Hello again, my wonderful readers and reviewers, I have returned with another offering for you. It's a long chapter and I am nervous and anxious to see what you guys think...cause this is where things really start to happen. The action picks up in this chapter, and it doesn't stop until the end. We're roughly...five or six chapters away from the end, and it is absolutely relentless action and feels from here until the end. Hang on guys. Shit is about to get crazy.
KatlynIreneGlasse: I always feel bad when I don't review evening its short, I am literally in a gas station stealing there WiFi to type this up. Great chapter I liked seeing more of Phillip and Merle, it's fun to see how they operate compared to Ricks group. Crazy train has left the station, that last scene with Lori reminded me of a picture for the Walking Dead it said and I quote, ghosts zombies, where are the vampires, it made me giggle. Okay I'm am now commencing leaving said gas station so see ya Kat
Hah, I am the well practiced Queen of stealing WiFi from random places xD. Aye, the dynamic between Philip and Merle is definitely different than what Rick shares with his group, but then again, they're very different people. Lol, Rick did kind of tip off the bender didn't he? We shall have to see if the group can haul him back into the sanity station…
FanFicGirl10: Cliffhanger! I hope they get out safe, no more casualties please! Glad Daryl, Fox, Carl, and Andrea got out alive and unharmed. Ugh Merle and "Phillip" annoy me, i hope they die a painful death, soon! Great chapter, Update Soon!
No more casualties? But my friend…this is the Walking Dead! Of course more people are gonna die! You'll just have to hang on tight and see who its gonna be.
Kaleiburzz: Oh shit. Oh shit! I really like how you're allowing Carl to step up to the plate. He needs to. It was nicely done, you. Talking about how his innocence had died that night. Update soon!
You know in the show at first I really didn't like Carl, he always was just kind of riding on his mom and dad's coattails but in the third season he's really become a valuable member to the group. He's brave and takes the initiative and I like that a lot about him. He doesn't wait to be told to do what's needed. His innocence definitely died when Lori was killed off, both in the show and in my story too. I mean you don't just walk away from something like that without some serious damage.
Emberka-2012: So Philip is not a boss. This is the doctor? This is something new.
Nope, in my story, Philip isn't the boss, it's someone else, you'll just have to wait to find out who it is. All shall be revealed soon ;)
Emerald Gaze: Carl thinks he's grown enough to tell fox what to do, that's cute. No one tells fox what to do. I'm guessing the doctor is whats-his-name milton(?) Its funny considering how scared he is of the govner in show. If this is the case then i really like what u did with the titles since it looks like philip isnt actally 'the govner' in this !_!
Hah, yeah, Carl thinks he can tell Fox what to do? Had they not been about to be eaten she'd of reprimanded him much more, but in that moment there wasn't time. But for sure, no one, not even Daryl, can tell Fox what to do. Mmmm, the doctor, I can't wait to reveal him to you guys, he is an actual charrie on the show so he's not an OC of mine, but is he Milton? You'll just have to wait and see!
Señora Sapphire: Wow that was an amazing chapter! I kinda wish thr in the grocery store, there was a little more action, but even without that, it was really good! I hate seeing Rick so... Tortured! He's all talking to Lori and pretending she's still ther, but come on Rick! She's dead!(thank god!) haha :) and then Philip... I really hope you and your little group die... Really Lear you kill Dale and now you going back for more?! Come on leave them be! Gosh and same with Merle, you're so annoying! Why can't you be cool like Daryl? I mean come on! Daryl is the best human being on this earth. Haha oh my... Now you guys are really going to die... That huge hers coming for you!
Mmm, Rick definitely tortured isn't he? He's deeply, deeply grieving still and his brain is rattled from the trauma and the stress and sometimes fantasy is a much safer place to be than reality, so he's checked out at least for a little bit. Oh Philip, Merle, they ain't anywhere CLOSE to being done with the group yet. It's about to get craaaaaaaaaaazy.
WinterIsComing1015: Oh fuck me. Fuck me right in my feels. Poor Rick is losing it as eloquently as he is on the show. Daryl is of course being Daryl Mothafucking Dixon, stepping up and being an awesome leader AND surrogate papa. And Carl...we've never really talked about Carl before, have we? But he is really like a little man in a boy's body and I'm so glad that you've given him that regard in your story. I honestly think the show hints at it but I don't think Carl has had a chance to shine yet. Maybe on Sunday's ep, eh? And a HERD A FEW HUNDRED STRONG? What in the fuck-hell? Oh and this doctor fella...who da fuck is dis muthafucka? You mean there's someone who makes even PHILLIP'S pannies get in a bunch? Oh jeepers...SOMEONE ELSE to worry about!
Oh SO MANY FEELS. Gah, writing Rick's angst is so torturous, and fun, at the same time. I'm beginning to think I have a sadistic streak… And Daryl, squeeeeee Daryl *huggles him* He really is stepping up, he has to. Rick has jumped ship off the sanity life boat and is swimming in the crazy pool, so Daryl's gotta paddle the group to shore as it were, which of course means also making sure the little ass kicker is well looked after ;) I had a hard time integrating Carl at first cause writing kids accurately for me is hard (they're always too mature xD) but Carl definitely isn't a kid anymore. I wanted to give him the chance to prove himself that he is really capable and brave enough to handle what's going on both inside the group, and all of their external pressures too. And yes the herd! Think about it. Even small towns have thousands of people. If 90% of a population in any given place was wiped out, that's hundreds and hundreds dead. And now undead. Good luck ladies and gentlemen, you're gonna need it! And the doctor! Hahah, hell to the muthafuckin' yes, this bastard is crazy enough to give Philip the heebie jeebies. I can't wait for the reveal for who he is!
sage62442: All I can think about when I read this is that this story is gonna end in less than 10 chapters! asdfghjkl the feels! I had a dream about this fanfic last night. You've taken over my life. Thank you. I love you so much 3 I read this on my way to school (the bus ride is an hour). Thank you for writing the best story in fanfic history. Sometimes I look forward to this fanfc more than the TV show.
Awwwww! I am so flattered and humbled and having so many feels right now! That's just…that's just awesome. People dream about my fanfiction, are you serious? You can't be serious. You are just saying it to make me blush xD. Trust me, you are not the only one, this story has taken over my life too. I was writing so much yesterday that my fingers were /literally/ cramping but I kept going, cause I was just so involved I couldn't stop. I love you all, my wonderful readers and reviewers, you all mean so much to me. The past 3 months you guys have been my constant companions, and it's been an incredible ride. I just…I have no words to express what reviews like this mean to me, and as a writer, that's saying something.
Shadowsgirl18: I so love your story! If Fox would of played in the TV series it would be 10 times better! I love your story better then the tv episodes ...I love Daryl with Fox better,,,,Carol is to old for him:) please update you write beautiful
Well hi there new reviewer, thanks for dropping in to say hi! You know…people keep telling me that they wish they could see Fox on the TV show…I'm seriously starting to consider tweeting some of the cast members (surely not the least of which would be Norman Reedus himself) and spamming them with the link to the story…I mean I doubt they'll ever read it or anything, but I keep hearing about these authors who started out right here on this site and then write their own books and become famous and I'm just KJJSDASGUF so many feels! Ok, enough, I shall stop spamming you with my fantasies. But thank you again for reviewing, even after all this time, each and every one means the world to me =D
"Rick, what's going on?"
The entire group was startled to see the man coming running back into the cafeteria, a tensed, almost terrified expression on his face, his shoes skidding on the slick linoleum as his chest heaved for breath.
"There's a herd, right outside, we have to go, right now." His voice was half broken and half jagged with an edge of glass as his fingers tightened on the holster to his python.
Daryl immediately was on his feet, passing the baby in his arms back to Carol and went with Rick back down the halls of the school to the front glass doors. The herd was massing by the hundreds against the fence, pushing and kicking and snarling ferociously, as if they instinctively knew there was food hold up in that building. Their frozen fingers were clawing and digging at the material of the fence, pushing and shoving even as more and more Walkers piled up to form a crowd of them all trying their hardest to get through the fence.
"They'll rip it down at this rate. We can't drive through that, we'll take the vehicles up through the back, drive through the fence, and hit the highway back the way we came.
"We cant, the trees! We'll have to circle around at the edge of the herd to get to the road." Rick cursed as he slammed his hand against the glass.
"My bike will never get through that, not without getting killed." Daryl warned, looking at his friend very carefully through the side of his eye.
"Daryl, we don't have time for this. Leave it behind." Rick growled, staring right back at him.
"We need it." Daryl said in a low, serious tone. "If the highways are blocked and we need supplies in a hurry, the bike is what can get through the debris. I can get through the edge of the herd but I need cover fire."
"Then take Andrea on the bike and I'll be on the roof of one of the vehicles. Andrea has a better shot than Fox does, she can give you the cover you need." Rick ordered as they started running back to the cafeteria. Daryl nodded as they came bursting back through the room, the baby sending up loud cries of worry as the group scrambled around, shoving their belongings in their bags and throwing them over their shoulders.
"What's the plan?" Fox demanded as she twisted her fingers around the handle of one of her throwing knives.
"Andrea, you're on the bike with Daryl, lay down the cover fire while Daryl's getting through. I'm on the roof of the Jeep, Carol you drive. Maggie, Glenn, Benjamin, and the baby are in Maggie's car, Maggie you drive, you got steadier hands on the wheel. You guys go through the fence first. Carl, Fox, you're in Jeep. We swing around wide to the back, mow down the fence and then circle the edge of the herd to the highway, let's go, they'll tear it down!" Rick barked the orders like a general, a mirror of his old concentration and focus gleaming in his eyes as he grabbed up two of their supply bags in one hand and a shotgun in the other. Everyone followed him at a fast run, bursting through the front doors of the school and racing down the concrete steps towards the vehicles which were just outside but they saw with dismay that the Walkers had already pushed down one section of the fence and were spilling like ants into the yard, already climbing up into the parking lot.
"Move!" Rick ordered, swinging his pistol around and taking out Walkers with sharp, well aimed blasts while everyone else threw the supplies into the cars and scrambled inside. Fox was the last in to the Jeep even after Rick had climbed up onto the roof and Carol was piled into the driver's seat. The redhead spun around and squeezed Daryl's hand once, her green eyes burning with fierce determination before she flung the door open and scrambled inside. Daryl took off with Andrea towards his bike, the blonde already laying down cover fire as he fired up the engine.
"Hang on!" he yelled over the snarl of the motor as Andrea came up behind him and wrapped one arm tightly around his waist. Maggie's car was already spinning the grass, trying to bite through the wet, sodden terrain, getting bogged down in the mud but finally lurching forward and towards the back of the school to take out the back half of the fence. Daryl watched in a bit of stunned amazement as the little green car plowed straight through, the paint scraping off and metal of the fencing screeching against the metal of the car. The fence came down, smashing a few Walkers with it as the tires rolled over and blew past them, heading for the embankment. The tree line that hemmed their access to the highway was forcing them dangerously close to the herd and as Daryl drove the bike forward he felt Andrea shudder, unused to the shock of the movement. She squeezed his waist so tightly it was hard to breathe as she swung one arm out with her pistol and popped off shots, killing Walkers left and right while Daryl followed the Jeep as close as possible, staying within the cover fire as much as possible. He snarled with surprise in one Walker got so close that he was sure he felt the fingers close around his leg but then a boom of a shotgun spattered the brains and skull against both his and Andrea's legs and he had no choice but to just keep going, trying to get his heart rate under control and his hands steady so as to not crash. Rick was on the roof of the Jeep on his knees, spinning and swerving, popping off shots as he struggled to hang on to the slippery surface and keep his aim accurate. The herd pressed all around them, pushing and shoving and snarling, determined to rip a piece of them away, but the whole convoy made it to the blacktop and gunned their engines hard, wheeling away as fast as they could go. Rick lowered himself entirely down to his belly in order to get a better grip and Andrea returned both arms to circle Daryl's waist, hanging on for dear life as he opened up the throttle.
They drove for at least a couple miles back the way they'd come to put some distance between them and the herd but when they reached a quiet stretch of blacktop the Jeep slowed down and the whole convoy came to a stop. Daryl killed the engine to the bike and Rick slid off of the roof of the Jeep, shivering and shaking as he did so, popping open the doors to the Jeep and immediately climbing into the back. Fox piled out of the Jeep as well and ran up to Daryl, hugging him hard, burying her face into his neck for a fast second while Andrea leaned up against Maggie's car and caught her breath, trying not to show how much she was shaking.
"Nice shooting Tex." Fox commented with a nod towards Andrea who managed a weak but sincere smile, her tussled blonde hair falling all around her face, her pony tail holder lost in the mad scramble.
"Is everybody ok?" Rick asked when he managed to get some feeling back in his fingers.
"Yeah, I think we're ok." Glenn panted. He also was holding onto a gun and although his voice was unsteady his hand was firm on the weapon.
"My bike is down to fumes. We're going to have to go for gasoline if we're going to make twenty miles." Daryl said heavily as he leaned against the machine. He'd been hard pressed to leave his truck behind all of those months ago in the quarry, and he damned sure wasn't going to leave his bike, not unless it was a matter of life or death. It wasn't just for its practical reasons. He had a lot of sentiment attached to this piece of metal and even though he knew it was almost pointless, he wasn't going to let her go, not unless he absolutely had to.
"There's all kind of abandoned cars by that interstate exit we came off of when we got here, we could try there." Maggie suggested. As the wind began to pick up she shivered hard with the icy blast of air and Glenn quickly put his arms around her to try and shield her from some of the cold. The baby also began to cry again even though she was wrapped in three or four blankets. Benjamin tucked her into his chest as much as he could, trying to soothe her distress but eventually was quickly forced to retreat to Maggie's car and shut the door to block out the wind.
"We can't bring the baby there, it'll bring all the Walkers in the area around." Rick said heavily.
"It's the best place to try for gas. We'll keep the car with Benjy and the baby at a safe distance to pull out if necessary, the rest of us will start siphoning." Fox said, folding her arms over her chest, her foot scraping against the ground as she did her best to ignore the freezing wind.
"No, I don't want us splitting up. Not after that, not after we know now that there are Walkers crawling all over this place." Even as he spoke they started to see some of the staggering corpses come shuffling down the black top, dragging blackened, bloody feet as they did.
"Rick, you're in no condition to be trying to work with your hands, not after that." Carol said firmly, stepping forward towards the man. "We'll keep the vehicles at a safe distance, siphon off some gas, fill up, and go. Maggie's car still has the map, we can find some place safe to go."
Rick self consciously clenched his all but frost bitten fingers into fists and gritted his teeth. "Alright. Alright let's go, before the herd catches up."
They all piled back into the cars and without question Fox swung up behind Daryl and wrapped her arms around him. She'd be lying if she said that she hadn't been jealous when Andrea had taken her usual place at Daryl's back on the bike as they'd been making their escape. She'd known it was necessary and that there was nothing remotely like that between Daryl and Andrea, but there was still a streak of possessiveness that had made her growl with disgruntlement when the blonde woman had slid behind him and held onto him tight. She wouldn't hold that against Andrea, but all the same, she squeezed Daryl tighter than was strictly necessary when he fired up the engine.
"What you worried about?" Daryl asked, feeling the difference in Fox's grip.
"Like you don't know." Fox muttered as the other vehicles growled to life again, headlights flicking on in the deep darkness of the highway.
Daryl actually laughed, unable to help himself after their brush with death just minutes before. "Don't worry Fox. I was never into blondes, even if I wouldn't have to snatch the cradle with her." He sassed.
She squeezed his waist tightly, her nails raking against his abdomen before her teeth nicked into his shoulder. Not hard enough to cause a lot of pain, just enough to let him know what she thought. It only made another huff of laughter come rolling through his chest as he let off the brake and followed after the convoy.
The bike was damn near sputtering to its eventual death by the time they reached the interstate exit. Just as Maggie had suggested, there were all kinds of abandoned cars piled everywhere including the on ramp and the intersection nearby as well as some that had slid and wrecked into the ditches and embankments. They all turned their vehicles towards their best chance of escape, the other split of the highway that would take them Southward rather than west and carefully piled out. There were Walkers crawling around the area, but not so many or so closely grouped that they couldn't handle them hand to hand. Daryl was surprised to see that even Carol piled out, holding the battered plastic red containers they'd been using to store their emergency supplies of gasoline.
They fanned out in formation as they approached a cluster of cars that had piled up together in the intersection. Carl had his pistol out and started taking out Walkers with precision, the home made silencer repressing the sound of the gunshot. Walkers dropped like flies Carol and Maggie worked to start siphoning off gasoline. Everyone contributed to the defense as they took the gasoline back and forth to the vehicles and filled them up. It took several trips and towards the end the mobs they'd been encountering since arriving in this little town were becoming prominent, but by then they had what they needed. They piled back into the vehicles and gunned the engines, heading south on the highway as they left the increasing number of corpses in the dust.
They drove throughout the night and into the morning until they finally had to get out and stretch their legs. The convoy pulled over on the side of the highway and Rick tilted his head at Daryl to run a sweep. When the area appeared free of Walkers, Glenn came over with the bolt cutters and cut the lock on the back of a moving truck that was blocking up a large portion of the highway. When they flung the door open and jerked back, Daryl fired his crossbow out of instinct, hitting a Walker straight in the skull as he did so. Glenn reared back and slammed another one in the head with his machete, splitting the skull with a harsh cry of anger. They hauled the bodies out and let them splatter to the pavement before beckoning the rest of the group. They all climbed into the back of the truck and stretched out. Carl was holding onto his little sister and Rick was watching with a careful gaze, but there was emotion there too.
"You know I've been thinking, she needs a name." Carol said quietly from where she was resting next to Carl, her back leaning against the metal wall of the moving truck.
"She's got one." Daryl huffed back. "She's the little ass kicker." That pulled a chuckle from a few members of the group and he nodded as if to prove his point.
"Before that one sticks." Carol teased lightly. She looked down at Carl, her eyes smiling as she stroked the baby's hair. "What do you think?"
Carl shifted slightly, readjusting his grip on the baby and stretching his legs out as he did so. "I was thinking about Lori." He murmured softly. He looked up at his father and he saw the expression on the man's face. It was tense and filled with pain and distress and Carl knew that it would have been too much to bare.
"What else?" Andrea prompted gently to break the silence.
Carl tilted his head back for a moment before looking back at his father. "Do you remember my third grade teacher?" When Rick nodded slowly and sat up straighter Carl continued. "Her first name was Judith."
"Judith." Rick said, rolling the name on his tongue. "I like that."
Carl smiled, probably for the first time since his mother had died, and held the newly christened Judith closer to his chest. Fox smiled too and looked over at Daryl who's lips were twitching with barely suppressed humor.
"She's still the little ass kicker." He said before closing his eyes, ignoring the hunger clawing at his stomach. He hadn't eaten any of the food they'd brought back on the supply run and right now he was too tired to even care.
They all slept restlessly, taking shifts on watch, keeping an eye on the situation on the highway. There was an endless sea of strewn debris and wrecked cars but fortunately no Walkers in sight. Rick made the decision to let them stay there through the night rather than moving to try to build some of their strength and energy back up. Daryl was on watch while the others slept, somewhere between midnight and four am. He was about to call it in when he saw Carol coming up to the hood of the moving truck, several cans of tuna in her palms which she set on the hood and then she clambered up to join him.
"It's not much, but you wouldn't eat at all otherwise." She said, nudging the cans towards him.
Daryl shrugged but gratefully accepted one of the cans and popped the lid with his buck knife. It was cold and almost tasteless but he couldn't be bothered to care. "I'd take a raw squirrel any day, but beggars can't be choosers." He muttered as he took down the cold lumps of meat.
Carol pulled a face and he gave her a look right back. "What?" he muttered as his fingers dove back into the can.
"You wouldn't really eat a raw squirrel would you?" she asked.
He arched an eyebrow at her. "Least its warm. And blood has a lot of protein and calories in it. It ain't bad for you if you can stomach it."
"I am infinitely glad I was never there to witness that." She teased. He laughed a little right along with her and they fell into an easy silence, at least for a little while. Daryl used a scarred knuckle to nudge the other can of tuna towards Carol but she shook her head.
"I had some already." She said, running her hands against her arms as they both stared out into the darkness, keeping a vigilant look out for anything moving.
"This the last of it?" Daryl asked. The first can had done nothing but make him realize how hungry he really was. When Carol nodded he pulled his hand back and licked his fingers clean, ignoring the can and pulling his knees up to his chest.
"Tomorrow we'll go for a run for more. We're bound to find something." He said softly.
She turned and looked at him carefully and he met her gaze right back, trying to judge why the air between them had just changed.
"I want to go with you." She said softly.
He shifted uneasily on the hood of the truck. "You sure? It's dangerous, even for something simple."
She nodded in acknowledgment. "I know. But I'm never going to get practice if I hide behind all of you. I did alright in the school, didn't I?"
Something twisted in him uneasily. It was like she needed his approval. It was such a sharp contrast to Fox, who had never asked, nor even wanted, the approval of the rest of the group, or even himself, for a very long time. Even now she didn't really care what the group thought of her. Her devotion to them was born now out of mutual respect and maybe even love, not as a need for their acknowledgement.
"Yeah, you did ok." When he spoke next it was carefully. "But you might be better served to keep watch over little ass kicker."
Her eyes narrowed at him and he realized that no matter how he would have phrased it, it wouldn't have gone over well, and he decided to plunge in to try and rectify the damage as much as possible.
"I ain't saying you're not capable cause you're a woman. You've killed your fair share of Walkers. But you ain't had the most experience with guns, or knives, and we have no idea what we'll find out there. If we get mobbed…"
"You want someone with a better hand." She said heavily. "I get it."
Torn in various different directions, not the least of which being the heavy disappointment on her face, Daryl took an uncomfortable plunge. "Come if you want to. I wouldn't ever try to stop you from getting experience. But fair warning. Pretty much every time we go for a run, we've damn near died. Maggie and Glenn and I, when we went for formula for the baby, we got caught in a herd over a hundred strong. It was almost as bad the last time we went for food. It's no cake walk."
"You let Fox go. You ask her to go." She clarified after a moment, and her tone was brittle as she did so.
"Fox has trained with knives for most of her life. She knows what she's doing." Daryl said heavily.
Carol fixed him with a steely stare. "For someone trying to protect the softer sex you don't seem to mind putting her in danger."
Daryl's jaw twitched. "I don't put her in danger. I let her do as she pleases because she don't listen to anybody but herself."
Carol's lips flicked into a thin smile for a moment before she leaned onto her upraised knees. The air between them relaxed a little and when she spoke again it was softer.
"I wouldn't be able to live with someone like that. There's got to be some cooperation. Some give and take."
Daryl let out a huffed breath and watched it billow in the cold air around them. "There is give and take. She gives because she wants to. Not because she's asked. Fox has never done anything just because someone else wanted her to, and she ain't about to start now."
"What do you see in her?" Carol asked him softly, looking up at him now. "It can't just be the sex. You were putting up with her long before all of that started." She teased lightly, making Daryl roll his shoulders and duck his head, smiling sheepishly before remembering how to straighten his face.
"Why does it matter?" Daryl countered.
Carol shrugged her shoulders. "Cause I don't think anybody expected you to go soft for someone like her. She's at least ten years younger than you, Daryl. That's a little off."
Daryl shifted on the hood of the car again, watching the stillness of the night for a while. He wasn't used to being questioned like this. No one really had the gumption to do it, even before the world had gone to shit. Nobody but Merle anyway, and even then it was only in passing, just something to tease him about and so Daryl wouldn't respond. But the world looked different tonight, and so he decided to answer.
"She's eleven years younger than me, but she's seen enough of the world to know what's what. We see the world in the same way. She's just…" he struggled for the words, not really knowing how to describe it. He knew how it felt, but how to translate that raw, visceral, untamed excitement and connection into words was beyond him.
Carol seemed to understand and she gently leaned her arm against his for a brief moment, silencing his attempts to speak before pulling back. "I'm happy for you. If she's what you want, then I'm glad she's there for you."
Daryl didn't respond at first. They watched the sun slowly start to filter through the trees and, for the first time in days seeing beams of gold pierce through the perpetual grey veil. Carol was gazing out at the rising sun too and as he followed her gaze, he decided to take another uncomfortable plunge.
"I'm sorry about Sophia. I'm sorry I couldn't bring her back to you." He murmured quietly. It was something that had been bothering him ever since it had happened, and he hoped that just by saying it, the pressure he felt in his chest every time he looked at her would dissipate.
She looked back at him and actually smiled, although her eyes were moist with tears. "It wasn't your fault, Daryl. You did more for her than Ed ever did in her whole life. Don't feel bad about it." She said softly. She turned away from him as a few tears slipped from her eyes and she brushed them away. "I still miss her every day. I always will. But she had such a giving heart. She hated to see me upset whenever Ed would…" she wiped her eyes and trailed off, her voice becoming firmer as she continued. "So I go on and find meaning in what I can. Taking care of Judith and Carl. Rick when he lets me. You too." She looked at him and smiled a little although there were still tears slipping from her eyes. "It's how I get through the day."
Daryl nodded. "Get some rest. If you want to come on the run, you need to be ready for it." He murmured before sliding off the roof and going back into the truck to grab an hour or two of sleep before they would go for food.
Rick didn't let them rest for long. They only had so much daylight and nothing by the way of anything else to eat. They sat in a circle in the truck, the map from Maggie's car in the middle of the circle as they tried to figure out a likely place to go for food, and possible shelter.
"Where do we go now?" Andrea asked heavily as they stared down at the map with weary eyes. Judith was beginning to fuss in Carl's arms as he tried to pacify her with his voice. It wasn't quite time for her next feeding, and they couldn't afford to waste any of the formula.
Glenn gazed down at the map with careful calculated measures passing over his face. Even now, after all this time, he was still probably the best runner for supplies due to his timing and keen instincts, Fox a close second because of her speed and skill in close range combat. "We're not far from Cleveland, but it's too big of a city to risk trying to get into. Our best bet is one of these suburbs." Glenn said, tapping a few different areas on the map. "Its not a guarantee, but going into a metropolis is suicide." He stared back down at the map again and pointed to one in particular. "This is the closest to us, and also furthest from the city. Safer, but more likely to be cleaned out. We could double back and try this place here," he tapped another neighborhood further North, closer to Cleveland "which is more likely to have what we need."
"And more Walkers." Andrea said heavily.
"Nothing's pretty, but that's what we've got. I say he head North and go for the one that is more likely to have supplies instead of wasting gas on a weak maybe." Glenn sat back on his crossed legs and looked up, gauging their reactions, paying close attention to both Rick and Daryl.
"Alright. Volunteers to go with Glenn?" Rick asked finally. He sounded exhausted and shaken despite having slept while they were in the truck. Daryl was wondering if it was due to the responsibility as leader settling back down onto his shoulders.
"I'll go." Carol volunteered just as Daryl knew she would, but it drew very surprised looks from the other members of the group.
"Carol are you sure?" Glenn asked cautiously.
The woman nodded. "I'm sure. I can handle myself."
Glenn eased back from the map and half shrugged his shoulders, obviously deciding not to argue with her.
"I'll go." Daryl murmured. In truth he was exhausted and going for a run was the last thing he wanted to do, but if Carol was going to go, he was going to make sure she was safe. That was all there was too it.
"Alright, I don't want anymore than that. The bigger the group, the more noise, the more chance for shit to go wrong." Glenn said when Fox automatically started to open her mouth to volunteer as well. She huffed an aggravated breath and with her eyes beckoned Daryl to follow her out of the truck while Glenn and Carol gathered what they would need.
"Be careful." Fox warned softly. She wrapped her arms around Daryl's chest and pulled him down close to her. "Please be careful."
His lips brushed her cheek gently and he tucked a stray curl away from her face behind her ear. "I'll be fine." He promised. He made to pull away but she held him firmly against her for another moment and he returned her embrace.
"I have a bad feeling about this. Please…please don't go." She whispered in his ear.
He drew back from her just enough so he could look into her eyes. "I'll be back." He promised. He slid out of her grip and turned away, climbing into Maggie's car with Glenn and Carol, forcing himself not to look back, because if he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to resist her. It wasn't often she had moments of doubt like that, but he'd prove her wrong. He always had before.
They drove in silence until they came to the edge of the neighborhood on the map. It was a typical suburb, a neatly planned community with their target stores of course in the center of town. Daryl cursed the situation but gritted his teeth against saying anything. He was at the wheel looking for a safe place to stash the car. There were overturned cars everywhere, a fire hydrant that had long since run out of water was wrenched over from where a truck had smashed into it, street lights twisted and bent out of shape, pieces of newspaper and other trash either stuck to the pavement or billowing in the breeze, and of course, Walkers. Walkers staggering along the sidewalks and into the middle of the road, wandering aimlessly in their never ending quest for something to eat.
Daryl circled the grocery store's parking lot once to get a decent idea of the layout. It was fairly typical for this sort of fair but he figured they'd have better luck in the back in the stock rooms rather than the front of the store. He parked the car in the back parking lot, manfully ignoring the Walkers that started to stagger towards them as they piled out, guns and melee weapons in hand and empty back packs on their backs.
They slunk from the parking lot towards the back of the store and Glenn took his bolt cutters and cracked the deadbolt that blocked their entrance. They flung the door open and immediately jumped back, expecting something to be waiting for them. There was nothing though, and so they quickly darted inside and shut the door with a fast snap.
"Flashlights." Daryl hissed.
They all clicked on their lights and shined them into the dark space, the beams of light illuminating a dark grey floor and rows of metal shelving and torn open boxes strewn everywhere.
"Move." Glenn whispered as they heard the tell tale hissing of Walker growls. They couldn't see the monstrosities yet, but they kept in tight formation anyway, searching for any food that they could grab, picking up random cans and stuffing them into their bags as they moved, also keeping an eye out for more formula as well as any first aid supplies. They swept down the different isles, starting and shivering at every off sound, the nervous tension mounting with every passing second as they couldn't find the source of the hissing from the Walkers.
Their bags were starting to become weighed down with the supplies they were managing to get, but as they rounded another isle Glenn started when he saw a Walker clinging to the shelf. He whipped his machete out and struck the creature in the head, kicking it back, along with the shelf which shook and rattled and as Daryl swept his flashlight down the isle, he saw with his dismay a mob of Walkers heading straight for them.
"Back up, back up!" Daryl growled, shuffling them away from the horde as fast as he could and they started running down the isle when another group began to cut off their escape towards the exit.
"This way!" Carol called, heading for a cut through in the shelving. She darted through, Daryl and Glenn following, the hunter having a firm grip on his buck knife, striking anything that got too close, Glenn still snatching supplies off the shelves or floor when he could.
They doubled back around and made a beeline straight for their exit door as another mob started closing in on them again. Daryl ran straight for it and shouldered it open, Glenn and Carol pressing and scrambling at his back just as the Walkers closed in. They spilled out onto the steps and the pavement, some of their supplies dropping and rolling away but it was nothing compared to the scream that split the air in two.
Daryl wrenched around, losing skin on the rough asphalt as he instinctively fought to put as much distance between himself and the Walkers as possible. When he twisted around he saw with horror that Carol had been pulled down on the steps and a Walker had its teeth buried deep into her thigh, ripping its head back and pulling off a huge chunk of flesh.
He roared with wordless fury and wrenched his thirty eight out of his pants and fired, killing the Walker that had a hold of Carol as Glenn darted in and pulled her away. Glenn shoved her towards the car and Daryl kept shooting, forcing back the monsters that were trying to all fit through the doorway at once. He shot until the gun clicked with its now empty clip but the red bloom of rage was nowhere near satisfied. He whipped his buck knife back and forth, stabbing skulls, smashing them under foot, bashing them into the side of the building as the anger built and built and built until he saw nothing but rotted flesh and blackened blood. He was soaked in it and it wasn't enough. The smell of death and guts washed over him and he couldn't be bothered to care. The monsters kept coming and he took the butt of his gun and smashed it into yet another pale skull, cracking the face clean open, the brains spilling out at his feet. Each kill made a flash of searing heat burn through him and it felt so good he had to keep going. More and more and more, he'd kill them all. He dove back into the fray for another body, splitting open the head with his knife, twisting and pulling brains out on the reverse stab.
"Daryl! Daryl come on!" Glenn yelled. He was already in the driver's seat, the car's engine going as more Walkers were pouring into the parking lot from the front as they heard the commotion.
With another scream of wordless rage Daryl took down one last Walker, pulling it by the shoulders, shoving his foot into its back and wrenching it by the hair and neck until he'd pulled the monster's head clean off its body and threw it down into the asphalt, smashing it clean open. He grabbed his fallen knife and stuffed it into its holster before turning and running for the car, a slew of almost a dozen bodies at his heels as more just poured from inside the store towards them.
"Daryl are you ok?" Glenn panted worriedly as he threw the car in gear and hit the gas, the tires squealing and smoking as they struggled to bite pavement. Bloody hands were streaking and smearing the glass but at last he shot forward, skidding and swerving as he did, knocking Carol around hard who was stretched out in the back seat, her leg gushing blood all down the leather interior, spilling onto the floorboards like a red river.
"Fine, drive straight!" he snarled as he dropped down onto the floorboards to keep Carol from rolling off the seat. He was already jerking out of his jacket and then his undershirt. With his teeth and buck knife he sliced off both sleeves, one which he immediately tied around Carol's upper thigh to provide a tourniquet for the bleeding. The other he kept unfolded and tied it around the bite itself. Carol winced as he cinched down the fast made bandage, blood quickly soaking through the sleeve, staining the fabric scarlet red.
"Daryl…" Carol panted, her voice screwed up with pain. Her hands were fumbling at her sides and eventually latched onto his. "Daryl it's ok."
"Shut up." He growled. He couldn't take this. Every fiber of his being screamed that this couldn't be happening, and yet it was. It was happening, clear and bright and as bloody as the fluid dripping down the seat and onto his boots. The anger that he thought he'd dissipated from his butchery of the Walkers was roaring back with a vengeance and all he wanted was to tear more heads free of their shoulders and use them like baseballs but there was nothing to take his rage out on. Only the weak, shivering body of Carol at his side as her fingers wound around his hand and forced their way through his clenched grip.
"It's ok." She said through pain clenched words. "It's alright. I chose to come. I wanted to provide for the group. This wasn't your fault." Even as she spoke tears streamed down her face because no matter what they said to each other, no matter what they tried to do, everyone knew they'd be burying another member within hours. From the front seat Daryl could hear Glenn sniffling as he struggled to drive straight and not wreck the car as he guided them back towards the highway.
"Just don't…don't leave me on the side of the road. Don't bury me there." She whispered. Her head rolled back as the tires of the car hit a bump and the frame of the vehicle jarred, causing a wave of pain to roll through her.
Daryl's entire body seized. He couldn't even begin to think about that, all he could see, all he could feel, was what was right in front of him. Carol's free hand bit into the side of the seat, her fingers curling with agony as she tried to keep from crying out in pain. He didn't know where the words came from, they sounded nothing like himself. He could feel his throat choked with tears.
"Where?"
When the car steadied over the road again she managed to open her eyes and suck down a breath to answer. "If I can't be buried with my daughter, I don't want to be buried at all. Light me on fire. Set me free." She whispered. She rolled onto her side again, trying to ease the pain and pressure on her leg and Daryl found breathing all but impossible.
"Carol…we don't burn our dead." He whispered. He felt nauseas even thinking about it and all at once he felt like he might lose his mind. He couldn't even begin to know how to handle it, how to talk about this.
"I hate the ground." She panted, staring up at him but not really seeing him, seeing something past him, something only she could see. "Its cold and dark and suffocating. I don't want to spend eternity there." She groaned again with pain as the car struck another bump. "If I can't be with my daughter, then I don't want to be trapped there forever."
Daryl choked on another breath, trying his best to stem the tears that were flowing past his eyes despite his best efforts. Even when Sophia had died it hadn't been like this. He hadn't cried like this since he'd come onto a rooftop in Atlanta and found only a severed hand and a bloody pair of handcuffs instead of his brother, and even then after a minute he'd stemmed the tears, but now…now he couldn't. They tracked down his face like stinging rivers and no matter what he did he couldn't make it stop. His heart felt like it was being ripped free from his chest and put through a meat grinder as he watched Carol roll back so she could face him better.
"Shh, Daryl, don't cry." She whispered, her voice still strained with pain, but there was less fear now. "It's ok. It'll be ok. I promise." She raised her palm and placed it against his cheek her fingers brushing the edges of his hair, ignoring the grit and grime and spattered blood and guts he was now covered with. "You're bringing me back to say goodbye. It's all I could have asked for."
"Carol don't…stop." Daryl choked. He couldn't stand to listen to her speak anymore. Every word was just a knife between his ribs, digging into his heart, slowly killing him.
But she didn't listen. She mustered her strength and tightened her fingers in his hair. "This is not on your conscious, Daryl. It could have just as easily been you or Glenn and I'm glad it wasn't. This happened for a reason. God has reasons. It's ok. It's ok." She said it over and over again while Daryl ducked his head and sucked in a deep trembling breath, trying so hard not to scream because he was afraid that if he started he might never stop.
When they finally came back to the highway it was far too soon and yet so much time had past already. Daryl climbed out of the car first and then lifted Carol into his arms. The rest of the group piled out of the moving truck to greet them but then they saw Daryl carrying Carol. Andrea choked and Carl's face immediately twisted into an expression of sadness. Rick was stunned, disbelief written all over his face. Benjamin had Judith in his arms but when he saw what was happening his face became a mixture of devastation and pain, Maggie ran to Glenn and hugged him hard and he returned the embrace, both of them beginning to sob as Daryl carried Carol to the truck and laid her inside. He climbed in beside her and pulled her away from the entrance to keep her out of the wind and then he saw the eyes that he both needed, and was afraid to see.
The green gems were cut with deep, deep sadness. She looked up at him, a mixture of her own grief and pain for him all over her face, as well as her indecision of whether to go to him or give him space. In the end she crawled across the space of the truck and pressed her shoulder against his, and even though he did not turn to her, he didn't pull away and was silently grateful for her presence. He felt like at any second he would shatter at her touch, but also like it was keeping him together. It was as though he were made of glass, standing on the very tip of a knife, the point digging into his body and yet threatening to send him to the ground in a million pieces.
The group came back up into the truck, all of them crowding around Carol as close as they could, murmuring their pain and sorrow and apologies, all the while she tried to soothe their discomfort even as her own physical pain began to magnify. Benjamin had passed Judith to Maggie and now he was digging in his bag, looking for something and when he finally found it, he turned to Carol.
"Carol. I've seen what the fever can do. It's painful and it is not slow. I have something that can make it easier. Faster. You will feel nothing. It's your choice…I just wanted you to know…" his voice was shaking even as the tears rolled down his cheeks.
Carol took the kid by the hand and ran her bloody thumb against the back of his hand and his wrist. She nodded her head and Benjamin let out a shaking breath. "That will be better." She said finally. "But I want to say goodbye." She reached up and swiped away his tears with her thumb carefully. "Be brave, Benjamin. You have it in you to face this world. You're not alone anymore."
He carefully passed Judith to Rick who accepted the wiggling bundle wordlessly. The medic reached down to give Carol a soft kiss on the forehead, his long fingers running through her short clipped hair before he retreated a little to start getting his cocktail ready and the rest of the group pulled in close. Carol's hand reached and found Andrea's hand first, her weak fingers curling around the blonde's despite the growing frailty in her limbs.
"Andrea, you've come so far since when we first met. Never stop fighting. I know its so hard at times, but listen for what's right. You will know it when you hear it." Andrea nodded and she reached down to kiss Carol's cheek, tears still running down her face.
She looked and found Glenn who's eyes were red and just one look set the tears off again but she managed a small smile for him.
"Glenn you would have been one in a million in a crowd before the world ended. But you've become indispensable to us now. Watch out for them. Keep them safe. Hang onto Maggie and the others. Don't let go."
Glenn shook his head, his face screwing up as he tried to stop the all out sobs that were coming from his strangled throat. Carol ran weak fingers through his messy hair and soothed his cries gently. She then took Maggie by the hand.
"Watch over him. He will need you on the hard days. Show him the things he doesn't know. Learn from each other. Don't fight over petty things. It's not worth it."
Maggie nodded, stifling a sob as much as she could. She leaned down into Carol briefly before sitting up, wiping away her tears, her other hand firmly entwined with Glenn to hold her steady.
When she reached to take a hold of Carl she brushed away his tears with shaking fingers and even though more fell she managed to smile for him.
"You're strong, Carl. So much stronger than you know. You have it in you to make or break this group. You look after your little sister and your dad. You take care of them and make sure they don't turn cold. You can do it, I know you can, and your mother knew it too. Thank you for being my little girl's best friend." She hugged him with as much strength as her weakened frame would allow and then she turned to Fox.
"You watch out for him." She panted, flicking her eyes towards Daryl and then back towards Fox. "Make sure he stays as the man he is now. Not who he was before."
"I will." Fox whispered, leaning down and pressing her cheek against Carol's, a solitary tear falling from her green eyes. Daryl could feel her shoulders shaking but there was a firm resolution in her eyes beneath the sorrow.
"Rick." Carol turned her head to look the man in the eye who appeared to be on the verge of tears. His shoulders were shaking but when Carl's palm found his cheek his eyes closed and he stilled a little under her touch. "So much has been asked of you, but you can bear it. You do not have to bear it alone. Look after them and they will look after you. Anything that happens, don't hold it inside. Share it with the others. They are willing."
"I will. I promise." He whispered. He tucked Judith against his shoulder and leaned down and kissed her forehead as her eyes closed briefly, tears slipping down her cheeks, her lashes heavy with the silver droplets. When she opened her eyes again she found Daryl and he thought that his heart might break right then.
"Daryl you listen to me. You're stubborn and it's helped you survive all this time, but you have to try and believe me. Nothing that happened was your fault. You went further for me and my little girl than anybody else ever had. You need not ask for forgiveness. There is nothing to forgive. You are a good man, and every good thing you have in your life you deserve. You deserve it and so much more. You were so lucky to find yourself when the rest of us were losing ourselves in this world. Don't let go. Don't let go."
Daryl choked on his own breath and leaned down against her, hiding his face to stop the rest of the group from seeing the tears. When he finally did pull back he scrubbed at his face furiously with his arm, biting the inside of his cheek to send a bolt of pain through him to jerk him back.
"Carol." Benjamin's voice was raspy, almost unintelligible as he carefully approached her, a small needle in between his thin fingers, full to the brim of clear fluid. Her eyes followed the needle towards Benjamin's face and then gazed up almost sightlessly at the ceiling.
"Wait." She panted softly. "Let me see Judith." She whispered.
Rick carefully passed Carol the little bundle, laying her in the crook of the woman's arm. Judith wriggled uncomfortably as Carol gently placed a hand on her chest and then kissed her soft downy curls. "You be good for your daddy and your brother, and uncle Daryl and the rest of the family, ok? They're not used to a little one keeping them busy. And when you get older they'll tell you all about what life was like right now, and when you think of me, it'll be as the person I became, not the person I was. Don't ever worry. They'll protect you from everything until you're strong enough to protect them. You're lucky, Judith. There's no other family who would ever fight for you the same way this one will." She reached over and kissed the baby's cheek softly and then slipped onto her back again, her body screwing up with pain as the fever began to sink down into her bones. Rick carefully took the baby and held her against his chest while Benjamin took her hand gently, searching for a vein in her arm. Carol began to whisper softly to herself and Daryl heard the snatches of a prayer and he wondered how after all this time and all of this tragedy she could believe in God, but he was grateful she had that as a comfort. His heart felt ripped free of his chest and he couldn't stop watching as Benjamin slid the needle into her skin, pricking a vein so blood leaked into the vial before he sent the poisonous concoction into her body.
It took less than a minute before her chest began to stop rising and falling. Her eyes were closed and she looked as though she were sleeping, entirely at peace, no pain or suffering through her body anymore. Benjamin felt for a pulse at her neck and wrist repeatedly and when he finally looked up at Daryl, the hunter instinctively knew. His body seized and his fists squeezed tight, his shoulders shaking violently as he struggled to keep from going to pieces. He hated all of the eyes on him but he also was afraid to walk away, not knowing what might happen to him if he did.
Somewhere in him he found the strength to move. He picked up Carol's body in his arms and maneuvered her out of the truck and onto the black top. He had said to set her on fire…to set her free. And he would.
He chose a car that had an almost full fuel tank. It was a waste of gas and he didn't care. He almost felt numb as he laid Carol inside and shut the door before taking a piece of his undershirt and cutting it free with his knife before stuffing it down into the gas tank, just a small piece of the fabric remaining outside.
"Daryl, what are you doing?" Andrea asked as the man worked methodically at his task.
"She didn't want to be trapped in the ground." Glenn whispered. "Its what she wanted."
Daryl took his lighter out of his pocket and flicked the switch. The flame sparked up from the little piece of metal and he held it to the strip of cloth hanging from the gas tank. It caught fire eventually and the flame quickly spread.
They all ran, backing up at least twenty feet and by the time they turned around, the sound of an explosion shook the crusted ice off of the nearby trees. Daryl turned and saw the car completely up in flames, burning like a fireball that had crashed down from the heavens onto the blacktop.
"Come on. The Walkers are coming." Rick said, very carefully touching Daryl on the arm as he stood there watching the car burn. But still he didn't move. Not for many long moments. Not until he felt someone else come up behind him.
"She's free." Fox whispered.
Daryl turned to her and wordlessly walked towards his bike, Fox following at his heels as he did so. He followed in line with the convoy but before they rounded the bend he twisted around for one last look at the firebrand he left in his wake, knowing that there was a piece of himself burning right along with her. He couldn't hear it over the roar of the motorcycle's engine and the wind screaming past his ears, but overhead there was a distant chopping of the air from a helicopter's blades.
A/N: I think it goes without saying I don't really need to ask for reviews, but I'm craving to know what you guys think. Also, if you're interested, I wrote Carol's dying and death scenes to the song 'Have We Lost' by Flyleaf. Highly recommend you check it out. Alright guys, lemme know what you think!