A/N: The response for the last chapter made me so happy, I couldn't help editing this one instead of working like I should. Hope you enjoy!

twilighter: Thanks! Kara is younger than Levi…but Jacob doesn't have children in this story. Neither does Embry. So while other couples are having the children they're supposed to, they aren't. That means Levi just doesn't exist in this world, even though some of the other members of his pack do. As for Seth and Nessie...

Everyone! I wrote what could be an excerpt for Chapter 28. The Space Between. Since Angela can't be everywhere at once, it's a look at Seth and Nessie alone if you'd like.

Chapter 36: Just A Little Bit Better

The blankets were cool on my skin; it was the one benefit of not having a boyfriend anymore. I didn't wake up sweating, hair plastered to my neck, in desperate need of a shower. I could open my eyes slowly, enjoying the smoothness of the sheets.

Not having to listen to him snore should have been another benefit, but someone's breathing was forcing me to wake up.

Seth had made himself comfortable in a chair by the side of my bed (it looked positively uncomfortable, but then, he was sleeping so peacefully he must have been all right). It was astonishing, the difference it made, seeing him asleep. He was just twenty-two and finally the innocence that must have disappeared when he first rushed into battle against a vampire had rediscovered him as he slept. I wanted to bring him a stuffed animal as he sat curled in the chair (as much of his body as he could fit on it), or at least comb his messed hair into some semblance of order.

I got up to get him breakfast instead.

The smell of eggs woke him up and he found me in the kitchen, trying to work out whether he would need two or three dozen scrambled eggs (actually, he only ate nine eggs; Embry used to eat eight, but I needed to forget things like that).

"You don't have to do that," he said.

"You didn't have to stay the night."

"I thought you might be sick. In case something happened…you okay, Ang?"

"Just really tired this morning. It's just a witch thing."

It felt mean, taking revenge on Seth for something that wasn't his fault. He didn't seem to notice, though, so I didn't feel too badly about the dig.

He continued, "Sorry about confusing you last night."

"You didn't do anything but stand there. I just wanted…" to believe Embry was there. So badly. If I had all this power, why couldn't he be there? "I'm sorry I kissed you."

"I tend not to get too upset when beautiful women throw themselves at me." I'm not sure if he was trying to change the topic to something less embarrassing or was just distracted by a new thought. Either way, I was glad he moved on. "Did I tell you Rina and I went out last week?"

"Seth…"

"It was a friends thing. But she's a wicked paintballer, so it was great."

"I bet you're not bad yourself."

"We made an epic team."

"I'm glad."

"She okay? She..." Seth shook his head, trying to shake everything up so it would fall into place properly when he stopped. "I was talking about work and something really seemed to bother her. She..."

"She's a healer. She's seen...you should ask her, Seth."

"Well," Jessica said. "I can't. What was up with her?"

"She told you." Jessica wasn't impressed. I continued, "Her fiancé called off the wedding and he...she just didn't mention she was in the dress when he set it on fire."

"What?"

"Burn the witch."

"You're joking." Jessica, who accepted my heritage without blinking, couldn't comprehend that someone who claimed to love you wouldn't care that you weren't human. She just didn't understand; I didn't understand myself. I just knew too well it could happen to those I loved.

"It was kind of...a rushed wedding. But she wanted to tell him before they got married. Only the Coven takes their time about deciding things, so she got impatient and told him before they gave their approval. There was no one around when he didn't take it well. He...he really didn't take it well."

"Oh."

"It was hard for her to trust people after that. Very hard. It's also why they had inducted her so young. They were desperate to help her."

Even after they cured her body, they knew they had to do more. They gave her the power so she would feel safe, knowing it could never happen to her again.

"So...she would have beat Lauren for crappiest ex ever."

"Yeah. Pretty much."

He nodded and resolved to talk to her himself. It was that easy with Seth.

"Here. Eat up."

"You're the best, Ang."

He devoured it, the way they always devoured food. Well, there was one good thing about not being with Embry anymore. I would save a fortune on food. The thought was enough to cheer me (only a little, but I was taking what I could get lately) and I went to get Seth more orange juice.

"Have you talked to Bella lately?" he asked.

"It's been a few weeks. Last I heard they were in Australia. They sounded happy. Have you been in touch Edward?"

"Yeah. He said I could come with Charlie, if he ever decides to take a vacation. It would be fun."

"Have you heard from Nessie?" I hadn't heard anything about her and I was curious. I didn't dare ask Bella, just in case the doting mother picked up on what I was trying to hide (it was so shameful). I was angry with Nessie; I was more angry with her now that she right than I had been at the time.

"Your witchy friends have been keeping in touch with her."

"I know. She's helping them immensely." But I hadn't abandoned Bella's daughter for my new family. "I told Bella to remind her to be on her guard. They mean no harm but when you deal with that kind of power...I hope she remembers."

"Nessie is like a thousand times smarter than anybody I've ever met. She's smarter than Edward. She'll be great," Seth promised me.

"Careful, Seth." I tried to keep my voice light, even if I meant the warning. "You sound half in love with her."

He shrugged. "Everyone's in love with Nessie."

Probably not the response Jacob would have wanted to hear.

My expression must have said as much because he felt the urge to continue.

"I know she didn't really hit it off with you, but…most people love her. Hell, the only reason we were able to face down the Volturi the first time was because the Cullens managed to assemble a whole army to swear they loved Nessie."

"They loved an innocent little girl, Seth."

"She's still really..." He was starting to look uncomfortable, which was all the more startling because I don't think I had ever seen him look anything less than perfectly at ease. He regained his composure remarkably quickly, however. Seth held my gaze and refused to be embarrassed by what he was saying or how he felt. "When she's not being...she really is amazing. When she stops focusing on the craziness and just gets it,when she knows she is as special as people keep saying...I think am in love with her, then."

He considered the words for a moment, mentally testing them to see if they were true. "Yeah," he said, shoveling more eggs into his mouth. "I am. But that's only half the time, so I guess you were right. Half in love with her."

I didn't really know what to say to that. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Seth."

"She's been banished across the country; I'm not going to see her in person again. Jake actually might keep her away. I thought if he loved Leah enough...but apparently guilt works a whole lot better. Kind of depressing if you think about it. Or maybe it's some sort of wolf thing..."

I knew this conversation might get him in trouble with the others later. What had Embry said? Seth was already too close to the Cullens as it was. But the idea that he felt the way he did and wouldn't do anything made the romantic in me (the romantic that had been kicked down and repeatedly punched in the head, lately) want to cry.

"Seth, have you ever thought about, maybe, talking to Nessie about any of this?"

"No."

He made it sound like I was the one missing the obvious.

"You don't you think she might like to know you're half in love with her?"

He burst out laughing. "For someone who's only half-vampire, Nessie doesn't really get fractions. Besides, she deserves better than that. Half in love with you? It sounds lame."

"I suppose."

"Besides," Seth said with some finality (it occurred to me then that if a pack of wolves and a werewolf alpha and beta he adored couldn't get Seth to change his mind, I wasn't going to succeed), "I'm half in love with everyone."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. They all say so. I'm half in love with you."

He winked at me and I found myself turning bright red.

"You've got egg on your chin."

He laughed, giving me an eyeful of the half-masticated food in his mouth, and wiped his chin before guzzling some orange juice. I wasn't clear how much he meant it (I think he did mean it, even if our definitions of what "half in love" meant might have been different), but I was still too embarrassed by my behavior last night to continue this conversation.

We ate in silence for a while. It wasn't uncomfortable, though I suppose it should have been. Ever since we first had coffee together, Seth and I had been friends. No matter how intimate the conversation got, I suspected we would stay that way. If he wanted more from me, I didn't doubt he'd just ask. I knew I didn't want any more from him (not when he looked...it was far too painful).

"You know, I think I need to get you a girlfriend," I decided. "One you can be more than half in love with."

It made him laugh, which was my intention and helped release the last of my awkwardness.

"Didn't I already date one of your friends?"

"And Katie still seems to like you, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Maybe Sam."

"Uh, he's married. And we'd kind of suck together. Both of us are pretty stubborn."

It made me laugh, though I think he was giving me a serious answer.

"Samantha. My friend. Who is a girl. A little sarcastic, but you can handle it. And she has no opinion on your legends one way or another so that would work out nicely."

"For a while."

"That's terribly cynical of you."

"It's just something to keep in mind if you are serious about setting me up with your friends. When we break up it's going to suck for you."

I was all too aware how much break ups sucked, but I was a little offended on Sam's behalf that she was being written off so quickly. Not that they would have been great together, but it was the principle of the thing.

"Maybe you wouldn't." Right then I had to keep believing in romance. I think he understood that because he nodded. "Yeah. Maybe."

"You know, I always thought you would be a romantic. I don't know why." Not that I had really given that much thought, but I think I would have pictured Seth as a romantic. He was too cheerful to be cynical about love.

"Let's not do this," he said as he picked up the plates to help me wash them. "You just broke up with your boyfriend. You don't want to talk about love and relationships."

"I guess not. Not when I don't have anything anymore."

"Hey, at least it was good while it lasted, right?"

"Really good," I admitted.

"Then what more do you want?"

"Eternity?"

He laughed. "That's reserved for the vampires, I'm afraid. The rest of us...you think you've found someone and eventually...you don't have them anymore."

"That is the worst thing I've ever heard."

"I said you weren't going to want to talk about it."

"I wish I could think about anything other than Embry." It felt like failing to admit I couldn't leave him behind, but Seth didn't judge. "Sometimes I just wish I could forget him."

"Isn't forgetting your main witchy power?" The teasing tone faded instantly. It was a little terrifying how serious he could get, so unlike the self I believed he was. "The memories are why it's worth it, Ang. Eventually relationships end. The stuff in the middle is the whole point."

"Love should last forever."

"But it doesn't." He shrugged again. "If it makes you feel better, you'll get over losing him pretty fast. Most people get over their broken hearts a lot faster than you'd think they would."

"Now that is the worst thing I've ever heard."

"It's just what happens. People are great at moving on." Seth kissed my forehead gently, before heading out the door. "You'll get there, Ang."

But it didn't feel that way.

December began flying past and while I didn't wake up one morning and find that my broken heart had never been, I did wake up and think of things other than how much I missed Embry. So there was that.

Whatever he had intended to do that morning, I think the problem Seth left me was inadvertent. It wasn't his fault he couldn't stop joking about everything. Yet the idea crept upon me in my darkest moments...

I could forget Embry.

They had given me power, power I was still afraid to use. But I could do this for myself if I wanted. I could make myself forget—I could make everyone forget. The friends I made in La Push would no longer have to feel guilty for splitting their time between the two of us; they wouldn't know they knew me. My friends would stop worrying about me. The Coven could go back to thinking they had never interfered in the first place.

It could be as if it never was.

Only in my darkest moments did I consider it. At those times it was all I could think about. The temptation to forget was almost overpowering. If I forgot, I wouldn't hurt.

And then I'd go about my day and it wasn't too terrible. Or I'd go to Church and feel almost a little guilty for bemoaning my own suffering in the face of what Christ had faced. Or I'd see Kim or Leah or Emily or Rachel (or Seth or Jacob or Quil or Paul or the younger men and their girls or even Sam) and I'd know I could never seriously give them up.

But it was tempting, sometimes.

Like the day I went to Emily's (I'd promised to babysit that night, to give the couple some time together) and found that the family wasn't alone.

Embry was there.

A warning would have been nice, though I didn't think Sam or Emily had invited him over, just hadn't had the heart to kick him out when he appeared. They would know how to deal with the girl no one wanted, so when Sam offered to make him leave I shook my head and noticed that the couple seemed to melt into the shadows with all three children to give us some privacy.

Embry looked just the same as ever. His hair was sleek and dark, his eyes loving (it wasn't for me, anymore) and his hands still graceful. When he approached it was with the same elegance he had always possessed. There was even some of the hesitance I remembered from the very beginning of our relationship.

"Hi."

Embry spoke first. I wasn't sure I could.

"Hi."

Well, wasn't I loquacious?

"It's good to see you again," he said. I didn't need to hear that; he wasn't allowed to say that. He really wasn't allowed to say that while looking more adorable than ever.

"You too."

"How have you been?"

I couldn't handle this; I could not handle this. But I didn't really have a choice, so I pulled myself together.

"I'm surviving. I hear you're doing well. That you're happy."

"I—" What could he say to that? I was being rude. I didn't much care; I enjoyed the way he struggled to find the right thing to say. "I just..."

"Embry—"

"I miss you. I worry about you."

"You don't get to do that, anymore."

"I...I know." He sighed and he looked so lost I wanted to give him a hug; that right had been taken from me. "I just...I want you to know I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

That I could accept.

He continued: "I love you and I'm really, really sorry that everything had to work out this way."

"Thank you. Me too." I managed a shaky breath. "Okay, could you leave now? I'm supposed to be babysitting."

He hesitated, like he wanted to come to me, but thankfully nodded instead and was gone.

"Are you all right?" Emily asked, creeping through her own house. I was such a bad guest.

"Fine," I promised, taking her youngest son from her. Tiny hands on my face helped calm me a little bit. It stopped the shaking, anyway; I didn't want to hurt little Baxter.

"The sooner you have closure the sooner you can move on," Sam said as he deposited his twins on the ground. And if he took special care with his daughter, well, they were big men. They had to be careful with delicate things (the way they weren't delicate with people's hearts). "We can only ever adapt to what happens to us."

"Phasing by himself turned Sam into a bit of a fatalist," Emily said, sensing that wasn't the kind of lecture I could stand hearing just then. "Are sure you're all right? Because we can stay home if—"

"No," I insisted. "I promised. And right now I could use some playtime with little people."

Baxter just blinked his big brown eyes at me. There was no promise in there for him to break, just an uncomplicated love for anyone who held him. If I cried later on tonight thinking about seeing Embry again, he wouldn't judge.

"Thank you, then," Sam said as he wrapped an arm around his wife's waist and headed for the door. "We'll be home before midnight."

"Though if you're late, I won't turn your children into pumpkins," I promised.

He flinched.

Maybe that's what gave me the idea. Sam was still uncomfortable with what I was. He saw me as a witch first, Angela second. After all this time, I still didn't. But Sam flinched and I was strangely angry (I love you, Embry said to me that day) and that might be where it started

When I got home that night, for the first time in a month, I went home, lay down on my bed and cried. The tears were hot, but this time it wasn't sadness that overcame me. After all my time with Embry, I finally understood the anger that tore at the men of La Push, that all my friends had expected me to feel towards him.

He told me he loved me.

After breaking my heart, after leaving me, after…after everything, he told me he loved me. But the worst part, the part that forced the tears out from where I had locked them away in my heart, was that he meant it. He was such a bad liar—he had such an open face.

Embry still loved me.

I couldn't do it alone, so after dinner the next night I headed over to the Newton's.

Jessica burst out laughing when she saw me at their doorstep, dragging me inside before I could even say hello. "We're looking at old high school yearbooks. You have been warned."

"Where I have braces?"

"You should not be embarrassed," Jessica said. "Not when you see Lauren's hair."

"Or mine," Mike complained. "I can't believe I thought this looked cool."

"You were always a dork," Jessica said as she flopped back down on the couch, pulling me down beside her and then pulling the yearbook from Mike so it was on her lap. "Wow, that's bad. Almost eighties hair bad."

"I remember someone liked it at the time."

"Yes," I said, "But Jessica was weird and liked everything about you."

"I don't know what I was thinking," she said, nestling closer under his arm. "Aw, aren't we adorable at prom?"

"We are."

"How long did we search for that dress?" I remembered.

"Forever," Jessica agreed. "Way, way too long. Almost as long as it took Mike to ask me to prom."

Ouch

"He deserved it."

"I—I have no defence against that," Mike said. Smart boy. "Except that I'm very glad you did not give up on my very dumb self."

"Very, very dumb self."

"Very, very, very dumb self."

"Well…maybe I will forgive you for making me do all the work in our relationship. Maybe."

"Hey! Who asked who to prom?"

"Because she-you-shall-not-be-named turned you down." Jessica narrowed her eyes. "Oh yes, I know. I figured it out."

"Connor told her," I piped up.

Mike muttered something about traitors as he blushed. "Well, I…I accepted when you suggested we get back together."

"You were just scared of what I would do if you said no."

"She would have locked you in the basement," I agreed. "Until you said yes." By that time, Jessica had been fed up with her on-again, off-again crush/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/true love. They were getting together—or else.

"I could have taken the dwarf woman," Mike teased.

"That's dwarf woman in love," Jessica corrected. "And so I would have beaten you into submission."

"Any time you want," Mike said.

"Stuff I didn't need to know about the two of you," I said, pretending to be engrossed in the yearbook as Jessica giggled. But I smiled a little to myself as they snuck a kiss or two. I had the yearbook to distract me.

There I was, in all my awkward seventeen year old glory, with hair that was straight that I desperately wished was curly, towering over everyone while I desperately wished to be shorter, miserably in love with a boy I never believed would like me back. But he had wanted me back—what would have happened if Ben hadn't been brave enough to ask me out? I would have missed out on one of the most important relationships in my life.

I was still a year away from learning I wasn't as human as the friends that I had grown up with, the friends that shared every delight of my childhood, the friends I wouldn't change for anything (though Mike's impressions of our high school teachers left a lot to be desired). Even now, meeting a pack of werewolves and getting inducted into the highest levels of a coven of witches, I still felt like I belonged to them.

"You did." Jessica frowned, displeased with her words. "You do. You always will."

"I know."

"You know," she said as we grinned at each other, "I don't remember that night at all."

"It was just a regular night. Why would you?"

"I'm guessing there's a point to it."

"A small one." I couldn't quite keep the grin off my face. "Hey, Jess? Did you ever know that you're my hero? Everything I wish I could be?"

"Continue," she demanded. But I made her laugh. I could so be funny. Sometimes.

I still felt like I belonged to them.

I still felt human.

I still felt like an acolyte.

I wasn't.

I found Rina at my kitchen table. "Impressive wards once again," she said with a smile. "Tea?"

"Thank you," I said after I had hugged her hello. She'd been down to visit several times since I had been inducted, once again taking on the role of mentor. "It's good to see you again. I heard you went paintballing with a familiar."

"Is that what the children are calling it these days?"

At my shocked expression, she laughed.

"I'm kidding, Angela. We're not sleeping together." Rina gave me a wicked looking smirk over the edge of her tea cup. "Though the combined experience of sixteen men in a muscled package is pretty tempting."

"You're terrible." It made me smile, though. Seth had been right about something—the memories were good ones. "It might be good for you. Seth would be happy to help."

"It's not going to happen. I'm still getting grief for just being friends with him. It's ridiculous. Hilda is days away from trying to adopt that mythological creature you found, but I'm the problem. If she's not dangerous, I can't see why I can't be around whoever I want."

"They're just worried what happened to me will happen to you."

"It won't. Seth's good company partially because he's sworn off the opposite sex, too."

"Really?"

"I have to hand it to you, Angela, these familiars are like a living soap opera. It's great." Her face fell. "Not that...except the part where you get dumped."

"Thanks."

"Don't look so upset with me. I always feel like I've kicked a puppy when you look sad."

"Sorry." But my mind had drifted off to the idea that had been nagging at my mind for the past week. Not the chance to forget, but something much more…something I dared to say aloud? I wasn't sure.

"Angela?"

Rina's voice called me back to reality. She was supposed to be my teacher. If I couldn't just ask her, just ask if it was possible, just to know, then who could I ask?

"You told me once I didn't know how powerful I could be."

"You don't," she said easily. "You're not the most imaginative person, Angela. You're more accepting than anyone I've ever met—Seth excluded—but you're not...no offence. I'm not either."

"I'm not offended. I like the way things are most of the time. Except when I like the way things used to be more."

"You're talking to the girl who lived in the archives for a month. If anyone appreciates the past...What is it?"

"I want Embry back."

The words came out before I could stop them, the truth of them forcing them out before I was ready. So much for my carefully prepared speech. This wasn't something that could be rushed. The werewolves had not asked us to attempt to undo to their imprinting. They hadn't even asked us if such a thing was possible. They accepted things as they were, adapted and moved on.

I was not a werewolf. I was a witch and more powerful than I knew. So…

Sabrina knew what I meant, all that I hadn't said. I could feel it; we were connected now, more than we had ever been before, my sister and I. My simple statement of fact meant much more to her. It was all the questions that came with it—is it possible? Am I powerful enough? What was the cost?

There was always a cost with magic.

Rina knew that better than most (the tattoos were supposed to hid the scars the Coven couldn't heal).

All she said was:

"That took longer than I expected."