-Jane-
That night started as soon as they were dressed and heading downstairs, the bell already ringing loud with their rowdy crew ready and able to party like it was the end of the universe. They managed to collect the babies from a confused Titus and Solana, the two unsuspecting attendees to this thrown together at the last minute party by proxy whether they liked it or not, and head to the door.
"Hey, Lola! Don't tell me the little niños are here," James says with a disappointed sigh as he walks past them both with a beer crate in his hands. "Nothing like little ones to cramp my style."
Cortez follows him in, stopping to give their daughter in Garrus' arms a gentle rub on the back before carrying in a bag of snacks and quick party decorations. "I'm not sure anyone is ready to see that."
Jane and her mate chuckle as they nod in agreement, getting a stunned gasp of mock insult from the man as he and their shuttle pilot start to set out the sparse decorations of 'Blasto and the Evil Twin, Disastro.' It wasn't lost on her the irony of that and she quickly narrows her eyes at her chuckling husband to 'shut the hell up' before saying - innocently, "So… Blasto, huh?"
The two men snicker as EDI and Joker choose that moment to enter behind them, standing close enough to leave no question as to how the AI's long talks of love and sacrifice have been considered and taken. "Hey, Blasto fighting his evil twin? Wonder what that reminds me of," Joker says with a smirk as Jane turns her glare on him.
"I'm surrounded by comedians," she deadpans and looks at her son. "You're on my side, aren't you?"
He simply rumbles a sleepy purr and yawns, mandibles flaring and tongue poking out to curl, before nuzzling against her, but she takes that as a 'yes'. Chuckling, she looks to Garrus and motions upstairs in silent question of if now's a good enough time as any to put the babes to sleep. He agrees with a nod and rumble, so she leads the way up the stairs and into the Master bedroom.
She doesn't know if the doors will keep the noise out, but their babies are pretty oblivious to sound on good days, so, with hopes, they won't be too bothered tonight. Just in case, though, she reminds herself to get a pair of food ready and waiting for the heater and a set of clean clothes and diapers on the bed.
Right now, though, she's fine just spending time with her son, forehead to his as she swivels softly on her feet, rocking him with long caresses over his head to soothe him to sleep. When his eyes slowly start to close, she chuckles and looks to her mate with a smirk. "He falls asleep just like you."
"How's that?"
"If I caress your heads, along your fringe, and you both pass out like a light." He flicks his mandible in denial, but she knows what she's talking about, has seen it all too many times to know the truth. "Come on, you liar, let's get the kids down for bed and head downstairs before they tear up our apartment or cover it with garish Blasto decorations."
"I like them. Gives the place that 'lived in' look."
She snorts as she gently lays the sleeping baby in their shared crib, the two taking solace in their twin sleeping within reach. "I'd think us fucking everywhere would do it, but if you'd rather-"
"Now, now, no one said anything about that," he says with a rumbling purr as he nips her cheek in scolding and sets their daughter into the crib, the twins immediately curling up against the other. The two mates bask in their small family, separate from the universe, before he thrums and presses his forehead to her temple. "We should head downstairs and start this party. It would be impolite considering this was our idea, after all."
She chuckles and nods in agreement, taking his hand as they close the door and head downstairs. New arrivals to the crew have included most of the rest of their guest list and even Glyph hovers to them with a – is that really – a holographic bowtie?
"Greetings, Commander and Praetor. May I be of assistance with the necessary music to set the mood for the festivities?"
Garrus chuckles at her side and motions with a chin that he'll go greet the newest arrivals, leaving her to figure out what kind of 'mood' this party is supposed to have. Mood? Parties have moods? And here I thought it was just throw some music on and drink to your heart's content…
"Ouh," a voice at her side without a source, immediately announcing their only unseen guest, hums. "Music. Too bad you only know old stuff, Shep."
"Then you have at it, Kasumi," she retorts, looking to the voice at her right. "And, for god's sake, at least show yourself once tonight."
She just knows the woman is pouting, but lets her as she heads to greet the last of the guests coming in. Suspecting some not to show, she is both surprised and happy to see Thane walking in with help from his son. Sure, he's in bad shape and needs the help of an oxygen tank, but the smile quirking his lips makes all the difference in the galaxy. He wants to be here and, if this is the last time they may all see each other, she doesn't blame him.
"Thane," she says as she goes to him, taking his hand in a good shake. "It's good to see you up and about."
"Much to the displeasure of his doctors," Kolyat reminds with a pointed look that his father blatantly ignores before countering.
"I've already passed my predicted estimate of life, so I will not let a bit of a," he coughs a wet sound, "cough get in the way of celebrating with my good friends."
Nodding in agreement, Jane offers a hand towards the couches. "Make yourselves at home. It looks like someone brought plenty of food and drinks. I'm going to head to the others and see if we can get this party started."
They nod in okay and she takes to the others, smiling at some of of the surprise guests she hadn't expected to take her up on the offer. Among them, are Poe, McKnight, Donnelly and Daniels with Adams, Traynor, and even the two resident doctors. Sure, she doesn't expect them all to stay all night, Chakwas and Michel most likely stopping by for a few nonalcoholic drinks before speeding off to assist in the Citadel's hospitals, but even a short visit is still some bit of relaxation over none.
Just as she thinks the party is about to get started, she hears the bell chime and raises a brow at her mate in silent question. He, too, seems just as confused by the apparent visitors, the fact that they haven't even started reason to not expect any complaints just yet, and she heads to the door to see who the hell it is. Leave it to me to have someone out there suddenly sense a party and expect to be let in.
What- or more importantly, who- shocks her even more than if the Reapers were to suddenly, as Joker put it, 'learn the value of love and surrender'. Instead of someone here to complain, though that still remains to be seen, are the only people from her past crew she hadn't shared such a friendly report with, Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams.
"Shit," she curses softly as she opens the door and steps out, hoping her mate didn't just see who was here. Last thing she needs is him opening fire again even if the situation may end up calling for it. "Williams, Alenko."
"Hey, Shepard," Alenko greets with an unsteady smile, rubbing his injured shoulder. Garrus is good, got them both is the exactly same spot. "We just wanted to talk about what happened with the Council, clear the air."
"I talked to Garrus," Ashley starts, scowling a bit as the fist on her bad arm clenches. "I still don't see the need to shoot us like he did, but I don't question you on shooting Udina anymore. Udina was a fucking bastard, undermining humanity like he did by working with Cerberus." She sighs and looks up into the green eyes of her former Commander. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to trust you about Cerberus. I guess I just never got offer the fact that you came back and I was looking for an excuse to still hate you for dying."
Jane chuckles with little humor and crosses her arms. "I'll try to remember not to do that anymore."
"It's not just that, Shepard," Kaidan tries to soothe. "You can't expect us to have known about all what happened to you those six months. And with the Councilors? We were just going off what we saw. And then the confusion over when I thought I saw you?" He huffs a weak laugh and rubs his neck. "I mean, a clone? Even you can't say you expected that."
"What I expected was my crew, the ones who went through Virmire with the rest of us. You know, the planet we could have all been nuked on?" They flinch slightly at that and she sighs, relaxing. "Look, I need to know if this is ever going to turn into a pissing contest again. If it is, I won't reign in my or Garrus' anger. With the galaxy probably ending, I'm tired of the bullshit."
They look to the other, a silent conversation going between them before Alenko looks back with a nod. "I'm sorry, Shepard."
Jane nods in understanding before looking to Williams, expecting a fight that, unbelievably, she doesn't get. Instead of the usual bickering that seems to mark their relationship, the woman says, "Okay, Shepard. No more questioning unless it's legitimate and constructive. And… I'm sorry about not believing you after all the hell we've been through. Soldiers are like family and I forgot that."
Life too short to hold onto grudges, Jane nods and quirks a lip as she turns and presses the access to the apartment. "Then, I say you join the rest of us in living like we could all die tomorrow."
Ashley blinks in shock, but Kaidan warms up to it, nodding as he nudges her to join. Jane follows, smiling at her mate's questioning look, letting him know it's okay, that the tension is released between the three. He takes it for what it is, a tenuous agreement to put the past aside, and comes to her, offering a glass of something red and blue and a small platter of sushi, the set of chopsticks for her and a turian version for him meaning they'll share.
"I see you're making friends," he rumbles with a smirk. "And here I'm the one mingling."
She snorts and takes a drink, humming at the alcoholic taste that is subdued by whatever else is mixed in. "What is this?" Holding it up to the light, she watches the colors swirl.
Shrugging, he motions to Samantha set up at the bar. "She calls it Morality, a mix between two other drinks she's made. You should ask her for a Heat Sink."
His smirk tells her all she needs to know about that drink choice and she snorts. "You just want me on the floor."
"Not my fault you can't hold your drinks." He chuckles and kisses her temple before offering her a bite with his sticks that she takes willingly, despite her glare that he innocently ignores. "Why are you even such a lightweight anyways?"
"Newf boffy." She swallows and answers his lifted brow. "New body, then pregnancy. I got a lot to catch up to." At that, she lifts her glass and drinks some more before handing him the glass in order to be conscious as she checks up on the rest of the guests.
Over time, she begins to see how each group of her friends slowly begin to become more inebriated by the second. Some are subtle, less subtle than others - 'Alright, Tali, no more spiked lemonades for you and Javik? Stop trying to touch people' - and some of the crew that you can only tell their getting plastered by the content of their conversations - 'Oh boy, I need to worry about a booby trapped apartment now. Thanks, honey' - and she's starting to feel like she, Thane, Kolyat, and Poe are the only sane, sober people around. And that's not including the AI that is merely faking a slight buzz, so they have legitimate excuses of health, age, and designation going for them, so what the hell am I doing not joining the majority?
Chuckling, she heads to the bar and motions Traynor over for a drink, her choice, as she gets into the conversation between Vega, Cortez, Wrex, and - she doesn't want to know how or why he's in this conversation - Javik over the better vehicle to take a team to ground.
"We used to ride Threshers," Javik drunkenly slurs. "They have gotten much larger since then. Why is everything much bigger in this cycle?"
"Your cycle sounded like it sucked," Wrex deadpans before looking to James and Steve. "I still say a Tomkah blows all your Makos, Grizzlies, and Kodiaks."
James scoffs with an eye roll. "Nothing can beat the Gizzly. Ugly bastard but the thing could put a hole in your Tomkah." They finally notice her as she's slid a disgusting looking shot from Samantha. "What do you say, Lola?"
The drink burns as it goes down, packing a punch, and she shakes it off with a slight cough. "About what? Vehicles?" Another drink slides to her and she gives a pointed look to Traynor of 'I'm not trying to get shit faced in five minutes flat'. "That a euphemism for sex?"
Wrex is the first to laugh, soon groaning with a hand on his codpiece. "Don't talk to me about sex, woman. This is supposed to be my break."
She snorts and sips at her drink, something smokey with a bit of sweet. "If we're talking vehicles, then I'm talking a Mantis gunship-"
Steve chuckles around his drink and explains to the confused Lieutenant. "A Mantis is a turian-made gunship design."
When Jane smirks, Vega finally gets it and makes a stunned sputter in his drink before he coughs his drink down. "Damn, Lola. Keep it upstairs."
"I do not understand this attraction to another species. Primitives are so strange," Javik grumbles into his drink as the others laugh.
"How do you and him… you know…"
"Fuck?" she supplies in the new N-7's stumbling for words and chuckles, ready to have fun with his hesitant curiosity. "See, they have these barbs… and it slithers, like a snake," she crooks her finger, watching horror flash over his face, "and it has a hook on the end and-"
"Alright, alright," Wrex cuts in, "Let's not give the boy nightmares."
"Dios, you can't be serious."
"Of course she isn't."
She snorts and sobers up to stare in his eyes. "Or am I?"
She leaves them at that and heads into the next group, where a group is circled around the dining table, a small line of drinks with each. It doesn't take much to realize it's a game and she steps in between Tali and Gabby, asking, "So what drinking game are we playing tonight?"
"Never," Tali begins with an exaggerated hand roll, "have I ever."
She chuckles and looks around at the players, Liara, Tali, Gabby, Chakwas, Ashley, Solana and Jack. All women and definitely not the kind of people to pull punches, but what the hell. "Well, I'm in for a round."
They smirk and she knows she in for trouble, too late to pull out now as Gabby starts. "Never have I ever kissed a turian," she holds up a finger, "in any form."
Solana groans and takes a drink as Jane narrows her eyes at the woman, ignoring how Liara, Jack, and Chakwas drink. "That was not cool. Too easy," she grumbles as she takes a drink.
"Now I know why you weren't too squeamish by in back on the SR1, Shepard," Ash adds with a chuckle and gets an eye roll in response.
"Alright, next."
"Never," Chakwas starts, "Have I ever been injured from sex." She smirks at that one, most likely a weighted question.
"Hah! Oh wait. Dammit," Jane curses as she takes a drink, remembering the time she headbutted the headboard once in a really vigorous 'thank god you're alive' bout of sex. There's also, she's sure, a bunch of times she can't remember, but she's not drinking for all those she can't put an exact story to.
"I did," Jack says as she takes a drink, "But it felt so fucking good, so," she takes another drink to illustrate how good it was.
Tali, too, drinks and Jane raises a brow, getting a shrug and lack of explanation. With that as the last drinker, it's now Liara's turn. Granted, her asking is probably a bit unfair, but in their states, who really knows that besides Jane?
"I've never beaten someone to death with my bare hands," she says innocently with a smile as Jane groans and drinks with Jack and Ashley.
"I think this is all a plan to get me plastered."
"My turn," Solana rumbles with a big grin as she looks right at her sister-in-law. "Never have I ever had a relationship of friends turn friends with benefits."
"Fuck buddies?" Jack laughs and pats the woman on the back. "That's a good one!"
The redhead purses her lips with narrowed eyes before taking a long drink on her own. "Seriously? I'm the only one with those kinds of relationships?" They nod and she sighs. "Great… Next person trying to get me drunk."
Jack grins hungrily and rubs her hands. "Never have I ever fucked in a public place of any kind."
Chakwas drinks and many look to her in surprise. "I'm not some young maiden, everyone. I have a life outside of the Normandy, you know."
Snorting, Jane almost gets out of drinking when eyes turn to her and she sighs, downing the rest of her drink and, unfortunately, being passed more for the rest of the game. "I better get a chance at this before I have to stumble off to the others."
"Not until myself and Tali," Ashley says as she slides her larger glass to her former Commander. "Better get ready for this because something just tells me this applies to you." She waits for Jane to have drink in hand before saying, "Never have I ever watched porn with another person."
At least, she figures, Tali joins her in this one, taking a few sips through her straw, as well as Jack -no surprise, really - and Sol, which she knows isn't so out of the ordinary for an adult turian, but Jane still feels like these questions are all educated guesses at her married life. Still, it's a bit of a pain in ass having to down another good portion of one of Williams' drinks. Never in her life would she have thought her sex life would be hashed out so completely, but at least she's getting ammo for her own question.
"Ouh, ouh! My turn!" Tali sing-songs as she wavers on her feet, swaying against the table as she giggles. "I've never done something kinky." She drinks, forgetting the rules are to not get yourself drunk.
Shaking her head with a heavy breath, which probably isn't such a good idea considering her head is currently swimming in mixed drinks, and downs the rest of the glass. Jack, too, follows, but no surprise there knowing the girl's taste, but soon Daniels, Liara and Ashley follow, making her chuckle. "So practically the whole table."
It finally her turn, Jane smirks and rolls her shoulders then rubs her hands together. "Never… have I ever…" drum roll "fantasized, sexually, about someone in this apartment that isn't your significant other at the time."
Groans around the table as she gets everyone of them to drink, actually surprised that Sol has managed to find attraction to someone through the short time on the Normandy and now. Although, with turians as open about it as they are, she supposes she shouldn't be all too intrigued that her sister-in-law found someone from the group of best of the best soldiers to be attracted to, if only for a time.
Chuckling at her success, Jane leaves them and heads out, going upstairs to check on the babies to see if they're asleep and finding Titus up her. "Hey," she says as she steps in. "You know you're invited to the party downstairs, right?"
"I didn't want to intrude. It was clearly a celebration between your crew." He hums and ducks his head, setting aside the datapad he is reading. "I figured I'd watch the children."
She snorts and opens the door. "Get out of here and go have fun. I'm sure Garrus, if he weren't turning the place into a giant explosion waiting to happen, would agree to you enjoying yourself."
"I-"
"Now." Her tone brooks no argument as she crosses her arms. "Go. See if you don't want to get drunk, you don't have to, but at least have fun while everyone is all together." She smiles when he nods and starts to move, looking to the babies.
"They haven't woken in the time that I was here."
"We'll keep an eye on them," she ensures as she walks to the crib and caresses their sleeping heads. When she turns back to the door, her mate's father is gone. "He better be done there with the others," she whispers to no one before bending down and kissing each baby's forehead and closing the door behind her as she steps out.
She doesn't have to go far to find where Titus has gone, as he has found Thane, Margo, and Adams sitting in the upper seating room, chatting over a friendly game of Skyllian Five. They easily deal him and start to chat and laugh about the recent 'clone' incident when Adams asks about the children's decorations of Blasto and his supposed evil twin.
"So, let me get this straight. Shepard had a clone and that's who tried to take the ship," the engineer asks in disbelief and shakes his head. "And as Cerberus attacked?"
"Only with the Captain, right?"
"I thought she is at the rank of Commander?" Titus rumbles in confusion as Thane chuckles raspily.
Margo chuckles and shrugs. "I call her Captain because, well, she might as well have been with how she calls all the shots. Plus, you'd think they'd have given her a rise in ranks after everything!"
Adams, chuckles and nods. "She definitely deserved it."
"I know," she adds with a smirk as she leans on the couch's arm rest. "With all the shit I put up with, I should be the fucking Commander and Chief of the fucking galaxy!" She emphasizes with her hands as she continues. "Shepard, save us from Cerberus! And from the Reapers you all warned us about!"
Chuckling, she shakes her head at the ridiculousness of it all as she takes an offered sushi plate from Knight. "And don't get me started at all the little things."
"It does seem like the Alliance just looks for ideas to send you all over the galaxy," Titus responds with a chuckle. "You get to see more of the galaxy than a vacationing couple."
She snorts as the others laugh and leaves them to their conversations as it takes a turn to laughing at Cerberus incompetence, from Thane's experience to Adams, mixing to a three year long tale of the human organization that just doesn't know when to give up with stupid experiments that always blow up in their faces. Jane is happy to admit that she is just one of those experiments, but she's sure they don't quite see it that way.
Heading back around to the main stairs to take her down, having come up the back ones by the kitchen, she finds a group dancing to Glyph's thumping music. It's not too loud, so she assumes the soundproofing of their room must be good enough not to make it to and wake her children. For that reason, she doesn't force it off as she walks to them and starts to dance the ridiculous, rigged dance she's made famous with her crew.
"Please, Shepard," Kaidan starts with a chuckle. "Tell me that's not all you got after three years."
"Of all the things that upgraded with the Lazarus Project, her dancing was not one of them," Miranda deadpans as she undulates in a seductive dance.
Poe giggles from where she dances with Kolyat, defending her with, "I like it. It gives Shepard character."
"See? I have 'character'," she responds with a raised brow to the group, hearing them chuckle. "Alright, alright." Dropping her arms, she steps around Ilden as she backs out of the circle. "I know when I'm beat. You all have fun in your dancing competition without me."
She mock sniffles as she leaves, heading downstairs and for the rest of the crew. Grunt, in his drunken state, has found himself in the fountain, but she's just not strong enough to pull him out, so she leaves him. Sure that he'll be fine - his head is above the shallow water, after all - she follows voices into the study and finds the poker table, thankfully, being put to use for what might be the first and last time in its life.
"Dammit," the burly merc that was just booby trapping her apartment curses. "You better not be cheating with that sex bot."
"I assure you, Zaeed. I would not assist Jeff unless he agrees to dance."
"I don't do 'dancing', I do breaking and shattering, EDI."
Kasumi flashes into existence long enough to grin and say, "I can't believe I'm missing this on the Normandy."
"Come on now," Kenneth motions a hand at the now 'empty' seat. "How are we supposed to know if you're bluffin'?"
"I don't think Kasumi is actually playing," Jane reassures as she crosses her arms and watches the game. She's going to tell herself there's no reason she's found herself behind Doctor Michel's back, but who knows for sure?
EDI deals for the group and steps back, arms behind her back and back to hounding Joker for a dance, to which Jane is almost ready to offer to do it herself. Instead, she watches the group lift up their cards and start to sort their hands out before laying down bets.
Steadily, she watches as they go around the table, poker faces about as they gauge the others' reactions. Jane, on the other hand, can't help when she sees eyes on her and Michel, making slight facial expressions in tells.
An asshole move? Maybe. But worth it to put the woman in her place for the, even now, blatant come ons to her husband? Absolutely.
This'll teach you to send 'turian chocolates' to him after I played tonsil hockey right in front of you in the middle of your hospital, she thinks as she crosses her arms and watches as Michel bets against her bad hand. Giving the woman a break, she collects her expressions and leaves the others to deal with it themselves, sighing inwardly when Donnelly falls for it. Apparently, he's still wary of Jane's own poker face that he got confused, but oh well, it's not her credits.
Zaeed manages to catch the woman on her bluff and wins the pot, which leads Jane to leaving them to their game. She's already influenced one game enough, so she sees no reason to keep dragging the woman unknowingly through the dirt. Heading out, she goes in look for her mate, the one person who has, thus far, been nearly impossible to find.
"So wait." She hears the slight thickness of vocals as his voice pulls her to the training room, where he stands with Arcanus, the two sharing a drink, this the however many numbered one for her mate. At least, she figures, he's not staggering and just a bit ragged in his vocals, so maybe he's only as drunk as she is. "You're telling me that you'd have tried to keep her if she wasn't suddenly a giant Reaper thing?"
"As I said, I deemed the risk too great," Reguix explains with a nod in greeting to her as she enters, Garrus rumbling warmly at her. "Shepard, good to see you. Garrus and I were just going over the hypotheticals of your clone situation."
"Wonderful," she deadpans. "Why does everything involve the clone today?"
Garrus chuckles and says, "Because it's not everyday your clone tries to kill you?"
She rolls her eyes and looks to the older turian. "So you'd save her?"
"Save her? No, but should you have apprehended her for whatever reason and she was merely influenced by, say, Cerberus, instead of the Reapers, it would cross my mind to attempt to undo those damages." He takes a sip as she raises a brow in question.
Garrus growls unbidden, but not so much at the man as the thought of the clone still urking him, she can tell, and frowns. "Why consider it?"
The looks long and hard into his drink, rumbling softly in thought before he squares his shoulders and looks straight into, not hers, but her husband's eyes and explains, "I am not a person who would ever allow himself to sink themselves to the level of, how do humans say it, 'making a move' on another's mate?"
If Jane had a drink, she'd cough at the thought of that statement, never once expecting it from the older man she was sure she caused to sigh in exasperation more than her own mate on occasion, and she watches the golden eyes flick to her before focusing once again on cool blue as he speaks without falter. "I will freely admit, Garrus Vakarian. I am jealous." With that, he takes his drink in hands behind his back and strolls from the room, never looking back.
"Wait…" She looks to her mate, at least knowing the drink has calmed him enough, perhaps even put Archangel into a warm, peaceful nap, not to snap at the man for his honesty - which she's actually doubtful of he even doing given the oddity and the fact that Arcanus was going about it deceptively. Possessive, yes, but she's never known Garrus to rip someone's head off for admitting it once and dropping it.
"Did he just…"
She pauses at that before shouting in disbelief, "What's with everyone trying to fuck me?!"