I knew it couldn't have been his own damage. No, he was always to good and innocent to go that path. But the past is rushing back and biting my ass big time. I knew the hell I put him through. Especially after I found out everything. It only got worse after.
"I'm sorry." It's weak, it's more then a little late but it is all I have.
He digs into his more then average Sunday breakfast and shrugs. "It is what it is" My fork clatters to the plate and echos loud before I even realize it has left my hand.
"Bullshit! Excuse me but I Am gonna have to call it what it is right now!" He startles but doesn't let it show to much as he calmly puts his own fork down without a sound. Sorry, I shouldn't be yelling I know, but this is crap. When the hell are you going to get mad? When are you going to ask for what you deserve? It's really fucked up that someone like me is more pissed about it all then you are."
"What good does it do to be pissed? What will my anger get me?" I can't believe how calm he is. I want to throw shit, yell scream beat on something. But he is sitting there calm and even not an emotion moving across his face.
"It might show you are human. That's the thing, you were always so even keel, content. Thinking back now it wasn't happy I always saw. It was content not happy not sad. Just content and complacent."
"Well I hope you got your wish at least once or twice then." He started clearing his dishes and turned his back to me.
"The meds, it wasn't you was it? You were with a junkie huh? I bet you just took the abuse there too. Yup I bet you took all the crap he fed you too and packed it away in your little complacent box and put on the deadpan face. God forbid you you say something. Lose your temper, walk away. Nope lets keep falling for people that will treat you like shit because we all know that is what you thrive on."