similar in colour and it keeps you covered but if I was to say decide I wanted to maybe feel you closer there is no access. The practicability of your normal wardrobe does not present me with this problem."
Amy knew her eyes must be practically bulging out of he head as she choked "You want to take my top off?"
"All evening I have sat opposite you, covered so sensibly; yet the image in my head is of the dark green undergarments I know you to be wearing."
Amy grinned "That is your own fault for arriving early!"
"Yes, impulsiveness is not something I am good at." Sheldon muttered.
"Well maybe you should see what happens if when I kiss you again the hand by my neck slid the hidden zip down on my back."
Moving before he had a chance to answer Amy leant in to kiss him again. His hands did not move immediately but as she moved to deepen the kiss she felt his fingers slide under her hair to the collar of the dress. She knew she had stopped breathing when Sheldon pulled back and said "You don't want this do you?"
"What? Yes, why did you stop?"
"Because you had stopped breathing and every muscle in your body is tense! See this is why I shouldn't do this. Why I needed advise."
"Sheldon I can assure you I would not be doing this in front of an audience whether your mother, Leonard's mother or my own. I'm nervous too."
"Perhaps we should go to bed." Sheldon said quietly standing and moving towards the door. Before turning and saying "You are not angry?"
"No Sheldon I am not angry."
After Sheldon left Amy sat for a few minutes thinking about the evening. Sighing in frustration at both the situation with their parents and Sheldon's sudden stopping when he had made such huge progress, Amy went to get ready for bed. Folding the dress up and placing it into her bag Amy wondered if if she had worn her normal blouse Sheldon would have indeed gone further. Cursing herself for using tonight to experiment Amy pulled on her simple cotton night dress and got into bed.
Laying under the covers Amy realised she was too tense to sleep. Getting back out of bed she went to her laptop and opening the pages they had reviewed earlier began to fine-tune the trip. When she was satisfied there was something for everyone she logged onto the hotel website and began browsing the pictures. It looked nice. Maybe not as fancy as this one, nowhere near as big definitely, but close enough to the main places they wanted to visit and all the rooms looked spacious. She smiled as she recalled their earlier joke of sharing a room. How would she cope if the thought of him taking her clothes off had her frozen in fright. She wondered what Beverly Hofstadter would make of that! Grateful all over again that Penny had foiled Sheldon's plan Amy closed down the computer and went back to bed.
Her phone buzzing woke her and bleary eyed she reached out her hand trying to silence it. When the noise continued she opened her eyes again and saw it was only 6.48 am. Pulling the phone closer to her face she saw she had a message from Sheldon.
Good morning. I knocked but you must have been sleeping. I am in the restaurant having breakfast. If you are not here by the time I finish I will bring some to your room.
Knowing he would not let her sleep now he was up Amy tried to focus. It was the weekend! Why he felt the need to be up so early was a mystery. The banging on her door caused her to groan again and sit up. "I'm coming!" she called swinging her legs over the side of the bed and shuffling towards the door. Opening it to see Sheldon laden down with a tray load of food she let him pass before saying "Sheldon it is early!"
"Yes well I was awake and hungry, I thought you would be too." Taking in her tousled hair sleepy expression he added "I am guessing I woke you."
"Yes. But if one of those covers is hiding the bacon I can smell I may just forgive you." Amy admitted as she followed the smell and Sheldon to the table he had placed the tray. Eyeing the food greedily she said "You didn't eat downstairs?"
"No, I thought I would join you. You don't mind?"
"No off course not." Amy grinned and began to eat. "Mmm it is lovely. I never eat this much for breakfast at home."
"No, strictly speaking I should be having oatmeal." Sheldon admitted "but they had so much to choose from and it is a little like a holiday so I thought we could make allowances."
Sitting facing each other they ate in companionable silence until, moving to pour them both some more tea, Sheldon said "Do you normally sleep late on a weekend?"
"It was not even 7am Sheldon, it was hardly late. But no normally I am up by now."
"So why different today?"
"Because I didn't go to sleep until late. I was looking at the New Mexico details," Amy leant over to where she had left her laptop and turning it on she opened the finished list she had made the previous evening.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" Sheldon asked looking at her rather than the list she had presented him.
Amy shrugged, "lots on my mind I guess." she said dismissively.
"It took me a while too." Sheldon said now looking intently at the screen rather than her. "I kept thinking of ways to get the zip down on that dress."
Blushing Amy said "I was wandering if I had on the clothes I normally wear would you have undone those?"
"I don't know." Sheldon replied honestly. "If I had arrived and you had been dressed then I would not have had the image of you in your underwear in my head all evening. But if I had arrived as I did and had that image then yes Amy I would have unfastened your blouse."
"Hoo..." Amy squeaked and blushed as her involuntary sound registered with Sheldon causing him to blush also.
Composing herself Amy said "I will have to make sure I am always fully dressed when you call in future."
"That would be a sensible solution," Sheldon admitted then looking at her sideways he added "of course sitting opposite you when you are just in your night gown, and me having an eidetic memory... The image of you in that green underwear is still here." Sheldon taped the side of his head.
Amy shifted slightly saying "I am not wearing them now."
Sheldon's eyes widened and swept over her gulping he said "You are not wearing anything are you, under that I mean?" Amy shook her head half in fear half excitement.
"We should clean these plates away." Sheldon said suddenly standing and gathering the plates back onto the tray. Slightly confused and disappointed by his sudden mood change Amy stood also and moved towards the bedroom deciding it was best she got dressed.
It was as she went to the bedroom and began searching for clothes in her case that Sheldon reappeared. "What are you doing?" he asked curiously
"Getting dressed."
"Don't." He said simply. "Please."
Turning Amy said "You are sure?"
Nodding Sheldon said "I want to kiss you, touch you. Is that OK?"
Amy nodded. "Perhaps though we could go back out there." Suddenly the intimacy of the bedroom felt a little to much.
"That's why I tidied the breakfast things away. I couldn't concentrate otherwise." Sheldon reached for her hand. Shyly he said "Amy I don't know what I am doing."
"It is OK Sheldon," she smiled "neither do I."
73
A/N: A little longer than normal in a feeble attempt to apologise for length of delay! Unfortunately while I have next chapter planned it may also take a while to get here as I battle my need to write with my daughters need to have a place to live when at uni! Kids... so inconsiderate ;-)