Jack was still dazed when he stepped out of the TARDIS, so it was a big surprise to have Tosh shove a newly born baby into his arms. "Tosh, what the hell are you doing?" he asked.
"I need someone to hold him. The baby just sort of fell out of one of Li'hana's patients."
"'Fell out'?"
"Yeah," Tosh said. "He fell out. Didn't know she was in labor. I should make sure she's not having another one."
"Where's Sam?"
"In your office with puppies." Tosh rushed away and went over to three people that Li'hana had transported from her little ship. One of the women had brown hair with a thin white streak and the other surrogate had long blonde hair. The third was like Li'hana except she was younger and her hair was an odd mix of blonde and red streaks. It somehow seemed natural.
Jack went into his office and found his girlfriend sitting on the floor behind his desk with Crystal's dog and her puppies. "Hey, get those puppies off my chair," he said to her.
She looked at him. "No, I won't move them. You can do it yourself."
"I'm holding a baby."
"You're a big baby. Where did that baby come from?"
"Well, I think it came out of someone, but I'm not sure," Jack joked. "Would you like to find out for me?"
"Don't say that. I have to put up with you every day. You are like a baby. What do you want?"
"Things were a little distracting last night. What with surrogates having babies and all that. There's something I didn't get to tell you about one of the babies Roxanne had."
"What about it?" Sam asked.
"Owen and I were thinking that she…the first baby Roxanne had looked like Ianto, so Owen ran a DNA test. We're pretty sure she's Phoebe." He watched her for a reaction. She didn't look surprised though.
"She is Phoebe. I knew it from the moment I saw her. A mother knows her child, even if she didn't actually give birth to it, she knows her child."
"I think Ianto wants to be friends with you again. There is a baby involved and I would imagine that he wants to know her. I wanted to tell you about this last night, but there were so many distractions. If you don't like the idea, you need to tell me."
"I'm not going to keep Ianto from her. I just don't care if you work with him anymore. It doesn't matter anymore. I think I can be friends with him again."
"Ok, then… Is now a good time to tell you that Ianto's pregnant with my baby?"
Sam glared at him. "You had better not be joking. After what's happened, you owe it to me to get me pregnant. I can have babies again and I plan on putting that ability to good use."
"I'm not joking. Ianto's pregnant."
"The first thing I want to know is when it happened and how long you've known about it."
"It happened when I got back from travelling with the Doctor and I found out about it recently. He's going to have the baby, so that's something you'll have to get used to."
"Ok, as long as you can get used to the fact that I quit my job at the hospital."
"I can get used to that. I'm making it clear right now that I'm not going to try to get you pregnant right away. Things are a little complicated right now. Do you want to work here, since you quit your job for whatever reason?"
"Work here where I can stare at you all day? Sounds good. You're good eye candy."
"Ok. We need help with so many babies around anyway. Do you want to feed him? I think he's hungry," Jack said.
"Ok, I'll feed the baby for you," Sam said, getting up and taking the baby from him.
Ianto opened the door to Jack's office. "Owen doesn't want me to help him anymore. Is there something I can do out here?"
"You can hold that baby while Sam makes a bottle for him," Jack said. He then noticed the Doctor standing behind Ianto, making weird faces. Crystal and Daisy were with him, also making faces. John was sneaking further away from the three people as though afraid one of them was going to attack him. Jack couldn't help but laugh.
Ianto turned and saw the Doctor, Daisy and Crystal making faces outside the window. He went bright red and hurried towards the kitchen.
Sam looked at them and shook her head a little as she followed Ianto. "Goofballs."
"What did she just call me?" the Doctor asked.
"I believe she called the three of you goofballs," Jack said. "You embarrassed Ianto."
"That's what we were aiming at. Luna's had six babies, all girls. Her labor stopped though. Li'hana doesn't expect her to have any more babies today."
"How many babies are going to end up here before I go crazy?" Jack moaned. "I like babies, but eventually, I'll get sick of them being around."
"Oh, I'm sure Mam will be very happy to babysit…" Daisy muttered. "She's obsessed with babies. She keeps expecting me to have one of those puke machines."
"I'll call your mom and tell her she's taking in some babies then."
"Jack, you can't just send babies off to live with someone like that," the Doctor told him.
"I'll send the ones that look human. Some of them."
"Then Minnie and Rocky will come here then…" Daisy began, pouting. "She'll insist on getting rid of my dogs."
"Minnie and Rocky are Saint Bernards!" Jack said. "What do you expect? I'll call Sophie's aunt Marcie too. I think she's been wanting to adopt some babies again."
"I'm naming some of them," the Doctor said quickly. "One of them is of my species."
"Ok, then name some of them. Would you like to take Daisy away with you when you leave so that I don't have to hear the work puke in every other sentence?"
"Maybe. Will I have to take the dogs too?"