36 – Living In The Shadows

The stillness of the air could only compare with the darkness of the night. No sound. No movement. No moon. Nothing. My breath came in small puffs as I waited, under a Disillusionment Charm, crouched in the shadow of the decrepit structure that could no longer be identified as a building. Two lone stone walls remained standing. How? I couldn't begin to tell. Fallen stones and grooves in the packed earth were the only indication of where the other walls had once been, the sporadic bits of framework showing the possible size of the main room. There was no longer a roof, and the stars shown brightly in the midnight sky. The area was completely isolated. A perfect place to meet. There was a light rustle to my right, and I held my breath, waiting. Something slowly moved through the remnants of the archaic structure.

How many? I asked.

Three, was the reply.

Where? I was looking for a direction to go in.

One is to your right, by the entrance. The other two are near the fire pit, in the centre.

Where are you?

By the far wall between the two.

Don't move. I'm going for the one by the door. Remaining crouched, I crept along the wall, silently moving toward a narrow opening that constituted the entrance of the structure. With the opening in sight, I took a chance. Petrificus Totalus. My target froze in position, facing the entrance as if making ready to leave.

The others? I asked efficiently.

Still by the fire pit.

Can you move without being noticed?

No.

Are they facing the door?

One is.

Damn, I thought, so much for the circuitous approach.

I took a quick peek around the edge of the doorframe, spying the next targets in the centre of the structure. Severus was against the far wall, his Disillusionment Charm blending him into the stone, but unable to move without rustling the long grass, attracting attention.

You take the one on your left. I'll hit the other from behind. On the count of three. One, two, three…Petrificus Totalus.

Stupefy.

My target froze on the spot while Severus' yowled as it flew through the air, landing unconscious near the wall where I had originally been.

"What did you do that for? That wasn't necessary!" I chastised as I openly strode into the room, casting off the charm.

"Nothing a quick "Envernate" and Memory Charm can't handle," Severus reassured indifferently, dispersing his own charm.

"The poor cat!" I tsked shaking my head, going over to check its condition. For the past month, we had been meeting in various locations, testing our prowess and teamwork with a variety of creatures.

"They didn't notice me by the wall and didn't hear or sense you coming. A cat's sixth sense is difficult to evade, more so than a human's. The modifications made on the Disillusionment Charm worked well."

I nodded and covered a yawn. "It's late. I think that's enough for tonight. I have to be at St. Mungo's in the morning."

Severus moved to end the spells on the two Petrified cats, quickly casting Memory Charms before they bolted from the structure. I Envernated the third cat, casting my own Memory Charm before it leapt over the wall to parts unknown.

"I think we should move on to people," I suggested. "Animals and other creatures are one thing, but it will be humans that we'll eventually be dealing with."

Severus frowned and draped his arm over my shoulder as we left the practice location. "Where do you suggest? London? With Muggles?"

"That's a possibility," I replied thoughtfully. "Do you know of any meetings coming up? Maybe at Malfoy's?"

Severus shot me a glare, his thin lips pressed tightly together.

"Even when you don't tell me things, there are times when I suspect anyway," I warned.

"There is something coming up, but I don't want you involved, not until I know more," he cautioned. He unconsciously rubbed his left forearm against my shoulder.

"It's been a long time since you've done that," I pointed out to a puzzled expression. "Your arm. The mark. You rubbed it. How strong is it?"

"It's uncomfortable but not strong."

"When did it begin?"

He paused; jaw clenching, and I put my hand out to stop him.

"When?" I asked again, firmly.

"I first noticed it in the summer. It began to darken, and then right before the Quidditch World Cup, it began to…twinge. It has been getting progressively stronger, but is still not to the intensity that it was when "he" was at full power."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I wish you'd told me sooner. Have you told Albus?"

"Yes. He's been informed. It would appear that "he" has been calling his servants, and if I'm feeling it, so are the others." It was his turn to shake his head. "It's one thing to play games and build confidence in your skills. It's another thing to have to put those skills to use in potentially dangerous situations. I don't want you hurt."

I'd heard that line over and over again. It could have been my new mantra. "Severus, this is what we were meant to do. It's all part of the "grand plan". Injury is inevitable. How many times have you suffered at Voldemort's hand? How many times have you felt Crucio? There was once a time when I couldn't brew the Cruciatus Reduction Potion fast enough, and you always had to have a bottle on hand."

"Start brewing it again," he advised acerbically.

We reached the edge of the meadow, by the low stone wall that ran for miles through the field. I was tucked comfortably under Severus' arm, my own wrapped around his waist. Turning to face each other, we could barely make out our features in the darkness. His hand rose to touch my face, and I stretched to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

"I love you, caro. Never forget that," I said as I gave him a quick hug.

He returned the hug with crushing force. "You are my rock, cara. You are what keeps me going," he whispered into the crook of my neck.

Releasing each other, we took a step apart, fingers touching lightly.

"Let me know where to go next," I instructed.

He nodded sullenly and took another step back. "Until we meet again."

"Until we meet again," I repeated, and with simultaneous "pop"s, we both Disapparated into the night. If we were lucky, we may get a couple of hours of sleep before our day jobs began.

The week passed quickly, as did the next, and the one after that. I'd had no word from Severus, and we were, now, into December. I was anxious to practice again.

On a routine business trip to Diagon Alley for supplies, I decided to play a little game of cat and mouse with the early holiday shoppers. I would pick a target and disappear in the crowd, following the unsuspecting bargain hunter until he or she had reached their goal, or I tired and moved onto someone else. Sometimes, I would get close enough to playfully shift their bags around or hear them mutter to themselves about what they needed to remember. This went on for a good part of the afternoon, and as I was preparing to head back to the office with my purchases, I spotted an irresistible target emerging from Gringotts. Casting the modified Disillusionment Charm that reduced the residual shimmer and dampened my empathic vibrations, I glided through the crowd and took up position a couple of feet behind. My target made his way, effortlessly through the busy street, not stopping to investigate the brightly coloured shop windows or nod acknowledgement to acquaintances. He seemed to be on a mission. Keeping a steady pace as he neared the Leaky Cauldron, he was joined by two other men who fell into step on either side. They were an imposing trio, and I could feel the hair on my arms begin to prickle. They passed easily through the street, the crowd unconsciously parting before them, and when they reached a menacing side street, the man in the centre disappeared from my sight, his space containing merely a familiar reflective gleam.

The alleyway was dark and dreary. Hags and warlocks begged from dingy doorways as large, grey, street rats scampered through the trash in the gutter. The lane was made of packed dirt rather than the clean cobblestone of Diagon Alley, and merchants sold a variety of questionable items. The oppressive sensation seemed to permeate even from the cracks of the wretched buildings. The men stopped before what could only be described as a "house of ill-repute" and were greeted by a scantly clad, buxom witch with cheaply coiffured hair. She smiled at the two visible men, displaying a gold front tooth, and ushered them in. I was close enough to slip in behind them before the door was closed. They knew which direction to go as the witch simply waved her hand toward a bright red door at the rear of the garishly decorated main room which held a variety of witches in various stages of dress…or undress. The candlelight was bright enough to display the wares, but I feared the unsteady glow would have a negative effect on my charm. The men ogled as they lumbered their way through the chamber but, luckily, moved quickly enough that no one noticed any possible remaining shimmer. My heart was beginning to race. What have I gotten myself in to?

The Red Room was no larger than ten by ten feet with an oil lamp chandelier hanging from the ceiling over a rectangular meeting table. A variety of men and women raised their heads when the entourage entered, eyes searching for what wasn't visible. I strengthened the Disillusionment Charm and had a definite feeling of a dread that I had stepped into something that I shouldn't have. I recognized some of these people: McNair from the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the Ministry, one of the men who I had followed was suddenly recognized as one of my abusers from when I was attacked and "killed" at nineteen, Crabbe, I think. There were a few other faces as well, some from the Ministry, some from events that I had attended, and then there was Severus, standing ominously behind his curtain of lank, black hair, his back firmly planted against the far wall, staring crossly in my direction. He sensed me there, and I felt ill.

A chair invisibly shifted at the head of the table and heads turned toward the scraping sound. A Disillusionment Charm was released to display an elegant man in his late thirties or early forties with long white-blond hair adjusting immaculately tailors robes as he gracefully sat in the heavy, padded captain's chair, placing a silver-topped walking stick across the edge of the table in front of him. I moved behind a burly man in a non-descript, brown, work robe in the unconscious attempt to better conceal myself from the group. Struggling to keep the panic from overtaking my thoughts and the bile from rising in my stomach, I stood, motionless, against the wall by the door.

Malfoy called the meeting to order by lifting the left the sleeve of his robe, exposing a repulsive black skull and snake brand. The others followed suit, displaying their left forearms for all to see. Malfoy's smile was of menacing satisfaction. His eyes narrowed, and I took a very deep, steadying breath.

"The time will soon be upon us." His drawl was one I could never forget. "Each of us has received the sign, some proved their loyalty this summer."

Many of the members grunted and nodded admission.

"Those who have remained loyal and have proven that loyalty will be received back into the fold without hesitation," he continued arrogantly, as if he knew more than the others. "The Dark Lord is getting stronger. He will need our support. Those who have followed me in his absence will be rewarded for continuing his work."

Several stood or sat straighter, proud of their allegiance. Severus remained unmoved by the far wall, his arms crossed over his thin chest.

As Malfoy addressed each member, he asked for a progress report, for lack of a better term, on what they had been doing in the Dark Lord's name. Some stories were of gruesome acts of violence against Muggles and Muggle-borns, while others were of espionage within the Wizard world itself. In some instances, Malfoy was not pleased, and the member fell to a quick "Crucio", but in most instances, he remained impassive. Severus was the last to speak. He had not looked at me the entire time and didn't dare glance my way now.

"Dumbledore is preoccupied with the events of the Triwizard Tournament. He is a doddering old fool who spends much of his time entertaining the officials and tending to the visiting schools. Yes, he was concerned about Potter being involved in the tournament but has delegated the safety of the situation to Alastor Moody. The man is as mad as a hatter and quick to suspect anyone who remotely appears suspicious, including myself."

"He doesn't trust you?" Malfoy dripped with cynicism.

"He doesn't trust anyone," Severus replied coolly.

"But, Dumbledore trust you. After all, you turned." Malfoy eyed Severus with malevolence.

"How better to know our enemy than to live with it? Dumbledore knows nothing, and so it will remain."

"Good." Malfoy's pale lips turned slightly upward in satisfaction.

"One last item," Severus continued. "Igor Karkaroff is Headmaster of Durmstrang Institute and is presently at Hogwarts."

There was a murmur through the group.

"He in nervous and very concerned about The Dark Lord's return," he finished.

"As he should be," one member shouted out.

"Traitor!" another bellowed. "He should have been fed to the Dementors."

Malfoy's lips turned upward in the ghost of a smile. He seemed pleased with the anger brewing in the group. It formed a unity amongst the members, a common enemy revealed.

A few more instructions were given, and the meeting was adjourned. As luck should have it, the man who opened the door first paused to speak with a colleague, and I was able to slip though the crack and head for the main entrance. Reaching the foyer, I was forced to wait for someone to open that door as well, but it seemed that I might have to wait a bit longer. As the members exited the Red Room, several made stops to inspect the merchandise on display, stroking a breast or allowing themselves to be fondled. Malfoy stood within the doorway of the room quietly speaking with Severus and brushed off an approaching brunette who turned her attentions to my husband. He scowled at her, but she laughed openly and reached for his crotch, cupping him with a seductive smirk. Malfoy twitched an indifferent smile, patted Severus on the arm with his cane, cast his Disillusionment Charm and disappeared into the crowd. I hid behind a coat tree by the doorway to avoid any possibility of being bumped into, watching Severus with this tart. At first, he tried to stop her aggressive approach by grabbing her wrist and pushing her back, but she held onto his hand and pressed her body against his, encouraging him on.

"It's free, if you want it." She slithered against him while backing him into the wall. She wasn't terribly attractive, but her lithe body knew where to press.

"Come on, Snape," McNair encouraged while a blonde witch straddled his lap. "What kind of man are you? I don't think any of us have ever seen you with a woman. Merlin! She's offering herself. Free! Where are your balls?"

Scornful laughter rose from the members who remained.

"And, where is your wife, McNair?" Severus chided to the man who had his nose buried in the cleavage of the blonde.

The robust man pointed to a melange of both men and women in various stages of undress on the centre rug. There was such of mass of arms and legs that one couldn't tell whose were whose, but a slim arm rose over the group, waving, as the black-haired woman writhed under the groping hands of the participants.

Severus rolled his eyes, and the brunette recommenced her attack, unbuttoning his trousers and working her way down. Severus furtively glanced around the room and noticed that he was, indeed, being watched. I noticed, too. He had two choices: go through with it or push her away and risk the fallout afterward. He didn't know that I was still there, and I wasn't about to enlighten him, having blocked my empathic connection to him. Watching from the hidden position by the front door, I observed this woman expertly bring my husband to climax. He never closed his eyes as he watched her draw out his seed, and when she was done, she smiled seductively at him from her kneeling position, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth, only to be surprised by his abrupt push as he stepped back to adjust himself and do up his trousers. Striding toward the door, he had to circumvent the orgy in the centre of the room, giving them an unobserved contemptuous glare as he fumed past, bursting through the exit and stalking into the night.

Deciding to see what he would do next, I slipped out in his wake and followed. After a few sullen shots of Firewhiskey at a local tavern, he angrily Disapparated. With that move, I could no longer track him, so I headed home. It was late now, and I was still lugging around the supplies for work. I'd have to bring them in tomorrow.

My apartment was dark when I arrived, and as I reached the front door, my Protective Shield registered a force rapidly approaching from the rear. Spinning, ready to fight off an attacker, Severus came into view at the last moment, releasing his Disillusionment Charm and the Reverse Glamour Charm while extinguishing the porch light. I was thrust, hard, against the door, knocking my head, and assaulted with a bruising kiss. The ward on the door recognized my befuddled command to open, and we stumbled in, his urgency and distress obvious. Staggering backward into the dark entranceway, he forcefully pushed the cloak from my shoulders as I dropped the supplies onto the floor.

"Only you. Only you," sounded like a whispered mantra as he lifted me to wrap my legs around his waist. "Bedroom," he muttered as I pointed down the short hallway to the right of the sitting room. He had never been to my apartment, fearing for my safety, but at this moment, he knew where most of his compatriots were, and by this time, I had caught on to his intent and was planting small kisses over his neck and face while he carried me off. By the time we reached the bedroom, I could feel him hard against my pelvis, and as I released my legs to stand, I ran my finger along the long row of frockcoat buttons, releasing them all at once. He shivered at my touch and nearly ripped the shirt from my body.

"Rough night?" I gasped as we tumbled onto the bed.

He nodded as he struggled to remove my pants. I had cast Occlumency, not wanting him to have to deal with the knowledge that I knew what had happened, and as the pants were cast to the floor, I sat up and reached for his.

"No." He stood on his knees abruptly pushing my hand away, his face clouded, eyes dark pools in a lost sea. Standing to the side of the bed, he took the trousers off himself. By now, his urgency had faded slightly, and he was beginning to relish the moment. Crawling onto the bed and edging himself between my legs, he kissed me slowly and fully, finally savouring the moment. Reaching to lift my knee around him, he shifted slightly, raising himself onto straight arms, watching my face change as he gradually filled me, my eyes closing in trust and confidence.

"This is who I am," he whispered to himself through the motion. "Only for you."

"I love you," I whispered my assurance, wrapping my right leg around his hip, pulling him closer as I felt the heat rise from my abdomen to my cheeks as the motion became more intense.

His eyes never left my face as he ground into me, deep and hard, and I could feel that he was burying more than simply himself, he was burying the memory of the evening.

"Let it go," he encouraged as he felt my internal muscles begin to contract. "I want to see you let it go." His rhythm increased as we moved steadily together.

A red aura radiated from my body like a heat wave as the climax rose and released with a reverberant groan. Severus followed, arching on straightened arms above me, pushing deep, then lowering gently onto his elbows for a moment's rest, letting himself relax in the warmth of contracting uterine walls, my legs wrapped lovingly around his hips. Finally rolling to one side, he purposefully pulled me under his arm, reaching with the other to envelop me in a protective hug.

"Ti amo, cara. Ti amo." His words were barely audible.

"Ti amo, caro," I returned kissing his chest and curling my arm across his torso to stroke the fine black hair. The Italian words taking him to another place, another time.

In the darkest hours before dawn, Severus shifted in the bed, rolling to his right to stroke my exposed shoulder. Feather-light kisses drew a line from the warm blade to the tricep and back, and as his arm reached forward, he spanned his hand over my abdomen, tenderly pulling me back against him. I could feel him flex gently against my buttocks, and in a dream-like state, I rolled to face him.

"I have to go," he murmured softly. "Will you be at the Society's Yule celebration next week?"

"Will you?" I asked sleepily.

He inhaled deeply and replied, "I certainly hope so. I have a request."

My eyebrows rose questioningly.

"Do you still have the royal blue silk robe? The one with the lace bodice and bell sleeves?"

"You remember my wardrobe?" I smirked from my warm confines.

"That one. Yes," he answered with his own smirk. "If I recall, you wore it years ago with a lovely sapphire drop necklace that rested about…here." He drew a line down my cleavage, stopping between the breasts, then moved to cup one, kneading softly, then bending to suckle the rising bud. I arched slightly to increase the contact, moving my hand to trace the line of his spine, while his hand moved to tweak the other nipple.

"I thought you had to leave," I asked dreamily, enjoying the sensation.

"I do," he assured as he slowly diverted his attention to the other side.

"It's not going to happen any time soon if you keep that up," I warned playfully.

I could feel him smile against my skin as he shifted, suckling a line from my chest to my navel and back.

Gently pulling his shoulders, trying to persuade him to face me, he lifted onto his elbows with a serious look. "Do you know how much danger you were in last night?" he asked without malice.

I nodded sheepishly.

"Why?" he enquired quietly.

"The opportunity presented itself, and he was too irresistible a target. I didn't think it would go that far," I replied. "Then, I was caught in the situation that I couldn't get out of."

"Not very smart. You must always think, be on guard," he instructed.

I could see the mood beginning to fade with his concern. "Make love to me," I encouraged sweetly, lifting a knee invitingly, running my hand over his hip and thigh, reaching to guide him in. This time, he allowed the touch.

His eyes closed. "Talk to me," he whispered as he shifted over me, still wanting, needing to be in control.

"You are my only love," I whispered back. "The beat of my heart, the blood in my veins, my other half."

The act was loving and tender, sweet and heartfelt. We were one: heart and soul, mind and body, and when we were done and rested, Severus sat on the edge of the bed pulling his trousers on while I remained under the warm covers with his scent still lingering on my skin.

"Promise me something." He paused while buttoning his starched white shirt. "Promise that you will never do anything like that again."

I sat up and place my hand between his shoulder blades. "I'll not make a promise that I might not be able to keep, but I can promise this: I promise to be more careful, to use my head and not be led astray by curiosity. My shield was up, and I was careful…"

"But, I had asked you not to get involved yet, and you did." He turned his haunting eyes to me.

"It was not my intent. I was merely testing my skills as I had been all afternoon. As I said, seeing Malfoy was an unexpected opportunity to great to resist."

His lips pressed together in a thin line, but he said nothing, simply leaned to kiss me tenderly on the lips and stand to leave.

"Save me a dance?" he asked changing the subject with a playful twitch of his lips.

I smiled broadly. "I'll bring the mistletoe."

He rolled his eyes. "You'll be the scandal of the Society. I'm a bad influence, or haven't you heard? I have a reputation to uphold."

"Consider it an annual event. Once a year. Let the idle minds chatter." I waved my hand as it to fend off negative energy.

Severus smiled and shook his head. "I think you're the bad influence," he chided amusedly. "Good night, cara. Sleep well, and be safe," were his parting words as he headed for the door.

"And you, mi amoure," I responded as I watched him leave.

Resetting the wards and curling back down under the still warm covers, I inhaled deeply the lingering scent of his body and our love. This promised to be a good year.