"There they are!"

The words blurred into my consciousness, but I couldn't move. I couldn't open my eyes. I just had to keep fighting, just a little bit more, and then I was going to give in. The blood was going to be mine.The monster's desperate clamoring was getting louder every second. Just a little longer…

"Dave, get that IV started, right arm. We'll take over from here, kid. Hey, all you all right?"

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to life. My eyes opened and I saw blood on my hands. No! I blinked and realized, relief flooding through me, that William's shallow breathing was still there. I hadn't killed him.

"You can let go now," the voice said. Someone gently pushed my hands away from William's neck, to be immediately replaced by human hands armed with a hemostat. I stood and stumbled back, taking in the scene. Three uniformed paramedics were crowded around my friend, one starting an IV and the other working at his neck. The third was running his hands over William's arms and legs, feeling for broken bones. A stretcher lay ready on the ground.

"Compound fracture, left tibia," the third paramedic reported, tearing away the cloth of William's pant leg. His hands moved upward, and he frowned. "Left upper quadrant is distended." Spleen...

"Clavicle's been smashed," mumbled the IV one, Dave. What'd this kid get himself into? And how come the other one isn't hurt?

"Let's go," the first paramedic said abruptly. "He'll need surgery immediately." He gingerly laid the hemostat down on William's neck and anchored it with a bandage; it would hold the artery for now. I moved forward to take the intact leg and we gently deposited William on the stretcher. Dave carried the saline bottle up in the air while the other two hoisted the stretcher. My presence was finally acknowledged again.

"What about you?" the first paramedic asked as they began walking. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"I'm fine," I said quickly. Not strictly true; my throat was a wasteland, and I was just beginning to be aware of a burning pain in my shoulder. I winced, remembering Jasper's teeth.

"You don't look fine," was his reply. "Better come along, and you can tell us what happened."

There didn't seem to be any other option other than to follow them as they carefully weaved their way through the woods. "It was a bear. Take that path there, on the right. It's quicker."

"What kind of bear?"

I blinked. "I don't know. A black one?" I hadn't exactly had a chance to come up with a good story yet. "Is he going to be okay?" I asked in a rush.

"It looks pretty good," he said vaguely. "But one thing's for sure, kid. You saved his life, holding his artery together like that." At least, I hope you did.

I shrugged. "My dad's a doctor." As if that explained everything. But he seemed to accept it for the moment. His eyes were on Dave, who was taking William's pulse with his free hand.

Dave shook his head slightly. "It's still going up. We'll get his pressure as soon as we're in the ambulance." They picked up the pace, risking a bumpier ride for their patient as they pressed on toward the parking lot. It seemed to take far too long, but finally the ambulance came into view, parked right next to the Cadillac that William had gotten from Rosalie. William was bustled inside and I was- mercifully- invited to ride up front with the driver. The blood on my hands was stale enough, but I didn't need to be cooped up in a metal box with three humans right now, bleeding or not.

"Name's Ron," he finally said as he climbed in beside me. He held out a hand, but then thought better of it. He pulled out onto the road, flicking on the siren. It was pitifully unnecessary out here, but at least the empty roads afforded us a semi-decent speed.

"Edward. Where are you taking him?" I asked distractedly. Most of my attention was now on the minds of the other two paramedics in the back. They were taking William's blood pressure now and getting him on oxygen. The swelling around his spleen was still worsening, and his skin was beginning to take on a grayish tinge. But his pulse, while weak and fast, was steady, as was his shallow breathing. His mind was silent.

"Hitchcock."

I shook my head. "Take him to Cottage Hospital. It's not much farther, and my dad's on duty. He's the best emergency surgeon there is."

"But-"

"I said take him to Cottage," I repeated, my voice almost a snarl. Ron stared into my eyes for half a second, then muttered his agreement. We spent the rest of the ride in silence, barring his quick radio report to the hospital. Two orderlies were waiting for us with a gurney out by the emergency entrance. My gift strained against the crowd of minds, searching for Carlisle, but the throbbing pain in my throat and my shoulder, to say nothing of the infuriated clamor of the monster within me, made it difficult to concentrate.

"Is Dr. Cullen still here?" I asked the orderlies, trying not to wince in pain as I got out of the ambulance. The last thing I needed was for people to start trying to take my blood pressure.

The older one nodded. "He's waiting in the OR."

The paramedics shifted William onto the gurney, passing their findings on to the nurse which was just coming outside. They took him inside.

"Here's what I don't get," Ron said from behind me. "If you two were camping in the woods, who called for the ambulance?"

My jaw clenched as I scrambled for an answer. I had nothing. I flashed what i hoped was an easy smile over my shoulder as I entered the hospital. "Thanks for your help."

.

.

.

There was nothing to do but wait. After cleaning up as best I could in the restroom, I parked myself in the Family Waiting Area and sat motionless, following along with Carlisle's mind as much as I could. I couldn't stand to watch anymore once the surgery got underway, though; William's spleen did indeed need repair, and I just didn't have it in me to watch any more blood flowing.

I pulled reluctantly out of Carlisle's mind, turning my focus to our newest problem. What was our story going to be, to explain all of this? If William pulled through, he was going to have his own version of what happened, and my version would need to match up with his. At least if he did pull through, Ron and the other paramedics would be unlikely to bother much about the details of how William's life had been saved. Hopefully no one else besides them would assume that I had been camping with William at the time of the bear attack, because that wouldn't be what he would report. Still, it was quite a stretch, expecting anyone to believe that I had just happened to be strolling in that part of the woods when William got attacked by a bear… in the rain. And what about the phone call? Was it feasible to say that someone else had been with me, and had run into Warren to make the call?

"Edward!"

I snapped out of my thoughts to find William's parents entering the Waiting Area; someone must have called them. Mrs. Cummings broke away from her husband and threw her arms around me, sobbing into my neck. It was all I could do not to cry out as she clenched her arm around my shoulder, making the pain blaze hotter. I drew in a sharp, unplanned breath instead; thankfully, the stink of her perfume drowned out her scent. Everyone in the Waiting Area was smelling a little too good today.

I forced out a weak smile, raising my other hand to awkwardly pat her on the back. She finally let go of my shoulder and drew away, smearing her makeup with a handkerchief.

"Anything on William yet?" Mr. Cummings asked gravely. I had met William's parents a few times over the past couple of years, when Nick and I had come over to study and play basketball. I had never noticed how much William favored his father; the height, the same clear blue eyes and merry dimples, and the same sandy hair.

"He's in surgery right now. My dad's the doctor operating on him," I added quickly, seeing their fear. "He's the best there is."

Mr. Cummings sank into a chair, staring at nothing. His wife just stood frozen where she was, trembling. I saw a strobe of pictures in her mind: William, at various ages. I felt like a louse for even bothering about something as meaningless as our cover story; these were good people, and their son's life was hanging by a thread because he had strayed too close to my family. Lives had been lost before, but this was different; this was my friend. He had to pull through.

I dared another glimpse into Carlisle's mind again. His thoughts were full of numbers and blood vessels and sutures, but he seemed optimistic enough.

"I think he's going to make it," I said in as soothing a voice as I could manage. "I haven't seen my dad yet, but the nurses didn't seem too worried when they took him into surgery." Not exactly true, but I had to give them something. Mrs. Cummings finally breathed again, and I guided her into the chair beside her husband. I brought her a cup of water, which she quickly drank.

"What about you, dear?" she asked me when she found her voice. "Are you hurt? All they told us was that it was a… a bear attack." Her eyes welled up with tears again, but she seemed determined to mother me now, her eyes sweeping over my body worriedly. She knew about my "hemophilia".

"I'm fine," I said gently. "I'm just glad I was out… hunting, this morning. I heard what sounded like a struggle and I ran over just in time. I mean, of course I wish I had gotten there sooner…" I winced inwardly, scrambling to finish the cover story so I could have more to say. "I shot at the bear. I missed, but it was enough to scare him off."

Her eyes grew wider as my lie played out in her imagination. "Oh, Edward, you must have been so frightened! Especially with your condition!"

I nodded, not having to feign the shudder than ran through me. I had been frightened, all right, and that was before Jasper had lashed out at me with a dose of terror. I was just lucky he had been as focused on his prey as he was; I hated to think how I would have fared if he hadn't been half insane with thirst. I worked my shoulder in a small circle, gritting my teeth behind my impassive expression; the pain was getting worse. I had done my best to clean the venom out of the wound with the paper towels in the restroom, but there was obviously still quite a bit in there. I would need to have Carlisle tend to it as soon as he got the chance. Would the venom do more damage, if it stayed in too long? It hurt far more than the wound Emmett had given me on his first day. The pain was wearing on me; I was getting thirstier and thirstier.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," I murmured, rising to my feet. And not a moment too soon; Mrs. Cummings was just getting her nerve up to ask for more details. I found the service entrance and ducked into the thin spattering of trees that dotted the hospital's property. I didn't want to go far. All I could find was a scrawny little fox, but it was better than nothing. I choked down its bitter blood in less than four seconds.

When I got back to the Waiting Area, I kept my distance from William's parents, and from the sunlight that was slanting into the room through the blinds. Another hour dragged by. I peeked in on Carlisle's mind twice more; things were looking good. I wished I could have given Mr. and Mrs. Cummings the extra reassurance, but I wouldn't have had any plausible reason to know how things were going. Finally, an impeccably dressed nurse came in and announced that William was out of surgery, and doing well. Mrs. Cummings burst into tears all over again, and Mr. Cummings just about tripped over my feet as he dashed over to where the nurse was standing. She held up her hands, blocking his entry into the hall.

"Now, just give him some time," she said warmly. "We'll be keeping a close eye on him, and he needs his rest. You'll be able to see him later today."

"But he'll be all right?" Mrs. Cummings asked, wringing her hands.

"Doctor Cullen is very confident," the nurse answered, finally smiling. "William lost a lot of blood, but Edward here saved the day. Your son is lucky to have such a friend." Her smile was joined by a blush as she peeked over at me.

After giving a few more details and some paperwork to fill out, she left us. "What did she mean, Edward?" Mrs. Cummings asked. "Was that about you shooting the bear?"

"That, and…" I shrugged. "He was bleeding a lot, from his neck. I just sort of held things together until the paramedics got there."

The next thing I knew, I was trapped in her arms again. "Oh, I can't thank you enough!" she wept into my shoulder. Mr. Cummings was nodding furiously, trying to contain his own emotion.

"If there's anything we can do for you, anything at all…" he trailed off, swallowing.

"It was what anyone would have done," I protested. Not anyone, I thought grimly. If only they knew what I had really done to save their son's life… and how close I had come to taking it myself.

"Edward?"

I freed myself from Mrs. Cumming's arms, turning around to see the nurse standing there again. "Yes?"

"Your father would like to see you."

I followed her through the door, giving a parting nod of encouragement to William's parents. She led me back into the OR, which now stood empty except for another nurse who was gathering up the soiled linens and used instruments, and for Carlisle. He was still in his bloodied scrubs, perched on a stool and writing in a chart.

"Edward," he said with a casual smile, rising to his feet. "Mary, I'll take care of all that. Your shift ended an hour ago."

"But, Doctor-" she began, flustered.

Carlisle turned fully to face her, smiling warmly and hypnotizing her with his golden gaze. "Go on home, Mary. Your family is waiting for you."

Mary blushed and left, sweeping up as big an armful of the linens as she could on her way out. The other nurse followed. Carlisle closed and locked the door behind them, his smile fading instantly.

"Alice said you were hurt. Where?"

I slid my shirt off, wincing again in pain at the movement. I felt Carlisle's probing fingers on the wound, and I was able to look through his eyes; I now saw why it had been hurting so much. Jasper had bitten deep into the muscles and bone, nearly tearing off the top half of my shoulder blade. Beside the two ragged crescent-shaped gashes from his bite, there was a third tear that ran nearly to my spine, from when I had pulled away from him in the fight. He had meant business.

It's bad. I'm sorry, this is going to hurt.

I nodded, ready to get it over with. After a last glance at the closed door, Carlisle lowered his mouth to the top bite, and I finally moaned in pain as he began to pull. The foreign venom burned with a vengeance on its way out. It took him three tries to fully clean the wound. As he moved on to the second one, I began to feel the familiar tickling sensation of the healing process.

The second one was worse. It took Carlisle nearly five minutes to get all the venom back to the surface. I watched through his eyes in pained fascination as the inner tissues began to heal first, bone and ligaments and muscle fusing back together into granite perfection. He finally moved on to the third and most superficial wound, cleaning it easily. He watched as everything continued to fuse, wanting to make sure he had gotten it all.

"Can I see him?" I asked as we waited.

Carlisle nodded, still staring at the second wound as it slowly shrank. "Yes. And I really do think he'll make it. It'll be a long recovery, but he'll make it." He moved to where I could see him, waiting until he had my eyes. "Thanks to you, son. What you did…" He slowly shook his head in awe.

"It was nothing," I murmured. "And I couldn't have done anything, if it wasn't for Alice."

Carlisle bundled up the sheet that contained the discarded venom, rolling it into a tight ball and shoving it deep into the portable trash bin. He checked the wound again, nodding in satisfaction: everything except the skin itself was healed now. "It wasn't nothing," he said, coming around to face me again. His golden eyes were bright; through them I could see my own black irises, evidence of how close I had come to failure. "Of course it was difficult; I can see that. This might have been the most difficult temptation you've ever had to face. And you resisted." He smiled. "But you did more than that. You saved your friend's life, because you weren't afraid to risk killing him yourself. And seconds after fighting Jasper off, no less- and his thirst, as well. I can't begin to imagine how much harder that made it. I'm so very proud of you, son."

I dropped my eyes, ready to offer my usual protest, ready to list the reasons why his praise was undeserved- which of course it was. I had simply done what I had to do, and everything had come together at the right moment- thanks to Alice- to prevent the ultimate disaster. But then I remembered that I could trust him. I glanced back up at him. "You really mean that?"

His smile widened, his golden eyes bright with love and pride that shot straight to my heart. "I do. And you believe me?"

"Yes. I… thank you."

He nodded, moving around me to check on the healing. The tickling sensation was fading away now, leaving my left shoulder forever marked with the evidence of Jasper's bite. Over on the back of my right shoulder was the much smaller, thinner scar I had gotten from Emmett on the day of his awakening.

"How does it feel?"

I worked my left shoulder in a circle, sighing in relief at the absence of pain. "Much better. Perfect, actually. Thanks."

He took me over into Recovery, to where William was. I found my friend still unconscious but with better color than before. He was receiving a blood transfusion. He had a cast on his left leg, a neat row of stitches running up the left side of his throat, and was dotted with various other bandages and ointments. Bruises had already begun to bloom, mostly along his left side where he had hit the tree.

Carlisle laid his hand on Williams' chest, listening and feeling for respiratory and pulse rates, and checking for unwanted sounds and smells. His other hand was loosely clasped around the left brachial artery, measuring my friend's blood pressure with far greater accuracy than any of his instruments. "He's doing just fine."

"What about the damage to the spleen?" I asked worriedly. "Do you think there was any brain damage from the impact or the blood loss? Were either of his lungs punctured?"

Carlisle gave me a mental account at superspeed, leaving out the bloodiest images but giving me every ounce of information he could regarding the injuries, everything he had done in surgery, and his projections for recovery. I asked several more questions, which he answered. When I was finally satisfied, I looked up from William's chart to find my father watching me.

You've missed this, haven't you?

"What?"

He nodded toward the chart. All of this. Medicine. Medical school.

I slowly closed the chart and laid it atop the cart next to the bed, letting my fingers linger on it. It did feel good to be doing this again- poring over a chart, discussing patient care with Carlisle, getting into the fascinating details of human anatomy and physiology… though it had never hit so close to home before, how fragile humans were. "Yes," I answered honestly. "But that still doesn't mean it's a good idea."

"But your success today-"

I shook my head. "You don't know how close it was." I glanced around, ensuring that we were alone. "I almost killed him myself, Carlisle. Your eyes are as golden as ever, and you just came out of two hours of surgery!"

Carlisle smiled, looking into my black eyes without judgment. "Do you remember what I showed you, about when Aro tested me? That happened nearly sixty years after my change, Edward, and I couldn't even bring myself to try and save him. You're ahead of where I was at your age, in terms of control."

I did the math quickly in my head. But he was right; I couldn't believe it.

"And look around you," he added gently. His eyes flicked over to the blood bag, to William's body with its many wounds, and down to the blood stains on his scrubs. "I can see your thirst, and yet here you are, surrounded by blood and barely giving it a second thought."

"Stale blood," I protested, my throat treacherously flaring as I spoke the word. "And I had a fox an hour ago."

Carlisle laughed, a beautiful angelic sound that seemed out of place with the fluorescent lights and the beeping of the monitors. You don't see yourself clearly at all, do you? Allow a proud father one day's worth of indulgence. I finally smiled.

"I don't mean to press you, son," he went on. "But you really did seem to enjoy yourself while you were in medical school. Aren't you interested in trying it again, someday?"

"I did enjoy it." I paused, ready to tell him more of my secrets. They seemed so ridiculous to keep, now that we were done walking on eggshells with each other. "I decided on medical school for several reasons. I really did want to help keep you updated. And then, when it began to look like more of a real possibility, I was eager to follow in your footsteps if I could. There was the challenge. And then there was the matter of... atonement."

For the men you killed?

I nodded. "You know… saving lives, instead of taking them."

Carlisle frowned, opening his mouth to assure me that there was no debt to repay, but then he remembered Jasper's chastisement. He let out a breath, relaxing his control over his thoughts. I know exactly what you mean.

"No, you don't. What could you possibly have to atone for?"

Carlisle smiled, but the sadness remained. Jasper was right, you know. I am, in a very real way, responsible for all the deaths that my creations have dealt, whether by intent or by accident. I did know what I was doing when I began creating vampires. And you know quite well there are… other things. Things I did a long time ago. Things I might have prevented, had I the courage…

He strained his memory back into the deep past, bringing into focus a few blurry images from his human days. Pitchforks and torches and wooden stakes… and flame, consuming a terrified woman with white hair. She was screaming, pleading her innocence while Carlisle just looked on, immobilized in his shame and doubt. Beside him stood his father, his eyes blazing with triumphant hatred.

"You see, Edward," Carlisle murmured, opening his eyes, "there are many kinds of monsters in the world."

"You didn't know any better."

Carlisle shook his head, still deep in his memories. Now he was picturing me during in my years away, prowling through the streets with my red eyes. I flinched as he imagined me pouncing on a man in a dark alley, my face pressed to his neck. But Carlisle's imagination lingered not on the man I was busy killing, but on the young woman who was running away from the alley, sobbing in relief at her unorthodox rescue. And there are many kinds of heroes. I can never condone what you chose to do; you know that. But if I've never said it, son, I want you to know that I was so relieved to find out what you did with that choice. I was… proud. You were saving lives the whole time you were taking them.

"That doesn't make it right."

"No, it doesn't. But none of us is perfect, Edward. All we can do is to make the best of what we have been given, and make a new start when we are given the chance. And I think it's telling that the only two scars you bear were both won in an effort to save lives. If you feel you are meant to save lives in this new way," he added, sweeping his hand over the cart of monitors, "then I think you should give yourself the chance."

"Maybe," I heard myself saying. "Maybe I'll try again, someday."

Carlisle smiled. "And in the meantime?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "High school's up next, whenever Jasper is ready to try."

We both sobered at the mention of my brother's name; dreams and futures would have to wait. "Did William see anything?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"No. At least, I don't think so. Jasper grabbed him from behind, and I hit them both so hard that he was knocked unconscious."

Carlisle shuddered. I had no idea it was that close.

I quickly told him everything I had told the paramedics and William's parents. "The one paramedic was wondering who called for the ambulance," I added grimly. "Has anyone else said anything about that?"

"Not that I've heard. But since William is going to survive, I can't imagine anyone making a fuss over particulars. Still, you and Alice will need to keep watch for a while."

I nodded, and then tilted my head in concentration. "He's waking up."

Carlisle nodded, noting the rise in pulse and respiratory rate. We both stood silently as William's mind slowly churned into a dream state, and then into semi-consciousness. A small crease formed above his closed eyes as he tried to remember what had happened. He recalled cutting himself with the tent stake, and wrapping up the injury. Then there was a flash of pain and the sound of thunder, and blackness.

"It's all right," I whispered. "He doesn't remember much."

"Good. What can you tell about his brain function? Integrity of cranial nerves, peripheral sensation?"

I dropped my voice even lower, reporting everything I could think of that might be relevant. I carefully opened my mind to William's pain, ensuring that he didn't have any injuries that Carlisle had missed. I was able to detect feeling in all his limbs, and even confirmed that his sense of smell was intact. Carlisle finally nodded, quite assured of William's chances of making a full recovery.

I wish I could write a paper. "Neurological consult by telepathy".

I grinned. "If you could write papers on all the strange things you've-" I cut off, looking back down at my friend. His eyes slowly fluttered open, and in his mind I saw the blur of the lights slowly giving way to my face.

"Ed… Edward?" he slurred, confused. He blinked again, now fully alert as he registered the pain. "Ow."

"Hello, William," Carlisle said softly. "I'm Dr. Cullen, and you're at Cottage Hospital. You're going to be all right."

William shifted slightly under the sheets and blankets, wincing when he discovered new sources of pain. "Ow," he moaned again.

"Take it easy," I soothed, stepping closer. "You were attacked by a bear while you were out camping."

"Edward was nearby," Carlisle added. "He saved your life."

William peered at me drunkenly; Carlisle already had him on some heavy painkillers. "That was dumb," he muttered, closing his eyes again. "You coulda bled to death."

I laughed lightly at the new image in his mind: I was wrestling an enormous, snarling grizzly twice my height. "I had a gun," I informed him with a smirk.

"Oh... yeah." He frowned in concentration, trying to remember if I had ever mentioned a penchant for hunting before. But his mind was as malleable as any human's; his memory was already adjusting to define the crashing sound he had heard as a gunshot. What are you doing still around here, anyway? Thought you were going to Canada or something."

"What are you doing up here?" I countered quickly. "Shouldn't you be down at Harvard?"

"Fall Break," he muttered, licking his lips. Water.

I found a cup of water waiting on the cart and held it to his lips, watching worriedly as his mind continued to try and reassemble the events of the morning. "Thanks," he said, letting his head fall back on the pillows. Then his left hand weakly inched toward me on the blanket. "And thanks," he said in a clearer voice. "Thank you for saving me."

I nodded, smiling sadly. "I only wish I could have gotten there sooner." I poured as much silent apology as I could into the words; it was all I could give him.

"I'm going to change," Carlisle said, writing some quick notes in William's chart. "And then I'll go let your parents know you're awake." He left the room.

William blinked again, picturing his parents and then a blurred line of trees zooming past the window of his car. "Nick okay?" he asked suddenly.

I frowned. "What does Nick have to do with it?"

"He was out there with me this morning. I mean, he was earlier, but then he went off hunting while I got the tent up. Told him it was no good going out in the rain… what?"

"Your parents didn't say anything about Nick," I said, trying very hard not to break the bedrail I suddenly had a death grip on. "And I didn't see his car."

William shrugged, wincing again as he discovered his broken collarbone. "They didn't know. I picked him up on the way out of town. I guess he's okay, though. You shot the bear, right?"

I gritted my teeth. "I missed. Hold on, I'll be back in just a second." I left him staring after me as I darted out of the room, barely keeping to human speed. I grabbed the phone hanging on the wall by the nurse's lounge, calling home.

No answer.

"Tell my dad I'll see him at home," I told the nearest nurse, then turned on my heel and headed out the service entrance again.

I ran straight home. As soon as I was in range, I stabbed out with my gift and found the evidence I had feared; through Alice's eyes I saw Jasper turn around from the window to face her. His eyes were a brilliant, guilty red.