Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Katie wouldn't have to worry about missing Grey's tonight because of a family dinner because she would know what was going to happen. She would have known what was going to happen for months. Alas we don't own it but Happy Grey's Day!
I woke up next to Meredith on a rainy Sunday morning two weeks after her doctor's appointment and after a wonderful Saturday night spent with Dillon and Sam, talking about the baby. Dillon had taken the ultrasound picture and put it on his bedside table, talking animatedly to it almost every night and morning. It was adorable and as I woke up next to the love of my life, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
And finally Meredith had decided it was time to tell my family, so now everything would be complete. Because this amazing happiness that had me constantly smiling would be shared with the rest of the people I loved most. And it would be great. Meredith was terrified, but it wasn't her usual terrified, she was even feeling the happiness. I loved this, this was what I had always dreamed of.
I moved over to cuddle her, putting my hand gently on her stomach, where there was the tiniest of bumps. Meredith insisted her stomach was still flat, but as I ran my hand down her body, I could feel the way it curved, even just a little bit. I pulled her closer to me, feeling an immense amount of pride, joy, and love and kissed her softly.
"I'm happy," I sighed, well happily.
"You're waking me up," she giggled slightly as she cuddled further into my arms.
"I want you awake," I said pressing a soft kiss on her shoulder.
"I thought you wanted me to sleep," she said, reminding me of the conversation we'd had the night before. I had insisted she needed to sleep, not stay up all night and have sex.
"I want you to sleep at night. But it's morning now," I told her, kissing her neck.
She turned around in my arms and we laid there, face to face, small smiles on both of our faces. "You're so demanding," she giggled.
"You love the demanding," I laughed.
She kissed me very softly and then pulled away, her smile replaced by a worried frown. "Derek," she murmured, "will your mom be angry?"
"What? Why would my mom be angry?" I asked, confusion marring my features.
"Because we're not married," she sighed. "We're not married and we're having a baby."
"My mom is going to be thrilled," I smiled at her. "She's going to be on cloud fifty. Every year since I turned 25 she has asked me if I'm going to give her grand children ever, so she will be thrilled."
"Maybe we shouldn't tell her yet," she whispered. "Maybe we should wait another month or two. Until I'm showing, maybe."
"Mer, hun, you're already showing a little. We see my mom once a week. We can't keep it hidden," I rubbed my hand over her stomach.
"I'm not showing," she hit my arm lightly. "Not yet."
"There's a bit of a bump," I smiled at her.
"There is not!" she insisted. "Is there?"
"Yep. It's tiny but it's there," I said, rolling her onto her back and giving her belly a quick kiss.
She giggled and ran her fingers through my hair. "I doubt your mom will be able to tell for another month or so," she said.
"My mother is a very frightening person," I said seriously.
"Derek, I can't even see my bump and the only reason you can see it is because you sleep with me," she stated. "There's no way she'll know."
"Meredith, I'm telling you the woman is scary. When Leah had her last one my mom told her she was pregnant. Told her before Leah even knew," I said.
Meredith stared at me, her eyes wide. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," I nodded.
"Then I guess we'll have to tell her," Meredith sighed. "She hasn't canceled again this week, has she?"
"Nope, you're stuck," I laughed, kissing her again.
"Mark thinks she's dating someone," she said, looking me in the eye. "Would you be okay with that?"
"I don't know," I said, rolling around. "It would be weird, wouldn't it?"
"I guess," she shrugged. "Has she been single since your dad died?"
"Yeah, she's always just been mom, she doesn't date," I pouted slightly.
She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled, leaning forward but suddenly pulled back as our bedroom door burst open and Dillon came running in, Sam in his arms. "Morning!" he shouted as he jumped on the bed.
"Morning, bud," I greeted him, pulling him down between Meredith and I.
"Sam wants pancakes," he grinned at me.
"Of course he does," Meredith giggled.
"Does my brother want pancakes too?" he asked Meredith.
"Your brother or sister could use some," Meredith said smiling at her son.
"Daddy Derek, my brother wants pancakes," he grinned at me, wrapping his arms around my neck.
"You will get your pancakes," I laughed, hugging him close.
"What are we doing today?" he asked, yawning slightly.
"We're going to Grandma's for supper. It's time to tell her about your little sister," I told him. That was my new plan, every time I mentioned the baby it was a girl. I was hoping it would lead to him accepting the idea.
"Brother," he corrected me with a stern look.
"Sister," I said, meeting his look with one of my own.
"Brother," he said again.
"Sister," I said. Dillon did not have me beat. Mark and I had been having these fights since I was Dillon's age. I was king of word fights.
"Brother," he stared at me.
"Sister," I stared back.
"Brother. Brother. Brother," he sang.
"Sister. Sister. Sister," I sang back.
"Okay, okay," Meredith laughed. "I didn't realize I was raising two six year olds."
"I would have won," I laughed back. "You didn't have to interrupt."
"He's six, Derek," she sighed, giving me one hell of a stern look.
"He can take it. Can't you, bud?" I asked him, ruffling his hair.
"I'll win when Mommy's not here," he grinned at me. "Daddy Derek, did you know my daddy's getting married and I'm going to be a bear?"
For a second I had no reply. Dillon was by far the most precious child I had ever come across, and just when I thought he couldn't leave me speechless again, he did. "I'm sure you will be great," I tried not to laugh.
I smiled at Meredith over Dillon and noticed that she was looking a little pale, which meant she was feeling nauseous. I gave her a sympathetic smile just as Dillon jumped up with Sam in his arms. "Can I have my pancakes now?" he laughed, jumping a little bit.
"Bud, stop jumping," I said, getting out of bed and hoping he would follow me.
"Why?" he said. "It's fun." It was going to be one of his why days.
"Your mommy isn't feel very well right now. Remember when we talked about the baby making her sick?" I said, grabbing him off the bed and into my arms.
"Daddy Derek!" he squealed and then wrapped his arms around my neck. "Tell my brother to stop making Mommy sick."
"I wish I could," I told him, looking over at Mer who still looked pale. "You okay, Mer?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "I'll be down in a bit. And, uh, toast instead of pancakes, I think."
"Okay, Mer. But you have to eat," I told her sternly.
"I know, I know," she nodded and then jumped off the bed, bolting to the bathroom and emptying her stomach.
I fought the urge to run after her, but knew she would rather me watching out for Dillon. "So bud, pancakes," I smiled, walking towards the stairs.
"My brother is being very bad," he said gravely as we went downstairs. "He should get his toys taken away."
"You did the same thing to your mommy when you were in her belly," I told him.
"I did?" he stared at me, his eyes wide.
"You did," I nodded. "And she didn't have us to take care of her."
He nodded seriously as I put him down and then went over to the breadbox, opening it and pulling out the bread. "Mommy said she wants toast. Does my brother like orange juice or apple juice?"
"I think apple juice today, bud," I told him. It would probably be easier on her stomach than the orange juice.
Meredith came downstairs a few minutes later to a Dillon-made plate of toast and a sippy cup of apple juice. "Who made this for me?" she smiled as she sat down.
"I did. Me and Sam did," Dillon said proudly.
"It looks very yummy," she gave him a kiss on the forehead and then shook Sam's paw. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Mommy," he smiled up at her. "Is my baby brother still making you sick?"
"A little," she replied as she took a bite of the toast.
"Daddy Derek said I made you sick when I was in your belly. I'm sorry," Dillon told her, frowning.
"It's okay, Dill," she opened her arms and hugged him. "I was never angry at you. Because you're my Dill."
"Good," Dillon hugged her back. Watching them together was the best feeling in the world, nothing was better than this. Standing in my kitchen and watching my family hug. I had turned into a cheesy woman, I swear. "Daddy Derek and I are here to take care of you this time, Mommy."
She looked at him, tears in her eyes and hugged him a little tighter. "I know, Dill. I love you."
I walked over to them, and wrapped my arms around them both and gave them quick kisses. "Want chocolate chips in your pancakes?" I asked Dillon, my arms still securely around my family.
"Yeah!" he yelled. "Can we make them faces too, Daddy Derek?"
"Sure, bud. But you know that's going to take some more work," I told him, moving from my spot to go search for the chocolate chips. Meredith had a way of putting them one place, and then Izzie would come over and but them somewhere different. They were impossible to keep track of.
He nodded and detached himself from Meredith to help me make breakfast, as was our usual Sunday morning ritual. It felt good to have a ritual with my son. My six year old son who at the moment was probably about to make a huge mess, just like he did every morning. I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like when my baby son or daughter was born. And of course, the thought brought about my idiot grin.
"I was thinking we'd get to Mom's early today, have some time to tell her before everyone shows up," I suggested.
Meredith nearly choked on her toast before turning to look at me. "We're going to tell her separately and then tell everyone else again?" she asked. "I mean...twice?"
"We don't have to, I was just thinking, whatever you find easier, Mer," I shrugged.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I mean, I've never had to do this. I don't know." Her eyes were filling with tears.
"Mer, relax. This is going to be fine. We can tell them all at once, rip off the band aid, no anesthesia," I told her in my most soothing doctor tone.
"Maybe this is a mistake," she sighed. "We should wait. Definitely wait. I mean, they barely know me. They're going to think I'm some kind of a...a...S-L-U-T."
"Meredith, they love you. They are going to be thrilled," I tried to tell her, again.
"Two kids out of marriage," she sighed. "You'd think I could do it right for once."
"But this way makes you so much more interesting," I winked at her. "And this is right, for us it's right."
She sighed and stared at her hands and then looked back up at me. "Okay, let's go early. But you have to tell Mark not to wear cologne. His is worse than yours."
"I'll give him a call," I told her.
She nodded and then stood up, bringing plate and sippy cup to the sink before wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on the back of my shoulder. "Love you," she whispered.
"Love you too," I whispered back.
"And me!" Dillon said from where he was watching me flip the pancakes.
"Of course, bud," I laughed.
"And Sam," he continued.
"And Sam," I nodded.
"And my baby brother."
"And your baby sister," I laughed.
"Brother!" he insisted.
"Sister," I said as I dished the pancakes onto the plate.
"Okay," Meredith laughed as Dillon opened his mouth to object, "you two can continue your argument. I'm going upstairs to shower."
I gave Meredith a quick kiss as she headed upstairs and turned back to our son. "Sister."
The argument continued through out breakfast and then was paused as we got ready to go to my mom's. It was, however, started up again when we got in the car, Dillon buckled tightly in the backseat with Sam. "Daddy Derek."
"Yes?" I asked him.
"Brother."
I laughed, watching Meredith roll her eyes. "Sister."
"Brother," he giggled.
"Sister," I replied.
"Are we going to do this the entire way?" Meredith smiled at me.
"Until I win," I whispered and then turned back to Dillon. "Sister."
"Brother."
"Sister."
"Brother."
"Sister."
"You know what Mommy thinks?" Meredith sighed, the smile gone from her face.
"What?" I asked slightly concerned.
"Mommy thinks this is getting very annoying and the next person who says either brother or sister is getting a time out," she stated firmly, looking between Dillon and me.
"You can't give me a time out," I pouted.
"I can have you sleep on the couch tonight," she snapped.
"You'd be lonely and come find me ten minutes later," I laughed.
"Do you really want to push your luck with this?" she asked. "Do you really want to mess with your pregnant girlfriend who is extremely nervous about telling your mother that she is pregnant with your illegitimate child?"
"Dill, we're going to have to continue this talk when your mom isn't around," I told him, smiling at Meredith.
"I think Mommy's angry at you," he said softly.
"I think she's angry with both of us," I told him solemnly.
"Mommy, we're sorry," Dillon said a little sadly.
"It's okay. Mommy's just a little nervous right now," Meredith answered him.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because we're telling Derek's mommy about your little brother or sister," Meredith turned to look at her son. "And I'm not sure how she's going to take it."
"Mommy," Dillon giggled.
"Dillon," Meredith smiled back.
"You said what you said Daddy Derek and me couldn't say," he laughed. "You get a time out."
I laughed loudly. "He has a point, Mer."
She rolled her eyes and turned in her seat, a frown on her lips. "Children," she muttered.
"You love us both," I told her as I pulled up to my mom's house.
"You're sure about this?" she turned to me, the frown gone and panic settling into her features.
"Yes, I'm sure about this. It's our family, Mer. They need to know," I said, reaching over and squeezing her hand tightly.
"Fine," she sighed and then opened the door, getting out, and moving to the back to help Dillon out.
"Meredith, this will be fine. It will be great," I tried to reassure her as we headed towards the front door.
Again, the front door was thrown open and my mother stood there in her usual apron, a smile on her face. "Derek!" she grinned, hugging me tightly.
"Hey Mom," I said hugging her back. "We thought we'd come early and get some alone time with you."
"Well, I'm not complaining," she smiled and then turned to Meredith, giving her a tight hug. "And Meredith! You're just glowing. You look so much better than I ever did in my first trimesters."
I laughed as Meredith's jaw dropped open in shock. "Told you," I winked.
"When is my grandbaby due?" she asked as she appraised Meredith with a motherly eye.
"September 21st, well sometime around then," I smiled.
"Congratulations!" my mom nearly squealed as she hugged Meredith and then latched herself onto me, hugging me almost too tightly. "I'm finally getting a grandchild from my boy!"
"How...how did you know?" Meredith sputtered.
"I've had five children, Meredith," she answered. "I can just tell from looking at you. You've gained a little bit of weight, especially in the chest and you're glowing. And you look absolutely exhausted. Are you getting enough sleep?"
"No, she's not," I answered for her, putting a protective arm around her. "She won't listen to me. She won't listen to Addison, her doctor. Do you want to lecture her?"
"Yes, I do," my mother nodded firmly. "But first, come in. And Dillon, how are you? Are you excited to get a little brother or sister?"
"It's a little brother," Dillon nodded, smiling broadly.
"Oh really?" Mom asked. "And how do you know that?"
"Because Sam wants a brother," Dillon nodded again, as if that fact alone was enough to settle any argument.
"But what if Sam gets a sister?" Mom asked, a smile playing at the corner of her lips.
"That would be okay. As long as she likes fishies. Because Daddy Derek likes fishing and I don't. So little brother has to like fishing," Dillon said smiling.
"I think you're going to have a little sister," Mom gave him a tight hug. "That's what I think."
"So that settles it, I won," I laughed at Dillon.
"Won what?" Mom asked.
"A stupid argument they've been having all day," Meredith said, rolling her eyes.
"I think I'm gonna have a brother," Dillon pouted. "And no one believes me."
"Bud, it's not that we don't believe you," I said crouching down to his height. "We're just worried that you'll be disappointed if it's a girl."
"It's gonna be a boy," his lower lip trembled and I had a terrible feeling a tantrum was on it's way.
"Oh, bud," I said pulling him into his arms. "I hope it is, I really do. But it might not be, and you have to love your little sister just the same. She's going to need an older brother to protect her."
"Protect her?" he asked.
"Yep. If anyone is mean to her and makes her cry it's your job to protect her," I nodded.
"Like a police man?" the tears were starting to fade.
"Just like a police man," I smiled.
"Wow," he said. "Mommy, can I have a sister?"
"Maybe. We'll have to wait and see. But you're okay? Brother or sister, you're good?" Meredith asked, sounding hopeful that we had finally gotten through to Dillon.
"Yeah, but I want a sister more," he grinned.
"There's no winning with you, is there bud?" I laughed ruffling his hair.
My mom smiled at the scene and then turned to Meredith. "How have you been feeling?" she asked.
"Not as bad as I did with Dillon. Morning sickness nearly every day and I have to stay far away from Der's cologne," Meredith answered, smiling at me.
"I wish I had known," Mom sighed. "I made ham. Will that be too heavy for you?"
"No, I think that will be fine," Meredith told her.
"Are you sure?" Mom asked. "I can whip something else up for you."
"No, no, I'll be fine. Your son is being very protective so if I don't feel well I'm sure he'll take care of me," Meredith giggled slightly.
"I'm glad to hear that he's taking care of you," Mom threw me a look. "Because if he weren't, we'd be having a talk. "
"No need to talk, Mom. I'm here for her," I smiled, grabbing Meredith's hand and squeezing it.
"Good," Mom nodded. "Now, Meredith, you have to sleep. Sleep is the number one most important thing for your baby right right now. And for you. You don't need any extra stress on your body."
"I'm trying," Meredith sighed. "But Dillon's busy and Derek sometimes works crazy hours. It's hard."
"Derek can start taking some time off work, get more regular hours," Mom suggested, eyeing me. "And call your Dillon's father for help zipping him around or even taking him for a couple of hours. Don't they have a daycare service at the hospital?"
"They do and Dillon hates it, he always escapes. We have Der's office set up for Dill but it's still hard," Meredith sighed again.
"Dillon," Mom turned to the six year old, "we have to make a deal, okay?"
"What kind of deal?" Dillon asked, looking up from the picture of a pony he was drawing.
"You need to start protecting your little sister, right now, okay?" Mom sat next to him on the floor.
"How do I protect her? She's in mommy's belly," Dillon frowned.
"Well," Mom picked up a crayon and started drawing on a piece of paper, "your mommy has to get a lot of sleep so that your sister can grow up big and healthy. And it's your job to make sure your mommy gets a lot of naps, okay? But she can only do that if you're at daycare and you stay there."
"I can stay here?" Dillon asked looking excited. "Can Sam stay here too?"
"Um," my mom sighed as she looked at Dillon, "I'm sorry, Dill, you can't stay here. You have to stay at daycare."
"Okay, but I don't like daycare," Dillon whined slightly.
"I know you don't," Mom nodded. "But don't you want your sister to be healthy?"
"Yep," Dillon nodded.
"Well, if you're at daycare after school until your daddy or Daddy Derek comes to get you, then your Mommy can take a nap after work," Mom told him. "And that way, she can sleep and your sister will be healthy."
"Okay," Dillon said still frowning. "But only till my sister comes, right?"
"Right," Mom answered.
"Okay, but I'm not going to like it. Neither will Sam," he said pouting.
"Sometimes we have to do things we don't like for the people we love," Mom said softly.
"I love my sister," Dillon nodded smiling again. Dillon was the strangest kid ever. For the last month all we had heard about was his brother, and now in a matter of minutes it had completely changed.
"I know you do," Mom nodded and then kissed his blond head. "So you'll go to daycare?"
Dillon nodded. "But only because you asked me to grandma," he reached up wrapping his arms around her. He hadn't called her that before, it was always Mrs. Derek's mommy and apparently the grandma had just slipped out.
She pulled him in for a tight hug, and I swear I saw tears in her eyes. "That's my boy," she whispered into his hair.
I heard Meredith whimper softly beside me, watching her son hug my mom, and I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close. "So when is the rest of the clan here?" I asked, breaking up the emotional moment before I was in tears. And if Mark showed up to me crying I would never live it down.
"Soon," Mom answered as she got up from the floor. "Mark said he'd be by a little early today and the rest of the family is here when they get here."
"Mark already knows about the baby," I informed her. "So it's just the rest of them."
"You told Mark before your own mother?" she frowned.
"He came over one day while Meredith was getting sick, we had to explain it," I shrugged in apology.
The front door slammed and Mark came marching in. "Speaking of the devil," my mother smiled and then turned to Mark. "Hi, Markie."
"Hey Mom," Mark greeted her giving her a quick kiss before heading over to Meredith and hugging her hell. "How you feeling?"
"Good," Meredith replied. "And thank you for not wearing cologne."
"Anything for you, babe," Mark winked at her. Had it been any other guy he'd be laying on the floor right now bleeding. But Mark didn't threaten me.
"Mr. Mark!" Dillon grinned from his spot on the floor.
"Hey kiddo!" Mark smiled. "Still drawing fish?"
"Nope, ponies now!" Dillon held up his picture of the pink pony.
"Ponies? Pink ponies? Are you planning on your brother being gay?" Mark laughed.
"It's for my sister," Dillon rolled his eyes.
"Sister?" Mark said looking at the rest of us confused. "Since when has it been a sister?"
"Since I'm a policeman for her," Dillon said wisely.
"Oh," Mark nodded as if Dillon's reasoning made perfect sense. Of course in Mark's brain the reasoning of a 6 year old probably did make perfect sense.
"Anyone home?" Leah came in with her brood at that moment.
"Leah!" I greeted her, walking over to give her a hug in greeting.
"Hey, big brother," she smiled, hugging me tightly. "Do you have any idea what Mom wants to tell us?" she whispered in my ear.
I pulled back slightly, a confused expression on my face. "Mom wanted to tell us something?"
"That's what she told Nancy and me," she said. "She didn't tell you?"
"No she didn't mention anything," I frowned.
"Oh, weird," Leah shrugged. "I bet it's nothing."
"Probably," I shrugged, suddenly smiling. "But Mer and I have news."
"Did you propose?" she grinned.
"Well umm...no not yet," I cleared my throat. I wasn't going to tell the family about mine and Meredith's kind of engagement until it became an actual engagment.
"Hello!" Kathleen called out.
"Kathleen!" I greeted her, pulling her into a hug. Today I was thrilled to see my family, because finally I got to tell them that I was officially beginning to build my own.
"Hey, Derbear," she grinned and then pulled away. "Has Mom said anything to you yet? Nancy thinks she's going to tell us she's seeing someone."
"Why am I the only one who didn't hear about this something to tell us?" I complained. "And that's what Mark thinks."
"No idea," Nancy came up behind us. "I wonder who it is."
"Mom's not the only one with news," Leah said. "Derek was just telling me him and Mer have something to tell us."
"Oooo, are you guys engaged?" Erin was suddenly there too.
"No, we're not engaged," I told them sighing. "Come on, I'm not telling you anything until we're with Mer."
"Well, come on then," Nancy pushed me forward. "I want to hear the big news."
I let them push me into the living room where Meredith was in deep conversation with my mom and Dillon had disappeared to go play with his cousins that had already ran in. Meredith's relaxed expression immediately turned tense seeing my sisters. "Can I tell them?" I whispered in her ear, after walking up to her.
She nodded and squeezed my hand, taking a deep breath. "Okay," she whispered."
I smiled broadly at all my sisters and their husbands. "Meredith and I are pregnant."
The room exploded into screams and congratulations. My brothers-in-law all patted me on the back in congratulations while my sisters flooded around Meredith, questions pouring out of their mouths. "When are you due?" Nancy asked.
"September 21st," Meredith answered sounding overwhelmed, her hand searching for mine. I grabbed it.
"I can't believe it!" Leah exclaimed, hugging Meredith. "You look great too, you really do."
"I feel fat," Meredith pouted. "And Derek keeps telling me I'm already showing."
"Oh my God!" Erin squealed. "Are you? Come on, I want to see!"
"There's nothing to see," Meredith protested at the same moment I sweeped her into my arms, kissing her cheek quickly as I lifted her sweater to show off the ever so miniscule baby bump.
"It's tiny," Nancy nodded, "but it's definitely there. You really do start showing earlier with your second."
"That's what Addison said," Meredith nodded.
"Addison Montgomery?" Nancy asked. "She's a brilliant OB. Really brilliant. You're lucky to have her."
"She's a friend of Derek's so he got me in," Meredith said, smiling at me. Obviously coming to the conclusion I'd hope she would reach, that Addison had never met my family.
"I am so happy for you guys!" Kathleen said for probably the tenth time. "Boy or girl? And don't tell me you don't know because I know you have a feeling."
"I think it's a girl," Meredith said, resting one hand on her stomach, her other entwined in mine. She had started doing that recently, a lot of resting hands on stomachs, and I knew I was doing it too. Our baby was in there.
"A girl," my mom smiled. "Definitely a girl. I just know it."
"Dillon wants it to be a girl," I said. "Not that means much. Up to an hour ago he was convinced it was a boy."
"Oh, is he happy?" Erin asked. "No jealousy issues yet?"
"He's ecstatic," I smiled. "Jealousy will probably set in eventually, but right now, life is good."
"Good," Kathleen hugged me and then turned to Mom. "Now, Mom, today is apparently a day for news. What's yours?"
"Yeah Mom, what's the news you didn't even bother let me know about. Apparently I'm out of the family loop," I complained.
"It's nothing," my mom smiled. "Just, you know, the ramblings of a boring old woman."
"Mom, what's wrong?" Mark asked, looking concerned.
"It's nothing," Mom repeated, waving her hand. "Let's focus on Derek's news."
"Mom, you know us. We're not going to shut up until you answer," Nancy pointed out.
"Nancy, please," my mother gave her a stern look but we all heard her pleading tone.
"Mom, what is it?" I asked, feeling Meredith's hand squeeze my own.
She looked at me, tears in her eyes and she sighed. "Derek, honey, I don't want to ruin the day. It's such a happy occasion."
"Mom, just tell us, " I pleaded, squeezing Mer's hand tightly, suddenly thankful that I had her beside me.
She looked down at her hands and then looked up at all of us, tears already falling from her blue eyes. "I have cancer," she said softly.
My family gasped around me and I felt Meredith move closer to me, for her comfort or my own I wasn't sure. "What kind?" I asked.
"Breast," she replied. "Stage three."
My world was falling apart. I turned around, I couldn't look at her, right now I couldn't look at her. As I ran my fingers through my hair, I felt Meredith's tiny arm wrap around me, giving me the only comfort she could offer. It wasn't enough, but it was something. "How could you let it get this bad?" Nancy asked, anger in her voice.
"I've been having radiation treatments," Mom replied. "I had a lump removed a month ago. We thought that was it. But it had already spread."
Meredith's arm tightened around me and in that instant I wanted to break down, to sob on my Meredith's shoulder. To fall apart and have her there to hold me together. But I couldn't. "You should have told us sooner, Mom," Mark said.
"I thought I'd be fine," she said sadly. "I thought I'd get the lump removed and that would be it."
"Mom! We're your family, we had a right to know!" Kathleen demanded. I felt my body shake slightly and Meredith curl up to me even closer.
"I didn't want to worry any of you," Mom explained softly. "You all have your own busy lives to deal with."
"And you're a very important part," Mark said, walking over to put his arm around her, the first one of us to offer comfort.
"I can't believe this," Erin sighed. "After Dad. After what the doctors said about doctors appointments. After all of that and you let it get this bad?"
"I'm sorry, it's just...I didn't know how to tell you," my mom said in a shaky voice.
"Mom, it's okay," Mark hugged her tighter. It was weird that the only one of Mom's children offering her comfort was her only non biological child. But I couldn't look at my mother. I couldn't understand this. "We'll get through this."
Suddenly I needed air, I needed to get out of this house and away from this all. I was good at handling the big things, but not this. Not mom lying, not her being sick. So I moved, pulling myself away from Meredith and out the door of the house, standing in the middle of the driveway in the rain and not even caring that it was raining. And then Mer's arms were around me. And I let myself cry.
"When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore..."