Author's Note:
You all had the most entertaining reactions to the last chapter, and I've been loving every single response. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it! For those of you who've known from the beginning where the idea for the title and chapter titles of this fic came from (really the inspiration for the whole fic), you know exactly how many chapters we have left, but as I recently mentioned in the AN of a chapter for Anger Management, I'm planning to do edits on all my long fics and cross-post them to AO3 (where you can find me as FictionalNutter as well), so I may well add some time stamps etc. to this fic in the future. Thank you all for sticking with me!
Thanks to jojospn, Phoenix Autumn, Isa-Just-Me, Nyx Ro, FireChildSlytherin5, SnarryMoreidLover, koolies, LordOfTheSuperwhomerlockians, SPN Mum, , keacdragon, Spinner2, doglady.1, Maki-chan, aliengirlguy, and one guest for their reviews on chapter 36!
Chapter 37 - That I May See Him
Karen jumped sharply as Mary and Annie ran through the door of the Roadhouse, expressions expectant.
"What's going on?" Mary demanded, immediately going to Karen's side to peer at the computer screen.
Looking frustrated, Karen shrugged helplessly. "I have no idea! Whatever that thunder was, it wasn't me. It's not just in Heaven though."
"What do you mean?" Annie asked, raising an eyebrow.
Karen gestured to the television. "Go see for yourself. I think they're still talking about it."
Mary and Annie moved to the screen in the corner, which was showing the crowd of people in the bunker all talking at once.
"I refuse to believe that freak nature thing is a sign," Dean was protesting, his brow furrowed. He was talking to the room at large, but he was looking at Castiel.
Castiel's expression was almost petulant. "It is, Dean. I know it is. Gabriel, don't you agree with me?"
Gabriel looked hesitant. "I'm significantly less optimistic," he hedged. At Castiel's crestfallen expression, he quickly ammended with, "but more hopeful and willing to believe than your boyfriend!"
Sam smacked Gabriel on the shoulder. "Be nice."
"I am nice!" Gabriel protested.
"You put glitter in my shampoo," Kevin commented from behind them, otherwise tuning out the ongoing debate as he leaned over the tablet.
"That was obnoxious, not mean," Gabriel pointed out. "It's not like you didn't notice right away and get it replaced."
"Anyway," Dean over-enunciated. "Back to the point?"
"Castiel," Michael said softly, "I fear you are too hopeful. Just because it is similar to ways He has announced himself in the past..."
"So the thunder thing could be God?" Sam asked curiously. "Like, there's precedent for that?"
"That is what I have been trying to say," Castiel huffed. "There was no natural indication of a weather pattern that would allow for that type of thunder clap, and nothing natural that could ever explain why it was heard across the world at the exact same moment. He has returned to help restore my family!"
Mary felt a pang in her heart at the look on Castiel's face. He was simultaneously hopeful and upset. Even if that thunder clap had been the return of God, which was an idea Mary was still wrapping her head around, and even if He did restore all the angels, Castiel would not be one of them. His grace was gone, not just separated from him. Still, the fact that he was joyful in the face of the idea of his siblings being restored was telling of his character.
"Cas, my problem isn't with the idea of God coming back to help out," Dean interjected. "My problem is with why He's never bothered before. The apocalypse ringing any bells? Not to mention the Leviathan thing."
"Not that I don't get where you're coming from, Dean-o, but it is kind of Dad's style," Gabriel admitted. "He likes to let people learn from their own mistakes. That's kind of the point of free will. This thing with Metatron though, that's a deliberate attack on Heaven, that's not some bad decisions potentially destroying the world. I mean, you guys were able to stop both the apocalypse and the Leviathan. Heaven though, that's a hole other can of worms."
"Is it really possible?" Sam wondered aloud, not really addressing anyone.
"I fervently hope so," Michael commented quietly. "Nobody is more capable of forgiveness than our Father."
Everyone was quiet for a moment after that. Dean and Cas stood together, mostly staring. Sam was next to Gabriel, thinking, and Michael was standing beside the chair where Adam was seated with his book, studiously ignoring the rest of the room. Similarly to how Kevin had been for months, Adam felt better pretending that not everything around him was bizarre. He could handle the angels for the most part, but as soon as the potential return of God came into the discussion, he buried his nose in a book. Kevin was still on the tablet, so the two of them sat at the table in silence.
Sensing the end of the conversation, Mary turned back to Karen with a raised eyebrow, raising her voice so it would carry across the room. "They think God is here?"
Karen shrugged. "That's what it sounds like to me. I can't really see a lot from here, so I'm not exactly monitoring exactly what's happening in Heaven. Maybe Ash would know more. This isn't really my area."
"It's fine, Karen. You've done a great job," Mary reassured her.
"You know, Mary," Annie mused, "Metatron did rush off really fast when that thunder clap hit. He was worried. What could scare the only angel left in Heaven?"
"You can lock the angels out," Mary acknowledged, "but you definitely can't lock God out. Damn, how do you think this is going to play out?"
"Go to the garden," Karen urged. "Both of you. If something's happening, it's happening there."
Annie and Mary exchanged glances, then nodded. That was where everyone else probably was by now too. It was time to find out what the next step was. If God was involved, than the entire playing field had changed. If not, then they needed to figure out what the hell their next step was.
Metatron was white as a sheet, but standing his ground in an almost amusing fashion. "You cannot disappear and leave your children on their own for millenia, then suddenly show up and pretend they are still accountable to you," he accused.
"I left to allow you to grow and experience the free will I gifted humanity, Metatron," the disembodied voice explained sternly. "If I helped you with ever little thing forever, you could never grow. Some of you learned easily, some with great difficulty, but at least they were learning. You, Metatron, saw only an opportunity to hurt your siblings."
It was clear that that was not how Metatron saw it, but he looked properly chastised regardless. "Heaven needed my guidance," he insisted.
"Who is left to guide?" The voice asked, incredulous. "All I see is an empty kingdom full of souls you are treating as enemies. The beauty and majesty of Heaven has darkened under the weight of your revenge, Metatron. Where once I saw my noble scribe, now I see a shriveled mockery. It is not too late for you to seek redemption, but you must come back to me. There is much I will forgive. Further rebellion, however, cannot be tolerated. I will not allow you to cause your siblings continued suffering for your imagined slights."
"Imagined?" Metatron bristled. "You can't just dismiss all that they have done to me!"
"The beauty of free will, Metatron, is that it allows for people and angels alike to make poor decisions and to learn from them. You dismiss the apologies and repentance from your siblings who have wronged you, as though they are meaningless." The voice sounded disappointed. "In denying forgiveness, Metatron, you have allowed a festering wound to grow that will only continue to damage you and others."
"Are you hearing this?" Bobby whispered in awe.
"I'll let you know after I finish wrapping my head around the 'God' thing," John whispered back.
"Holy crap," Ellen muttered under her breath, leaning against Bill for support.
"That's probably considered blasphemy, hon," Bill said softly, grinning when Ellen snorted in response.
Metatron was either in deep thought or sulking, it was unclear which, and there was a disconcerting silence over the garden. It was still a twisted mash up between the water and rose gardens, and it was disturbing how two beautiful places mashed together could be so ugly. Jo, Pamela, and Ash were all exchanging glances, trying to decide if this lull was permission to pull the lever, or if they should wait until the voice that was apparently God gave them the okay.
As if on cue, the voice spoke again, now addressing the souls. "Hunters, I am pleased to see you all together. I'm sure you're aware that Heaven is not designed for you all to group together as you have, but I will admit to a certain pleasure in seeing you all gravitate towards each other. I know you are a comfort to each other, and I cannot begrudge you that."
There was a pause, because nobody really knew if they were supposed to respond to that, until Ash finally hollered, "Thanks!" in the general direction of the sky.
"You're welcome." The voice was amused. "I have met each of you, whether you were aware of it or not, and I am equally impressed by your dedication to help your friends still on Earth, not to mention my own angels, banned from their home. For that, you have my gratitude. Please, proceed with your mission, and return to the Roadhouse in peace. You have earned your eternity of rest."
After a brief lull, Ash, Pamela, and Jo all lurched for the lever, pulling with all their might. "Little help, please?" Pamela yelled in the general direction of John, Bobby, Bill, and Ellen.
The men immediately moved to help with the lever, but Ellen paused halfway across the distance. "Where are Mary and Annie?" She asked, not really directing the question at anyone in particular. There hadn't necessarily been a designated meeting area, but she was surprised they hadn't shown up at the garden yet.
"Here!" Mary called from behind her, coming into view with Annie in tow. "We're fine, and Karen's good too."
Bobby and John both relaxed as Mary came into view and spoke, turning to give their complete attention to the task at hand.
Ellen nodded, relieved. "Okay, you went back to the Roadhouse," she breathed with a sigh. "I was wondering where you'd gone off to. I guess everyone's here now."
Mary looked around, counting heads without speaking aloud. "No..." she mused, brow furrowed. "Did Chuck never come back?"
The prophet had left them before they left for their respective missions, but it had been the assumption that he was coming back. Now that everyone had reconnected but there was no sign of him, the absence seemed unusual.
"Uh, Sir?" Ellen aimed the tentative question at the sky, completely unsure how one was meant to appropriately address a deity. She didn't have a problem insulting the minor ones on Earth, on the random chance she actually bumped into one, but now that she was in Heaven, which actually was home to God with a big 'G', she felt like a little respect was probably in order.
The voice chuckled slightly. "Yes, Ellen Harvelle?"
"Yeah, hi there. So, we're all accounted for except the prophet, Chuck. Skinny guy, black hair, knows a lot about Heaven. We know when he left, but not where he was going." Ellen scratched the back of her head, not knowing how to continue. "I don't suppose you know where he got off to?"
"Do not concern yourself with Chuck Shurley," the voice said calmly. "You will not see him again, but he is perfectly safe. No harm will ever befall a soul in Heaven, you have my word."
Ellen wasn't entirely sure that was an answer, but decided to let it go. Motioning for Annie and Mary to follow her, they made for the group of hunters around the lever, which was moving very slowly under their combined efforts.
"This," Bobby huffed, clearly out of breath, "Is a damned pain in the ass."
"No swearing in Heaven," Jo snarked at him, winking.
"Nobody ever gives me lip for swearing in the Roadhouse," Bobby protested.
Jo rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but in the Roadhouse we don't literally have God supervising."
Ellen chuckled. "We can debate the morality of profanity later. Pull the damn lever."
Everyone laughed at that, pulling at the lever with renewed gusto. They'd all watched the archangels do the lever on Earth, but all that had been was some kind of rift into which their vessels' hands had disappeared. This was a proper physical lever, and it was heavy. Perhaps it was designed to enforce teamwork, because there was no way one of them could do it alone.
Metatron stood to the side watching the hunters work together to pull the lever and end the revenge he had planned, manipulated, and worked so hard for. "I can't let you just overturn what I've worked for!" He shouted at the sky, but made no move to stop the hunters from pulling the lever.
"You were wrong, Metatron. I need for you to see the error of your ways and repent, or there will be severe consequences." The voice was stern.
Continuing to watch the hunters, Metatron shook his head, but still didn't move. His face was torn in internal conflict. "You will forgive the archangels too?" He asked.
"Those that are repentant have my forgiveness," the voice replied. "I am hoping to one day bring them all home."
"Even Lucifer?" Metatron asked skeptically.
"It is not for you to know what Lucifer's fate is. His heart is his own, and he is fully aware of the consequences of his decisions, as are all my angels. You included. I can only hope you choose wisely." The voice was solemn in response.
"I don't know what to do," Metatron admitted, seeming upset with that realization.
Punctuating that statement, with a very final sounding click that shook the group, the lever sank into place.