A/N: This chapter is named after the song Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots (overused and cliched, I know, but it fits remarkably well), and it's sort of mostly made up of loose ends... Just getting to the end of exam season, mostly, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! :)
(Also, random life update: I got into uni!)
Chapter 32: Stressed Out
"Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days"
The ensuing months after the attack were, for various reasons, some of the hardest of Albus' life so far. First of all, the attacks by the Pureblood Knights continued, and at times it seemed that there was no end in sight. Albus and his group now met in the Room of Requirement as often as they were able to, and yet it still didn't feel enough. If the school ever came under attack, Albus was certain they wouldn't be so lucky again
Each morning he woke up afraid of what he would read in the Daily Prophet, and each day, throughout lessons and during countless revision sessions in the Library with Rose and Scorpius, he found himself thinking about how pointless it all seemed. He loved learning, and absorbing new knowledge, but not when there were other, more pressing, matters at hand.
Secondly, no one would let him forget what had happened on St. Patrick's Day, no matter what their opinion of his actions. He found himself being subject to snide remarks almost as often as he was congratulated. He completely failed to understand why people couldn't just let him be, but of course people had to project their ideas of his father or of his House onto him at any given opportunity.
Sean, Terrence, and Hasnain had taken to calling him 'Saint Potter' whenever they saw him in the Hall or in the corridor, and they were convinced that his actions were part of some ploy to convince the rest of the school that Slytherin weren't bad, that Albus had somehow known that the glass was going to shatter. It was bloody ridiculous, but Albus couldn't risk letting them know how much their words got to him, let alone get in another fight, as much as he wanted. He came close a couple of times.
One evening, about a week or so before the Sixth Year exams were due to start, Albus was taking one of his usual solitary nighttime strolls around the castle to help clear his head. He hadn't bothered taking the map with him, assuming that no one else would be stupid enough to be up so late so close to exams, but he was of course proved swiftly wrong.
"Look who it is!" A voice exclaimed. Albus cringed internally as he rounded the corner and surveyed the scene in front of him. Together with Emma and Samantha, two of the girls who had been a part of the group of Gryffindors who had once teased Albus incessantly, was Sean, Terrence and Hasnain. Of course.
"Ah, Saint Potter!" Sean said, smirking, "Come to grace us with his holy presence."
Everyone around him laughed and high-fived each other. Albus took a wary step back, assessing all of the possible exits. If they would even let him get that far away.
"How does it feel to be the hero for once in your life?" Samantha asked, flipping her ponytail. Albus resisted the almost overwhelming urge to roll his eyes.
"Oh, I'm not gonna lie, it feels pretty damned good," Albus responded, crossing his arms.
"Please," Sean snorted, "It's obviously just a dirty trick he has up his sleeve."
"Excuse me?" Albus asked. He could feel rage rising within him, desperate to be let loose and hex the Gryffindors before him into oblivion. Instead, he took a deep breath, and continued, "If it weren't for me, a lot of people could have been injured. Or worse. You should be thanking me, not accusing me of something completely unfounded."
"I don't believe it for a second," Terrence said. From next to him, Hasnain and Sean nodded. Emma simply smiled indulgently at him as Albus tried not to gag at the sight, "You've always been the dark horse of your family. Why would any of that change now?"
"I'm not the dark horse… What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Albus frowned.
"Are you sure?" Samantha asked, taking a step forwards, "Your brother, an Auror, your sister, a Quidditch star, and you… A Slytherin. It seems like you're the only sibling who lets your House define you."
"Maybe if any of you bothered to get to know me instead of making all of these ridiculous assumptions!" Albus threw his arms up in the air; he was getting close to just letting go, to letting his wandless magic do the talking, but he kept the gate in his mind firmly shut. As compensation for that, he tried as casually as possible to feel about in his pocket for his wand.
It was a bad move; in seconds he had five wands all pointed at him.
"Really?" He demanded, putting his arms up in front of him in a pathetic kind of surrender, "Are we really going to do this now? We have exams on Monday, do you really -"
"Shut up, Potter," Hasnain spat, not lowering his wand.
"It's funny, isn't it?" Emma said, smiling, "How he doesn't want to fight now loverboy isn't about."
"What?" Albus asked, wondering what the hell she was on about.
"Don't act like you don't know what we're on about." Sean said, taking a step forward, "You and Scorpius."
"What?" Albus said again, raising his eyebrow. He froze as he realised the implication of his words; they really thought -
"If Scorpius were here, you'd probably be hexing us right now." Sean said, "It just seems a little suspicious, is all."
"Is your masculinity really so fragile that you think two guys can't be best friends?" Albus asked, his mind still reeling in a way he wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with, "Well. Whatever. I'm out of here."
With that, he turned on his heel and practically sprinted back to his dorm, though not without flipping them the bird before he hightailed it out of there. They had no idea what they were on about, of course. Somehow that didn't make him feel better at all.
"Hey, Albus!" Albus was shaken from his stupor of studying and revision in the Library by a familiar figure sliding into the seat opposite his. He glanced up, but Scorpius, who had been his study partner for the past few hours, was nowhere to be seen.
"Uh..." Albus froze at the sight of Angela in front of him, looking much the same as she always had. The same long, untameable brown hair, the same brown eyes, the same smile. Like she had never even broken his heart; no, broken wasn't strong enough a word.
Over the past few months, Albus found that he had gradually come to remember more and more of the argument. If he thought hard enough about it, he could just about remember running out of the Great Hall and heading towards the kitchens. He remembered it anew, with Angela sitting right there in front of him, and had to try and suppress the seething anger that was beginning to build up inside of him.
"What do you want?" He asked eventually, after Angela had broken their impromptu staring match. He was unable to hide the venom in his voice, but Angela didn't seem to notice it at all.
"I just came to apologise," She said, sounding genuinely sincere.
"Can't you see I'm busy?" Albus gestured to the desk around him, piled high with books, "Not all of us can rely on our popularity alone."
"Albus, please, just hear me out," She implored. Albus sighed and met her gaze once more, "What I said was wrong, and deceitful, and I feel so, so bad about it all. I've thought about it a lot since that night and honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. And… I know we can never go back to being what we were, but I really did value your friendship, and I would hate to lose it."
Albus cleared his throat, "Fine. I forgive you. It's clear it was just one mistake… As long as that's not how you truly do feel then I think I'd like to stay friends with you."
"Oh, of course!" Angela was positively beaming, "We did have some good times. I'm just sorry my big mouth got in the way."
"It's no problem," Albus replied awkwardly, "Well. See you around, I suppose. Good luck in your exams."
Thankfully taking it as her cue to leave, Angela rose to her feet, before suddenly and unexpectedly wrapping Albus up in a hug. As nice as it was, it still all felt rather awkward, and Albus was glad when she let go and disappeared behind a bookshelf, where Scorpius had just appeared, clutching a heavy stack of books.
"What did she want?" He asked, glaring at her retreating figure.
"To be friends," Albus said as Scorpius took the seat opposite Albus, "Oh, good, you got that Potions book I've been looking for."
"And?" Scorpius probed, flipping through the pages of an ancient looking tome on different types of seeds.
"And I said yes..."
"What? Why?"
"Because she apologised, and I'm a nice person."
Scorpius simply rolled his eyes, "Come on, we have our first exam tomorrow. I can live without any more drama between you guys."
"You're not the only one," Albus said, getting stuck into his studying. Merlin, he really couldn't wait until these exams were over. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of having to focus on such inconsequential things as Charms or Potions when there were real, serious problems still happening out there in the world. He had never felt so useless.
In the end, the Sixth Year exams were without a doubt the most difficult exams Albus had ever taken. The gap between O. and N.E. had never been more apparent than when he had turned over the paper in his first exam, Charms, to realise he barely understand a thing written on the page, and that was still relatively easy compared to the practical!
He hoped he had redeemed himself somewhat by demonstrating his wandless magic and how far it had developed, but the way Flitwick had tutted at his aguamenti charm had been rather telling. Then again, the water wasn't supposed to be green…
By the time it was over, Albus was ready to sleep for an entire week straight. He didn't think he had ever drunk so much coffee or been so sleep deprived in his life, and the effects of it were beginning to take a toll. By the time his last exam rolled around, after two almost solid weeks of testing, he felt like he had been put through a blender, a device which he only knew about as it had been on his Muggle Studies exam. As if he would ever have need of a blender!
"At least it's over," Rose said as she, Albus and Scorpius sat outside in the sun by the Forbidden Forest. Somehow, summer had arrived without anybody noticing, and it was a welcome respite from the hellish hours spent hurriedly scratching quills on paper or revising in the Library or Common Room at all hours of the day.
"And the sun is shining!" Albus sighed and lay down, letting himself soak up the sun. He had even taken his robe off, for possibly the first time that year. The breeze was refreshing and ever so slightly cool, bringing with it the musky scents of wildflowers, "It's a miracle. Although, actually, if you used Hume's definition of -"
"No philosophy," Rose said, glaring at him from where she lay in the sun, a book lying unopened on the grass next to her, "No anything."
"I think exams have broken you," Scorpius mused, poking his friend in the shoulder. When that elicited no reaction, he tried again. Instead of her usual angry outburst, Rose simply rolled over, groaning.
"Stop." She whispered, "I'm going to sleep now."
"When do you want us to wake you up?" Albus asked, suppressing a laugh at Rose's expression. It was the one he usually found her pulling when she was six hours into a major study session, one of deep, pensive thought.
"Never." She responded eventually, arranging her robes underneath her head to form a pillow before shutting her eyes with a definite decidedness.
"This is usually the part where I'd say 'this summer is going to be amazing'," Scorpius said, pulling his sleeves up and leaning back with a sigh, "But I fear it would be rather premature."
"Less big words," Rose grumbled from beside him.
"Then we'll have to try and make it amazing." Albus said, "We still have a few months left at school, remember?"
"The teachers are simply too kind for scheduling the Sixth Year exams first," Scorpius rolled his eyes.
"We have two months left," Albus reminded him, "Anything could happen in that time. The Aurors might be able to defeat the Pureblood Knights by then, you never know."
"Wishful thinking? How unlike you," Scorpius' gaze drifted towards the lake, where the breeze was rippling gently across the still water. Lurking just under the water, however, Albus could just about make out one of the squid's tentacles, ready to strike at any moment.
"Wishful thinking is about all that's keeping me sane right now," Albus admitted, watching Scorpius silently as he frowned, his gaze still on the water.
"I wish I could be just a little more optimistic about all this," Scorpius spoke slowly, as if considering his words with the utmost care, "But… What with the baby due any day now, and – I got another letter from Dad this morning."
Albus sat up immediately, trying to ignore the way the world span around him. Merlin, he really did need a decent night's sleep, "And? What did he say?"
"He…" Scorpius glanced around, ensuring that they were totally alone. They were, of course; the other students were very rarely as willing to come down to the Forbidden Forest as Albus and his friends were. As sunny and warm as the weather may have been, most students still had exams, and so there were relatively few people to be seen outside at all.
Shaking his head, he continued, "He thinks he's being watched – that the house, I mean, is being watched. Says there have been people outside most days and nights recently, suspicious people in dark cloaks."
"And he thinks it's the Pureblood Knights?" Albus leaned forward, ignoring the sudden twinge of anxiety in his stomach.
"With good reason," Scorpius said. Albus nodded grimly as he continued, "It's just… Why us? Why now? How did they possibly find us? Mum and Dad stayed away from this world for exactly this reason. They thought they were safe, and now..."
"And now?"
"I think they're going to go stay at your parents'..." Scorpius said, still gazing listlessly out at the waters, which were becoming choppy as the wind began to pick up.
"At Grimmauld Place?" Albus could hardly believe his ears.
"Is that going to be a problem, do you think?" Scorpius asked, biting his lip. He looked tense, his knuckles stretched right over bone as he clenched his fists at his sides. Albus wished he could reassure him, wished he could make him smile again, wished he could make him see that perhaps, just perhaps, they would get through this, together, as they always did.
"I shouldn't think so, it's so old and massive, we have loads of spare rooms," Albus smiled at the thought of his childhood home. He had seen photographs of it from when his parents first moved in, and he was forever grateful that they had spent so much time renovating it before he and his siblings had been born. Far from the dank, dreary house it had once been, it was now most definitely a home.
"Wow. Our house is tiny, it's this little two bedroom terrace..." Scorpius trailed off, his expression filled suddenly with a sadness and longing that Albus recognised all too well, "I guess it might not be my home anymore."
"Don't say that!" Albus shuffled across the grass so that he was next to him "Even if you're not there for a little while, it'll still be home. And hey, you might be coming to live with me! Surely that'll more than make up for it."
"You ass," Scorpius said, smirking slightly. Albus glanced back over at Rose, who didn't quite shut her eyes quickly enough. He smiled and shook his head.
"You know, if I've got you guys, I think I can get through anything. We all can." Albus said, as droplets of rain began to fall, forming beautiful patterns across the surface of the Lake.
"Gross!" Rose protested, no longer trying to keep up the pretence of being asleep. She got to her feet, yawning widely, before coming to join Albus and Scorpius by the lakeside. Her hair was a frizzy mess that brushed against Albus' cheek as she leaned in, "But true. We're in this together, right?"
"Always," Albus said, smiling. Scorpius nodded from beside him, still watching the Lake with wary eyes.
The three of them sat by the Lake even as rain began to fall in fat raindrops that soaked to the skin in mere seconds. It felt to Albus that this was about as good as things were going to get for the foreseeable future.
"Come on, we'd better head back," Scorpius said at last. He was quite a sight, with his blonde hair plastered to his head, almost blending in seamlessly with his pallid complexion. He got to his feet, sending water flying in all directions, and offered Albus his hand, which he took gratefully, aware that if he got up too quickly, he would probably fall right back onto the rain-soaked ground.
"That's the most sensible thing you've said in months," Rose said, pulling her robe up so it was above her head. Her hair was almost flat, too, and it took every ounce of politeness in Albus' body not to poke fun at her, "I see you, Albus. One word about the hair and you're dead meat."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Albus said nonchalantly as they ambled back to the Castle. Rose smiled gratefully and elected to put her robe on properly. The damage had already been done, after all.
"Well, Rose, you have been a little flat lately, I've noticed," Scorpius laughed.
"I hate you, Scorpius Malfoy. I hate you a lot," Rose grumbled.
"The feeling is, of course, mutual, Rose Weasley." Scorpius said smugly. Albus rolled his eyes.
"Can't we all just learn to get along?" He said, draping an arm across each of their shoulders.
"Ugh, disgusting," Rose said, trying to wriggle her way out of Albus' grip. When she realised she couldn't, she opted for simply jabbing him, hard, in the stomach, and running away through the pouring rain, laughing gleefully. Letting his other arm drop, Albus raced after her, ignoring the way the sodden ground threw bits of mud up onto his trousers and the way the rain pelted every inch of him.
When he at last caught up to her, his cousin had pulled her wand on him, but mercifully she was giggling too hard to cast any sort of spell or hex on him. In seconds, Scorpius had caught up to the pair of them, and with a nod to Albus, they both tried to tackle her. She was faster than she looked, however, and managed to dodge them, as unable as she still was to use her wand.
"Go on, then!" She shouted between short gasps of breathless laughter, "Come and get me, boys!"
Rising to the challenge, Albus feinted left, while Scorpius went right, and in seconds all three of them were piled on the floor, a sodden, shivering, giggling pile. Albus could have stayed there forever, despite the distinct cold he felt leaking into his clothes. His sides had begun to ache and he was in pain all over from where Rose had begun to poke him with her wand, but his spirit felt elated. Where he would be, who he would be, without Rose, and without Scorpius, he simply didn't know.
"My book!" Rose screeched suddenly, scrambling to her feet. Surveying the grounds of Hogwarts, which had become rather grey and dull with the constant, driving sheets of rain, she let out a pathetic whine and stomped her foot, "Merlin be damned!"
Sighing at his cousin, Albus untangled himself from Scorpius with the utmost caution and pulled himself to his feet beside her, "I'll get it."
"Really? Oh, Al, it's probably ruined by now, you needn't -"
"Race you!" Scorpius called, already beginning to jog down the hill.
"We'll work something out," Albus grinned mischievously in Rose's direction as he sprinted after Scorpius, making sure to let his best friend know that he was a dirty cheat.
"No chance," Albus muttered as he spotted the book in the distance, lying dejected on the soaked grass. He made a beeline towards it just as Scorpius overtook him once more. As one, they leapt at the book, but it was well and truly too late. The book simply fell apart in their hands, a soggy mush of paper that was beyond all chance of repair.
"I'm never racing you again," Albus wheezed. His lungs were screaming at him as he sucked in great big gulps of air. At the same time, he had never felt more alive than he did just then, with the rain beating ceaselessly down around him as Scorpius tried and failed to wipe the rain from his eyes.
"Ditto," Was all Scorpius could say to that. His cheeks were flushed bright red from the effort of running, but there was a mischievous sparkle in his eyes that Albus was glad to see again.
"See?" Albus said, gesturing about himself, "Life's not all that bad, is it?"
"You're right," Scorpius admitted rather grudgingly, once he could speak properly again, "It's just a shame that the bad moments seem to massively outweigh the moments like these."
"I'd say the moments like these mean more than the bad moments," Albus mused as he pulled the hair from his eyes and mouth at long last, "So it's important to hold on to them, so that when the bad moments come, you can think on times like this and remember what this living thing's all about."
"That this is a high point in my life so far says a lot about me, doesn't it?" Scorpius asked, shaking the rain from his hair, as fruitless as it may have been. He seemed to be positively crackling with electricity and adrenaline, balancing on his tiptoes as he let the rain wash over him. Albus' heart felt distinctly lighter at the sight of him so happy and so free of all cares. His stomach flipped, but not in an entirely unpleasant way, kind of like butterflies. He shook his head, continuing to let the rain wash over him.
"You mean you didn't already realise you were a complete loser?" Albus teased. Scorpius turned on him, a menacing expression across his face.
"Of course, I just don't like to be reminded." Scorpius lunged for him, but Albus knew him too well. He ducked, before running off in the direction of the castle. Seconds later, Scorpius had overtaken him again.
"Not again!" Albus meant to grab his shoulder, to push him down and overtake him, but somehow in all of the pandemonium he had managed to grab hold of Scorpius' hand, and the pair of them ran back up the hill to Hogwarts together, hand in hand, to where Rose was waiting in the courtyard, drying herself off with hot air from her wand. Her eyebrow quirked upwards at the sight of the two of them hand in hand, so Albus let his hand drop, almost reluctantly, surprisingly relieved to be under shelter.
"My book?" Rose asked, as she turned her wand onto her hair. In seconds, it was beginning to fluff up back into its usual untameable style.
"A lost cause," Scorpius said, sounding genuinely sad.
"Oh, what am I going to do with you two?" Rose sighed, but the look in her eyes was tender, compassionate, "Now come on, you'd better dry off before you catch your death of cold.'
"Okay, mum!" Albus said. He was trying to dry himself using only the 'power of his mind,' as Zabini liked to call it, without much success, until Rose jabbed him in the side with his own wand. Frowning at her, he took it, and set to drying himself quickly.
"Someone has to be the mum friend around here," Rose said proudly, "And Merlin knows what you two would do without me."
"I dread to even imagine," Scorpius said, from the outer corner of the courtyard where he had been drying himself off. His hair was sticking up in all directions, and it was possibly the funniest thing Albus had ever seen. He wished he had a camera, just to capture the sight. Catching his gaze, Scorpius stuck his tongue out and hurriedly flattened down his hair.
"Did no one consider that to get into the school, we would have to go back into the rain?" Albus asked, watching the rain as it continued to fall as hard as it ever had. From the sheepish expressions on his friends' faces, no, they had not considered it.
"We can wait until it dies down," Scorpius suggested, settling down into a bench to watch the beautiful vista of the rolling hills surrounding Hogwarts, which further out gave way to mountains which were mostly obscured by the fog.
"It's not like we have exams to worry about," Rose said, sitting down in between them with a heavy sigh, "And it really is beautiful… In a miserable, dreary way. It's perfect for you, Al."
"Shut up," He responded, "I'm not miserable or dreary."
Rose and Scorpius shared a look. Albus simply sat back, admiring the view, and the newfound freedom he felt. He could almost have flown, he felt so happy, so at peace with the world.
"Good evening, everybody," Albus suppressed a sigh and settled into his seat, ready for another speech from Headmaster Shacklebolt about inclusivity and inter-house harmony. He ran a hand through his still slightly damp hair and tried to ignore the rumbling in his stomach as Shacklebolt continued.
"It gives me great pleasure to announce that Hogwarts will this year be hosting a masquerade ball, which is something of a tradition at Salem Academy. All years will be welcome, and we hope to make it the grandest event Hogwarts has seen in quite some time… Excepting the Yule Ball, of course." He grinned as students began talking excitedly amongst themselves.
"It will be held on the 31st of May, the last day of exams. That should give you plenty of times to get your masks and outfits sorted. As our exchange students will be leaving the week after, I believe this will serve as a worthy send off. I hope to see you all there," Shacklebolt was still smiling as he nodded and headed back to the teacher's table, where he struck up an animated conversation with Professor Cohen, the Headmaster of Salem.
Albus was stunned; he certainly hadn't expected an announcement like that. In his mind, he was already wondering how he could pull off wearing the same robes as he had worn to the Yule Ball and what sort of mask he would like to wear. The thought of all the potential laughter and dancing and forgetting about everything that was happening made him smile wistfully.
Stella and Rose were deep in conversation about who they thought was going to ask who, and who they thought should ask who. Albus found it amusing; Rose hated the word 'love' when it applied to her in any sense, but the second it came to matchmaking or snooping on somebody else's love life, she was there in an instant. It was as if she could sniff out gossip from a mile away, and luckily she had Stella, who was always willing to give it.
"Got your eye on anybody?" Albus asked Scorpius, more for conversation than anything else, as he picked absently at his food. Scorpius simply gave him a withering look in response, "Really? Not thinking of asking Mairi?"
"Albus, please, I'm trying to eat," Scorpius said through a mouthful of mashed potato, "Do you really need to bring her up right now?"
"Sorry..." Albus paused, thinking, "Hey, I have a great idea!"
"You? A great idea?" Scorpius looked at him warily.
"Oh come on, I've had at least… Two great ideas." Albus rolled his eyes as Scorpius grinned at him.
"So? What is this idea?" Scorpius probed, obviously trying his hardest to look disinterested.
"Well, I think we should go to the masquerade ball thing together." Albus said, pausing for dramatic effect. It made sense; it wasn't as if either of them were looking for dates, and he would probably have a much better time with Scorpius than with some other person, constantly wondering when they were going to flip out on him as Angela had.
"What?" Scorpius spluttered, almost slamming his flask of pumpkin juice on the table.
"Alright, it's not that bad an idea… I mean as friends, of course, and I don't know. It made more sense in my head." Albus blushed involuntarily, wondering if perhaps he shouldn't have spoken at all, "If you have someone else in mind..."
"No, of course not..." Scorpius picked his flask back up and took a slow, cautiously sip, avoiding Albus' gaze, "I think that is a great idea."
"Told you!" Albus positively beamed, "Man, it's going to be awesome… No pressure, no constantly worrying if you're going to freak out on me… Though maybe you will, I never know with you."
"Rude," Scorpius said, but it was clear that he was fighting to keep the smile from his own face.
"Me? Never," Albus punched him in the arm, "But seriously. Thanks. It's not too late to back out though, you know… If someone else catches your eye."
"There's no one else," Scorpius said, blushing suddenly and clearing his throat.
"Excellent," Albus said, tucking back into his dinner. He felt a strange kind of pang in his chest at the idea of Scorpius attending the masquerade ball with anyone else, then sighed at his own stupidity. Like he had any say in the matter. Still, the feeling wouldn't go away, not even when Marcus asked Stella and they began kissing at the table, much to everyone else's disgust.
Next: The Third Task, and it's going to be nothing like the others. :)