Outside Heaven
Chapter 37
Sisterly Confessions
Her body had iced over in a cold, damp sweat. She found herself staring at the blank television, despite knowing she wasn't watching anything at all, but she continued to stare at the television in a blank daze. The baby she cradled to her warm body had begun to slip out of her arms without her even noticing.
"Ruthie!" her sister-in-law, whom she had once entrusted, screamed. Ruthie flinched, shaking her head, as she gripped onto Madi tighter.
"I'm sorry, Madi," Ruthie cooed at the baby, as if she expected Madi to understand what she was saying. Continually, she avoided eye contact with the person sitting next to her.
"Ruthie, I'm sorry," Sarah murmured. "I-I shouldn't have said that…I shouldn't have told you…not like this, anyway. Please, Ruthie, please don't tell Matt…"
Ruthie jerked her head toward Sarah. For the first time since she had realized what Sarah had been telling her, she looked into Sarah's bloodshot eyes. Clear liquid was streaming down her face as she clung onto Bekah. Her face had flushed into a bright red color.
She shook her head. "I don't know how you could even expect me to tell my brother something so cold-hearted. Yeah, I'm going to walk up to him, 'Hey bro, guess what? Your wife had an abortion, but not just any abortion, a self-induced abortion'. Right, like I could ever do that. How cold-hearted do you think I am?"
Tears dripped in a stream out of Sarah's eyes. She stood up and walked over to the swing to set Bekah back in it. Turning back toward Ruthie she said, "Said aloud, it sounds bad, Ruthie…but…Ruthie, you've got to understand where I'm coming from."
Ruthie crossed her hand and shook her head. "I can't say I do. Abortion is wrong by itself. But, come on, carrot seed soup? You're kidding me! That's immoral."
"It's just like having a miscarriage," Sarah murmured.
"Uh, no, it's not," Ruthie rolled her eyes. "And how inhumane of you to even compare it to that; shit, have you forgotten that I had a miscarriage? I know what it's like, and it's horrible." Sarah's watery eyes traveled around the room, and stopped on Savannah and Charlie. Ruthie looked over at the two little children. They had stopped singing and were staring toward Sarah and Ruthie with confusion.
"Aunt Sawah, what's a miscarriage?" Charlie asked; his little eyes were full of confusion.
"And what's an apportion?" Savannah asked, crossing her little skinny arms.
Sarah's eyes drooped as she glanced back at Ruthie. She shook her head, and Ruthie crossed her arms. Then it hit her. It's no different than a miscarriage, Sarah had said. Ruthie knew exactly where she was going with that. She thinks Mary and I planned the accident, Ruthie thought, she thinks it was self-induced. Ruthie's stomach flipped upside down with that thought. How could anyone think she would do such an inhumane action? I could never hurt my child, Ruthie told herself, Never.
"It's nothing," Ruthie answered, after noticing Sarah's loss for words. Even though she knew they shouldn't be talking about it in front of the children, she had a question that she had to have answered. She turned her sister-in-law, stared her straight in the eye, and whispered, "Was it Matt's?"
Sarah's eyes closed as she nodded silently. Daintily, she sat back down on the couch next to Ruthie and Madi.
"Why?" Ruthie mouthed, "When?"
"It was spring 2003," Sarah answered; her voice was full of rasp. "W-We had only been married a year…and we were only entering our second year of medical school…I-I had taken three pregnancy tests, and they were all positive. I knew I couldn't be pregnant then, I just couldn't. The timing was all wrong…and when I told Matt he acted so happy; when I saw the delight in his eyes, I couldn't just suggest we have an abortion, he'd never go for it. So…I took an alternative path. Since Matt was working all the time, it was easy. In the end, I just told him that I had gotten my period, and there were no further questions."
As Sarah explained, Ruthie's jaw dropped open. Suddenly, she remembered. Their father had gone to New York to confront Chandler's dying father. There, a nurse who knew Matt had told him that Matt and Sarah were expecting. Duh, Ruthie thought. Their dad had called their mother, telling her everything. She had called Rosina; Ruthie remembered it all clearly. It had been the same spring she had started her period.
Her mother had announced to Rosina and her father that she was 'a woman as of yesterday'. She remembered how embarrassed she had. There, her private business; had been announced to her father and sister-in-law's mother, right then and there. "Tell everyone, thanks," she remembered growling and running up the stairs. "If I can't kill Peter, I'd like to be alone."
Peter, her thoughts drifted off. What if it's his…? The thought entered her head again; it was a thought she hadn't contemplated near as much as she should have. She had convinced herself the baby was Martin's, it had to be. Nobody knows Peter and I were together, Ruthie told herself, nobody can know. Surely, by then, everyone knew about her and Martin. It was Martin's baby; it just had to be. But what if it's not? She pushed that thought of her head. I'll be asking myself that question for the rest of my child's life…Abortion was not an option.
"Who knows?" Ruthie mouthed, daringly. Obviously, she hadn't told Matt. But Cecilia, Cecilia had to know.
"I don't want to start lying to my husband…I don't want to go through what…" Cecilia had uttered. She had to be referring to Sarah!
Sarah shook her head nervously. "My mom…Dad doesn't," Sarah murmured, "and I told Cecilia last Christmas…because it's all I've been able to think of…this entire pregnancy, all I've been able to think of…what if it had been a girl? What would we have named her?" Sarah looked away from Ruthie, still sobbing. "She would be four this month…" she looked over at Charlie and Savannah and whispered, "E-Every time I see those two together, I think of the baby I got rid of…I think of how he or she would be playing with them right now…"
Ruthie's eyes watered up as she came to realize what Sarah had meant. "It's no different than having a miscarriage…" In a way, she was right, Ruthie realized. She cradled Madi tightly, and suddenly imagined that she had never gotten in that car with Mary last May. What if, instead, she had refused? What if she had run up to the attic? She wouldn't have told Mary she was pregnant, and thus, that car would have never rear-ended them.
"Aunt Sawah, it's okay," Savannah indicated, as she wrapped her arms around Sarah's legs. "It gonna be okay." The little girl stretched her arms and placed them on Sarah's belly.
Sarah nodded solemnly and bent down, seeming to be grasping for Savannah's hands. But she abruptly stopped, and grunted as she grabbed her stomach.
"Are you okay?" Ruthie immediately reacted, almost dropping Madi.
Weakly, Sarah nodded. "Yeah, fine. Just a strong kick in the ribs…I guess I deserved it."
Out of the blue, a cry came from the playpen, "Momma!" Ruthie and Sarah both turned their heads; it was Jake.
"Don't worry!" Savannah cried as she ran back over to Charlie, who stood by the playpen still. "Let's sing, Charlie!"
"Okay!"
"The wheels on the bus go round and round…" the cousins began singing and doing the motions. Ruthie immediately figured that Charlie had taught Savannah that song. It was a song Ruthie could remember singing in pre-school and kindergarten. Savannah hadn't had the opportunity to attend any sort of playgroup.
Instantly after their cousins started to sing to them, the four toddlers started to giggle. Something about Savannah and Charlie's singing contented the young children. "I love those kids," Sarah sighed with her hand resting on her unborn child.
"Yeah," Ruthie murmured, as she hugged a wide-eyed Madi. Abruptly, she remembered something. Hesitantly she turned toward Sarah. "So," she started. "Is this all that has been bothering you…there's nothing else? When I asked about you and Matt earlier, I asked for a reason…Matt was pretty shaken up at Christmas."
Sarah closed her eyes and nodded her head slowly. "I knew he suspected something…and in all honesty, I wasn't surprised when you said something. I figured he said something to you and Simon…he's always been so close to you two, I can tell."
"So, there's nothing else?" Ruthie asked quickly. "It's just…you're feeling guilty about what you did?"
"Actually," Sarah said quietly. "There is something else."
"Oh…because he also said you insisted on pulling the plug on Mom, like Mom knew something that you didn't want anyone else to know…is this it?" Ruthie asked without even remotely thinking.
Sarah inhaled and exhaled deeply. "You see, Ruthie," she said slowly. "This is hard for me to tell you…but…the day of the accident, when you were brought in, you know how your mom, Matt, Simon, and Carlos were all at the hospital with Lucy?"
"Yeah," Ruthie responded bluntly. Her head pounded with the memory of that excruciating day. The day Lucy had lost Bekah's twin; the day their lives had changed forever. If someone would have just told Lucy about the blood-type thing before, none of this would have ever happened.
"Well, you see, Chief Michaels called the house almost immediately after the hospital happened, so Cecilia and I abruptly came to the hospital…Cecilia's parents came back to watch the kids…so, anyway, Matt and Simon had pushed past the emergency room doors to get back to see you. Carlos and Mary almost ran off immediately; Mary didn't need any treatment. So that left your mom and me alone in the waiting room…your mom was in tears…and I…my thoughts were in a cloud; I was blaming myself…"
"What are you getting at?" Ruthie questioned queerly. "Are you saying that…?"
"I blurted out about the baby; about how horrible it was for Lucy to lose a third child and I hoped that you didn't have to go through the same thing we had…she was of course confused, and I told her everything…about what I did…she didn't say a word…she just stared at me with big, confused eyes."
"So…she knew…before the doctors told her?"
"Before Matt told her," Sarah said. "After Matt came out and told us that you had lost the baby, she went into cardiac arrest. But Ruthie, I've told you time and time again, it's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine…and I knew if she ever woke up, she'd be able to tell that."
Ruthie didn't know what to say. Her blood boiled like fire within her veins. All of this time, she had believed that her news had led her body into its eminent failure. But in all reality, her news had only been a very minuscule part of it.
"I'm sorry, Ruthie," Sarah said quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you…all of this, I feel like it's my entire fault…everything…just, please, Ruthie. Don't say a word to anyone. I will tell Matt everything when I feel the time is right." The time is right? Ruthie thought. She couldn't think of a time that could possibly right to break such heart-wrenching news on him.
Ruthie's eyes were directed toward her feet when she heard a familiar voice behind her. It was a voice she hadn't heard since May. "Don't say a word to anything about what?" Ruthie flinched as she held onto Madi and bent her neck behind her. Mary. Her blonde streaks were now gone out of her hair; it was pure brown. But her oval hazel eyes hadn't changed since Ruthie had last seen her eldest sister. Something about seeing her sister after all of what had happened felt eerie.
Behind Mary was another familiar, round face. She was shorter and stood about half-way up Mary's face. Her sad, blue eyes were aimed directly toward Ruthie. The fiendishness in them from last December had not diminished.
"Lucy, Mary," Ruthie gasped. "What are you guys doing here?" More importantly, what are you guys doing here together?
"Mommy!" both Savannah and Charlie cried as they ran over and wrapped their arms around their respective mothers. Mary and Lucy gave their respective children pecks on the forehead and made their way for their smaller children.
"Did Matt come back with you?" Sarah rushed before they could even answer. Her eyes were bloodshot; evidence of her tears was still present.
"Matt and Simon stayed at the hospital," Lucy answered inexplicably.
"Carlos insisted that I come back…and we were coming to retrieve our children. Matt gave us your room key before we left the hospital," Mary added.
"And Kevin and I were planning on heading over to his mom's. He went to our room to clean up…I guess he feels the need to impress his mother," Lucy rolled her eyes.
"Men," Mary and Lucy sighed. Ruthie gave her sisters a demented look. Only last summer, Lucy had been calling Mary every name she could think of. Now, here she was, standing next to Mary as if they were best friends. Had they reconciled?
Something felt all too familiar about the present situation. Déjà vu, Ruthie thought as she suddenly remembered the day of her father's funeral.
Sarah and Ruthie, along with Mary and Lucy, headed upstairs to put the four little ones down for a nap. Lucy had taken one of Mary's girls to help put down. The men of the house were busy trying to entertain the guests. Their mother and Cecilia had gone to the kitchen to get the entire food ready….
And she remembered the rest; Ruthie shuddered with that memory in hand. It was eerie, thinking that here they were, eight whole months later. So much had happened in eight months. Lucy had lost two children, Mary had fled the country again, and Sarah had just revealed her biggest secret. Could it really get worse?
"So," Lucy's eyes glared at Sarah. "What were you telling my sister?" With Bekah now in her arms, she edged closer to Ruthie and nudged her, as if she actually…cared…about her, like a sister should. All and all, Ruthie knew it was her sister's nosiness taking over her.
"Um, nothing," Ruthie responded quickly. Lucy couldn't know; there was no way. She would judge Sarah like no other.
"Aunt Sawah had an apportion, Mommy!" Savannah screeched. "She sad."
Ruthie's jaw dropped as she turned her head toward Sarah, whose eyes were opened wide with shock. After all, surely Sarah hadn't expected the three year olds to nark on her.
"Did my daughter just say what I think she did?" Lucy's eyes fired at Sarah. "You had an abortion?"
Mary's eyes gawked at Sarah's swollen belly. "Um, for having an abortion you're still showing quite a bit. I hope you know you're not supposed to have an abortion after the fourteenth week…"
Sarah shook her head coldly, not speaking a word.
Lucy's eyes jolted toward Mary. "And you know this how?" Mary shrugged at her sister's fiery bombarding eyes. "Did you have an abortion?"
"I plead the fifth," Mary smiled weakly.
"You did, didn't you?" Lucy screeched. "I knew it! When you went off to Buffalo with Grandma and the Colonel you were pregnant, weren't you? You knew Mom and Dad would never let you abort your child, so you had Grandma and the Colonel help you, didn't you?"
Mary wrinkled her forehead. "Where on Earth did you get that idea?" Mary asked.
Lucy shrugged. "That was the rumor going around school at the time."
"Um, no," Mary said. "It wasn't until I left Glen Oak for the final time; you know in 2002, I was pregnant with Captain Jack's baby. I just couldn't have that old guy's baby…"
Lucy's face suddenly lost all of its color. "Excuse me," she murmured. "I think I feel faint…" her right free hand quivered over her forehead and brushed away a drip of sweat. Bekah still lied in her left arm. Sarah stood up, and Lucy took Sarah's spot. "So," Lucy said carefully looking into Sarah's eyes, "what were you saying about having an abortion? It was spring '03, wasn't it? That was when you had that pregnancy scare…that was also when…"
"When what?" Mary and Ruthie both shot at their sister at the same time. Sarah frowned, and didn't say a word to Lucy's correct hypothesis. Instead, she waddled toward the playpen and picked up one of the boys – Jake. She pressed her lip against his forehead and frowned at the Camden sisters; though, Ruthie was the only Camden left.
"Nothing," Lucy said quickly. "Plain and simple, abortion is wrong…and I can't believe you guys! Taking an innocent life, when I've lost four babies! I can't believe you people!" she was shrieking in a high-pitched, whiny tone. There was a hint of queerness located in her voice. Something about her shrieking was unusual. It was her typical Lucy shriek.
"Wait a minute," Mary raised her finger as she picked one of her daughters—Jenny—up. "You…You had an abortion, didn't you? Didn't you?" Mary's eyes glared with fiend toward Lucy.
"What!" Lucy gasped. "I-I can't believe you would accuse me of doing such a selfish heartless cold action! I could never, ever, do something like that…and especially after I've lost four children, mind you! I can't believe you! And I was not pregnant; it was a negative pregnancy test!"
Ruthie looked at her oldest sister, the sister who had abandoned her in her time of need. At that moment in time, Ruthie had the feeling that they were thinking the same thing: Lucy was lying and being completely hypocritical.
"I remember spring '03," Ruthie said quietly. "It was the same summer that Simon killed that boy…Peter, Mom, Matt, Sam, David, and I was already at the restaurant, waiting for you all to come and join us…Lucy and Dad stayed behind at the house. Is that when you took the pregnancy test?" Her eyes directed toward Lucy.
"For…God's…sake. It was negative!" Lucy screeched. Her eyes showed like the Devil's as she glared at Mary and Ruthie. "I can't believe my own sisters would accuse me of something so inhumane!"
"Just stop!" Sarah cried, Jacob was still in her arms, but was beginning to weigh her down. Only eight months ago, Sarah had lugged both boys around. Now, one of them was too heavy for her to carry along side her pregnant belly. She turned to Mary. "Mary…my, I had no idea about…that…" she frowned, her face burnt red as she turned to Lucy, "Luce…what you did, was your business…nobody else's…" she turned back to Mary, "so, please, let her be. You of all people should know how hard it is."
Mary nodded solemnly for a minute and the four stood there in silence. Even the children picked up on the solemnity in the room, as they all remained quiet. Finally, Mary sighed, "You're right, Sarah. Absolutely right…it's hard. There isn't a day that goes by that I wonder what would have happened if I had kept the baby…Captain Jack's…he or she would be exactly a year older than Charlie."
Lucy's eyes had bottled up with tears, and all at once they began rolling down her cheeks. "Okay!" she cried. "You're right. I did it! Are you guys happy?" she threw hot gazes at Sarah, Mary, and Ruthie. "But for God's sake, don't tell Kevin! He can't know! You guys have no idea…" she turned to a dumbfounded Savannah, "Come on, sweetie. Let's go." She stormed out of the room with her two daughters.
After Lucy's outburst and disappearance, Sarah, Mary, and Ruthie stood there in silence. Their silence was broken by Charlie tugging on Mary's wrist. "Mommy, I want to go play with Savannah."
"Sorry, sweetie, but you can't," Mary explained to her son as she placed Jenny back in the play pen and bent over and picked Charlie up. "But Mommy loves you, you know that right?" She roughed his hair and kissed him on the forehead. It was the first time Ruthie had seen Mary ever show true compassion to her children. At that moment, Mary's eyes glowed with love for her son.
"I love you too, Mommy," Charlie giggled as he wrapped his arms around Mary. Mary smiled wholeheartedly at the sound of those words, and she set him back down.
Ruthie's heart lifted, hoping that some day her child would say those exact words to her. Every mother had to live to hear those words from their child. I didn't tell my mother those words nearly enough, Ruthie thought, painstakingly.
Mary turned to Sarah and sighed. "I'm sorry for all of the words I said to you last spring. I had no right to judge you. And I really am sorry. I hope you can forgive me…"
"Mary, don't sweat it," Sarah smiled wholeheartedly. "Your apology means a lot to me, and really I'm just as much at fault as you. I'm sorry too."
"I guess I didn't realize how much we had in common," Mary stated, sighing. Then she turned to Ruthie. "And Ruthie, my God, I think I owe you the biggest apology in the world. You have no idea how badly I feel for what I did to you…you could have died, and all I thought about was my own self. Life's too short to think of your self." She walked over to Ruthie and wrapped her arms around her. "I really screwed up this time, didn't I?"
Ruthie was speechless as her watery eyes looked into her sister's. Mary's wet hazel eyes stared gazed back into hers. They were sincere, actually sincere. "Mary," Ruthie said quietly. "Thank you...and I'm sorry too…the accident was my fault. I shouldn't have told you about…you know…then."
"Ruthie, it's not your fault, I was behind the wheel," Mary told her. "I had full responsibility…"
"Mary," Ruthie said quietly, interrupting her sister's guilt trip. "There's something I should tell you…now…rather than when we're behind the wheel again."
"Oh," Mary whispered. "What's that?"
"I'…m pregnant again," Ruthie uttered. There it was, so much for listening to Simon and Cecilia's wishes. But it was better this way, she figured. If she didn't come forward immediately, then she would dig herself in the same hole she had last time.
Mary stared at her blankly. "Is…this why you were talking about abortion?" she asked. "You're considering having an abortion?"
Ruthie shook her head ferociously. "No. I'm not…I couldn't…S-Sarah mentioned it."
"Oh," Mary nodded. "Well, that would have been my first suggestion…just so you know…who's the father?"
"Martin," Sarah mumbled and she set Jake back in the playpen with his brother and cousins, before Ruthie could even answer.
"Oh, Morgan," Mary murmured. Ruthie laughed at her sister's intentional incorrect usage of the snake's name. "Have you considered the other alternative…adoption?" Ruthie looked down at Madi, without saying a word. Mary's eyes directed toward the baby still in Ruthie's arm. Sidetracked, she asked, "Is that…Simon and Cecilia's baby? I haven't met her yet."
"This is Madi," Ruthie responded and turned the blonde haired baby so Mary could see her niece. "She was born in October…her full name's Madelyn Moira Camden."
"Hey, baby," Mary cooed as she smiled at Madi. The little girl's eyes lit up as she looked into her eldest aunt's face. "Can I hold her?" Mary's eyes directed at her youngest sister.
"Um, sure," Ruthie reluctantly handed the small baby over. For the first time in hours, her arms were released free of baby weight. The tension in her arms relieved itself.
"Ruthie…" Sarah trailed. "If you're going to keep this baby, you know you have to tell Martin. He has the right to know…"
The thought itself hadn't even crossed her mind. Tell Martin? No. She couldn't. Could she? What good could that do, anyway? Ruthie remembered when Sandy had first found out she was pregnant; he had denied everything, he hadn't wanted anything to do with her. And besides, Martin was probably under the impression she had taken the morning after pill. One of his texts had read: Did you get it? Of course, she hadn't responded. So, he couldn't know. He had probably assumed she had.
"She doesn't have to tell him," Mary insisted as she bounced Madi in her arms. Her eyes then directed toward Ruthie. "It's her body, her baby. It's up to her if she wants to tell the father or not."
"I beg to differ," Sarah crossed her arms. She smiled toward Mary, "I guess we don't have in much as common as we thought we did." Mary shrugged her shoulders, and Sarah continued, "Martin has every right to know, and besides if Ruthie does decide to keep the baby she can get child support out of him…and of course, he'll want visitation rights. He already has a son, and I've seen him with Aaron…he's so good with him. I don't see why Ruthie wouldn't want his support."
"She doesn't need any support out of Martin!" Mary insisted. "She has her family. Ruthie can come live with Carlos and me in New York City. Problem solved." Ruthie's eyes dropped open at those words. Live with Mary, in New York City? Ruthie remembered that one Thanksgiving she had spent with Mary, Carlos, Charlie, and Carlos's family in Puerto Rico. It had been living hell. But if they lived in New York City, surely it wouldn't be as bad. Carlos's family wouldn't be around to coo all over the babies.
"Mary," Sarah said calmly. "I highly doubt that running away from the problem is going to solve anything…and besides, we all remember the last time Ruthie was left under your supervision when she was pregnant…"
Mary shrugged. "Sure it will. It worked for me." Then she shot an angry glare toward Sarah, "And don't you dare bring that up again. I've already said how bad I feel about that."
"Did it really solve everything?" Sarah inquired. "You can't tell me you don't have regrets. Because I know you do."
"I don't regret anything!" Mary insisted. "If I could do it all over again, I'd do it the same exact way I did it. I'm happy with my life, and my children. The only thing I might do different…well, we won't go there. Let's just say, I would have never dated that Captain Jack. I only dated him to make Dad mad; anyway…I would've found someone else…um, younger…to make him mad."
Sarah shook her head. "Mary—." A loud ring came from the other room, the phone.
"Phone," Mary murmured.
"I've got it," Sarah insisted as she waddled out of the room, leaving Ruthie alone with her sister and the remaining children.
"So," Mary whispered after Sarah was in the other room. "What do you think? About coming to New York City and living with Carlos, the kids, and me?"
Ruthie shrugged; truthfully, she didn't know the answer to that. "I think you'd have to talk to Carlos about that," she said quietly and stuffed her hands in her pockets.
"I'm sure he'd be fine with it," Mary insisted. "He likes you."
"Yeah," Ruthie murmured. "I-I'd have to think about it…and discuss it with Simon and Cecilia, since all of my stuff is back there. And I've kind of been their live-in baby-sitter."
Mary smiled and laughed, she turned her head toward Jenny and Crissy. "I wish I would have had one of those when the twins were Madi's age…oh, how much easier it could have been. Of course, Mom's visits were helpful. If only she could have moved in." Mary frowned as she mentioned her mother.
"Mary," Ruthie said quietly. "I can't help but ask…what do you think should be done about the whole life support situation? Carlos said you didn't want to weigh in your opinion because everyone would blame you."
She watched her oldest sister eye's flicker dumbfounded at Ruthie's question. "That's because they would," Mary sighed. "You see…"
Before Mary could finish her sentence, Sarah burst in. Her face was frozen with sadness. "Ruthie," she said quickly. "That was Simon…they don't think your grandma Ruth is going to make it more than an hour, and she's asking for you…Matt's on the way back here now to pick you and anyone else up who wants to go."
Ruthie's head spun as if it were disconnected from her neck. Her grandmother was going to die? Both of her grandmothers were going to be gone, leaving her with only a grandfather; the Colonel.
For the first time since Simon had announced their grandmother's illness, Ruthie mourned. With all that had been on her mind, she hadn't had the chance to feel sad for that. Tears fell in buckets from her eyes, and Mary set Madi on the couch to wrap her arms around Ruthie. For the first time in years, she felt like she had her eldest sister back. The question was, would she be able to look past everything she had just found out; everything that had gone against her own personal moral beliefs? No matter how hard she tried to overcome what she had just been told, she knew her relationship with her sisters would never be the same.
Credits: Life and Death (1) and Life and Death (2) from Season 7 are referred to on several occasions during this chapter.
Author's Note: I just wanted to put this in there, this whole 'abortion' idea has been stuck in my head since I saw an episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager where Grace's step-father tells her the odds of a false-positive is slim to none, and it's likely that Adrian got an abortion. That got me thinking about Sarah; she had three positives. What are the odds? I mean, yes, it happens. But…come on. The more I watched the episode over, the more I managed to convince myself.
Debate: Should Ruthie take Mary's advice and run away from her problems, or take Sarah's and confront them as soon as possible? - Here's your chance to weigh in your input!