Chapter 12 - Closing
"Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked.
"Yes, Claire. The world outside, your world, it's not for me anymore. It's not for us." Said Sherry.
"Us? Are you and Jake..." I started.
"It's not that. Our relationship is different. Even so, I shouldn't have to explain anything to you, after all, you and the doctor are surely..."
"You're right. Let's not get into that." Said I.
An awkward silence formed between us.
"Sherry... I'm sorry..."
"Stop, I don't want to hear it." Said she, turning her gaze to the side. When her eyes returned to me, she spoke in a way to leave no room for discussion. "Let's just live, from now on, each in our own way. And if we ever meet again, we'll talk all about how happy we've been living so far, like old friends do."
I nodded. "Then, farewell."
"Goodbye."
-/-
"What do you mean, you didn't find her?"
No one spoke a word. We just looked down.
"You know what, I don't care, I said, do not return until you've found her!"
Silence again.
O'Brian got fed up. "Chris!" He said. "Report!"
Chris looked up and started, in a voice devoid of emotion. "We followed the target's trails throughout Russian territory until the target allegedly purchased a water vehicle and escaped to the sea. Our attempts to locate the target in the sea have yielded no results. We believe the target has reached shore at an unknown location, presently unidentified. A squad's chances of locating the target are minimal to none in this circumstances, so we decided to regroup and devise a new strategy."
O'Brian quietly studied the situation, after a brief moment, he said: "And what would be the new strategy?"
In a face devoid of emotion, Chris said: "We have found no working strategy, sir."
O'Brian couldn't hide his disappointment. He slowly facepalmed as he retreated behind his desk. "Dismissed." Said he.
-/-
No medals had been earned in that mission, to anyone involved.
In a past life I'd considered it a failure, a source of shame and regret.
But this time I was left with something completely different. Something positive.
Against all odds, I was successful. Against myself, I prevailed and found the new meaning of emotions.
One that propels me higher than any thrill, that takes me farther than any voyage, a simpler meaning than 'winning' or 'obtaining' or 'reaching' anything solid. It's a drive that changes the filters blocking my vision, that changes the faith of what is possible and feasible, it brings back creatures from ages past, and sensations from a time in which I didn't even exist. To exist and to co-exist are equal when your heart and your soul become the same.
Today I live, not because I exist, or because I breathe, or because I feel; today I live, because my peace permits my ideal to be reality.