Chapter 35
-My Big Fat Greco-Roman Wedding-
June, 152 A.D.
Rome
The inside of the palace was insanely crowded, bustling with humans and nations alike from around the world.
Clustered around the couple of the evening was a group of nations who had never all been together in one group before. Excited gossip and chattering going on amongst them all, never being able to relate to so many people at once.
Varyn had never been around so many nations before, and it made him slightly uneasy, he was the youngest of them after all. He hoped his slight anti-socialism didn't affect his time for the rest of the night.
So far he had seen a number of nations he saw quite often like Aestii, Gaul, Iberia, and Germania, but now he was with another group, most of whom he hadn't seen for nearly eighty or seventy years.
"Whoa Varyn you're tall now! And your hair is so much longer, and braided too! What, are you thinking you're a woman?" Persia asked, tousling the Celt's messy hair.
"No, I only let one have her way with my hair."
"Ah, talking about Astrid? There's word 'round here that it'll be your two's wedding we'll all be going to next!" The tan eastern man teased, elbowing his side.
"Yeah make sure to invite us all when you get hitched!" Anatolia joined in.
"Oh yeah, how did you two meet? I heard there was a story behind it." The wild haired and blonde Illyria asked.
"Uh yeah… it was quite… unique to say the least." Varyn mumbled.
"What's that? I can't hear you!" Illyria smirked. "Hey guys quiet down! Askrolita's going to tell a story!"
A knot grew in the Celt's stomach as a family ew more nations and regular humans gathered around him, always wanting a story to hear.
"Well uh…" he started nervously before beginning, "we actually met when we were both little in a forest in my lands… you see Britannia and her were hanging out together camping, but she hadn't told Astrid about me yet, nor I her; apparently she was going to introduce us the next day. But anyways that night I happened across Gwyneth while she was sleeping and I wanted to scare her by waking her up; what I didn't know was that Astrid had gone away from the camp to get some water by a nearby stream and was only just now returning." Varyn paused to add a little suspense.
"And? Go on!" Illyria urged.
"Well basically Astrid saw me, a stranger, creeping up on her best friend and went into a freaking frenzy. She dove onto me from out of nowhere, hurling both of us over the edge of a small hill I had just come from until we both hit the bottom, probably with some broken ribs for each of us. Then she took a knife she had on her and stabbed me a couple times, but when she realized couldn't kill me she stopped… or at least slowed down her stabbing. Gwyneth then woke up and broke us apart and formally introduced us. I actually then thought she was a guy for a little bit because her hair was short and she was a bit of a tomboy back then."
Varyn then rubbed his jaw for a second. "I remember when she punched me in the face when she found out that I thought that."
"Damn, are you really okay with a brutish girl like that Varyn?" Illyria asked, brushing his arm gently.
Suddenly a figure was pushing itself through the small crowd that had formed, and Astrid appeared in the middle. "Who you calling a brute?"
Illyria looked at her with an almost playfully disgusted look. "You! How could you attack him like that?!"
"Hey I was just looking out for my friend who I thought was in danger!"
"It's not like you had to try and kill him though! He was no more than a child at that point, correct?"
Varyn was starting to get a little embarrassed from the scene developing before him. "Uh Illyria it's okay, it happened over two hundred,l years ago, you don't really need to defend me…"
At that point Romulus had shoved himself between the two women, separating them. "Girls calm down, don't act like kids. You're not going to ruin my special day now are you?" He asked, winking.
Astrid rolled her eyes while Illyria nodded vigorously. "Certainly! Sorry Romulus, and congratulations again! Helena is a lucky woman!"
"Hey Illyria, isn't it time to stop fawning over him? He's literally married now, and not to you!" Called a voice from the group around them.
Illyria's expression switched to fury in an instant as her glare passed over the crowd. "Shut up! Who said that?!"
With the wild blonde and most others distracted, Astrid took the chance to take Varyn's hand and drag him away from the commotion of the crowd.
When they had distanced themselves enough she stopped them both. "Sorry for almost causing a scene. But anyways can you believe this ridiculous garb we have to wear? It's like they're ready to strip at a moment's notice with how loose everything is!"
"Well considering how many Roman parties turn out I think that's very much so the case." Varyn pointed out.
"True. Hey I'm going to get some wine, want any?"
"Sure, I think I've gotten used to it now. Plus I want to have fun tonight."
"My my. Well aren't you finally growing up ya' little alcoholic." She remarked, ruffling his hair affectionately.
"Whatever." He muttered as she walked off.
God I hope she doesn't get too drunk.
Time skip
"So Romulus, how did you propose anyways? There's no way this was an arranged marriage right?" Britannia asked the Roman man as a group of nations all sat around together on couches.
"No, not at all. I proposed… kind of…"
"What do you mean?"
"Well you see the two of us were just kind of hanging out together in Athens a few decades ago when I bought some apples from a vendor because I had a sudden craving for them. Then as a joke I called out to her from behind and threw one at her, which she caught. She then had the most bewildered expression come onto her face as she turned her head from the apple now in her hand to me, then to the apple, then back to me."
He sighed as he continued. "She then screeched on the top of her lungs: 'TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH YOU IDIOT!!!!' And then lunged and jumped into my arms to kiss me. Turns out I had completely forgotten that throwing an apple to a woman in Greece is a old traditional form of marriage proposal, and that catching it was the woman accepting. So I kind of didn't mean to propose, at least not at that exact moment, but Helena didn't let me back away from it, so here we are…"
"Hey," Helena grumbled, lightly hitting the Roman's arm. "You're making me sound like I was desperate."
"Weren't you?"
The Greek woman averted her eyes a little from her now husband. "Well a little… but only because you were taking so long to do it, had to make me wait for fucking decades upon decades!"
"Damn, that's sounds exactly like something you would do Romulus." Egypt said.
"Seriously with something as important and significant as the first marriage between two nations you'd think he'd just try to rush into it to claim it." Helena complained.
"I know… Here's a tip Asktoltia; don't make her wait too long." Romulus said, gesturing to the now tipsy Scandinavian who was practically laying on top of him.
"Oh what's this? Going to propose to me?" Astrid asked, sounding only slightly intrigued but smirking all the same.
"Not happening." Varyn said succinctly with a short shake of his head.
"Ugh. Figures. Well if I can't expect anything from you could you at least comfort me with some more wine?" She asked, shaking her empty cup in front of him.
Gaul chuckled. "I'm sure the last thing you'll be needing tonight is more wine."
"She gets a bit clingy and emotional when drunk." Gwyneth half whispered to the group.
"Hey that's only partly true! I'm only clingy to those I love." Astrid said, slapping Varyn's leg lightly.
"Alright, no more wine for you." Varyn said immediately, trying to not be left with a wasted woman who he'd have to drag around everywhere.
The Scandinavian looked up at the Celtic man's face and glared. "I'll scream." She threatened.
And with that Varyn promptly left his seat to go fetch some wine for his dearest Astrid; reassuring her that he would be just a moment.
He made his way to the main room where most of the gusts where to find some wine when he saw a certain blonde woman nearby. He thought Illyria would have gotten over her obsession of the Romulus considering how events had turned out (or at least tried to suppress it), but a drunken stupor seemed to bring out her true feelings.
"Goddamniiiiittttttt!" She muttered to seemingly no one while in the dining lounge as she spilled a cup of wine all over herself when a wedding guest bumped into her. "This whole night is horrible! First I watch the man for me get married off to that stupid whore, then I get scolded by him, and now I ruin my nice dress that he had picked out for me!"
Varyn watched as she began to cry and looked around for the nearest person to comfort and take pity on her. She saw Germania pass by, and immediately walked up to him, latching onto his arm. "Berwaaaalllllddddd! I'm pretty right? Like more than Helena?"
He barely even looked as her as he peeled her off of him. "I don't care about you or your appearance enough to answer that."
"So cold! The least you could do is be a little concerned!" She shouted as he hurried off.
She then (if Varyn had to say) overdramatically sobbed into her sleeve until she spotted the grey eyed man nearby and grinned.
"Hehe… you know I think I should be going…" he mumbled, backing away from the drunken blonde.
"Varyn noooo… please don't leave me alone! I need some charming young man to sweep me off my feet tonight and there's far too few of you!"
"Uh, I don't know if I can exactly help you in that aspect."
"You're not trying to deny me are you?! I thought you liked older women?!"
He then grew very serious. "You told you that?"
"Romulus, why?"
"Fucking bastard." Varyn grumbled.
"Oh, so if that gets that much of a rise out of you it must be true!"
"Well it would only make sense, considering the only women around me are all older."
"Huh, never noticed that." She then ruffled his hair quite violently. "I guess it sucks then to be the youngest of us all, huh?"
He gently pried her hand from his head. "Yeah… it kind of does… do you still need me now?"
"Of course! I need someone to help me wallow in my own self pity and tell me everything that's good about me!" She then took his hand and led him away. "Let's go! It'll be fun!"
"I don't see how…" He muttered.
But as soon as they started to walk away from the large group of guests around them, Astrid appeared from out of nowhere and kicked Illyria to the ground. "Eat floor ya' hoe!" She shouted and then took Varyn away from her and back towards the main room.
"Uh, thanks." He said. "I thought I told you to wait while I got more wine though?"
Astrid crossed her arms annoyingly. "You were taking too long." She took one of the cups he had and downed it in a manner of a few seconds. "Now let's go back to Britannia and the others."
Askroltia was about to continue on with her but had a nagging feeling that made him stop suddenly.
"Huh? What's wrong?" The Scandinavian asked as she felt him stop in his tracks.
Varyn was now looking back at where Illyria was still on the floor, about to cry, winded and looking like a total wreck. "Sorry Astrid, I'll feel bad if I leave her like that."
Astrid shrugged. She couldn't be mad at him for trying to do something kind.
The Celt went over to the wild blonde and helped her to her feet. He took a cloth from a nearby table to dab her eyes dry and wrapped his cloak he had brought with him around her, covering the huge stain on her dress.
"Sorry about Astrid, do you want help cleaning up a bit in the lavatory? You can join us later when you're done, I think we'll be back in the main dining room."
"No… I'll be okay on my own…" she groaned. "Thanks Varyn."
"No problem." He said, and then continuing hesitantly. "And I'm sorry Illyria, that Rome picked her over you. I know you and him had a little thing together."
"Eh, he always had something with someone, ask half the women here." The blonde muttered irritably. "I guess I need to get over this whole thing; not like it will do me any good brooding over it."
"I think… I think that would be for the best. Just keep a level head okay? I appreciate the flattering remarks from before but you know…" he trailed off.
"Yeah, yeah, thanks for helping me, now go back to Astrid; she really cares about you, you know?"
"Yeah… I noticed. Just be careful for the rest of the night okay?"
"Ugh, I'll try..." she said somewhat groggily, and began to walk away.
"What a gentleman you are." Astrid teased as the dirty blonde returned to her.
"I wouldn't have had to do that if it weren't for you."
"Hey I'm not apologizing, whore was trying to take you away. I can't have that."
"Whatever." Varyn said, jokingly rolling his eyes.
When they returned to the group from before, Britannia, who had seen the whole ordeal, pulled Varyn aside for a second.
"Seems like she's really claimed you." She whispered.
"I don't mind, she can do whatever she wants." Varyn replied, grinning.
"Hey Astrid, Gwyneth, Varyn! Hurry over here, I want to tell my story about hunting crocodiles on the Nile!" Egypt yelled.
Some time later
Varyn wished he had refused to get Astrid alcohol from the very beginning. Now here she was, hammered and practically draped over him as they laid upon a couch. He himself was also tipsy, but not nearly as bad as her, though he didn't know how well he could deal with her in his current state.
"Astrid, what are you-" he started when she started moving.
"No no, don't speak, or move… just let me…" she said sprawling out further over his lap and onto the sofa, "lay here…"
In less than a minute she was out cold
Should have guessed this would happen.
As he thought this, Romulus passed by him, and Varyn tapped him to get attention.
"Hey Romulus, I know you've probably already heard this plenty of times tonight, but congratulations on getting married; I really mean it. Helena seems like a great woman and I wish you two the best."
Romulus looked somewhat surprised, not used to the northerner saying kind things to him. "Uh… thanks Varyn, that means a lot coming from you." He then began to smirk as he looked at the blonde sprawled across him. "But more importantly isn't there a greater manner at hand concerning you?"
Varyn could tell what he was getting at immediately. "Romulus…"
"Oh come on Varyn when are you going to man up and seal the deal with her? She seems plenty willing too! Perfectly ripe for the taking!"
"Could you not talk about her like she's some trophy I have to claim? She means a lot more to me than a mere medal to carry around like I have something to prove."
Rome smiled. "Sounds more genuine than I imagined. Just make sure she knows that." With that he patted the Celt on the shoulder and strode off.
Varyn sighed, how long would people tease him about this whole thing?
"Hey Varyn…" a voice suddenly said from below.
Askroltia looked down, it appeared he misjudged the Scandinavian's fatigue, as she was still awake.
"Was what you just said true?" She asked, staring at him with her stunning blue eyes.
Varyn did not dare look away from her at that moment. "Yeah…"
She sat up to be closer to him. "Good. Just promise me that you'll have eyes for no one else but me."
He then smiled. "Astrid, after spending so much time with you, how could I be interested in average women?"
"I don't know." She smirked, and leaned into him.
He put a finger to her lips. "Astrid, you're drunk."
"Ughhhhh, you're no fun as always… guess it doesn't even matter, I know you don't have the guts to do anything with me."
"More like I don't have the desire to…"
Astrid wrapped her arms around him, squeezing slightly painfully. He didn't mind though, and kissed her forehead. "At least in such haste. I just want to take my time, is that okay?"
"Yeah…" She grumbled, burying her face into his chest.
I wonder how much of this she'll even remember.
It was at that moment that Germania walked by. When he saw the two, he a gave a quick thumbs up, which looked rather odd with his otherwise completely expressionless figure.
Well, maybe it isn't such a bad idea if everyone else supports it...
A few hours later
The night was running late and so the entire party too needed to come to an end. Helena wanted to end things with throwing her ceremonial torch into a crowd of maidens, which whoever caught was said to be married next.
The Greek woman blew out the torch atop a small stage, said a quiet prayer which it cooled down, and then hurled it behind her, a crowd of excited non-married women clustered together waiting to catch it.
It flew through the air and soared just above most of the hands that reached to grab it, but two specifically determined women jumped up to reach for it. Both Gaul and Scandinavia managed to get their hands on it, but when they did they began to fall back down, and so crashed to the floor with Astrid losing her grip, leaving Gaul as the sole catcher of the torch.
The woman was dazed for a second, but when she realized her achievement she quickly jumped up and squealed with excitement. It was then that she turned to Germania and looked at him.
"Hey Berwald." Varyn said nonchalantly to the larger man beside him.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"I think it would be wise to make yourself scarce from this premise right now."
"I think I'd have to agree with you there Varyn."
And so the northerner bolted out of the room, a sprinting Gaulic woman just behind him.
As the soon to be couple left the main room, a crestfallen and drunk Astrid walked over and stood at the Celt's side. "That should have been us… except you know, the you running away part."
"Yeah… you'd probably tackle me before I'd even have the chance." Varyn remarked, gently grabbing ahold of her by the waist and pulling her into him.
"Ha! Very true." She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Say, we don't need a torch to tell us that we'll be together right?"
"Are we not technically together right this very instant?" The dirty blonde retorted, walking them over to a sofa they could relax on.
"Heh, I guess you're right…" Astrid said, laying down besides him. "I don't sound desperate do I?" She asked worriedly.
"Only the good kind."
"Ughhhh… fuck you…" she mumbled, her eyes growing suddenly very heavy.
"Right back at you." Varyn replied. He also felt the effects of the long night and was beginning to doze off.
It wasn't even five minutes until the two of them were fast asleep together, leaning into each other.
Gwyneth came by at some point, smiling at the two and put a blanket over them, wishing the best for them.
It seemed as though more than just one pair of hearts were intertwined that night.