"It's for my girlfriend. Well, partner, I suppose. I don't know. Anyway. I'm going to ask her to marry me." She felt better, having finally said it aloud to someone. She felt elated, actually. But Caroline held her breath in anticipation of the shop woman's response. Waiting and daring her to make a false move.
The attendant's face lit up in joyous conspiracy. "Oh how lovely. And it's a surprise?"
Caroline finally allowed herself to smile, and excitement rushed through her. She stopped fidgeting with her scarf, and rested her palms on the case. She studied the glittering assortment inside it, every light positioned for maximum sparkle.
"It is a surprise. Valentine's Day. That's when I'm going to ask her."
"How absolutely perfect!"
Caroline beamed, but wrinkled her nose. "Not too cheesy? Over the top?"
"Not at all. What woman hasn't had a day dream or two about being swept off her feet on Valentine's Day?"
Caroline nodded. It had crossed her mind, in far younger days. She thought about how it would feel to sweep Kate off her feet, like a fairy tale. Thought about Kate's smile when she was pleased by something thoughtful Caroline had done. The disarming honesty in it and the unexpected joy.
"She's changed my life, really." Caroline's realization was abrupt, forced by circumstance and place. She regarded the brunette with gentle intensity.
"And you can't wait to change hers." The young woman smiled.
Caroline looked up in surprise at the sagacity of the 25-year-old woman behind the counter.
She took in Caroline's expression and laughed. "You sound like every other future groom – and bride – who stands at this counter, ma'am."
"Do I?" Caroline nodded, eyes still on the case, searching for the one she'd seen in the brochure.
"Absolutely. Now do you have an idea what you're looking for?"
"I do. Oval cut solitaire, white gold band. Not a thick band. But not delicate."
"Mmmmmm. Yes. Right over here." The girl walked to the next case and unlocked it from the back. Caroline pointed to the one she'd seen in the booklet, had been thinking about non-stop for the last 24 hours.
The girl pulled out the display, handed the ring to Caroline. "Let me guess. She's just a little bit – non-traditional. A little soft, and a little strong?"
Caroline looked up again in surprise, blue eyes merry and sharp. "So you have done this before, haven't you?"
"Yes." Another smile. "How long have you known? That you want to ask her?"
Caroline was caught off guard again; but was strangely loving every second of the whole experience. Her eyes weren't quite focused as she looked at the woman across the counter. "Months, actually. It's been months." Her eyes focused. "Am I at all original, yet?"
"I'm afraid not. Also usually the case."
Caroline looked back down to the ring in her palm, staring at it and transfixed. It was so light. She thought about Kate, and how strange it was to feel so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Was it the right one? Would she like it? Would she even say yes? Of course she would. But it was brand new for Caroline, taking a risk like this. Putting herself so far out on a limb.
But this was Kate. Lovely, wonderful, and ultimately and infinitely patient Kate, who'd made Caroline at ease right from the start of everything. Who'd put up with all of Caroline's shit and loved her through all of it, in the end and made her happier than she'd been in as long as she could remember.
The deal was done. Had been as soon as the woman had placed the ring in Caroline's hand. They exchanged answers to logistical questions. Caroline waited as she retrieved the proper size from the back, placed it in a box after Caroline inspected it, and finally in a luxe bag that would of course have to be hidden quite well for the next two weeks.
'Well when am I going to know the bloody right time? God if I make it too big a thing I'll fumble it, I know I will. But obviously it can't be completely unromantic. But I'm not going to get down on my knee, that's all complete rubbish. I suppose you actually can't lose, with champagne, cheese, and chocolates. How do men do this?'
Caroline stood in the kitchen, staring at the tiny box, flowers, card and chocolate on the counter next to it.
The key turned in the door and Kate rushed in, shaking her umbrella and herself. "It's cats and dogs out there."
"Is it?" Caroline quickly swiped the small box from the counter and palmed it behind her back. No pockets on her bloody skirt. "You're home – early?"
"A bit, yes. Last parent was a no-show. Rather rude, I think, considering the day." Kate scowled and pulled off her coat, and set her umbrella in the stand at the door.
"Beyond rude. Who was it? I'll tack your time on to their tuition bill."
"Not necessary. But thanks for the sentiment."
'She's coming this way. Of course. Shit.' Caroline turned, blocking her arm with her body, and darted into the living room. "Be right there, Kate. Hold on. I do want to welcome you home properly."
"Hope so." Kate grinned at the flowers and the chocolates. She clutched her hands over her full stomach and peered over at Caroline, who seemed to be fluffing the couch cushions. "Everything alright?" Her face was amused and confused.
Caroline looked up with a confident smile. "Perfectly. Now that you're home."
'Now. It's now. This is it. OK. I should have thought this out more thoroughly.' They lay together on the couch, snug and delirious in their own company. Caroline studied Kate and found her courage there.
She dropped her voice, no longer flirting - now shy and serious. "I've got something else for you…."
She reached back behind the couch cushion, flipped open the box and set it on Kate's stomach. The smile that had been plastered to her face all evening widened.
Kate went completely still.
Terrified and elated, Caroline continued on. She felt like laughing. She felt like crying.
"With the baby nearly due and everything. Should – shall – why don't we get married? Properly. Married." Her pitch was higher now and she was stumbling through, drawing out the words and delighting in Kate's surprise. Her excitement beginning to creep in, anticipating Kate's reaction. Most of all anticipating what it would all mean.
Kate began to laugh, not speaking and smiling in disbelief, just sort of nodding.
"What is that?" Caroline laughed as well. She knew the answer of course, could already feel it in Kate's body language and her voice, the pitch of her giggle.
Kate nodded enthusiastically, crying and visibly overcome, and Caroline finally had her real answer. Her anxiety quelled, the most supreme sense of light and joy and relief filling her head to toe.
The ring Caroline had been agonizing over for weeks fell to the floor unnoticed as they reveled together, light, laughing, and happy.
"It never really was about the ring at all, was it?" Caroline cleared her throat. She sniffed, and smiled blithely over to Flora, who looked up at the sudden break and quiet. It never really did seriously cross Caroline's mind that Kate would say no to the proposal. That Kate would ever say no to her - not really. Not after she'd taken her back. The anxiety had been just a little affected.
Caroline held her arms out for a hug. Flora smiled, closed her book and came over. Caroline grabbed her tight and brought her up for a kiss on the cheek and the needed hug. "That was a good day, Flora. For me and for you Mum – and for you."
Flora folded her knees on Caroline's lap and studied her Mum. Pointed at her necklace, a delicate gold pendant in the cutout shape of a daisy, on a thin gold chain. It had been one of Kate's favorite flowers. Caroline had found the box and the necklace far back in a drawer on Kate's side of the bureau when she'd been looking for something else, only days after her passing. A small envelope had lain next to it with 'Caroline' on the front, but nothing written inside on the card yet.
"Yep. From mummy Kate. You can wear it when you're old enough. She'd like that." Caroline glanced down at the matching cuff links she wore, a gift from Eleanor months ago on her birthday.
Flora smiled up, rich brown eyes kind and gentle and inquiring, just like Kate's. It made Caroline glow, no matter what else was happening.
She picked Flora up and set her down. Closed the folder on her desk with all the engagement ring brochures still in it and replaced it in the cabinet. It was time to be done for the day.
She looked back down to Flora, who was awaiting further instruction. She took her hand and then grabbed her keys.
"I think it's time for ice cream. I think your Gran and Alan might be up for joining us. What do you say?" Caroline looked down and Flora nodded back up to her, eyes wide.