The Diary of Namikaze Minato

by Izaranna

"When exactly were you going to tell me about THIS?" "I was eight at the time. I didn't kn-" "Excuses are for Iwa-nin! Take your punishment like a man!" "...Kushina, please put down that meat cleaver." Clearly, privacy is a myth. May Kami-sama save his soul. Minato-centric, in case the title wasn't obvious enough. Rated T because Jiraiya is involved.

37. Chapter 37

Dear Diary,

I am now finally well. It took three painful, agonizing days, but now, the world is right once more.

I've come to appreciate the privileges of life. I am now a new man. I will never take anything for granted. No, honestly! I'll always come home on time (even if there is no one waiting for me), I will always savour and eat cold foods and will have one ice stick everyday (even though I'll have no one to share it with) and I'll occasionally iron my clothes (because I don't have anyone else to do it for me. And there was a shortage of clothing when I vomited all over my shirt.)...

Wow, now I feel lonely and sad. And pathetic. I...really don't have anyone waiting for me at home. Is this what they call having a midlife crisis?

No! Shake off all the negative feelings Minato! Let's think about all the wonderful things in life!

Kushina-san took care of me all day and night. Even though she killed all my goldfish, put a hole through my cupboard, blunted all my kunai, destroyed my kitchen and front door, smashed the glass window(s) and emptied my fridge, she did take care of me.

She also cooked for me. I think I'm in love. No, I know I'm in love. Let's just add that to the growing list of reasons why Tsume-senpai doesn't understand why I haven't told her yet.

I can't cook squat. Her cooking is fit for the Daimyo. My mouth waters just thinking about her...I mean her food. I definitely meant her food. Yeah.

Also, I can now go on up to C-rank missions without supervision! You'd think this was nothing to be happy about, but ever since I got Kakashi-kun tagging along last December, I haven't gone on a single C-rank mission. I feel like a new man now. Did I already mention that?

Also, my training has begun! For Hokage, obviously, and it's a lot less glorious and a lot more monotonous than I realized at first, but it's probably because Sarutobi-sama has been shoving all of his pointless paperwork to me because he can. I'd probably do the same if I were him.

Actually no, I wouldn't because that would be cruel and wrong and would probably turn anyone away from the Hokage seat in a flash.

Inner Uzumaki-san just said 'Ooh! Burn...' and I don't know what it means. Oh Inari-sama! She's developed a mind of her own! I might have multiple personality disorder now, I might have to be pulled out of the active ninja roster and be forced to go into T&I division, I might have to be put in confinement and then be forced to escape for my rapidly deteriorating sanity and then go on those horrible killing sprees just like mom feared I would!

Or, you know, I'm just being paranoid. Yeah, that's probably it.

So yes, things to be happy about:

Kakashi accidentally called me Minato-sensei instead of his usual "Namikaze-sama".

Kushina-san isn't dating anyone (especially not Yoshino-san)

Mikoto-chan is pregnant and is going to have a baby soon and apparently 'Fugu-face's face finally cracked a half-smile, but it was probably 'cause I tripped over in the background...' as Kushina-san so eloquently put it.

Yoshino-san is making Shikaku actually move.

The "Namikaze Minato Fan Club ™" has been cut in half after I got sick because they realized I am not invincible. It might have been because of something Kushina-san did at my place because I recall her mumbling something about "Those creatues are not civilians!"while muttering death threats under her breath. Since there are only two types of civilians in Konoha, it was most definitely them. (Two types of civilians: 'Fangirls' and 'Other assorted riff-raff'-Pg 495 of 'Konohagakure no Sato: Social Divisions' by Nara Shikaku. It's a bestseller all over the continent because it's a five book long series for all the hidden villages and helps spies tremendously. Shikaku writes some really good books.)

I am not a father and no one has blamed me for being their father's child like what is being done to Inoichi by that girl he accidentally, ahem—compromised. Himawara Yoora i think her name was.

I am alive.

My friends are physically healthy. (mentally is a whole other story. Inoichi is Exhibit A)

No one I know has died.

The war is nearly over (again. It might not be, but no one died because they hoped right?)

Things to be sad about:

Kushina-san isn't mine.

Somehow, that one negative point makes all the others seem insignificant.

Namikaze Minato

(A/N: Okay, I know two months is a long time, and this is not the longest chapter I have ever written, but I have had my Science GCSE, and let me tell you, moving from CBSE (Indian syllabus) to GCSE (British curriculum) is no mean feat. Just imagine, I had no idea what GCSE was until a month before I actually wrote them!

So again, beyond sorry, but I have a valid-ish excuse. Thanks for waiting and, since I've gotten over that ordeal, I'll probably be updating more frequently.

Oh, and the winning name for Inoichi's girlfriend was Yoora from twinSlayer and Himawari from HikaruWinter.

Thanks to everybody else who gave me a name. They were all amazing!)