For those who guessed where this was going, here's time to see if you were correct!

This was quite a draining chapter to write but I really love it. I knew a moment like this was coming, so it's nice finally put it in.

I'm very excited for what's to come next. Things are really going to change now. It's up to you to guess if that's for the good or not though.

Reivews would be amazing because I really feel nervous about this chapter. So I want to know your thoughts.

Oh and it's extra long, sorry. I was going to halve it, but the point to do it would have made a very short part two.

Enjoy.

Chapter 35

It was the pronounced change Nymphadora Tonks saw in Remus Lupin that made her stare. He was back to his normal quiet, reserved and thoughtful self; nothing like the man she'd just kissed in the bathroom upstairs seconds prior. Then he had been witty and even talkative, but he was now withdrawn, serious and unapproachable. It was amazing how different he was around her when they were alone. It was like seeing two sides of something and each being completely different. But somehow, she enjoyed the puzzle and the contradiction; the complexities of his personality were utterly fascinating. It did not stop her staring at him grimly; waiting for a response she knew was coming. He was going to blame himself, to take this attack by one of his kind as a reflection of himself. When it could not be further from the truth.

Tonight's meeting was not without disaster; in fact it was fraught with it. The werewolf Tonks had written her report on had recently become identified, and it was none other than Greyback. Kingsley had arrived with this news and Tonks knew everyone was thinking about Lupin. The Prophet had mentioned his recent attacks but it was only in a small corner somewhere in the middle on the paper. The scariest part of all, and the part the Prophet seemed to be avoiding, came from Kingsley.

"It seems he no longer waits until full moon to attack."

Her eyes found Lupin, who was looking like he was stuck somewhere between anger and remorse. He found her eyes as well but did not smile; he clenched his jaw and looked away, swallowing in disgust. Tonks was not stupid enough to believe any of that was directed at her, but it was breaking her heart to watch him fall apart, at least that was what she assumed he was doing. She couldn't exactly understand why, but then again, she'd never understood why he thought so little of himself. The hardest part of being with Lupin was the complete greatness of him. It made her constantly feel like a silly little girl idolising someone much better. For Tonks this was difficult, as people rarely did this to her, and she fought so hard for equality everywhere else. It seemed she could never be on equal footing with this man. Not when he always had the answers, always said the right thing, never acted on a bad impulse, everything was precise and correct. He was everything she wasn't. The end of the meeting brought no conclusion, only a very solemn Lupin. They filed down into the kitchen and Molly started cooking straight away.

Hardly anyone spoke during the meal. Sirius was glancing at Lupin intermittingly after they took seats by the fire. Lupin had hidden himself behind a book, but Tonks could see that his eyes weren't moving, he wasn't reading. Tonks wanted to be there for him, to help him in the way he had helped her the few weeks before, but she couldn't. He was guarded again; his emotions and his feelings were going to be kept very close to his chest. Her best hope was to leave him with Sirius; knowing Lupin would confide in him at least. After everyone else had left the house, Tonks, Lupin and Sirius were left sitting silently by the fire. Tonks slowly stood from her armchair and walked over to Lupin. He looked up at her without speaking and co-operated as she lent down and gently kissed him goodbye. She turned around and said a silent goodbye to Sirius, before casting a worried look from him back to Lupin. He nodded, and as Tonks walked out the door, she heard the discussion begin.

The new claims of Greyback on the loose had sparked more chaos in the Auror Department, which was fast becoming where Tonks had spent all her time, and not at Grimmauld Place like she wanted. At least it had been for all of January and now by the looks of it, February was heading that way too. All except for Valentines Day, she made sure she had that day completely free. Nothing was going to prevent it from being anything short of perfection; she knew the two of them needed it after such a difficult month. At the end of an exhausting week, Tonks felt like she needed to be in the company of those who could cheer her up and made a beeline for Grimmauld Place.

"Dora!" Sirius exclaimed from his seat at the kitchen table, brightening at the sight of her.

Lupin was leaning against the stove and his face softened as he looked up at her from behind his book. Even from his smile, Tonks could sense something more going on behind his eyes, but she was too tired to get it out of him if he didn't want to share.

"Perfect timing actually. I was just saying to Moony we should get out the chessboard and some Fire-Whiskey," Sirius said.

"I'm in," Tonks promised eagerly.

Sirius stood up and clapped his hands together.

"Right. Remus, you get the drinks, I'll find the pieces."

With that he hurried out the room.

"How was work?" Lupin asked, taking the seat opposite her.

"Busy. I miss the days when we just used to sit around re-writing reports. I didn't feel like an over-tired zombie then."

He smiled at her sympathetically and he still had that same conflicted look in his eye, but she ignored it.

"Remus, I thought I told you to get the drinks. Not chat up my baby cousin," Sirius scorned when he walked back in.

Lupin sighed and stood up, going to the cupboard and getting out the Fire-Whiskey.

"Now we'll take it in turns and whoever loses has to drink," Sirius explained, when the bottle had been placed on the table.

He and Lupin were up first and Lupin won, much to the dismay of Sirius, who was still mouthing off about cheating. Lupin was a very strategic chess player, which didn't surprise Tonks at all. He never let his chess pieces too far from his side of the board; instead he drew the opposition in to him. Sirius and Tonks swapped seats and Lupin smirked at her.

"You don't think I can win, do you? " She asked, shocked by his smugness.

"I never said that."

"It's written all over your face. I'm pretty good, you know? I got taught by Bill and Charlie," Tonks told him.

"Well, we'll see."

Tonks felt her mouth drop at his arrogance. If it weren't so cute she could have been mad.

"Yeah we– "

"Can you stop the flirting and get on with it?" Sirius grunted.

Lupin gave him his very stern teacher stare and Tonks laughed.

"White goes first," he reminded her.

"I know," Tonks said indignantly.

The game lasted for nearly an hour. Tonks was determined to prove she was better than him, but he would laugh at her smugly in a very un-Lupin like way every time she made a mistake. Finally it was down to a few pieces and at very important moment Lupin made a very obvious mistake and Tonks won the game.

"How you feeling now Mr. Big Talker?" Tonks asked arrogantly.

"I guess, I have to give up the title. You beat me fair and square," Lupin sighed, making Tonks grin widely.

"It's okay Remus, you went down to a worthy foe," she added.

Lupin smiled at her again and then glanced down the table to where Sirius was passed out. The bottle of Fire-whiskey next to him was completely empty. Tonks took the opportunity to rub her victory in his face again.

"I feel the loser should be the one to drag him upstairs."

Lupin nodded, before standing Sirius up and placing his arm around his shoulders and helping him upstairs. All the while Tonks was still basking in her victory as she followed them, little did she know Lupin had actually allowed her to win on purpose. She walked into Lupin's room, not really caring that he hadn't asked her to stay, she was staying anyway. Lupin arrived a few moments later when Tonks had sat on the edge of the bed and begun taking off her shoes and socks, folding them neatly, a stupid habit she'd picked up from him.

"So do we have any plans for next Saturday yet?" Lupin asked, rooting around in his briefcase, which was on the desk.

"Yes I do, but I'm not telling you. G–G–Getting nervous are you?" Tonks said, yawning loudly mid-sentence.

"I am as nervous as you are awake. Hop into bed and get some sleep, I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going?" Tonks asked feeling worried.

"I left something downstairs and I'm going to read it there instead of carrying it all the way up here," he explained walking towards her.

He bent down and Tonks expected him to kiss her lips but he roughly kissed her forehead, leaving the room in seconds. Tonks didn't know whether to be bothered by his strange behaviour but by the time her head hit the pillow, she was asleep. During the night she was awoken as Lupin climbed into bed, he cuddled up behind her, but no-where near as close as he usually did.

The following Saturday came much faster then Tonks expected. The following week it transpired was going to include three raids, one on a house where the Carrow's were supposedly hiding, another that involved a suspected ring of Werewolves and the final had something to do with Dumbledore. Tonks was unsure whether to mention anything to Lupin about the second, not after how he'd behaved after finding out Greyback was at large again. So when Saturday morning arrived, Tonks found herself in the Auror Department, scribbling down the rest of her surveillance reports from the Carrow's hideout so she could get home and finish planning for the night ahead.

"Yes!" She exclaimed loudly when she finished her final report.

Tonks threw her quill down and started gathering her belongings together. Kingsley, no doubt hearing the disturbance, appeared over her cubicle wall.

"Finished already?"

"Yeah! I get my Saturday back," Tonks said happily.

Kingsley smiled at her for a moment as she started putting on her coat.

"Not so fast," he said and Tonks' face fell.

"What?"

"We've been given a job to do," Kingsley told her.

"But I've got– I mean, I just finished all Scrimgeour's work," Tonks explained, almost pleading.

"It's not that kind of job," Kingsley said, and Tonks noticed he was wearing a travelling cloak.

He passed her over a note and Tonks immediately recognised the loopy scrawl.

Kingsley,
As today is a Hogsmeade visit I would prefer to
have some guard for Harry. Mundungus has offered
his services, but I feel it best to have a collective
group. I would wish for yourself and Nymphadora
to do so. Please give her my deepest apologies
if she had plans on this very romantic holiday.
Albus.

Tonks' heart dropped at the end. She wanted to scrunch up the letter and forget about it. She glared up at Kingsley, hating him and his smug smile.

"Just tell whichever ripped-jean pierced and tattooed looking lad you've picked for today, that he'll have to wait, I'm sure we'll be done by late afternoon," Kingsley laughed.

Tonks smiled at him. If only he knew which lad she'd picked.

Hogsmeade was bustling with people, even in the rain. Most were grouped in pairs, holding hands, snogging, or blushing at each other nervously. Tonks had disguised herself as an ordinary villager with flyaway brown hair. She'd followed Harry into the teashop that he'd been dragged into by a pretty black-haired girl. It was still the most ridiculous place she'd ever set foot in. Madam Puddifoot's had been decorated for Valentines Day. Never had she gone in it while at school, she'd only laughed at those who did. There was confetti being thrown over couples, big hearts stashed everywhere, pink streamers and floating cherubs. Tonks sat at the back disgruntled and alone, receiving sympathetic smiles from Madam Puddifoot herself. She wondered how she got shafted this job, when Dung got the side of the village with The Three Broomsticks, and Kingsley got the Zonko's side. Life wasn't fair.

Harry and the girl didn't seem to be making much progress. He kept glancing nervously at the couple beside them, who Tonks was assured must have been super-glued at the lips as they were yet to take a breath. Jealousy was never one of her good traits, especially when she wanted to be behaving that way with someone else. Suddenly the girl Harry was with was crying and screaming at him. Tonks caught the word 'Hermione' a few times, but tried hard not to listen, as it would cross a line into spying on him. Harry laughed at her for a moment, and Tonks cringed, knowing that it was the exact wrong thing to do with a hysterical girl. Everyone was watching Harry, even the kissing couple had unglued themselves to watch. Harry's date stood dramatically and left, leaving him looking bewildered at what had just happened. Within minutes he stood up awkwardly, throwing down some money and left. Tonks followed him out, without him noticing, and watched him walk off towards The Three Broomsticks, knowing Dung was waiting there. She almost ran towards Zonko's and found Kingsley immediately. She sidled up next to him as he stood surveying the entrance to the store.

"He's gone to Three Broomsticks," Tonks informed him brightly.

"I thought he might. How was Puddifoot's?"

"Horrible. How'd you know he was going to go into there? It was some girl who dragged him in, not him," Tonks laughed.

"They always do," he said knowingly. "You're trying skive off early aren't you?"

"Maybe," she smirked

"Too bad. You should have gone and gotten those sweets from Fred and George. You stood a better chance then," he said, chuckling.

"I can still go and find them."

"I'd know what you were up too though, wouldn't I?"

"Yeah, but, me vomiting in the middle of the High Street would blow our cover, so you'd have to let me go."

Kingsley only chuckled again.

"Please Kingsley! I promise I'll do all your Ministry travel validation forms for all of next week?" Tonks whined.

"This boy is obviously important," Kingsley remarked.

Tonks felt herself blush, her hair too, which she quickly had to change back, though some of the students around them noticed it.

"Fine, go. I'll cover for you, but you owe me."

Tonks grinned and jumped around excitedly, hugging him.

"You know I feel sorry for this bloke," Kingsley said as he let go of her. "He's going to get assaulted by Sirius and I hate to see the day you introduce him to everyone else. Is he good enough? What do we even know about him?"

Tonks laughed at the irony in his words but felt loved by the amount of protectiveness he was showing for her.

"More than you think."

She walked off before he could even ask what she was talking about.

She was walking the lane towards Hogwarts in the rain, laughing to herself about Kingsley, when a loud voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"HEADS!"

Tonks looked around to see a flash of scarlet and yellow and then a quaffle landed just near her, causing her to lose her footing and land squarely on her backside.

"Sorry," the Quidditch player said, still hovering in the rain-filled air. "It's our stupid keeper, my git of a brother. I swear he couldn't catch a cold."

Tonks put two and two together in her very well trained Auror mind. She knew who the Gryffindor Keeper this year was, so that meant–

"Ginny!" Tonks cried standing up and looking at the figure in the air.

"Yeah?" She asked, sounding confused as she got off her broomstick.

"Oh right, my hair," Tonks laughed, concentrating on her hair, turning it short and scarlet.

"Tonks!" Ginny ran forwards and hugged her. "What are you doing here?"

"Dumbledore sent me. Just some Order stuff," Tonks muttered.

"Following Harry?" She asked in a low whisper.

Tonks nodded before explaining where she'd been and asking who the girl was.

"Cho Chang, she's in Ravenclaw."

"Why aren't you in Puddifoot's with Michael, your boyfiend." Tonks asked, teasing her sightly

"I wouldn't be caught dead in that place," Ginny replied, aghast.

Tonks laughed.

"Cherub's not to your taste Gin?"

Ginny laughed as she picked up the Quaffle.

"What're you doing for Valentines Day anyway? You have tickets for that Holyhead Harpies match don't you?" Ginny asked excitedly.

"Going tonight. It's going to be mental," Tonks said proudly. "We'll have to go to a game together during the summer though."

"Brilliant. I gotta get back to training, have fun tonight."

Ginny hugged her quickly and got back onto her broom.

"Good luck for the Cup," Tonks yelled out to her.

"We'll need it," She sighed before zooming off out of view.

A knock at the door sent butterflies running wild in her stomach. Tonks had put on a relatively nice outfit, doing away with the usual ripped jeans and t-shirt; she'd gone for a pretty top and well pressed non-ripped jeans. Her hair was dark green in support of the Holyhead Harpies, but it matched quite well with her black top. She marched through her newly cleaned flat and opened the door to find Lupin standing awkwardly upright. He smiled at her warmly. He was dressed in his usual trousers, button up shirt and cardigan combination, but they looked very clean and she wouldn't have been surprised to learn that the jumper was actually brand new.

"Good evening," he said.

"Hi."

Tonks stepped back and allowed him inside. When she shut the door and turned back around, Lupin was surveying her flat with an odd expression on his face.

"It's clean," he noted, his tone ambiguous.

"What's wrong with that?"

He looked back up at her, looking puzzled.

"It just seems different. I guess I miss the mess," he added warmly.

"You git," she mumbled as she hugged him.

"So what's on the agenda for this evening? A home cooked meal?" He asked, nervously glancing towards the kitchen.

"Nope."

"Mead by the fire?"

"Nope."

"Then what?

"Tonight, for us, I have top level Holyhead Harpies versus the Tutshill Tornadoes tickets. Best seats in the stadium and you can't even get all high and mighty about taking charity, cause I got them as a gift. After that, well, we can come back here and mess my flat up together."

Tonks watched him, the excitement flooding through her, waiting for him to congratulate her on her brilliant plan. Instead his smile faltered slightly, it was small enough to miss it, but the change in the air around him was undeniable.

"What?"

"Quidditch?" He asked, his tone far too steady and stepping back a bit further from her.

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's quite– " He paused as though he was choosing his words very carefully. "It's quite public isn't it?"

"No one's going to attack us there Remus. We can go in disguise if you'd prefer it," she said, furrowing her brow and not quite understanding his problem.

"No, it's not that," he paused again for a long time. "Can't we just stay in?"

Tonks blinked at him a few times. He wasn't making any sense.

"I just thought you'd like to go to the game. I got the tickets for my birthday and everything. It's a top of the table match– "

"Tonks, I would love to go and use your gift and I thank you very much for thinking of me. But there are other things to consider. Safety should be a priority," Lupin interrupted, still speaking too steadily.

"I didn't realise I was suddenly dating Mad-Eye. Besides the Death Eaters would never attack us so publically. They're not ready for open warfare and you know that," Tonks said, trying to fight through the haze of confusion.

"I know that. It is not about that."

Confusion was very quickly replaced with anger as she started to see the meaning behind his backward thoughts.

"Can you explain yourself please, Remus? Because I'd love to find out why you're suddenly refusing to be seen in public with me," she said darkly, holding down the anger she wanted to add.

"Stop twisting my words, Tonks."

"You haven't given me enough words to twist yet!"

"I don't feel it wise to put us on show. We're going to surrounded by witches and wizards, most whom know the two of us," Lupin reasoned, but it only made Tonks angrier.

"So?" She spat.

Lupin didn't say anything. He only stared at her, breathing deeply and having that same look she'd noticed a few times behind his eyes. It angered her.

"Right, so I'm not good enough to be taken in public with, but good enough to sleep with is, that it?"

"Stop it Tonks," he ordered.

"You're ashamed of us aren't you?" Tonks asked, anger boiling in her chest.

"No," Lupin said, finally losing the steadiness in his voice.

"Then why can't we go out? Why are we still hiding from everyone?"

Lupin didn't respond. So Tonks plowed on, every worry and every insecurity she'd had about the two of them rushing to the surface.

"Was this a secret? Am I going to tarnish your reputation or something? Is that why we haven't told anyone? Don't worry Remus, no one is going to think less of Dumbledore's little pet, they'll make excuses for you. I'll just be the young dumb kid who got a bad case of hero worship and slept with someone she shouldn't have. Surely the professor isn't to blame, it must have been that young tart's fault," she yelled, mocking him.

"Tonks, you're twisting my words!"

She couldn't stop the blood pounding in her ears, her fists were balled and she was seething.

"I'm not Remus. I'm going off your actions. You can say all kinds of lovely and sweet things and maybe we're shagging now, but we're still back where we were six months ago aren't we?"

"What?" He asked, staring at her.

"There isn't even an us Remus. You have never sat down and called us a relationship, I have and I would gladly do it aloud. Why do you constantly make me feel so horrible for wanting to do that? Were we getting too close for you or something?" She spat, knowing her words we harsh but not caring.

"I told you I loved you Tonks and– "

"Three little words Remus, like that's meant to mean something. It's more than that and you know it is. If you really loved me, you wouldn't be doing this. You'd be happy to come with me, and proud too," Tonks cut him off, hurt and frustration spilling from her words.

She let her words hang in the air for a few moments as Lupin just looked bewildered and hurt, but instead of feeling for him as usual, she was satisfied by his pain. He swallowed and then steadied himself again, and Tonks knew he was stopping himself from saying the things he really wanted to say. Which only added fuel to the fire, so to speak.

"I can see we are not going to understand each other. I'm going to go," he said.

"Like hell you are," Tonks told him, moving between the door and him as he walked towards it. "You're going to stand there like an adult and tell me what's going on! Or we're done."

"Are you calling me immature? If anyone is behaving like a child, it's you Tonks. You have been putting words in my mouth since I arrived," Lupin said, finally raising his voice.

"I put words in your mouth because you don't have any of your own. If you talked to me, I wouldn't have to."

"I have been talking to you," he growled, running his hand through his hair before taking a deep breath. "It is not my fault that you don't understand," he added, venom filling his words

"What is there to understand? You haven't given me a reason except for some lie about safety," Tonks yelled.

"I'm leaving."

He reached out for the doorknob, but Tonks was not done.

"You don't even have the spine to tell me what's really going on, or why you've been acting like a git lately."

He opened the door and looked back to her, his eyes narrowed malevolently.

"It is because we are not equal."

The door slammed and Tonks was left staring at it, anger, confusion, hurt and shock, all vying for the top spot. The sound was reverberating in her head, making her angrier and angrier. She didn't even know where the argument had started or why it had gotten so out of control. Valentines day was not meant to be like this. How had he found her one little weakness and just zoomed in on it? Was it so obvious? It had to be. She wanted him to come back so she could yell and scream at him some more, she wanted him to yell and scream as well, but he never did. Never before had she felt so mad at him, all the times before felt insignificant by comparison. What right did he have to suddenly get all pompous about the two of them? There were two people in the relationship. It wasn't even a relationship, it had never been given that name, they had skated over that, and she had never brought it up because she knew it irked him.

Had she misjudged him? Was the self-deprecating thing really just a façade that housed a man who truly did know his potential? Who was just as arrogant as Sirius? He was leagues above her after all, how could anyone not see that? He was more talented, more composed, and far more mature. She was just this clumsy kid, how could there be any comparison.

Slowly the anger melted away, but what it became was worse. It was fear. Fear that she had pushed him too far away. Fear that what she had said was unforgiveable. Fear that she could never fix what had transpired between them. She slipped down onto the couch, looking forwards at the fire, waiting.

Fear that he may never return.

Tonks didn't know why that bothered her the most, there were the obvious reasons, but how had he gotten himself caught so deep inside her that she did not want to be without him? She was a happy-go-lucky person, and now she felt like she needed another person just to survive. That was very backwards in the world of Tonks, but she did need it, she wanted it, she wanted him.

At first, as she sat perfectly still on the couch, she thought he would return in minutes. Burst in and explain himself, yell and go red in the face, but he didn't. He would be annoyed and they would argue again and then somehow work through it, like always. But still he didn't. He had weakened her, as she sat in complete silence, waiting, counting down the minutes till he returned. He'd played on her weakness with such ease, and such venom, she couldn't believe it had happened. It was that which disappointed her the most. Not that he had discovered her insecurity, but that he had used it to hurt her. It was so disappointing to learn he was not such a great man after all. He'd taken her to a deep part of her that she tried to hide. There were insecurities in there no one was meant to know about, let alone use to wound her. Betrayal had never felt so painful.

Still she waited, hours must have passed, but still she sat there, knowing he would return, hoping anyway. Whatever she was feeling, this fight was far from over. She fought the tiredness that threatened to pull her away, she fought the coldness from the weather outside and she fought her heart, which was telling her to curl up into a ball, and cry in a very un-Tonks like way. She desperately wanted to cry, but she was not going to dignify his ridiculous argument with her tears.

Lupin slipped back into the flat so quietly, one could have wondered if he was really there or if it was a dream. He sat beside her, near enough to be counted as close but too far to be intimate. The irony could possibly have killed someone.

"Tonks?" He said, his voice full of fear, perhaps he was worried she would hex him or devour him whole.

Both were good options.

Tonks did not look at him, she continued staring forwards.

"Look– I– it's not that– I mean– I don't think– I'm sorry," he finally sighed, his voice filled with guilt and too much emotion. "Only five seconds in and I'm already buggering this up."

Tonks knew she should have coerced it all out of him, like she usually did, but she didn't want to this time, the bitterness would not allow it. She finally met his eyes and she could see the ache behind them. His whole body was moving with a kind of pain filled restless energy.

"I'm sorry," he said again, now that she was looking at him.

He glanced away and stared at the floor, preparing himself. Tonks was not a spiteful person, but watching him squirm was feeding the bit of spite in her.

"We're not equal Tonks," Lupin said, still looking away.

Still Tonks didn't speak, even though she wanted to scream again.

"I don't know how to say it eloquently, but I'm not implying I am above you in any sense of the word, in fact the opposite. You are too good for me. You're perfect, and I– we're not equal."

It was blurted out so uncouthly that it made Tonks wonder whether he'd meant to say it. When she turned a little more towards him, she could see it. He was hurting, just as much as she was. It nearly made her angrier to see him in such a state over the stupidity of his own beliefs.

"That's ridiculous," she said, anger still sitting in her tone.

"I promise you it's not. Don't you know the burden I carry? The burden you in turn would carry. I'm going to say plainly this so we cannot misunderstand each other. A relationship with me will only bring heartache, it will, we will, never be accepted. Look at the last meeting, the judgement that poured out of everyone onto me because of another one of my kind. I could not live with myself if I did that to you, Tonks.

"No one was judging you Remus. Everyone cared for you and worried," Tonks tried to tell him, but she knew he wasn't going to listen, which only frutrated her more.

"You just don't understand. It will never be a happy ending Tonks, it never can be. Not with all the predjudice."

"And you think I care? Do I really look like the type of girl who cares about what other people think?" Tonks said, almost losing her temper again.

"You will."

"Don't. Don't tell me what I'll feel. Because if you think I will, you don't know me well enough," she replied, trying to keep her frustration from their circular argument in check. "You're a werewolf. Big deal. I don't care and you need to accept that. I don't care."

"But others will," he muttered, almost the sound of promise in his voice.

"I'm not others," Tonks promised back. "Unless you are worried about yourself. What everyone will think of you.

"No Tonks, this is about you and– "

"Are you worried what everyone will think about a middle aged werewolf kissing such a young impressionable girl?

He didn't speak, he only glanced away, not refuting her words.

"My god you're a prat. Do you know that?" She asked, being serious.

"Yes."

"Can't you just see past all this werewolf bullocks? I have never in my life met a man so kind, so intelligent, so talented, so loyal, filled with such empathy and all those other things that make up an amazing human. Why are you still on about this werewolf thing?" Tonks said exasperatedly.

"Because," Lupin said as if it explained everything. "Just look at this week for example. Greyback– "

"You're not him," Tonks interrupted exasperatedly.

"I know I'm not. But do you know what I would do if I were responsible for him hurting you. If I hurt you…" he trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence. "But can't you see what my kind can do? I'm not fit for this Tonks, for us, however much I want it."

"Look," she said, sighing and turning further towards him. "I can't change that little backwards mind of yours, but you're nothing like those men so stop it. I can't change how little you think of yourself, and honestly, it's that quality in you that gets you out of a lot of trouble with me. But I don't know why it's changed everything with us all of a sudden. I told you I didn't care about the werewolf thing at the start, and for a while, it was perfect. It was fun and we laughed, we joked with Sirius and we didn't care. What changed? How have we gone from that, to this?"

"I don't know," Lupin sighed putting his head in his hands, and Tonks thought she heard Greyback somewhere in the exhale of his breath.

Tonks placed her hand on his leg and he looked up at her instantly.

"We're still the same Remus. It's still there in you somewhere, in us both. But I'm at a distance all of a sudden. I don't want to carry on like this. If it means we just become friends, I'd rather have the old you back. You just have to talk to me, tell me what's going on in that big, scary, brain of yours."

"I could never be just friends with you," he said sincerely

"Good."

Lupin leaned across quite suddenly and kissed her. It was a kiss of apology, of understanding, of affection and most of all a kiss of love. Tonks gripped onto him and he did the same. He pulled back, his breathing heavy and she could feel that his heartbeat was unsteady.

"I'm trying," he said, halfway between sounding like a plea and a truth.

He looked so vulnerable in the moment as he stared at her, more vulnerable than she ever expected to see him. It was almost frightening to watch him feel, not think. Tonks wrapped her arms around him, this time she was hugging him. She held on to him tightly, trying to prove that she would never desert him; she would never leave him unless she had too and she would always love him. He would one day reach the point where he would not be a git and he would see himself the way she saw him, but maybe Tonks would have to fight much harder for that day.

"Just for the sake of our next argument– "

"We're having another now?" Tonks asked sarcastically into his chest.

"Just in case," he said, glaring at her for interrupting. "I love you."

Tonks grinned.

"Thank you," she said, deliberately messing with him.

She felt his body shrink and he sighed loudly.

"You're not going to make this easy are you?"

"Never. But you love me, so you'll deal with it," she laughed.

He sighed again, laughing softly, and then pulled her closer into him. She smiled, welcoming his warmth, hearing his heartbeat slow as they held onto each other. They were open now, they were vulnerable, every card was laid on the table, to the point where any wrong action would hurt the other beyond repair, but it was real and it was them. Tonks couldn't remember a better end to a Valentines Day.

To be continued...