Chapter 36: Solace

Michael

I wanted so badly to run in there and comfort her but I knew this was something she had to do alone. I had felt her trying to use her energy and I had lent her some of mine without her knowing. But when I opened that barrier to fuse our energy, I got the raw reality of what she was feeling what now.

It was then that I understood why she was holding it back. When that much pain and suffering was residing inside of your head, you can't think of anything else. For that one second when the onslaught of her emotions was within me, it was like I couldn't move or breathe. It was a very hopeless feeling.

I was relieved when I had felt that Liz had given to those feelings. She needed to let them out.

Just when I was about to give in and go into the room, my cell phone rang. I glanced at the Caller ID and took the call.

"Iz?" I immediately asked after picking up the phone.

"My god, Michael. Cal just told me what happened. Is Liz with you?" came her worried reply.

"She's in the room with her dad right now. Her mom should be here soon."

"Do you think I should come to the hospital? Or does she want to be alone?"

I sighed. "She *wants* to be alone but she'll need you here."

"I'll call everyone. We'll be there soon."

Isabel hung up and I finally went into Mr. Parker's room about a half a hour later. Liz's head immediately shot up and she wiped her face with her hands. "Liz," I whispered, my heart breaking for her.

"I saw him. I got into his mind and he said goodbye," she squeaked out.

At a loss for words, I just send comfort through our connection. Without looking at me, Liz spoke. "You said that you'd support me no matter what, right?"

"Yeah, Angel. Of course."

"I want revenge," she ground out. I remained quiet. Now was neither the time or place to argue with her and this was one thing I did not agree with her on.

"The gang is coming soon," I said, changing the subject.

"They're already here," Serena said in a hushed voice as she opened the door. Liz smiled at her through her tears and sat up.

"I'll be out in a minute," she said. Together we walked outside to the waiting area.

Isabel got to her first. She hugged Liz tightly. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

Liz embraced the taller girl just as tightly. "I'm so glad you guys are here."

"Good," Tristan said. "Because now you are stuck with us. I come baring gifts." He tossed a bag of snacks at Liz's chest.

"And coffee," Max added, gesturing to the cups of coffee in the holder on a nearby seat.

Liz laughed. "You guys are amazing. Which one is mine?"

After distributing snacks and coffee, we had situated the waiting room into our own niche. Max was sitting cross legged on the chair across from Isabel and Alex. Serena and Kyle were on the floor, there fingers interlocked. Tristan was pacing because he can never sit down for too long. Liz was on my lap and I was trying my best to keep her mind off of the current situation.

"So what do you guys want to do for your anniversary?" Tristan was asking Kyle and Serena.

"I, personally, think that after the two month anniversary, it just goes down hill," Kyle joked and Serena smacked him in the back of the head.

"You're just mad because I demand gifts," she said.

"Isn't my manly body enough?"

"It can't sustain a girl forever," she said with a coy smile. Serena was a sweet girl once you got her to come out of her shell. She and Liz had grown very close. Tristan and Kyle had even developed quite the friendship.

Sensing that Liz had something else on her mind, I looked at her questionably but she spoke before I could ask her. "I think we should attack the skins."

Everyone froze and looked at her as if she had grown another head.

Tristan shook his head. "You aren't thinking clearly."

Liz narrowed her eyes at him. "You're doing it again, aren't you?"

One pesky power that Tristana and Serena had developed due to their seer positions was mind reading. After a very embarrassing episode, we decided as a group that they weren't allowed to do it anymore. Serena hadn't done it since but Tristan did it occasionally.

"Because I have to," Tristan shot back. "I'm not going to sit back and allow you to start something just because you want revenge. You could put everyone at risk."

Everyone darted their eyes. Tristan and Liz were both very stubborn people. They cared about each other a great deal but when they disagreed on something, their fights were notorious.

"I can go by myself," Liz argued.

"I'm not telling you who you are taking. I'm telling you that you *aren't* going to do it. I understand how you feel," he said, sympathy in his voice. "Khivar killed my father too and don't think that I don't feel the same way you do every single time I think about him. But if you or myself do to him what we want to then that makes us just as bad as he is."

Liz softened.

"Honey?"

Liz turned to see her mother behind us. "Mom. You're here!" and she launched herself into her mother's arms.

Her mother held Liz tightly, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Did it work?" she asked, searching her daughter's face. "Cal said that you were going to try again."

"We're going to go get some food," Max said, and the rest of the gang got up as well. "We'll be back soon."

Once they were gone, I looked at Liz questionably. {Stay. Please.}

My eyes met hers and I saw the distraught look on her face. She turned to face her mother again. "No, it didn't."

Mrs. Parker's hand flew to her mouth and she choked back sobs. "Oh, Liz. I'm so sorry."

Liz seemed to ignore the comment and gestured towards the hospital room. "Do you me to go in with you?"

Liz

"Don't beat yourself up over this, baby," she advised once she got in the room with me. Light tears shimmered in her eyes.

"I'm trying not to but it's getting very hard. Why are you so calm about this?" I asked in curiosity.

She shook her head. "Calm? I'm glad I appear that way to you but I'm far from it. I'm just *prepared*." My mom sat next to my father and held his hand. "I guess it's different for you. All you want is your father back. I forget sometimes that despite your new life, you still are a little girl. A little girl who doesn't want her father to leave her. I'll miss your father very much, Lizzie. You know that but you also know how your Father is. He is a strong man who loves life and we both know that we wouldn't like to be in this hospital any more than we like this situation."

I already knew that. I had seen it in his head. Composing my thoughts, I cleared my throat loudly. "Then you'll understand that this doesn't mean that you can come back to Roswell."

She nodded slowly. "You don't want me to get hurt. This doesn't come as a shock to me, Liz. Which is why Cal and I have already made arrangements to have you stay in Roswell. Even though I'm a couple towns away, we've slipped by social services but once your father dies, you don't have a legal guardian that resides in Roswell. You would have to live with me but I know that you can't do that. I'll have to tie up some loose ends in Roswell for a while with this whole situation but once I have to leave, Cal will be a temporary legal guardian. Just for a year and then we'll have to work the rest of the kinks out."

"Thanks," I said softly.

"Now all you have to do to repay me is go home and rest. I'll call you if anything new happens."

I was about to protest but then I considered what my mother was really asking. I had never seen my mother really cry before in front of people. She just wanted to be alone with my dad so she could let it out.

I left the room and faced Michael. "She wants me to get some rest. But I don't think I'll be able to sleep right now. Eating, however, is a whole different story. I'm going to run and get some food. Can you stay here with my mom?"

He looked uncertain. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

I smiled softly. He was just worried about me. "No. I just need to be alone right now."

I give him a quick kiss and went out to the parking lot to get to the car. Tristan was leaning against it with his arms crossed. "I thought you went out to eat."

Tristan chuckled. "I have a higher calling. Apparently my hunger means nothing to the people up there."

We used to joke how Tristan being a seer was eerily reminiscent to being a white lighter on Charmed. We went through a phase when we called him Leo for a while but eventually he just got pissed off. "And what higher calling would that be?"

"Let's go for a ride."

Once we both got in the car and pulled out of the lot and onto the road, Tristan spoke. "Sorry if I yelled at you back there."

"It's OK."

"But I'm right, Liz, and you know it," came the kicker.

I rolled my eyes. "You probably are but I don't care. There needs to be some form of justice here."

He raised an eyebrow. "Justice or revenge? You aren't thinking this through, Liz."

I began to grow frustrated about how he was fighting me on this. "This isn't your decision," I ground out.

Tristan didn't say anything for a while. "I can help."

"Help with what?"

"You aren't normal, Liz. Even though I think that you need to figure this out on your own, the Council doesn't want you to jeopardize the bigger picture. They want me to give you peace."

"What kind of peace?"

"The kind that can give you balance. Something like that," he huffed. You could say Tristan was not the typical seer. If only the Council could see him now with his torn jeans, worn grey t-shirt, and ruffled hair. "It wouldn't take away the pain but it would help you accept the situation."

"Can I think about it?"

He sent me a confused look. "Why would you, Liz? I mean, don't you want-"

"You wouldn't understand, Tristan. Over the past few months, I've developed a new life. My mom even said so and I can't help but feel like I'm losing hold on the old me. I was completely different. I was shy and quiet and somehow the minute I got my powers, I morphed into this strong confident person of an entirely different species. I don't want to take that back but my emotions- who I am on the inside- they make me feel human. I know that that is probably stupid but I don't want to have that taken away from me."

Tristan frowned. "But you aren't human. In essence, you kind of are but-once again, you aren't *normal*. You have a lot depending on you and the Council needs to be insured that you can do what you have to do. I, however, could care less about that. I know what it feels like to lose your father and I don't want you to go through that. You don't deserve to go through that."

"I remember a time when I didn't think normal was so great. Now, it's like it's so far from my reach…" I said wistfully.

Tristan gave me a sympathetic look. "Maybe you should let go then."

We pulled up to a small coffee shop. I unbuckled my seatbelt and faced Tristan. "Let's do this."

He placed his hands on either side of my head and I closed my eyes. That's when I felt it. I felt *everything*. I felt my pain and my loss but I also could see all of the things I had failed to see beyond my pain. My dad wouldn't have wanted to be hooked up to those damn machines for the rest of his life and my mom and I would be just fine without him. Suddenly, I began to see my father's death as a blessing for him-he could find real happiness, not just a made up diner in his mind. He'd be back but until then I would have to let him go. And now I knew that this was the right thing.

My eyes flew open. Tristan gave me a hopeful look. "Did it work?"

I nodded. "Yeah but I still want to go after Khivar. We'll figure it out as a group later. It's like everything in my mind is balanced. I'm sad but I see the good in all of this. Right now, I am really hungry."

I began to get out the car and I heard Tristan laugh. "You seem less down. Hold up. What's that on your finger?"

I waited until he got out of the car and smiled. "You will not believe what Michael did this morning…"

Michael

"Michael, can I talk to you for a moment?" Mrs. Parker asked as soon as she came out of the hospital room. My throat went dry and I scooted over so she could sit next to me.

"Sure."

"My daughter loves you," she said simply.

I gave her a confused look, not knowing where she was going with this. "Now I don't have to give you the whole 'if you hurt her' speech but I have a feeling that both of us are past that. If I thought that you would hurt my daughter, she wouldn't be living with you without parent supervision. I like you, Michael. You're a nice boy and you love her just as much as she loves you. And I must admit, I am quite jealous of you sometimes. You get to spend all of this time with her-see her smile, hear her laugh- but I know that you take good care of her."

I actually became to blush at her sincere words and she laughed. "Don't worry, Michael. Your masculinity is safe with me."

"As much as I love the ego boost, Mrs. Parker, why are you telling me this now?"

She waved a hand in nonchalance. "Just to tell you. You've come a long way, Michael, and truth be told, I like you better than I liked that Max fellow."

Mrs. Parker patted my knee and grinned. "So where is my daughter anyway? I doubt that she's at the apartment sleeping."

I shook my head and gave her a crooked smile. "She went to get some food."

Mrs. Parker frowned and a sad look passed over her face. "Do you think she'll be OK, Michael?"

Just when I was about to answer, I felt something strange. Liz's practically nonexistent side of the connection roared to life. But unlike last time, her emotions weren't overwhelming. They were sad and comforting at the same time.