What time is it? Well, it's not summertime, sorry to disappoint High School Musical cast. It isn't Hammertime either. Nope. It's ranting time.

So, what pairing have I strolled across and became slightly traumatized by? This time, it isn't one with me, thank God. Nope, this one involves everyone's favourite spazzy coffee addict and Mr. Flip-you-off.

And it's called Creek. Fucking Creek. Like Lover's Creek, or Crocodile Creek. Or that horrifying and dramatic creak when a door opens in a horror movie and everyone freaks the fuck out.

You know, I probably should've mentioned this last time, but Craig probably has the emotional capacity of…of…

..uh…Wait, lemme think.

A rock? I mean…it's just kinda…meh.

Anyways, then there's Tweek. That kid has the emotional capacity of a teenage girl who just got dumped while it's 'her time of the month', and her cat just died, and she has a test the next day. In simpler terms, lock a starving cat in a room with a piece of fish, with some other cats, lock the door, and the noises you should hear should be somewhat equal.

Or, maybe Kenny and Fatass locked in the same room with the last poptart in the middle. I'd be rooting for Kenny, but Fatass might crush him like a charging rhino.

Well, really, they're total opposites. This is the part where you give me the whole 'opposites attract' crap, isn't it? Does Fatass and…myself have the same 'opposites attract' thing? Because it doesn't work.

Nope.

Never.

Don't even think about it.

Don't fucking even.

I could be the last packet of Cheesy Poofs in the world and Fatass still wouldn't touch me. That's saying something.

You know what else 'Creek' is like? Say you have some water, like a bath full. Water; common, dull and boring. Then bring along some potassium. Or rubidium. Francium…well, that shit is hard to get for a certain reason. But let's go for the potassium, since it's a pretty common science experiment.

What happens when you drop the crazy little potassium piece into the boring old water? It's goes on fire. Purple fucking fire, and starts spazzing out, whizzing around like a hyper kid on crack. Then what? Everyone pussies out and start running and screaming when the flaming purple ball of metal jumps out and tries to 'attack'.

As a matter of fact, it hit Kenny on the face. It's amazing how he didn't die, and recovered so quickly. That's a weird thing about Kenny…But that's for another day.

But hey, rather with Tweak than me, hey? That asshole…

Besides, Tweek loves his coffee too damn much. And Craig might pass out from the coffee-ness if he tries to…kiss...him…

Oh no…I'M THINKING ABOUT IT! I'M THINKING ABOUT IT!

Wait…Google Images!

Yep, just search up kittens.

Aw, they're pretty cute! Hey, that one's playing with yarn!

Fuck my masculinity! I mean, what's even left of it now? Everyone knows kitten therapy is the best way of getting rid of unwanted thoughts, right?

What am I even doing with my life? I don't even know anymore…

Y'know…It's actually harder to rant about something if it doesn't really affect you that much. Then again, Craig even being remotely happy is kinda freaky.

On another note, after the 'flaming purple ball of death' went out, Tweek flipped out and ran into the window. Craig helped him up. I can smell the fanfictions already. I've just adapted to the sense of knowing when they're going to strike. Better off about them than me though.

Well, if you don't mind me, I'm going to try and stop Fatass from buying a shit load of potassium. He's planning to drop it into Stark's Pond for a huge explosion, and as much as I'd like that dick to be incinerated, I quite like that pond, and the ducks don't deserve it.

A/N: Sorry for late update! Technical difficulties! Gah! I'm sorry for the suckiness of this one, but I just had exams when I was originally going to post it, and things have been a little hectic.

Guest Reviews!

24601: Sure thing! I'll get them done as soon as I can! As for Kenneth's ranting, that will take some time, but feel free to mention anything you want added!

StyleMarshlovski: Damn, it sucks when FF does that! But you've got a good point there! Kylenny…It kinda goes! Maybe it could get popular, who knows? Hey, that rhymed! The beauty of poetry!

Lwuzwhere: Randomosity. Yep, there's the squiggly red line of disapproval from Word again. Lovely word indeed! I promise to get those two done soon! Hopefully they should be worth it!

I3CraigT: Thank you! Poor Kylie-boo, the things he puts up with, eh? And those are some pretty good points there!

MysterionJapan: Well, by the looks of that list, a table may be flipped in near future, if not already. Those things get around a lot. As for Kike, that may be foreshadowing for next week's rant. Heheh…

ENJOY THAT PATH! SKIP DOWN IT SINGING 'FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD' AND THROW PETALS! Yep, ranting. What a glorious thing. For if it weren't for ranting, I would've crawled out a window today.

Well, on another note, there are four more weeks until I'll be leaving rainy ol' Ireland for some lovely sunshine! So, that means five more rants (Double-rant before I leave!) until I head off. Just wanted to warn you in advance, as there will likely not be any rants after that until late July when I return!

Thanks for reading!

-Cookie