Chapter Thirty Seven
Jasper
I had no idea what Bella was doing when she took my shirt off but her touch was so soothing I wouldn't have stopped her for anything. Then I felt her hands on my naked flesh and the warmth in my chest burned hotter. I'd heard of massages although I'd never had one and I was sceptical of their supposed effect on tense muscles but within seconds I felt my own knotted ones easing and my mind unravelling from tension too. This was as close to heaven as I had ever been and I savoured every second even though I expected her to pull her hands away when she felt the coarse scars that covered most of my torso, I was wrong, she never flinched, just continued. By the time she finished I felt a strange emotion which showed on my face, happiness. I was smiling, something I had almost forgotten how to do. I opened my eyes to find her face inches from mine as she leaned closer and touched my lips with her own.
"How do you feel now?"
"Great, thank you, but I might need a repeat visit"
"As often as you like. You have a beautiful body by the way, I noticed that when you erupted out of the snow at the cabin"
I remembered the struggle to get to her, my nakedness, which I hadn't even thought of until now. I shrugged,
"Sorry about that. I wasn't expecting visitors."
"Don't be, you are beautiful and it was so good to see you, I didn't care that you weren't wearing anything, just relieved you were still alive."
"Alive? That's a moot point!"
"Not to me it isn't. You are a man first and a vampire second. You didn't ask for what happened to you, you did the best you could with what fate dealt you"
I shook my head with a grimace,
"I wish that were true Bella but it isn't, far from it. I gave up, too many years striving to find peace eroded my soul. I wasn't even trying to survive"
She smiled and laying beside me brought her face close to mine
"You're wrong Jasper. You tried so hard. Fought for your life. You may think you gave up but unconsciously you were still continuing the struggle and you won. You stayed alive long enough for me to find you."
"And now you've found me Bella what do you intend to do? You've already broken with your father, how many more sacrifices will it take before you realize I'm not worth it?"
She stood up very quickly and I saw a flash of anger in her eyes as she pulled on my hands sitting me up and moving to stand between my legs.
"Now you listen to me Jasper Whitlock, I don't care what sacrifices I make for you, they will all be worth it but what I won't allow is for you to put yourself down all the time. I know what you are, what you were and how you lived. That was then, this is now. All I care about is the present and the future, I love you and you love me or we wouldn't be here in this room now. Understand?"
I couldn't remember the last time someone had spoken to me like this, she sounded remarkably like Peter and Charlotte and I nodded.
"I understand, please forgive me"
She smiled and nodded,
"Good. Now you rest while I take a bath and loosen the knots in my own muscles, then I'll tell you a story about a ferocious human, you'll like it. Oh yes, could you ring room service and order me something to eat, I'm famished."
I nodded having no idea what she liked to eat but took the room service menu from her as she went out of the room. I missed her immediately but completed my task then looked at the bathroom door which had been pulled to but not shut. I wanted to be with her but I was unsure if she would welcome my presence.
"Well are you coming in? The water will be cold if you debate much longer."
With a smile I walked into the bathroom to see her in a tub full of bubbles, her skin pink and the smell, enriched by the warm water, intoxicating. She offered me the sponge,
"Could you do my back please"
I dipped the sponge in the bubbles and ran it gently over her silky skin followed by my other hand and she shivered
"Sorry my hand is too cold"
She smiled up at me,
"No, actually I was shivering because it felt so good, don't stop."
I knelt down and kissed the space where her neck and shoulder met, unable to believe I was so close to this goddess. I ran my hands over her back and across her shoulders wanting to reach around and cup her breast but unwilling to do anything that might get me banished from her side.
Hearing the knock on the door I cursed silently but went out to admit the room service trolley. By the time I got back she was out of the bath and wrapped in a huge fluffy towel, her hair pinned up exposing her swan like neck. I could see the pulse beating below the skin and hear her heartbeat sending the sweetly aromatic blood round her body. She smiled and took my hands,
"You won't hurt me Jasper."
She seemed to know what I was thinking instinctively but I appreciated her words. I had thought how delicious her blood smelled but I had no intention of biting her, she was far too precious to me and my survival for that. I watched as she sat down and took the covers off the hot food. It didn't smell very appetizing to me but she seemed happy with my choices. As she ate the towel loosened and I saw a hint of breast and her thigh, wanting to reach out and touch them both but controlling myself with difficulty. She was so desirable my body ached for her, for her touch, for our bodies to touch with no clothing between us. I tried to remember the last time I had been intimate with a woman but it was so long ago. I wasn't sure I could even remember how to control myself, to make it last more than a few seconds, especially as I was already hard with need.
When she finished eating she turned to me and smiled then got up and went over to the connecting door and locked it then hung the "Do not disturb" sign on the outside of our door before coming over to me and kissing my jaw,
"Take me to bed Jasper. I know you want me and I need you, now"
The words meant nothing, I had seen the look in her eyes that told me so much more. I took her hand and led her gently to the bed unwrapping the towel to expose her naked body to me. My throat went dry and a new burn tormented me, but this thirst I could quench and I lay her down then slipped off my pants and joined her, holding her close to feel her nakedness against mine, my excitement throbbing against her belly as I kissed her face, her neck, her breasts, and followed my kisses with my hands. As I traced the contours of her body the need in me grew and I had to have her now.