Keldeo paced back and forth in a huff, his laptop on the ground nearby with Matthais Unidostres on video chat.
"- and you tell me this NOW?! Right now? Right before the review? Are you serious?!" Keldeo said in an upset tone.
"Look, Critic, I'm sorry," a Matthais said from the laptop, "But the contract Channel Awesome gave to Fluttershy specifically said that she couldn't appear on any other review shows for a minimum of six months after the Ghost Rider review."
"Well why didn't you tell me that earlier!" Keldeo exclaimed, "Why didn't you find out about that before I got my hopes up! It was gonna be awesome having her here to guest star with me. I was gonna give her a much bigger role than the one Doug Walker gave her."
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry Keldeo. But hey, I can still get Ghost Pony Rider to come!"
"Without Fluttershy to balance it out?" Keldeo asked in confusion.
"Ghost Pony Rider is awesome!" Matthais said.
Keldeo gave Matthais a look that said 'are you mentally insane?'
Matthais lost his smile and looked away, "Uh, forget it. Look, if you think you've got it bad, I've had to review an episode of Friendship is Withcraft! But I did say I could get Fluttershy, and I did break that promise, so I'll make it up to you by sending you a much better fanfic to end Mew and Mewtwo Madness with. I'm E-mailing it to you now. I'm sure it'll cheer you up."
Keldeo sighed, "Well, might as well. The one I had in mind won't work without Fluttershy."
"Sure. Well, if you need me, I'll be drowning my anger in Sunil/Pepper Fanfiction and Scootalove FimFiction. Bye," Matthais said, and the video chat ended.
Keldeo opened up his Email Inbox and opened the file with the fanfic.
"Okay, let's see how Mew and Mewtwo Madness will end," Keldeo said as he started reading.
BOOOOOOOOOOM!
The wall was blown apart by three Psywaves from Mew, Mewtwo, and Mewtwo Girl.
Two Mewtwos and Mew
Mewtwo charged his giant spoon with Psychic energy and fired it in a flash of power.
Mewtwo and Mew clashed in an epic battle.
*Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing!*
Mewtwo Girl and Red Genesect embraced each other passionately as they fell down through the atmosphere.
Hello, Mewtwo here.
Hi Zena, I'm doing the thing for Keldeo the Critic
Mewtwo broke out of the metallic claws.
Mewtwo Girl destroyed the electric orbs around her.
Mew giggled as she played on a windmill.
What do you mean Ghost Pony Rider's not going to be in this review?
Mew floated in an orb of Aura was Ash and Lucario projected their Aura into it.
Mewtwo Girl in her Mega Y Form caught three Pokeballs in her Psychic grip and crushed them.
O-okay. Hold-hold on. . . are you telling me that Ghost Pony Rider is not going to be in this?
The three Legendary Psychic-type floated proudly as Mewtwo twirled his giant spoon.
ErrrrrrrrrAAAAARGH! *Smash! Crash! BOOM!* Mewtwo is OUT!
Keldeo the Critic
Mewtwo is Pissed by RatherHomely
(Keldeo has his head in his front hooves, and is absolutely shaking with laughter. He looks up with rosy cheeks and he struggles to speak.)
It's me! K-Keldeo the Cr-Cr-Critic! I - I - I -
(Keldeo broke down into laughter for a moment, but quickly composed himself)
I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the Swords of Justice! HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!
(Keldeo fell over onto his side and rolled around as he burst out laughing. He lay on the ground kicking his legs for a while, until finally calming down enough to speak. He slowly stood back up and took a few more deep breaths to fully calm down.)
Okay, okay, okay. It's obvious that Mew and Mewtwo Madness was inspired by the Nostalgia Critic's Nicholas Cage Month. And well, Nicholas Cage is an actor that likes to act crazy, right? Well, how fitting is it that we end Mew and Mewtwo Madness by reviewing a fanfic where Mewtwo acts as crazy as Nicholas Cage!
And we can't forget that many fans have a certain opinion of Mewtwo's personality. That is to say, people feel that Mewtwo is an angry, proud, angry, irate, arrogant, angry Legendary.
Okay then, now, what happens when you mix that interpretation of Mewtwo with a Nicholas Cage style freak out? You get the comedy fanfic of the year, Mewtwo is Pissed by RatherHomely.
Mewtwo is Pissed
By: RatherHomely
There has been a very mixed reaction to the addition of a female Mewtwo to the Pokemon Universe. And no one is more pissed than the original legend himself. Can old Mewtwo stop new Mewtwo from hogging his spotlight? Will he even be able to get past the reception desk? Tune in to this journey rated T for language to find out!
I consider this to be the author's way of venting his anger at the addition of Mewtwo Girl. However, unlike an angry YouTube Video Rant or a trollish blog post, this way of reacting is actually constructive and- and- and-
(Keldeo cracks up with laughter again as he throws his head back and laughs out loud. He calms himself down quickly this time and nods.)
and it's very, very funny. I mean, this is hilarious. The way Mewtwo reacts and the way other characters react to his reaction, it's just hilarious. Alright then, let's not waste any more time. Let's finish off Mew and Mewtwo Madness with Mewtwo is Pissed.
Latias heard the loud thump of two three-fingered hands slam against the desk in front of her. "I want to see the Pokémon in charge, now!" His deep, telepathic voice jabbed at her mind like a hot poker. She'd been expecting this and had hoped he wouldn't barge in during her shift, but fate was not something that was kind towards her as of late.
She lowered her magazine, only to be greeted by the face of an extremely temperamental Mewtwo. Latias let out a sigh and delivered the standard spiel in what was probably one of the most unconvincing pleasant tones possible; "Hello sir, welcome to the home office for LRCB, Legendary Registration and Control Bureau. My name is Latias and I will be the one providing you with our patented legendarily high quality assistance today. How can I be of service?"
So apparently, Legendary Pokemon have a special bureaucracy that they have to register with. Okay. . .do they have functions? Benefits? Is it like being a member of Club Nintendo?
Arceus: "CONGRATULATIONS, MELOETTA! You've performed your 100th song as a registered Legendary Pokemon!"
Meloetta: "YAY! Thank you, thank you! What do I get?"
Arceus: "You've earned 100 Legend Coins, which you can use to purchase things like rare items, treasures, and vacations!"
Meloetta:" Oh wow! This is great! What can I get with 100 Legend Coins?"
Arceus: ". . . . . .ask me again when you have at least 1,000."
Meloetta: ". . . . . ."
Anyway, back to the story, Latias being a receptionist and reading a magazine is funny enough. . .I wonder what magazine she was reading? Anyway, Mewtwo is not happy.
"Don't you put me through this nonsense, Latias!" He slammed the receptionist desk again. Latias wondered if the pounding was really necessary. "You know perfectly well why I'm here! I don't have time for your games!"
Latias glanced over at the clock mounted on the wall. Her shift would end in half an hour. Maybe if she stalled long enough she could dump Mewtwo on Regice. He was probably going to be late again though, as always.
He's always too busy prank calling people, I suppose.
Her gaze shifted slightly left to a colorful poster with a Pikachu dangling from a tree. 'Hang in there!' it read. Sweet Arceus, she'd have to try her hardest.
Okay, is this in the Hall of Origin or some place? Because it looks like a normal office building, yet it's run by Pokemon, what?
"I'm sorry sir," she continued in a saccharine- yet monotone- voice. "I'm afraid I don't have any clue what you're talking about. If you have problems that need resolving, I'd suggest calling our toll free customer assistance hotline at-"
Mewtwo's eyes began to blaze. "I DID call, and they gave me the same run-around as you! That was of course after I was put on hold for three hours!"
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
(Keldeo smiled and shrugged his shoulders)
Latias let out another sigh. This was going to be a long thirty minutes. "Then how can I help you?"
"You already know, damn it!" Objects behind him starting floating threateningly in the air, old copies of Pokémon Geographic and Pokesports Illustrated whirling around at a mildly alarming rate.
I just adore the attention to detail the author puts in this. This is not just some cheap troll fic, this is a good quality story that's well written and hilarious! But I still wanna know what magazine Latias was reading.
He narrowed his eyes and hissed, "There's a second Mewtwo."
BAAM-BAAM-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
Deerling turned around dramatically
(Keldeo smiled and back-flipped out of joy)
I wanna give a big shout out to ThePikaWu on Youtube for uploading Dramatic Pokemon Deerling (Dramatic Gopher Spoof). I've been waiting and waiting for a Pokemon version of the Dramatic Gopher, and now it's finally here! Thank you ThePikaWu! Thank you so very much!
(Keldeo sighed and stood with a big smile on his face, apparently staring off into space)
. . . .Hmm? Oh, right, the story.
So Latias reacts to this shocking discovery accordingly.
"Oh goodness," Latias rolled her eyes. "The end of the world is upon us. Pray tell, sir, what problem is there that we can assist with? As you know, whenever a Pokémon applies for the status of legendary they must be a member of a unique, rare species as well as meet a minimum base stat requirement. The new Mewtwo meets both of these requirements."
Latias, of course, passed the test with flying colors. She still remembered a few generations back when she was a young legendary, fresh out of the design room. She'd been so naive at the time… Little did many Pokémon and people know that there was a very formal process to becoming a legendary. Besides having a minimum base stat total of 600 as well as being a member of an exclusive Pokémon species, Pokémon had to register with the LRCB. They would then divvy up legendary privileges such as version mascot, private ominous empty room for you to wait in, high capture rates, movie appearances, anime cameos, and more. Some of the lucky ones (herself included) even received signature moves, items, and even were provided a license allowing free roaming in restricted airspace.
Wow! The more ya know!
Latias could feel specks of saliva hit her face as Mewtwo roared with rage. "There can only be one Mewtwo! I deserve respect, especially from some random third generation legend like you! I AM the original legend!"
"Hey!" Mewtwo and Latias turned towards the Articuno that was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, its Kindle Fire held in one wing. "Screw you, asshole!"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
(Keldeo stopped and though for a moment, the he nodded)
You now, he's right. Mewtwo is being an asshole.
Confused Matthew: "I mean, he doesn't listen to anyone, he's not very nice, he treats everyone around him like XXXX, and he only cares about himself."
Mewtwo, much to Latias' annoyance, refused to lose momentum as he continued ranting. "I'm the classic legendary! Did you see my first movie?! I had a movie you know!"
Phoenix Wright: "HOLD IT!"
"We've all had movies, sir."
"Yes, but I'm the only one with a movie people liked! What were you in, some crap about rangers?!"
Well your movie got torn apart by the Nostalgia Critic, so there!
Mewtwo massaged the bridge of his nose before recomposing himself. He'd seemed to calm down a bit, much to Latias' relief. "Alright, look… I'm sorry if I'm being a bit testy, I'm sure you can understand that I'm just very… upset about the whole matter. I'm a legendary Pokémon. Do you know what that means? I'm supposed to be rare. Unique. There is no other besides me. There can BE no other besides me. Understood?"
"Aren't you a clone?"
Mewtwo shot Latias an intense glare. "That doesn't count."
"Why not?" Latias shot back. "Between you and me, I've heard that some legendaries have been saying that you shouldn't be a legendary at all. You're just a copy of Mew. The only reason you became a legendary Pokémon was because there was barely anyone working in the LRCB back in the first generation and you managed to slip through the cracks. And don't even get me started on those rumors flying around about dittos and failed cloning..."
(Keldeo held his hooves out in shock)
Whoa! Calm yourself down Latias! You're getting into some real touchy territory!
(Keldeo shuddered)
Ugh! Dittos. They remind me of that MLP comic with me and Rarity-
(Keldeo suddenly froze and chuckled)
Um, never mind. Moving along. Nothing to see here.
"That isn't proven!"
Latias smirked. "As far as I can tell, there's absolutely no reason why someone shouldn't be able to make a copy of you whenever they wanted to. Just get a little DNA, an ominous laboratory, and 'pop'! Out comes another Pokémon who wants to murder every living being on the planet."
FATALITY!
Unfortunately, this seems to only make Mewtwo angrier.
"Enough!" Mewtwo slammed another fist against the desk. Latias couldn't help but wonder if Mewtwo knew that didn't intimidate her at all. "This new Mewtwo could ruin the entire integrity of what it means to be legendary! If you let that copy come in here and sign up as a legendary Pokémon the word 'legendary' loses all meaning! When people look at me I want them to think, 'Wow, I just saw the most powerful psychic Pokémon in existence! He's the only one in the universe and I saw him!' Now they'll just say, 'Oh, look, it's another Mewtwo. I see those things all over the place! Whoops, just stepped on one now!'"
(Keldeo snorted with laughter)
"Oh boy…" Latias had had this argument plenty of times before. She'd been in Mewtwo's shoes at one point as well, so she couldn't totally blame him for giving her a hard time. "Look, I know what you're going through. It's a condition we at the LRCB refer to as 'multiples shock'. If you want, I can provide you with an informational pamphlet to help you cope with-"
Mewtwo grabbed the pamphlet she held out to him and took an enraged bite out of it, then tore the rest of it to shreds. "I don't need your help or your pamphlets!" He spat out a wad of paper. "Just let me talk to someone who actually knows what I'm talking about!"
(Keldeo EXPLODED with laughed and fell flat on his back. He roared with laughter as rolled around in the shallow water. Tears of laughter flowed out from his eyes as he went on and on, laughing and laughing until he started to cough. Keldeo was soon out of breath and laid on his back in near exhaustion.)
Oh my gosh. . .I mean. . .oh my gosh! I mean, Mewtwo just went total and complete Nicholas Cage on Latias! Heck, I think Mewtwo surpassed Nicholas Cage! I mean, look at what he does!
Mewtwo grabbed the pamphlet she held out to him and took an enraged bite out of it, then tore the rest of it to shreds. "I don't need your help or your pamphlets!" He spat out a wad of paper. "Just let me talk to someone who actually knows what I'm talking about!"
I mean, really! Did he turn into Maximus the horse from Tangled just then?
Maximus pulled the wanted poster of Flynn Rider off the tree with his mouth, and shredded it to bits with his teeth with an angered expression on his face.
I wish I had some jokes for this scene but. . .the scene already way too funny! This is the funniest scene in a Pokemon fanfiction ever! Give the author a round of applause everybody, incredible!
A huge crowd of people appeared and burst out in applause and cheering. Balloons were released up into the air and fireworks went off in the sky. People were jumping for joy all over and waving flags. Keldeo spun around and around as everyone cheered for the funniest moment ever.
Whew! Awesome. . .
Well, okay, after that scene, Latias decides that she's had enough, and proceeds to tell Mewtwo off.
Latias had had enough. She had to skip lunch today for a doctor's appointment, she was starving, this job didn't pay nearly enough,
Why would a Legendary Pokemon need money?
and she'd be damned if she let this self-entitled Pokémon talk to her like that. She leaned across the desk, looking Mewtwo straight in the eye. "Alright, punk, you think you're so special?! Let me tell you, you're not the only one to learn he's not the only one of his kind around! You know Darkrai?! You think he came crying to Arceus when he learned that not only was there another 'Ultimate Master of Nightmares' in existence, but it'd been caught by some random trainer could whoop Ash's ass?!"
(Keldeo frowned and said darkly)
The less said about Tobias, the better.
"Well I-"
Latias grabbed Mewtwo's shoulders and started shaking him. And sweet Arceus, did it feel good to unleash her rage on this pompous asshole. "I LEARNED THERE WAS ANOTHER ME, AND THAT SHE WAS CAPTURED BY A NURSE JOY! DO YOU KNOW HOW PATHETIC I FELT?! WHAT POKÉMON GETS CAPTURED BY A NURSE JOY!?"
You know that is kinda pathetic.
(There was suddenly the sound of hundreds of Nurse Joys, Audinos, and Cahnseys yelling BOO!)
Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Really!
Well, it appears that Latias is going to have the last laugh, because. . . .
Latias' mouth twisted into a sinister grin. "Oh, Arceus is out today. Our vice-president would absolutely love to speak to you, however…"
Mewtwo let out a groan. "You don't mean…?"
Latias carefully pressed a button that was far too small on her desk before speaking into the intercom. "Excuse me, sir? There's someone here to see you."
"Excellent," a malicious voice replied, cackling madly.
"Wait, I can come back later!" Mewtwo pleaded. "I can-" But before he could finish he was engulfed in a shadowy ball of psychic energy and disappeared.
Well, it looks like Mewtwo's dead.
I wonder what Articuno's here for?
"Next!" Articuno marched up to the receptionist desk. "How can I help you, sir?"
"Yeah, I'd like to file a complaint with the Exclusive Move department."
"Oh? What seems to be the problem?"
"There was a perfect opportunity to give me the move Freeze dry as a signature move! But no, that stupid dinosaur, a snowflake and an ice cream cone got the move too! What the hell?!"
"Well, sir, not every Pokémon gets a signature move..."
"Bullshit, all the legendaries past the 1st generation got a cool, signature move! REGULAR 1st generation Pokémon got a signature move! Arceus-damn MOLTRES got a signature move, and he always rubs it in my face!
"Technically, sir, that move isn't exclusive anymore-"
"Hell, the attack freeze dry was on my original card from the TCG! That was thirteen years ago! I INVENTED that move! I demand EXCLUSIVE rights!"
Latias looked back at the clock. Twenty four minutes to go.
Okay, maybe Latias doesn't get the last laugh. Oh well, let's see how Mewtwo's doing.
When his vision swam back into focus Mewtwo found himself in a very posh office. Paintings of the creation of the universe lined the walls, a large fireplace burned behind him, and a big mahogany desk sat in front of him. The chair behind the desk was enormous, large enough to support a god. It was currently turned away from him, and a menacing voice emanated from whomever was sitting in it. "Foolish mortal, what problem could you possibly have that requires my attention? Answer, lest ye be punished with fire and brimstone!"
Mewtwo sighed. He should've tried calling customer service again. "You're not fooling anyone, you know."
How true. How very true, Mewtwo. Who else would be the Vice President other than the Pokemon who used to be the First Pokemon before Arceus was known.
Drum roll please.
(A drum roll kicked up)
The gigantic chair spun around, only to reveal a small, pinkish, cat-like creature resting in the center.
(The drum roll stopped)
And no one was caught by surprise. Although, I gotta say Arceus has a really nice office, I'm surprised Arceus lets Mew come into it. . .or does he?
He gave Mewtwo a huge smile. "That's okay; I can't give you a big hug from behind there anyway!"
"A big-?"
Before Mewtwo could react, the little bundle of excitement known as Mew leapt on him, giving him a squeeze that practically crushed Mewtwo's ribcage. "How ya doin', bruddah?!" He let go of Mewtwo who immediately started gasping for air. "Wazzup?! What can the almighty master of all things legendary do for you today?!"
"Well-"
"Shhh!" Mew held a single arm-paw-thing up to Mewtwo's mouth, silencing him. "Lemme guess… I AM psychic after all!" Mew closed his eye, face scrunching up in concentration. "I see… I see… A Mewtwo… But not just ANY Mewtwo!" Mew did a loop in the air dramatically. "Another Mewtwo! And you…" He opened his eyes and gave Mewtwo a big grin. "Are J-E-A-L-O-U-S-Y, jealous!"
(Keldeo though for a moment, and the he came to a conclusion)
You know, it's alright that I wasn't able to get Fluttershy. We already have Pinkie Pie right here! Or . . .Cheese Sandwich. . . Weird Al Pony. . . I guess?
"What?!" Mewtwo recoiled as though struck by an X-Scissors. "I'm not jealous!"
"Oh, I hit a tender spot right there!" Mew giggled. "I think you're jealous cause this new lady is stealing your spotlight! She be livin' with yo legendz credz!"
"... What?"
"I mean," Mew floated over and leaned on Mewtwo's shoulder. "You're upset because you were THE Mewtwo, now you're A Mewtwo. And trust me, bruddah, I know them feels! There was, like, another Mew made for this one movie, and he got this sweet tree to live in! Why don't I get a sweet tree?!"
"Hm," Mewtwo grumbled, "Then you know why I wish so badly to make sure she isn't allowed to register as an official legendary. It makes me feel less… Unique. Special. You know what I mean…"
"I know, it's crazy! I mean, how can there be two Pokémon who were the original Pokémon?! That other Mew is just whack!"
(Keldeo had to hold back laughter)
Alright, why is Mew talking like a rapper? This scene gives a whole new meaning to M & M.
Here, kitty-kitty! Meow-meow, cat, meow!
Mew Power in the HOUSE!
That was Mew Power in the House, everyone! Look for it in. . .your nightmares. . .
Mewtwo's eyes lit up with hope. "So… You'll help me? You'll make sure this new 'Mewtwo' won't get in?"
Mew let out a giggle. "Silly bro, of COURSE I'm going to let her join!"
"What?!" Mewtwo growled as the air around him startled to ripple with powerful psychic forces. "I thought you 'know them feels'!"
Alright, everyone reading this. Pay close attention. Whatever you do, never have Mewtwo say anything like that again. EVER.
Mew shrugged. "Just because you may not like it doesn't mean we'll reject her. You're well aware that you're not the only one to have additional members of his or her species added to the Pokémon universe. I know you're the original awesome legendary, and you're my bro, but Arceus doesn't make exceptions, and neither do the higher-ups at Game Freak." Mewtwo gave a threatening growl causing Mew to float back a bit. "It doesn't mean you're any less special! There's still only, like, two of you! That's still rare, right?"
Well Mewtwo still isn't satisfied, so Mew tries to pull something out of what I'm pretty sure must have been complete desperation.
"But, y'know, now that there's a female..." Mew gave Mewtwo a big wink. "You know…"
Mewtwo tapped his foot impatiently. "Know what?"
"You KNOW…" Mew followed up with a sly smile. "You can take a roll in the hay?"
The psychic cat raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"
"Get your mojo flowing? Put all her eggs in your basket? Do a-"
Peppy Hare: "-barrel roll!"
Mewtwo hastily motioned for him to stop, a fierce blush on his face. "Okay, okay, I get it… I don't know what that last one meant, but I get it… Goodness, you're foul." Mewtwo shook his head as though that would get rid of any image that crept inside. "I don't care about that.
"I'm already in a relationship with Zena anyway! And I pretty much burned all bridges with Mewtwo Girl when I punched her in the face."
Look, I've been 'surfing' the web, and all my fans agree that there's no reason to create a new Mewtwo.
Wow, this guy is incredible. He's so arrogant that he looks on line to see what his adoring fans think of him. Wow. Who does that?
(Keldeo raised a hoof, but quickly slapped it down with his other hoof.)
I'm a being of nostalgia!
The Nostalgia Critic hated your movie!
People want to see ME, not some prissy, female Mewtwo who came out of nowhere-"
Phoenix Wright: "HOLD IT!"
"Ha! Right there, you just admitted you're jealous! You want to be in that new movie instead of her!"
That's right! The whole problem was that Mewtwo wanted to be in Genesect and the Legend Awakened. What. A. Ham.
And now, it's time to play Mew: Ace Attorney- Danger Edition! In this game, Mew has to break down Mewtwo with evidence while dodging Shadow Balls!
(The music that plays after a testimony contradiction is found in Ace Attorney starts to play.)
"You even hinted at it before! You just don't want to share the spotlight with her!"
"ALRIGHT!" Mew ducked as a shadow ball flew by him. "Fine, I admit it! I deserve the attention, not her! And I think every Pokémon fan agrees with me!"
"HOLD IT!"
"But think of the possibilities! The fanfic writers have a new character to play with! A possible love interest! Scratch that, a DEFINITE love interest!"
"OBJECTION!"
"I don't care!" Another shadow ball, another near miss.
"OBJECTION!"
"You couldn't even play the part in the movie anyway! The antagonist has to learn to be friends with human and you've already done that! Twice!"
"HOLD IT!"
"They can rewrite the script!" The shadow ball nicked Mew this time.
"OBJECTION!"
"The guy who voiced you isn't even alive anymore! That would be like making a sequel to the Dark Knight without Heath Ledger!"
"HOLD IT!"
"Well, um…" Mewtwo faltered. "Wait; is my original Japanese voice actor still alive?"
"Uh, yes, I think so."
Mewtwo roared, "Then that argument doesn't make sense! They'd just get a similar sounding voice-actor for the English dub!" This shadow ball finally connected, knocking Mew to the ground with a loud crash. Mewtwo towered over him, another shadow ball at the ready. "Well? Are you ready to refute this new 'Mewtwo's' application? Or at least call her Mewthree and call it a day?"
So, apparently, if Mew doesn't do something about Mewtwo Girl, then Mewtwo will kill him. Wow, that's kinda dark. Unfortunately for Mewtwo. . .
Mew teleported them both to another room. "She just registered." He pointed behind Mewtwo, who whirled around.
"There we go, Miss Mewtwo, you're all ready to go." Mewtwo gaped in horror as he watched another Mewtwo sitting across from Victini sign some documents. "Welcome to the legendary team!" The Victini took out a red folder and handed it to her. "In here is a copy of your health benefits along with insurance card.
Wait, Pokemon get Health Insurance? Is that why Pokemon Centers are free? Is that why soda is so expensive?
We have information for the next date of your script reading for the upcoming feature film, a license for residence in Kalos' Unknown Dungeon, and a variety of important papers containing info on your responsibilities, restrictions, and more as a legendary Pokémon. We hope to see you Saturday for the weekly legendary brunch."
"And don't forget to stop by Pokemon Paradise and try out my. . . . . . . . . V-WHEEEEEEEEEEL!"
(Keldeo suddenly became very serious)
And now. . . .they meet!
Cilan: "It's boy meets girl!"
(Keldeo face hoofed)
Aw, come on, Cilan, you ruined the dramatic moment!
She gave him a curt nod and a thank you before turning around. Her eyes widened when she saw the male Mewtwo standing there, but she quickly regained her composure. "Err… Hello. I, uh, wasn't aware you were going to be here."
Mewtwo could feel a burning rage building in his chest. They'd registered her! She was an official legendary! She was going to steal his fame! His popularity! He'd show them! He'll burn this place to the ground! He'll-
MORTAL KOMBAT!
(The Mortal Kombat movie theme played as Keldeo started dancing to it)
"See?" Mew spoke up. "You can get some sweet, sweet, psychic ass now! Booyah!"
(Record scratch)
Both Mewtwo's turned to him and said, "You're absolutely foul." They looked back at each other with a hint of surprise and mild amusement.
(Keldeo smiled)
Ah-ha! Great minds think alike.
So Mewtwo realizes that he can't just go around hating Mewtwo Girl just for existing, and that going on a rampage won't solve anything.
There was truly little he could do now. What could he even do? Yell at his new rival? What crime was she guilty of? Being made? No…
As much as he hated it, perhaps it was best to 'take lemons and make lemonade', as the humans say.
Cave Johnson: "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DARN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE! Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it though it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm gonna get my engineers, to invent a combustible lemon, that burns your house down!"
GLaDOS: "BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!"
Luckily, Mewtwo has never played Portal 2.
But the next words he'd have to choose carefully…
"So… Mewtwo," He rubbed his chin with two fingers. "Do you have an intense, yet rational and perfectly justified hatred for all human beings?"
She took a moment to reply, weighing her answer carefully. "... Yes, but there are some factions which are kind and worthy of my compassion, and don't deserve to be mercilessly destroyed. Humans have a potential to be a blight on this planet and be dangerous to Pokémon, but this applies to only pockets of the population."
"Great," Victini muttered under his breath, "The last thing we needed was two psychos flying around..."
Luckily for Victini Mewtwo hadn't heard that last comment. He was busy thinking about the other Mewtwo's response.
She was smart. Analytical. He liked that. Someone he could actually talk to that was on the same wavelength as him. Perhaps… Perhaps having another Mewtwo wouldn't be so bad after all. "I know a human settlement that keeps Pokémon locked in small cages and forces them to breed to obtain Pokemon with certain psychological traits. Care to join me in its utter annihilation?"
She blinked, as though unsure about what to think of the invitation.
After a moment's consideration, she smiled at him. "Nothing would make me happier."
And that's the end. And wow. Just WOW. This was funny. Very funny. And not only was it funny, it was also an INGENIOUS social commentary on the whole New Mewtwo controversy. All the people who are getting upset about the Mewtwo Girl are just getting carried away, like Mewtwo did in the story. It's not a big deal, and it's not all bad. If we just get to know this new character and see what the creators are planning to do with her, I'm sure we can all get along just fine.
And heck, look at what the guy who wrote this did! He did something constructive by writing this fanfic. It makes you laugh and feel good and everything. Latias was an awesome stressed out receptionist, Mewtwo was his enjoyably angry self, Mew was cute in his own gangsta kinda way, and the side characters were good additions as well. And the attention to detail with the poster, the magazines, the pictures, the office, and the perks that Mewtwo Girl got after registration; were just so flawless and well done! Just perfect for comedy. That's what this story is. The perfect comedy with a little bit of fan satire thrown in.
Huh. Maybe someone ought to write a comedy fanfic about the Sonic BOOM redesign. . .
Oh well.
I'm Keldeo the Critic and. . . oh, I have a weekly Legendary Brunch to get to!
All of the Legendary Pokemon were socializing in a ballroom. Everyone was eating, conversing, and laughing in their own groups they broke up into.
". . . And then Cameron and Jessica get back together again," Kyurem finished saying to Arceus.
Arceus nodded thoughtfully, "Hmmm. . .that's quite the happy ending for a Creepypasta."
Genesect folded his arms and said quietly, "Huh. Darkrai and I nearly lived through a Creepypasta thanks to Zal-"
"SHH!" Darkrai shushed Genesect quickly.
Meanwhile; Keldeo, Meloetta, and the other Swords of Justice were all sitting together and having a conversation.
"Was I really that good in the Season 2 Premiere, Kelde?" Meloetta asked excitedly.
Keldeo nodded, "You sure were, Meloetta. You were the big hero who saves us all at the end, after all!"
Meloetta smiled and tapped his snout, "Only after you rescued me, my hero."
Terrakion nodded gravely, "Grrr. That Hunter J. What a piece of work!"
Keldeo lowered his head down to the plate of pancakes in front of him. After eating a mouthful of syrupy pancakes, Keldeo licked his lips and smiled, "Ahhh. . .I love pancakes." Keldeo suddenly froze as his eyes caught something.
"Keldeo?" Virizion asked, noticing his frozen expression. She followed his gaze, as did everyone else, and they all saw Mew, Mewtwo, Mewtwo Girl, and Zena talking with one another on the far side of the room. They watched as Mewtwo and Mewtwo Girl spoke calmly to one another, and then eventually shake paws. Mewtwo Girl then turned to Zena, they spoke with one another, and then the two girls hugged each other while wearing smiles on their faces.
Meloetta and Keldeo's jaws dropped.
Mew then laughed happily and flew over to each of the three Mewtwos, stopping to give each of them a big hug. Mewtwo groaned and clearly looked annoyed as Mew squeezed him, earning a chuckle out of Zena.
Meloetta closed her mouth, and she reached over to close Keldeo's mouth.
"I guess they decided to make up and be friends," Meloetta said.
Keldeo stared in silence for a moment, then he smiled and nodded, "Well. . .how about that. . ."
Meanwhile, back with the Psychic cats, the four of them continued their conversation.
"I suppose I deserved a good smacking with how heartlessly cruel I was to you, Zena," Mewtwo Girl said.
Zena smiled and waved a paw nonchalantly, "Oh, don't worry about it. The past is past. Let's just learn from it and move on."
"And perhaps I was out of line, reacting with violence right away like I did," Mewtwo said seriously.
"You were defending your loved one's honor. It's understandable," Mewtwo Girl said with a soft smile. But her smile vanished when she looked up at Mew, "But I think rewinding time 10 times was a little. . .excessive. . ."
Mew chuckled and blushed a bit. He looked around nervously, then he gasped and said, "Oh hey! It's Celebi and Victini!" Mew then teleported off.
Zena just had to chuckled.
Mewtwo Girl then turned to Mewtwo and said, "Um. . .Mewtwo. . .you were once a reviewer, right? The Angry Rated M Clone?"
"Retired," Mewtwo remarked grumpily.
Mewtwo Girl nodded, "Yes, yes, you're retired. . .yes. . .so. . . I was thinking. . .maybe. . .I. . ."
The End
Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice
Credits
Nostalgia Critic- Ghost Rider
Nostalgia Critic- Pokemon the First Movie
Mortal Kombat the Movie
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- "Pinkie Pride"
The Angry Video Game Nerd- Cinnemassacre
Club Nintendo
Sonic BOOM
Portal 2
Kyurem the Critic- Jessica by Mr. Grool
The Angry Bug Show
The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.
She's gonna take you back to the past with "My Furry Lover" by Kozumikkukage