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Old Habits
After a month of intensive physical therapy, Emily has a meeting at the base with one of her commanding officers and Dr. Young to see if she is fit to return to active duty. Unfortunately Alison has a big Skype meeting with the heads of the studio at the same time to start working on casting for the movie. "Baby I'm so sorry, I tried to reschedule but this is the only time they are all available." Alison says with a frown furrowing her brows.
Emily walks over to her and rubs away the creases on her forehead, "I understand Ali, this is a huge deal for you and I am so very proud of you." She says kissing her softly before grabbing the car keys. "Knock em dead babe!" She says as she heads out.
"Good luck, see you in about an hour right?" Alison asks.
"Yeah, it shouldn't take too long. Love you Ali." Emily says with a small smile.
"Love you mermaid. Here take this to get you something to eat afterward, I'm not sure how long this meeting will take" Alison says before Emily leaves.
"Thank you babe." Emily says with a sad smile as she closes the door.
On the drive over Emily starts to get nervous, her leg hasn't really improved much. She just hopes it's enough; she is going crazy feeling so useless. Alison has been paying for everything and spoiling her rotten. She wonders how much longer Alison will be willing to put up with her not contributing anything. The thought of Alison leaving or feeling weighed down because of her was too much to take. She has been so depressed these last few months but she has been trying to hide it from Alison because she has been so busy with the movie and her second book. She really didn't want to put anymore undue stress on Ali. Plus she didn't want to admit that she was weak and starting to drown a bit in this useless feeling.
She pulls up to the base and is greeted by James, "Fields! Long time no see."
Emily can't help but smile, "Hey James."
"Love the girlfriend, she's something special." She says with a sweet smile.
Emily giggles. "She is!" Emily says a bit possessively.
"I'm not interested in her, thank you very much." She says in mock hurt. "Now your mother on the other hand…"
Emily's mouth falls open in shock, she laughs, "See you later James."
"Later!" She says opening the gate for Emily.
She pulls up in front of the CO's office and parks, as she exits the car she concentrates all of her energy on walking. She doesn't want to limp into the office or show any type of weakness. As she walks in she sees Dr. Young shaking General Evans hand before walking towards the front.
"Hello Sgt. Fields." He says thoughtfully as he walks closer.
"Good evening Dr. Young." She says with a small head nod.
"Sgt. Fields!" She hears from down the hall. "I'm ready for you." General Evans says with a kind smile.
"Have a good day." Dr. Young says as he heads out.
"You as well." She says as he waves.
She walks carefully as not to limp as she heads toward his office. As she enters he gestures for her to sit at one of the leather chairs across from his desk. He shuffles a few papers around on his desk. "First off I would like to thank you for your service to our Country; you were a huge asset in Afghanistan. Your unit had the least fatalities and infections; it was also one of the smoothest running clinics." He says beaming with pride. "You also showed great courage when your unit's jeep hit an IED." He decides not to mention Sgt. Taylor as she had recently passed. "Dr. Young has gone over the injuries and how it is healing and we have come to the conclusion that you are unfit for active duty due to the lingering effect of the injury. We are releasing you with an honorable discharge." He says somewhat sad.
Emily can feel something break inside as she mechanically stands up and shakes his hand. "Th-thank you sir." She tells him numbly.
He smiles a bit, "Thank you Sgt. Fields."
She walks to the car in a haze and sits in the driver's seat. She can't move, she can hardly breathe, all these thoughts begin to plague her. Not good enough, weak, useless! She feels hot tears drop on her hands; she didn't even realize she had started crying. Alison's never going to want you like this! This was the final straw, first was the dollhouse, followed by the incident in Afghanistan, then the whole Liz debacle and court hearing where she is only found guilty of assault, and now this. It was just too much for her to process. After the tears stop she pulls herself together and drives off base. She gives James a rushed goodbye not wanting to fall apart again.
Before she even thinks about where she is going, she is sitting in front of the same bar she went to all those times before when she came back from Afghanistan.
She walks in and notices that the other bartender was not there. Must be her day off! She thinks as she sits at the bar. "Hello there gorgeous, why the sad face?" The bartender asks her with a sweet smile.
Emily tries to give her a smile but it comes out looking more like a pained sneer. "Horrible past few years." She grunts out.
"Sorry to hear it sexy, what ya drinking?" She asks flirtatiously.
Emily ignores it and says, "Scotch…make it a double!" She says putting the $50 on the bar.
Alison meeting goes exceptionally well; they had cast most of the movie and set a schedule to start filming next week. The meeting had been almost 2 hours and she was starting to get extremely nervous because Emily hasn't come home yet. She paces in the living room trying to decide what to do. She beats herself up for not getting Emily a phone but she never really thought about it because they were almost always together.
After another 15 minutes she decides to call James. "Private James speaking." She says in a cheerful tone.
"Hey James it's Ali. Have you seen Em recently?" She ask a nervously.
"She left about an hour and a half ago." James says a little concerned.
"D-did she say anything…?" Alison stammers out.
"She seemed upset and a bit distracted when she left." James tells her.
"Do you know where she might have gone?" Alison asks desperately.
James thinks for a minute. "There is a bar that a lot of us go to that's about a block from here." She says trying to help.
"Okay, thank you James." Alison says before hanging up.
She looks up the number for a cab and calls because Emily has the car.
The cab pulls up in front of a small bar, Alison gets out and pays the driver and hands him $10. She thanks him as she turns and heads into the bar.
When she enters she can hear Emily's voice loud and boisterous, Emily was a happy and flirty drunk. Alison makes her way to the bar where she sees a very drunk Emily with her arm around a young looking bartender.
Emily sees Alison approaching and beams at her, "Speak of the devil, there she is my stun-ning girl-friend!" She slurs as she speaks.
The bartender weakly smiles at Alison, as if saying sorry for Emily hanging off her.
Alison tries not to snap at the woman, as she steps closer to Em. Emily wraps her arms around Alison and starts trying to nibble on her neck. "Em…stop." Alison whispers into her ear.
"But you know I can't…can't re-sist you." Emily says kissing her neck.
"Em…not in public." She says quietly.
Emily looks around and realizes that they are not alone. "So-so-sorry." She says as she almost falls.
"Let's get you home." Alison says as she reaches in her pockets looking for the keys.
Emily purrs in her ear as she digs for the keys. "S-save i-it for the bed-room." She giggles.
The bartender looks at Alison apologetically, "I have her keys right here." She says handing them Alison.
"Thank you…" She says as she tries to hold up Emily.
"Also here's her change." She says handing Alison a couple of tens and ones.
"Keep it but promise me, if she ever comes in again, refuse her service okay!" She says her inner bitch popping up a bit.
"Will do, promise." She says a little scared.
"Thank you for taking the keys and watching out for her." Alison says kindly before pulling a stumbling Emily with her.
She helps Em into the passenger seat and closes the door leaning on it she says, "Em why did you do this to yourself. " Asking no one in particular.
On the drive home Emily becomes very handsy, Alison is trying her best to ignore it and not crash the car. Emily tries to crawl over the center console and kiss Alison's neck again. "Babe! Come on now!" She light pushes Emily back.
"I w-want you, is that s-so wrong?" Emily says slurring her words as her hands wander up and down Alison's thigh.
Alison pulls into the driveway and practically dives out of the car to get away from Emily's wondering hands. She leads Emily upstairs and starts to help her undress to put her in the shower to sober up. "S-so you want me…naked huh?!" Emily giggles as she almost falls over as Alison wrestles off her pants.
"Em…why did you do this to yourself?" Alison asks looking into Em's glassy eyes.
"Don't…don't want to talk ab-about it. I want you… I need you now!" Emily says hanging off Alison begging.
"You need a shower and some sleep, is what you need Em!" Alison says firmly.
Emily pouts as Alison has to almost force her in the shower. Emily squeals a bit when the cold water hits here. She washes herself quickly as she shivers and mumbles to herself.
"The faster you clean up, the faster you can get out!" Alison shouts from where she's sitting on the edge of the tub.
Emily chatters, "I-I-I'm al-almost done."
Alison grabs a big fluffy towel and waits as she turns off the water. Emily shivers as she steps out and Alison wraps the towel around her. Emily starts to shake more and sobs as she falls into Alison's arms.
"Baby, what is it?" Alison says pushing a few strands of brunette hair out of Emily's face.
Emily looks up with big sad eyes and bites her trembling lip and shakes her head. "Why don't we get dressed for bed and we can snuggle up and talk?" She says smiling at Emily.
Emily nods and Alison leads her in the bedroom and has her sit on the bed while she gets her something to sleep in. She helps Emily put on an oversized tee and some boy shorts style undies. Alison puts on a tank top and some little shorts before climbing in bed. She holds her arms open for Em, who crawls in and molds herself to Ali's side. She wraps her arm around Alison grabbing her shirt tightly.
"What happened baby?" Alison asks gently while stroking her hair lovingly.
She can still feel Emily trembling as she speaks, "I-I can't return to active duty." She says in a rush. "I'm useless!" She cries out.
Alison puts a finger under Emily's chin and brings her eye level to her, "Emily Fields, don't you ever call yourself worthless!" She says with tears in her eyes. "You mean the world to me and so much more."
Emily's lip quivers, "B-but I don't contribute anything, I am broken…"
Alison leans down and captures Emily's lips in a soft loving kiss. She pulls back and rests her head on Emily's maintaining eye contact. "You make me a better person Em, don't you see?! I love taking care of you, it makes me happy!" She says tears falling as she speaks. "I don't know what I would do if-if I lost you Em?" She says with desperation in her voice.
"A-Ali I'm so sorry, it was just… everything was so fucked up." She says in exasperation. Alison just looks at her in reassurance, waiting for her to finish her thoughts. "T-the dollhouse, my unit all dying, th-that bitch only getting charged with assault, T-Taylor… and then finding out I can't… can't go back to my one purpose, it killed me." She explains through painful sobs.
"Em, I wish you would of talk to me sooner." She says catching the tears that fall. "You can talk to me baby." She says with assurance.
Emily smile at her through her tears and snuggles into her, "I won't let it get this bad again, I promise."
Alison holds her tightly as they both fall asleep wrapped up in each other.