I curled up in a ball on the ground, holding my knees with my arms and begged Edward to kill me.

Chapter 37:

I don't know how long I sat there. Edward was rubbing small circles in my back but I wouldn't move, I couldn't move. I knew he was saying words, but none of them sunk in, it was just sound buzzing in my ears.

I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn't hear him approach. I don't know if Edward tried to warn me, if he did it didn't register.

"Get away from her!" I heard a voice scream and I zoomed back in to focus. Sam Jr. was standing twenty feet from me and making a face I had never seen before. A horrible face, one that was full of hate.

"Sam?" I said confused.

"I said get away from her!" he screamed at Edward.

"Sam why are you yelling at Edward?" I wondered nervously.

"He thinks I attacked you back in the clearing," Edward informed to me at vampire speed.

"I'll kill you if you don't move now!" Sam Jr. yelled and I stood up slowly and walked towards him at slower than human speed. Edward didn't move from the spot where we had been sitting.

"Sam it's ok, I am the one you should be mad at," I said trying to calm him down.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked when I finally made it over to him.

"Edward wouldn't hurt me. He was helping me." I said confused by his look still. "Sam what are you doing?"

"I am going to become a wolf and kill him," he said with so much anger in his voice that I got scared.

"Sam stop, you don't want to phase if you don't have to. Edward was protecting both of us. Please relax and I will explain."

He didn't relax, but his face stopped contorting. He glared at Edward.

"I am sorry Sam, but I have to leave. I thought I was different but I'm not, I can't be around you anymore."

"Why, cause of him?" he said pointing at Edward and making a face again.

"No. Because of me, what I am." I said sadly.

"You're my godmother, how has that changed." Sam Jr. asked.

"I am a vampire. I need blood to survive, and today I almost attacked you."

"If you need blood all you have to do is ask. And you didn't attack me." He said very matter of factly.

"Never say that again." I screamed. "Your blood is sacred and I almost drank it." I said shamefully.

"But you didn't. Grandpa Black always says the crime is not in thought, it is in the action. We all think of bad things, only terrible people do them."

Errr. "Sam maybe I am not saying this right," I said frustrated. "I am a horrible animal and I almost killed the human I love the most."

"But you didn't. And you wouldn't. I know that in my heart." He said staring me in the eyes.

"I don't have a heart," I said wishing I could cry.

"Technically that is not true," said Edward carefully. "Your heart may not beat, but it is full of more love than I thought possible. Bella you saved everyone's life today. Your gift comes from your love. Don't you see that?"

"What did she do?" asked Sam suddenly less angry.

"She protected everyone, she stood up for good. She was a hero." Edward said walking slowly towards us.

"I always knew she was. She used to call me her little hero but I always thought it was backwards. Some of the happiest times of my life are when she has been around. She always made me feel special, like I could do anything."

"You can," I mumbled.

"Bella please," pleaded Edward. "You had no idea how your power worked, that it would drain you like that. If you had you never would have let yourself get so hungry."

"No," I screamed and turned away.

"Aunty Bella, don't leave…" said Sam with a voice so tender I almost burst.

"I'm horrible," I said as I started to walk off. I would run as soon as he couldn't see me and never stop until…

"Wait!," Sam Jr. shouted. I paused. He choose his words carefully when he spoke. "When I was five you told me you loved me. And I asked if there was anything I could do to make you stop loving me, you know, a stupid kid question. But you told me no, you would never stop loving me. Your love was unconditional no matter what I did or said. You said when you agreed to be my godmother you made a deal to love me forever. Well doesn't that work both ways? Can't I love you no matter what you think you are?"

"No," I said through dry sobs.

"Bella my love," said Edward. "Leaving is not always the best solution. I know that better than anyone…"

"Shut up, Edward," I said but I ran to his side and grabbed his hand. He smiled down at me.

It was quiet for a few minutes as I held Edward tight. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to hug him again.

Sam broke the silence. "Aunty Bella," said Sam sheepishly. "I made you this," he reached in his pocket and pulled what looked like a necklace. I didn't take it. He held in front of my face so I could see it. "Uncle Jake helped me, but I did most of it myself. One side has a wolf, the other a bat. I know you don't turn into one but it seemed like the right thing. I have one just like it. Only you and me have them. I made it as your wedding gift. I have been working on it my room."

I looked at his hand and the pendant dangling down from it. I wished I could cry. Not sad cry, happy cry. I hugged him so hard that he said it hurt and I suddenly knew what Emmet felt like when he hugged me when I was human.

"Why were you in the woods alone?" I asked as I reached for the necklace.

"I finished the necklace and went down to show Dad, but Mom told me he and the pack had to deal with something. I got really mad, he should have told me, I could have helped. So I ran out of the house to find everyone."

"Never ever do something like that again," I scolded him like he was four. "You could have been hurt."

"Please, my godmother is a vampire and my dad is a wolf, who's gonna mess with me?" he said grinning.

"Never ever again," I said as I held in my arms, hugging him as tight as I could without hurting him. "Promise you won't do that again," I begged.

"I can't do that. I am a proud Quilette and I will fight for my people."

"No, let me fight, you stay home safe. That's what vampire godmothers do. They protect the people they love. Never ever do that again."

Sam was quiet for a second and I let him go. "I think I get it…" he mumbled.

"Good, let me fight," I said thinking he agreed with me.

"It finally makes some sense to me," he said looking at Edward and I was confused. "I never understood how you could leave my Aunt," he said to Edward. "Now I do. When I was trying to find you two I realized I could die, but I didn't care. I would do anything for my family. I get it now, you cared so much you would sacrifice everything for her. That's the way I feel."

"Never again," I mumbled as I dry sobbed into Edward's chest. "Please." I wasn't sure if I was talking to Sam or Edward when I said it.