Alright, everybody, we're back with a new chapter! So, last time on TDHA, Helios caught up to Graves and Twisted Fate, and had a doozy of a bar fight in the process. And, surprisingly, I got a lot of help on what to do for Illaoi, so thank you so much to all who gave me tips! I really appreciate it! This chapter, stuff will happen, as well as some other stuff and more stuff. ...I'm kidding. This time, Helios and the ol' gang will be on a chase throughout Bilgewater, on the run from Gangplank's former crew after the bar fight leads to extra reinforcements. Could Helios undoubtedly smite them all and watch their bodies (and self-esteem) burn? Oh, hell yes. But, then again, this is Helios we're talking about. If the world's going to be at stake, he's going to have fun saving it. After that, they'll be on the lookout for Sarah Fortune next, and getting directions on where to find her. That's about it for this chapter, I think. NOW LET'S GOOOOOOOO!

"Dammit guys, why do you always have to piss off the worst people around?" I asked as we ran. "Why can't you ever play cards with Ivern for once? Then you wouldn't have to get run out of every place you visit!"

"Where's the fun in that?" Graves grinned, jumping and twisting midair to fire a round from his shotgun. "Besides, 'yer one to talk, considerin' that you wanted to carry the boat with 'ya! And Ivern don't even know how to play cards!"

Graves wasn't lying. I was carrying the S.S. Banana Roast with both hands over my head, trying hard not to bump it against the various buildings we passed. It was harder than it sounds, due to the fact that it was actually huge for a dinghy.

Wait, wait, I should back up a little. Let's rewind for a second:

So, after the bar fight, and we'd kicked every ass available, we started planning our next move. Finding Sarah sounded like a good place to start. She wouldn't be hard to convince. She never minded a good gunfight, especially since her signature weapons, Shock and Awe, were so good at them. Besides, the paycheck was good, and Sarah's whole thing was killing baddies for money, so it was going to be a walk in the aquarium, as far as I was concerned. See what I did there?

Buuuuuuuuuut...naturally, things were never that easy. Turns out, the Wharf Kings had a lot more members than any of us thought. Graves and Tobias aren't as good with numbers as most people. The only experience they have is with ammunition counts and card numbers.

So, after smashing our way through the windows, we took off, because none of us really wanted to deal with a bunch of angry pirates. I, however, refused to leave my dinghy behind, which led to a rather heated ten-second argument, before the two outlaws finally relented after I told them I'd carry it. I think they started to regret it after they discovered how much it was hampering our progress.

"Helios, just leave the damn boat behind!" Tobias yelled. "It's a dinghy! It ain't worth shit!"

"Bullshit! A dinghy helped Jack Sparrow find the Fountain of Youth, so don't you tell me that they aren't worth shit, because they are fabulous and beautiful!" I argued, as we ran over a bridge and into the alleyways.

"That was a movie, Helios!" Graves replied. "And why would you need a Fountain of Youth? 'Yer immortal, ain't ya?"

"Er...I think so." I frowned thoughtfully. "But, y'know, it never hurts to get smoother curves and skin. I enjoy watching Raka salivate over my abs."

"I'd ask 'fer the details, but I ain't got time at the moment." He muttered.

"Uh- oh, damn it." I huffed, as I realized that the boat wasn't going to fit through any of the tight spaces we were entering. Boats weren't really meant for alleys. Now, if alleys had lots of water and people dying of scurvy, that'd be another thing, but unfortunately citizens of Bilgewater have the small inkling of decency not to flood their homes. Shame. I'd record that for The Universe's Funniest Home Videos, but what can you do?

"Guess we're leavin' the boat here, then." Tobias said.

"Like hell we are." I growled. I took a few steps back, readjusting the boat over my head. "How much do houses cost in Bilgewater, Graves?"

"Technically, nothin'." The Outlaw replied. "Why d'ya-"

I charged forward with a yell. Instead of just bumping against the buildings blocking our path, I ran straight through them, leaving massive holes in the woodwork. I ran until there wasn't anything left to run through, and by the time I was done there was a clear path ahead.

"Well?!" I said. "Come on, let's get moving! We don't have all day!"

The two of them looked back to see that the pirates were still pursuing us, flintlocks pew-pewing and punching holes in the environment around us. They both sighed, then followed.

Then, things took a nasty turn. See, those houses I'd destroyed? People were living in them. And they weren't too happy about losing their living spaces.

Graves yelped as a round from a rifle nearly found its mark, whizzing over his head. "The next time we tell 'ta to leave the dinghy, Helios, YOU LEAVE THE DINGHY!"

"ALRIGHT, I GET IT, I'M SORRY!" I replied, using the S.S. Banana Roast as a shield. I winced as I felt several bullets puncture the hull, which meant that my dinghy would have a hard time staying seaworthy. "BUT DAMN IT, THIS BOAT TOOK A LONG TIME TO NAME, AND I AM NOT JUST GOING TO LEAVE SOMETHING BEHIND THAT TOOK THAT MUCH EFFORT!"

"HEY! THAT'S MY BOAT!" Someone shouted. "HE STOLE MY DINGHY!"

"For the love of-" I groaned. "Is everyone in Bilgewater after us now?"

"I wonder whose fault that is." Tobias deadpanned.

I sweatdropped. "...Fair point."

"Guys, I have an incredibly stupid idea that'll probably backfire but it'll still be really cool!" I said. "Here we go! In the boat you go!"

"Wait wait wait WAIT-!" Graves protested, but by then I'd already thrown him in the boat, along with Tobias.

Then, I jumped.

Onto the rooftops.

This was most likely going to end horribly, but I was all about stupid ideas, so I figured it was a pretty typical thing to do. Once I was on the rooftops (which were also slanted), I hopped in the boat myself, standing up on the planking and adopting a surfer's stance.

Because House Surfing, why not?

"COWABUNGA, DUDES!" I yelled.

"HELIOS, WHAT'RE YOU DOOOOIIIIIIIIIIII-" Graves never finished, due to the fact that by then we were already off. We careened off the house we were on, catching a good amount of air before smashing into the next house, skidding off and onto another. The shingles probably wouldn't hold up under our weight, but screw it, it was fun.

We were covering a surprising amount of distance. With each bounce off a building we covered a few hundred meters, before descending to ricochet off another. Inevitably, we ended up pissing off just about every homeowner in Bilgewater, and since it's Bilgewater, all of them had guns. And alcohol.

"Well, I did say it was a stupid idea." I noted as I glanced over the side, observing the mob chasing us below. "I'm just surprised that the boat's been holding up so well."

Graves and Tobias, at this point, had calmed down enough to just roll with it and figure out how to escape our hairy situation. "We could always abandon ship, y'know." Graves remarked. "It ain't like it's gonna hold up much longer."

"Eh, we'll just get off when it starts falling apart. Then we'll wait 'til the heat dIES down and look for Sarah." I replied. "So, gentlemen, shall we play cards while we wait?"

"Which game're you thinkin' of?" Tobias asked.

"Nobody's watching." I replied. "So how about we play a man's game?"

And that's how we wound up playing Go Fish on a rickety old dinghy bed the S.S. Banana Roast, bouncing along the Rooftops of Bilgewater. You're probably thinking that I should be questioning my sanity, while Graves and Tobias did the same (my sanity, not theirs), but here's the thing: I'd been at the Institute of War for months before Swain declared war. That was plenty of time to consume with antics, and Ahri proved especially helpful with setting them up. By the time Demacia and Noxus were at each other's throats, everybody had already learned to deal withy shenanigans. It was better than putting up with a haughty, stuck-up god, anyways.

It's hard to play Go Fish on an airborne dinghy. Every time we bounced, we lost a few cards, so whenever someone asked if anyone had any threes, we'd produce some from our decks, then watch as they went over the side. Sometimes a card exploded from gunfire, or a seagull snatched them out of the air. Graves promptly shot them down in reply. They deserved it, too. Buncha sky rats.

"Boooiiiinnng. Boooiiiinnng. Boooiiiinnng." I held up my hands in the air after I got bored with cards. "Y'know, this was admittedly a fun idea, but I didn't realize how long it'd take to get down from here." I glanced over the side. "Especially considering that everybody's after our heads now."

"You and science kinda have a dysfunctional relationship, doncha'?" Tobias asked.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure why." I admitted. "I think it's for entertainment."

"Whose?"

"Dunno." I replied. "Some random entity out in the universe, maybe? I'd have to get back to you on that."

"We should probably stop soon." Graves noted. "Half the joint's already wantin' to kill us. Best if we don't piss off the other half, so we have someplace to lay low."

"You're probably right." I agreed. "Let me see if I can steer us somewhere we can get off."

A particularly hard knock against the boat's hull flung me from the deck, and I plummeted to the streets below, poker-faced and blinking.

"Or...that can happen." I said. "I mean, I would've preferred to use the actual rudder, but falling also works. Why not?"

I got tangled up in a few clotheslines on the way down, becoming enveloped in bloomers, men's and women's alike. A few of them screamed as I accidentally ran off with their underwear, but I tossed them away while hoping they could just pick them up. I had a boat to catch up to.

I climbed up a wall, twisting around and jumping to another, climbing up another few feet before leaping through the opposite window feet-first, in a sliding position. I ended up entering some sort of dining room, skidding along the table and knocking off all the food.

"Well, hey there." I smirked and winked at a blonde sitting across from me as I slid. She giggled, blushing. Sue me, even though I have a girlfriend I can still strut my stuff in front of the ladies. One could argue that it's extra satisfying, too. All this and it's already taken! The ladies are bawling their eyes out, I'm sure of it. I swiped a smoked salmon from the end of the table as I passed, jumping to my feet and crashing through the next window. I sliced through a clothesline with my axe, grabbing onto the end and using it to swing above the hustle and bustle beneath me. Faster means of transport, and all that.

"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can..." I sang softly to myself as I swung, kicking out with both legs and letting go. I landed on the second floor balcony of a nearby tavern, eyeing the S.S. Banana Roast as I weaved and pushed my way around occupied tables, watching the dinghy continue to bounce its way along the rooftops.

"'Scuse me pardon me coming through gangway beep-beep!" I said hurriedly. "Gotta bust a move, sorry!"

I sprang off the edge of the railing, then cursed as it collapsed under my weight. I latched onto a signpost with my axe as I fell, then used my momentum to swing up onto another roof, sprinting in the direction of the boat, which was starting to escape my reach. At this rate, I'd lose sight of Graves and Tobias within minutes, and gods know how long it'd take me to find them again. Muggers and bandits were such a pain. I enjoy a good brawl, sure, but when all of them are one-sided it starts to get boring.

"In that case..." I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "Guess I'd better get serious and stop having fun, huh?"

I went into light-speed, zipping across the rooftops and scattering shingles and planking in my wake. I gripped my axe in both hands as I ran, and thrust the head of the blade into the rough material, then pushed against it with both hands and flipped over it, performing a flip-slash-pole vault with the weapon. The vault, coupled with my added momentum from my speed, sent me flying towards the boat, and I eagerly waved at the two outlaws on the deck as I sheathed my axe.

"BE THERE IN A SEC, GUYS!" I yelled. "COMIN' AT YOU, SO MAKE ROOM FOR ME WHEN I GET THERE!"

But then, the most unexpected thing happened.

Or maybe it wasn't unexpected, considering the culprits.

Out of nowhere, a flock of seagulls coalesces, a squawking, screeching cloud of white demons from above, bearing down on me with unholy fury. Literally. I've known several demonic gods that like to use seagulls as minions. Or sacrifices for the blood circle. Seagulls were on of the stupidest ideas I'd ever had. I'm just going to admit it.

"Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" They all squawked. I blinked. I didn't even know that seagulls could talk. I smelled either an anomaly or a reference. Most likely the latter.

They then slammed into me, halting my airborne advance and causing me to drop like a stone.

"CURSE YOU, SEAGUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSS!" I screamed. I flailed helplessly as I fell, silently swearing that if I lived through this ideal (I was considering dying of stress and exasperation) I would hunt down every seagull in existence and annihilate the lot of them. And I will not feel a speck of remorse. Besides, pelicans are way cooler. Pelicans are love, pelicans are life. They are second only to bananas.

If you catch my drift. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I contemplated the futility of my existence as I landed in a wheelbarrow that was randomly lying about in the street. The hell would you need a wheelbarrow for in Bilgewater? Well, fish, oranges, dead bodies, I get it, but why can't people take better care of their stuff? It's one of my pet peeves, and honestly, how hard can it be? Just remember where you put it, and make sure it doesn't end up in some random corner of the street! But noooooo, it's too much work to be responsible and pick up after yourself!

Then the wheelbarrow actually started moving, pulled downhill by the impact and my weight. Oh, yeah. It was downhill. Which was pretty unfortunate for me. And wheelbarrows can go pretty fast, once they get going. I discovered this personally as I realized that there was no reliable way to exit at the pace I was going. On the bright side, I noticed that I was slowly catching up to the boat. With luck, I'd be able to get back on deck to finish my game of Go Fish.

And, well, as you probably know, things are never that easy.

Because the pavement then turned around a corner, and since I didn't have a steering wheelbarrow, I could do nothing but watch as I barreled straight towards a building.

"BrakesbrakesbrakesbrakesBRAKES-" I yelled, but it turns out that shouting doesn't really do much.

I crashed through the wall of a bar (they're everywhere in this town), ramming through table after table and ruining the joint's customer service. I covered my face with my hands to avoid getting alcohol in my eyes (just in case; it sounds like it hurts), and somehow wound up with a beer in my lap. While it wasn't necessarily an unwelcome addition, I wasn't quite in the mood for a beer at the moment. I'd been hoping for an emergency exit.

Next, I smashed my way into a hat shop, which was a strange thing to have next to a bar. Bilgewater isn't really familiar with the idea of organized commerce. A bar next to a hat shop? Sure. A market next to the Slaughter Docks, why not? Hint: because the dead whales there smell like the inside of Sion's armpits; rotting, revolting and completely lacking in the sanitation department.

I acquired a tricorn hat on my way out, awkwardly twisted sideways on my head. Soon after, I barreled through another bar, this time snagging a cutlass. I was slowly beginning to sense a recurring theme. The final place I "visited" sold parrots, and by then I was certain there was a theme to the mayhem.

"Rrawk! Polly want a cracker!" The parrot on my shoulder squawked.

My transformation was complete. I knew exactly what to do in my predicament.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR, MATEYS!" I bellowed, in my pirate attire, sticking both legs out of the wheelbarrow while I brandished my cutlass and beer. "SET SAIL FOR TORTUGA!"

I was having the time of my life, let me tell you. I'd always wanted to try talking like a pirate, and now that the appropriate circumstances were present it felt so good to finally get to do it. Besides, the fact that Gangplank would've hated it if he could see me mocking him made it all the sweeter.

However, even though I'd demanded that my wheelbarrow set sail for the island of Tortuga, and catch a ride with Jack Sparrow on the Black Pearl (that was my initial plan for catching up to Tobias and Graves, unrealistic as it was), I was going in the completely wrong direction. Instead, I found myself speeding toward the Slaughter Docks, and even though I couldn't see them at the time, I could sure as hell smell them. The Slaughter Docks have one of the worst stenches in all of Runeterra, and I'm not kidding when I say that. The Institute of War did a poll a few weeks after Snowdown. The Docks are where fishermen and whalers take their best kills, to be chopped up into meat and sold on the markets. And don't think you can just bring in a few herring and call in a day. If you're going to the Slaughter Docks, your kill has to be big. At least a small whale. And the place is often crowded, so you're gonna have to wait a while before people can attend to your pay and your meat. And carcasses that size tend to rot after a few days. And they start to smell, too. And since there are so many of them...I think you understand where I'm going with this.

"AAAAAARRRRRR, THIS ISN'T TORTUGA!" I noted. "THIS BE THE LOCAL PISSPOT!" I assumed that's how a pirate would say it.

And that wasn't even the end of it. I didn't stop once I entered the docks. Even though the current available carcasses were disgusting to the point where I automatically retched, I couldn't get off. A captain always goes down with his ship, I guess.

"AVAST! THERE SHE BE!" I pointed at one corpse in particular. "THE GREAT WHITE WHALE!"

It was in fact a whale corpse, and yes, it happened to be white. References were being served up to me on a silver platter, and I was loving it. Rusty old hooks and moldy ropes were all that were holding it together, and I think my stomach would've enjoyed it if the ropes just snapped. That way it'd fall into the sea, and I wouldn't have to look at (or smell) it anymore. And it looked like it'd been abandoned, too. That happened sometimes; the waiting queue was just so unbearable that people just flat out abandoned their kills so that they could go home and do something productive.

"PREPARE THE CANNONS! GET ME THE HARPOON! WE BE EATING WHALE BLUBBER TONIGHT!" I yelled. "CHAAAAAAAAARGE!"

Then I realized that not only was I heading towards it, but that it was a stupid idea to even want to. Especially considering that its mouth was open. And it looked like I was about to be devoured.

"WELL, BLOW ME DOWN! I BE ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED BY THE BEAST!" I screamed. See? I'd already figure it out.

To my utter, absolute horror, I entered the whale's gaping mouth, slipping and sliding on the tongue. I tumbled from the wheelbarrow, and faceplanted in dry saliva. And dear gods, it smelled awful. It was mixed with the stench of rotten fish, too, so it was ten times worse than usual.

"Eww." I stood up with my arms spread, wobbling on the tongue. I'd lost interest in talking like a pirate. Being inside a dead whale will do that to you. Especially since my parrot appeared to have been swallowed. It'd gone straight down the thing's throat, and it doesn't matter if the thing that ate you is dead, you are not coming back from that.

I grimaced, shaking the saliva off my clothing. The smell was still there, to my disgust. "At least I can still get out of here." I said to myself, looking at the available silver lining.

WHOMP!

I was suddenly enveloped in darkness.

I deadpanned. "You have got to be kidding me."

I glanced back towards the mouth. Somehow, it had clamped shut, leaving me trapped in the belly of the beast. Literally, too. I didn't really know what to think of that. There had been hooks holding the mouth open when I arrived, and they'd been just as moldy and green as the others. Apparently, they'd snapped, which only made sense, as my luck tends to go in that direction a lot.

I turned from side to side, taking in the sight of the carcass. It looked like the typical inside of a whale, but I could make out splotches of dark green dotting the flesh, indicating that it'd been decaying for a while, maybe even a few weeks. Holes were torn in the whale's hide, either due to harpoons or decay. None of them were big enough for me to climb through. Sure, I could've burned my way out, or used my axe, but I still remembered what that burning carcass in Shurima smelled like, and I wasn't anxious to get whale guts on my axe. That would be impossible to wash out.

So, I sat. And thought.

There had to be a way to get out of this mess. A sanitary one, anyways. Graves and Tobias wouldn't appreciate working with a star that smelled like a rotting corpse. Plus, I knew I'd get out sooner or later. I could at least afford to do it without getting messy.

I scooched towards the one stray beam of light in the whale's stomach, which sat in the center. I was more comfortable when I thought in direct sunlight. It felt pleasant, and fairly warm. Yep; I'm pretty much a living solar panel. Sometimes.

Then, as I continued to ponder my escape route, I looked up.

And I realized that the light was coming from the whale's blowhole.

I gasped, as a very stupid and very fun idea popped into my head. I grabbed my axe, placed my hat on my head, and started glancing around the tongue. The tongue is essentially a giant muscle; it's the strongest muscle in the human body, to be specific. But there are certain parts of it that allow it to flex the way it does, and if I poked the proper spot, it'd accomplish what I needed. How do I know this? Well, guess. I kinda made every natural form of life on Runeterra. I could teach college classes on biology for six hours until the end of each semester. I could educate the teachers, too. I'm awesome like that.

"No...not there...Not there either...no...no...a-HA!" I grinned excitedly as I found the area I was looking for. I jumped up, and slammed the butt of my axe into the center of it, causing it to ripple and shudder. A second later, the tongue spasmed, and I rocketed upwards. But I didn't fly out the blowhole; that wasn't what the plan was. Instead, I jabbed the blade of my axe into a muscle a few meters away, just as I hit the ceiling.

This muscle, of course, was what allowed the whale to spray water.

I hit the ground, positioning myself just underneath the blowhole, as water began to seep into the whale's stomach.

"THAR SHE BLOWS!" I yelled.

Not long after that, I emerged from the whale on a geyser of water, flailing and laughing as I was flung hundreds of feet into the air. "HAHAHAHA YEAH!" I whooped, flinging both fists out in a display of triumph. "I GOT MY ESCAPE ROUTE AND A REFERENCE IN! TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE, BABY!"

WHAM!

All the air was knocked out of my stomach as the S.S. Banana Roast smacked into me. I don't know how it managed to do that, but that was some serious timing. The boat, unfortunately, wasn't holding up very well. It'd lost the back half somewhere down the line, which meant the rudder was gone. All that was left was the wheel, half of the bed and the two outlaws on board.

"Oh, hey guys." I greeted once I'd regained my breath, splayed casually across the nose of the dinghy (as casual as you can be in that position, anyways). "What'd I miss?"

"Not much." Graves shrugged. "The mob lost interest 'bout ten minutes ago, so we're just waitin' 'til we stop."

"That might actually be closer than we thought." Tobias pointed ahead.

Waterfall. We were about to fall into one of the many man-made lagoons scattered throughout Bilgewater, and they tend to go pretty far down. Enough to make it hurt. Certainly enough to make it lethal. Although, some people had apparently tried going over waterfalls in a barrel, so how hard could it be?

"Well, that's just perfect." I said. "Life seems to like throwing curveballs my way, doesn't it?"

"Helios, now would be a good time to bail!" Tobias said urgently. "Our chances of survivin' this are slim to-"

"Never tell me the odds!" I replied, climbing back up onto the deck. "Besides, they're often stacked against me, and I usually pull through alright!"

"'Yer a god, Helios!" Tobias yelled.

"Well, true." I admitted. "But hey, you're vital to the plot, you'll be fine."

"Not only that, but I chose this boat because it has a very unique safety feature!" I announced.

"And what'd that be?" Graves asked, slightly hopeful.

He was about to be so disappointed.

"You see, this boat, my friend..." I slowly built up the suspense (but not really). "...IS A FLYING BOAT FROM TREASURE PLANET!" And dear gods, that movie was underrated. Like Atlantis. I really liked that one. The city doesn't actually exist (it was based off an explorer's trip to the Marai's underwater city a few centuries ago), but it's a neat concept.

And Graves realized, in that small moment, that he could very well die that day just because I felt a need to fool around.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" He yelled.

"Not at all!" I replied cheerily.

We went over the edge.

"We pillage and plunder and rifle and loot, drink up me 'earties yo ho...we kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot, drink up me 'earties yo ho..." I softly sang to myself as I hung onto the mast of my smashed dinghy, which was rapidly sinking as it made its way toward the docks. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me."

I reached the wooden walkway just as the mast fully sank into the water, gracefully stepping onto it à la Jack Sparrow (AN: you know which reference I mean).

Surprisingly, none of us died. It'd been a hell of a ride, and the S.S. Banana Roast had been smashed to pieces when it hit the water, but overall we'd fared better than expected. As a proper captain should, I elected to go down with the ship, while Graves and Tobias hopped belowdecks, cramming into what remained of the small space available. It hadn't actually been the impact that destroyed the boat. We'd generated a massive wave that was the actual culprit, which had torn apart my dinghy. By then it'd been falling apart at the seams, so the wave really didn't have to do much.

I turned around to steal one last glance at the dinghy. It slowly faded from view beneath the water's surface, until only a few stray bubbles showed that it was at the bottom. I sighed, slightly depressed. I'd known that it probably wouldn't have lasted long without the whole drama that had just gone down, but it'd been a faithful little vessel, in the short time I'd commandeered it. I would have to give the next boat I used an even goofier name, in honor of its predecessor.

I have strange ideas for what's traditional for this kinda thing, but at the very least it makes things interesting...right? I don't know. Maybe.

"Coming, boys?" I glanced upwards from the wreckage of the S.S. Banana Roast, spotting my companions floating by on a stray plank that'd been torn loose from the boat. "We have work to do, you know."

Graves shook the saltwater out of his beard, then spat it out. "Has anyone ever told 'ya that 'yer insane?" He asked.

"Once or twice." I replied, nonchalant. "Why?"

"Because at this rate, this'll be our last job." Tobias said, emptying the water out of his hat. "We're gonna die before we get our payday, aren't we?"

"Quite possibly." I agreed. "But then again, it's all part of the job, right?"

"Damn straight." Graves smirked, pulling himself onto the docks with a heave. "Even if we don't get paid, the whole experience'll make a good story for the bartender."

"Now you're getting it." I smiled. "So, shall we go find Sarah, then? With a rep as big as hers, she can't be that hard to find."

"She isn't here." A deep, rumbly, metallic voice replied.

A shadow fell across the three of us, and we slowly turned around.

A gigantic silhouette began to rise from the depths, blocking out the sun and creating waves throughout the lagoon, forcefully rocking the various ships and vessels tied to the docks. Water rushed from the cracks in its steel armor, and a pair of glowing red eyes stared down at us from underneath its helmet, casting two crimson spotlights down on where we stood. Whatever was left of the thing's face remained shrouded in darkness, and even I didn't really know what it looked like, nor did I want to. In one hand, the armored giant carried an enormous chain, with a barge's anchor attached to the end. In the other, he gripped the wreckage of what appeared to be a flagship, which were usually seen on the open sea.

"Fortune's ship left the harbor a few hours ago, along with she and her crew." Nautilus continued. "I witnessed them leaving myself."

"...Y'know, even as far as sudden, dramatic entrances go, that was pretty sudden." I noted. "Have you been here this whole time?"

"I only came here to bring this to my employers." The Titan of the Depths gestured to the wreck in his hand. "I was not expecting you to arrive the way you did." Nautilus had made a career out of bringing ocean wrecks to Bilgewater for repurposing. The materials gathered from sunken ships could be used to construct houses, or even fortify Bilgewater's defenses. He didn't even ask for payment. What would he use it for? It wasn't like the big guy had anything else to do, since...you know.

You're probably thinking that I know what freak of nature dragged him down to the depths of the ocean and fused itself to his suit. You're right. I do. And, to be honest...you don't wanna know. There aren't many of them left alive, and what they look like when they fuse with people...nasty. It was one of my "drunken mistakes" as a star, if you will.

"Do you...know where she went?" I asked. Even I was a little wary around Nautilus. He wasn't scary, gods no; it's just hard to talk to the guy. How exactly do you start a conversation with a seventy-foot, one-hundred thousand ton metal man that lugs around a giant anchor? You don't, as guilty as it makes you feel. There's just not a lot of things to talk about.

Nautilus grunted, which sounded like a whale experiencing a muscle spasm. "To hunt for the Saltwater Scourge. Where else?"

Oh, gods, not this again! Sarah had a bit of an obsession with placing a bullet in Gangplank's skull. You would too, if he'd killed your family, burned your house down, ruined your life, etc. Not even the fiercest of ocean storms could faze her when it came to chasing after Gangplank, and she was part of the reason why he had to keep such a low profile. It wouldn't be logical for him to get his ship destroyed twice.

"Can you...show me...where, maybe?" I asked again.

"You would have me wade out into the deepest depths of the sea, brave the fiercest of storms, just to find one girl and recruit her for your war?" Nautilus asked.

"If it isn't too much trouble, sure." I replied.

"How would you have me accomplish this, if I agreed?" Nautilus asked.

I glanced at a nearby boat sitting across the lagoon. It was bigger than my dinghy, and by the looks of it, a lot more durable. It was a full-size ship, meant to be operated by a crew of thirty men. It'd do quite nicely. But, ah, there were only four of us, and only three would actually fit.

Then I glanced at Nautilus's anchor.

And back to the boat.

Then back to his anchor.

Then back to the boat.

Then back to his anchor.

Then back to the boat.

You see where I'm going with this.

"I...might have an idea on how to make this work." I said.

"This'll be fun." Graves commented, reloading his shotgun.

Woo! And that's it for this week, ladies and gentlemen! Next time, we'll get to see Sarah do her bounty hunter thing (I think), and encounter Gangplank in the process. Then, once that's taken care of, we'll go into how the remaining champions of Bilgewater are getting roped into Helios's little recruitment venture. It mainly involves naval battles. And an old wound Swain's still salty about. Until next time!

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