A/N: This is a . . . transitory chapter. It shows the changes in their relationship with the engagement and a lot of fluff which is good for everyone, I think. Things start to change in the next chapter, in more than one way but some things need to happen/be shown first.

I've had some reviews/PMs expressing the pace of the story - just so y'all know, it's going to be a long one. I promise not to drag it out for the sake of it, but it's turning out pretty long. Things are already all planned out, mostly written out and everything is in order. The Volturi aren't just an excuse to get Jake and Nessie away from home and will come in later, but Nessie won't know things she's not involved in/told about because I don't switch POVs. Jacob, of course, will be told/know a lot more.

Oh - and I got my first flame! Cool, right? I feel like it's a right of passage - like I'm a real writer now. Now, I don't mind constructive criticism - like it actually - but being condescending is just not cool. No fly, Ms. Barbie. Anyway, there's that.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Hilary Duff songs or Twilight. But you know what would be cool, though? If I did. But I don't. :(

Dedication: This chapter is going out to ceci9293 because seriously, y'all, this girl is going through Hands on Me and Undeniable and leaving detailed reviews for each chapter. Seriously. So to sum up, she rocks.

In Which Jake Does Not Fling Dollar Bills

don't ever ask me for reasons i can't give to you
don't ever ask me for reasons why i live for you
i just do

- hilary duff, love just is

-

The next few days were kind of like floating on a cloud. Even more so than when I found out Jake loved me and kissed me for the first time or any of that. Jake wanted to marry me. Marry me.

He loved me and wanted me to belong to him and wanted me to be his wife and that just solidified all of it.

We talked a lot more over the next few days, conversations that were sometimes awkward but always worth it. The physical stuff, we toned down. I did, really, more than Jacob and I was proud of myself. I stopped putting myself in situations that would help get me so frustrated. I was an engaged woman and I had to learn to be responsible – I felt extremely grown up.

I made the habit of randomly asking Jake questions, things that popped into my mind that I usually ignored but now felt it was important to ask. If we were going to be married, after all, I couldn't be shy from him.

"What's your perfect life?" I asked him one night as we watched TV. Actually watched TV. An episode of COPS, of course. "If everything could be exactly the way you wanted it to be?"

"Anything with you in it, Ness," Jacob said, which was to be expected. "Anything where you're with me and happy."

"Yeah, okay, I know that," I told him, pushing off his chest a little to look back at him. "Me too. But you have me, forever, and I'm ridiculously happy. So from now, the future, if you could have anything you wanted, exactly how you wanted, what would it be?"

"All this stuff would be over with," Jacob said, after he had taken a moment to think. His warm fingers were winding themselves through my hair. "You would be safe and we would be married. And . . . I don't know, just . . . together. Maybe – later, in the future . . . "

He trailed off and I guessed at what he meant. "Do you want kids, Jacob?"

His face flushed pink. "Only if you do."

I took a second to study his face, to think about his words a few seconds ago. "That's not true."

"I – I mean I guess I do," Jake stuttered, his face going a little darker. I knew he did. My mind swam with images of toffee-skinned, dark-eyed children and my heart swelled. "But if . . . if you didn't want . . . that, of course, I wouldn't mind. I just want you, first of all."

"I would love to do that for you, Jacob," I whispered, as I was prone to do when we talked of serious things that made me shy. Jacob's face lit up in that way I can't even begin to explain. My hand found my way to my stomach, pressed down on the place where a baby would grow. "I would love to . . . to grow your baby inside of me."

Jacob's lips swooped down to capture mine, kissing me softly but insistently. His hand found its way to my stomach too, slipping itself under my shirt and pressing his fingers gently into the space just below my naval.

"Nessie, if you ever . . . if we ever did that, it would be our baby, not mine," he whispered against my lips and my stomach twisted in anticipation at the promise I heard in those words, the future. "And you would have it with me, not for me. I wouldn't want a child if it wasn't yours too."

I kissed Jacob again and his fingers brushed up across my naval and I don't know why I remembered then, but I did. The Volturi. And why they wanted me.

To see if I was fertile. Or not.

I had never really wanted a baby - really, consciously wanted one until today but now the thought that I may not be able to have one hurt me worse than I could say. My stomach twisted again, but this time with dread.

"Jacob," I said quietly, and he looked down. His eyes were soft and happy. I didn't want to mention it now, but I knew I had to. "What if I can't have a baby?"

"What do you mean?"

"The . . . " I didn't want to mention the Volturi either, because I knew Jake's reaction to them, but it was inevitable. "They want to see if I'm fertile, if I can even carry a child and . . . and we don't know either. What if – what if I can't?"

Jacob's eyes softened even more, but in a sad, sympathetic kind of way. He pulled me closer and kissed the corner of my mouth so softly I wanted to cry.

"I think you can, Nessie," he whispered into my ear. "There's nothing to say you can't. And if it turns out that you . . . can't, well, I don't mind. I just want you."

I wasn't sure I believed him, but I let his words soothe me anyway and let the subject drop. I didn't want to inflict anymore pain on Jake before it was absolutely necessary.

Our schedule pretty much stayed the same: Get up, shower, eat (junk food had recently been replaced with copious amounts of fruit, of course), drive, stop, get a hotel, eat, watch TV, sometimes go out, kiss, sleep. Right now we were in the shower stage. I had gone first, as usual, and was flipping through the channels as I waited for Jacob.

Forensic Files, no. LifeTime movie, no. Mexican soap, no. Regular English soap, hell no. News, no. Half-naked women gyrating, n –

"Wait, wait, leave it!" Jacob's voice called to me through the partially open bathroom door. I cursed his super-sonic werewolf hearing. "And turn it up – I like this song!"

I loved him, so I did. The pounding beat filled the room and I had to admit, it was a little addictive. Once you got past the crude lyrics, the music kind of forced you to dance. Even now I was wriggling in my seat.

I remembered what Jake had said, the night after . . . everything, about rap being good dance music. I studied the women on the screen. Was that how Jake meant? Dance like that? Was that the kind of dancing Jake liked?

I mean, I would never even think about dancing like that in public or in front of anyone really, besides Jacob. Even in front of him, I didn't think I could. But if that was what he liked . . .

I stood and studied my body in the mirror floor-length mirror on the back of the door. I glanced back and forth a few times between the TV screen and my reflection. I tried to imitate how the women moved their hips, rolling mine and shifting my weight from foot to foot. The movement felt suspiciously like the way I pressed my hips into Jacob's when we were kissing. I blushed.

I studied the video for a few more seconds – none of them were wearing t-shirts and jeans. Not ones that looked anything like mine, anyway. I checked and made sure the shower was still firmly running and Jacob was nowhere in sight before I pulled my t-shirt up above my stomach. I gathered the excess material up in the front and tucked it into my bra, baring my stomach. I tugged my jeans down a little lower on my hips.

I felt ridiculous, but it did help me notice the line of my body better, how it moved. I circled my hips, arching my backside out like one of the dancers but stopped, embarrassed by my silliness, blushing fiercely. I didn't look like them, not even close. But it was a little fun.

I rolled my hips again, watching how my torso shifted, holding my arms up near my neck so they were out of the way. I looked away from the screen then and let the beat guide me – it was fun, dancing in a way that wasn't completely polite or socially acceptable. It was about as close to being bad as I got.

The music pounded just right and I made a snap decision to try a move I'd seen a few seconds ago and dropped down, coming up slowly, my back arched out. I had to admit, I looked a lot closer to knowing what I was doing than before.

But then, because there had to be some karmic balance in the world and I couldn't do anything with out some measure of humiliation, Jacob's face was staring at me in shock through the mirror when I came back up.

I froze.

He was standing at the half-open bathroom door, a towel wrapped around him and held on with one hand, his mouth gaping slightly. I snatched my t-shirt down to cover my stomach and I felt my face catch fire. Yes, literally burst into flames. There was no other excuse for it to be that hot.

The shower was still running. What the hell was he doing getting out of the shower and leaving it running? Who did that?

"Nessie – what – "

"I was just . . ." I cast around for something that would make this situation less humiliating for me, but found nothing. "You said – good dance music, so I just – thought I'd – sorry."

"Sorry?"

Yeah, it didn't really make sense to be saying sorry. I was just really embarrassed. I was waiting for Jacob to burst out into laughter, but he hadn't yet. It was probably consideration for my feelings that allowed him to hold it off for this long.

"Just – just let me put my clothes on really fast, all right?" Jake said, already backing back into the bathroom. "One second, Ness."

He was back in about fifteen. I heard the water cut off and he came out a second later in only his blue jeans. Maybe it's just me, but I thought the word clothes implied the plural.

"Just don't laugh, okay?" I asked, my voice cracking a little. "I know I'm not any good, I just thought I'd try – "

"Nessie, that was so hot."

The words brought a flash of pleasure as they did every time he used them, but also a shock of surprise. I wasn't sure I believed him.

"What?"

Jacob took a few more steps until he was standing just in front of me. The music stopped, and a commercial came on, much louder than the music had been.

"You looked – so good," he said, turning a little pink himself, which made me feel better. "I mean, I didn't know you could - "

"I've never done it before," I confessed, taking small step forward. We were almost touching. "I just remembered what you said about it being good dance music, so I figured this must be the kind of dancing you like . . . so I thought I'd try it."

"Can I kiss you?" Jacob asked abruptly, and I was a little taken aback. He hadn't asked in weeks.

"Of course you – " The rest of my sentence was drowned out by Jacob's lips, pressing insistently and persuasively against mine.

"Don't be embarrassed, Nessie," he whispered against my lips when he pulled back. He must have been uncomfortable, having to lean down like that to kiss me. "Please don't – you're so beautiful."

"I just feel stupid," I muttered, already starting to feel better despite myself.

"Don't," Jacob returned, an arm wrapping around my lower waist and pulling me against him. "You'll have to do it again for me sometime."

A jolt that felt entirely too good went through me at the prospect.

"You want me to dance for you?"

"Or with me," Jacob muttered, kissing me lightly again. "You make it sound like I'm going to be flinging dollars bills at you. I just want a chance to see that again."

"How about after I get some practice?" I offered, since I still felt a little hesitant despite his assurance.

"Can I watch practice?" He asked, teasingly.

"Come here, you dumb dog," I muttered back, just as teasingly, and pulled him back down to me.

That day, we got on the road late.

I talked with Jake about my parents too. He assured me they knew about the whole imprinting thing right from the start and they were cool with it. He said he expected we would meet a little natural resistance from my Dad and uncles but not much beyond normal over protectiveness.

I wanted to tell my family about us, but Jake and I couldn't decide on how. We tried to think up code messages to give over the phone that only got more and more ridiculous as we went on and ended up with us collapsed in a laughing fit on the bed. I just didn't want everything to be such a shock to them when we rejoined. I mean, Jacob and I left as best friends and would be coming back as, well . . . future husband-and-wife.

God, I hoped so.

Jacob told me stories about his life before me and even got more comfortable talking about his relationship or lack thereof with my Mom. It still made him uncomfortable; he shifted guiltily in his seat and avoided my eyes when he told me about how she punched him in the mouth after the first time he kissed her.

"Poor Mom," I teased, kissing the tip of his nose playfully in an attempt to make him feel better. "She probably hurt her hand on your hard werewolf head."

"She broke it," he muttered back, still avoiding my eyes.

"It was your first kiss?" I asked, and he nodded. Again, guiltily. "Was it your best kiss?"

"No way in hell."

I couldn't help but smile at my Jacob. I loved him so much. And since I liked asking him questions, I asked, "Which was?"

I think he realized what I was playing at now, because he seemed to get a little more comfortable. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer.

"Hmm," he said, and I didn't know if he was actually thinking about it or just pretending to. "I think . . . the one right before . . . Billy's funeral. You remember it?"

I did. It was one of the few times I'd called him 'my Jacob' out loud. He looked so lost and sad and I didn't know what to do. I nodded.

"That was the best, I think," Jacob said, leaning down and nuzzling my neck. "You made me feel so safe."

"Me?" I asked, a little taken aback. "I made you feel safe?"

"Why does that surprise you?" He asked, and I shuddered at the feeling of his lips brushing my neck.

"I'm a half-vampire, Jacob, but I'm not as strong as you," I explained, threading my fingers into his hair and pulling him closer. "Or as fast. I can't protect you from anything."

"Nessie, I'm a werewolf." Another kiss landed on my neck. "I don't need physical protection."

"What do you mean then?"

"I mean, my dad had just . . . died and I was about to go and face his funeral. I didn't even get to say goodbye – I felt so guilty," Jake admitted into my neck. "And then you – you said 'don't be scared, my Jacob'. That's what you said, your exact words. And that's when I realized I had been afraid. But you made me feel better."

"What else am I good for if I can't make you feel better?"

Jacob dragged his lips slowly up my neck and over my jaw, along the side of my face until they brushed mine. My heart sped up.

"I can't think of a few things," Jacob said, and then his breath hesitated as he prepared for speech. "I have absolutely no idea how I ever loved anybody besides you."

"Fate, remember?" I prodded, my insides still tingling from his words and the look in his eyes when he said it.

"That must be it."

"Jacob?" I asked. I remembered something I'd been wanting to ask. "How long have you loved me?"

"Forever," he answered immediately. "Every second of your life, from the very first day."

"No," I said, sidling myself a little closer. I leaned back so my back was against the bed so Jacob had to lay a little on top of me to be close. "How long have you loved me . . . like this? Like you do now?"

"The love never changed," Jacob said, after a second to think. "How long have I . . . wanted you, you mean?"

"Yeah."

His answer shocked me.

"About a year and a half."

"A year?" I didn't believe it. I couldn't. "You loved me like this for a whole year?"

Jacob's wide eyes looked down at me. "More than."

"Wh – how?" I managed weakly. "How did you even – deal with it? How did you keep my dad from finding out? How – how – "

"One at a time, Ness," Jake half-chuckled. He kissed the corner of my lips. "I'm not really sure how I dealt with it, but the fact that I love you more than life probably had something to do with it. And your dad, he – he knew."

"What?"

"Not the full extent of it, of course." Jacob turned a little pink. "He probably would have stopped us hanging out a long time ago if he knew about some of the dreams – but he was really cool about it. It probably had to do with the fact that he saw you had absolutely zero interest in me like that, so he felt comforted."

I was the one who felt guilty now.

"I'm – I'm sorry, Jacob," I said quietly. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I – I don't know why I didn't realize – "

"Na-uh, Ness," Jake cut me off. "Don't even start with that. You were so young – I was even struggling with it myself; I felt so bad for wanting you."

"I always thought you were beautiful," I burst out. "I even told you when I was little, remember?"

"The prettiest boy in the world?" Jacob asked me, a crooked smile dragging down the left half of his mouth. He remembered. "Yeah, I remember. 'Jake, you're so pretty. Prettier than a girl. Your hair is sooooo soft.'"

He finished in a high-pitched voice, mimicking mine when I was younger. I really hoped I hadn't actually sounded like that. I blushed at my childish words. I can't believe I actually said that.

"Well, it's true," I said quietly, trying to work through my embarrassment. It was Jake – get over it. "You are the prettiest boy in the world."

"I feel pret-ty!"

I couldn't held but crack up, my laughter causing our bodies to brush together in a way that was . . . nice.

"Hey, what was our agreement about singing?" I reminded him, pretending to be stern. "You have to warn me first. I have to mentally prepare myself."

"Sorry." Jake struggled to compose his face. "I formally request permission to tune my voice into a rhythmic fashion and recite pre-written lyrics."

"Denied," I announced, winding my fingers even deeper into Jake's hair and scratching his scalp. "I've got better things for you to do with your mouth."

Coming up:

"Is it too much for you?" He asked as his tongue flicked just under my ear. "Or are you just worried about being frustrated when we stop?"

"The - " I paused as Jake's fingernail caught the sensitive tip of my breast and I arched hard against him. What had he asked me? "The last one."

My legs clenched hard around Jacob when he said, "We're not going to stop."

What? I - I thought -

"I thought - I thought you wanted to wait," I panted, my heartbeat becoming even more erratic than it already was. I - I wanted to wait.

Jacob's hand slid to the hollow between my breasts and pressed firmly against my wildly beating heart. I felt his warm breath on my ear and I shivered.

"Relax, Ness," he whispered into my ear, but I couldn't. I couldn't relax - I didn't want to do that now, not that and I didn't think Jake would ever make me tell him twice.