Chapter 37: In your room
You manage to escape after an hour or so and, as you'd assumed, Kate and Gladys have made themselves comfortable in your room again, amongst a nest of house photographs and descriptions. You don't know why your room is the house-hunting headquarters all of a sudden. You shut the door behind you, resigned.
"Can you give it a rest, girls?" Gladys looks up from where she's kneeling on the floor, book of calculations in front of her.
"I thought you were the one that wanted to buy a house?" She asks, puzzled.
"It's happening so fast," you say, sitting heavily next to Kate on the bed.
"But you said we'd have to wait until we had a place of our own." Kate says, and her eyebrows furrow.
"I said I needed time as well as privacy, Kate," you remind her.
"It'll take time to buy a house anyhow, we might as well start as soon as we can. I don't know why you're so… half-hearted about this."
"Because every time I think you might be serious, I think of the way you looked at me after I kissed you. I think how you'd rather go live with a man that abused you your whole life than even be in the same city as me. Or sometime I even think you set me up for killing your father, and you still feel guilty about that." You hadn't realized you been holding these words back until they're spilling out of your mouth and hitting Kate in the face like they're punching her and you wish you could take them back but you can't. But once you're finished she sighs and scoots over next to you. You hang your head but she lifts your chin and makes you face her.
"I'm all in, Betty. What else can I do to prove that?" She looks hurt and it makes your heart ache.
"I don't know, Kate," you say. She reaches for your hand, but stops and puts her own back in her lap.
"Do… do you not want to buy a house with me?" And she looks so crushed and, well, you never could say no to that face.
"It's not that, Kate. It's just that it's going to take a while to trust you again, to forget."
"Well, what if you replace those memories with better ones?" She says quietly, looking down at her feet.
"Like what." She raises her head and intensity of her gaze bores a hole straight through you.
"Like me telling you I want to spend the rest of my life with you? I'd marry you if I could, but…" she shrugs. "The part of my life before you were in it? It's not something I like to think about. And the part of my life where I spend the rest of it with you? I love you and I can't wait for it to start. I'm sorry if I'm rushing you. I'll try to be patient. But I need to know how long you need."
It takes almost a minute, while you steady your breathing, to come up with a reply.
"You find a house, I'll be ready." Kate's hand finds yours after all.
"You're sure?" She asks, and you shrug.
"You said it'll take awhile to find a house anyhow." You raise your eyes to meet hers. "Sounds to me like you just proposed. If you're ready for that, guess I can be too."
It takes a few seconds for the both of you to tear your eyes away from each other and look to where Gladys is bouncing up and down on her heels with excitement.
"Oh, now we have to find you a house!" She says, and for a moment you wonder what you've got yourself into. But then Gladys flings herself at the two of you and everything feels right.
And for once Gladys has the foresight to know the two of you want to be alone for a few minutes and discretely excuses herself with the flimsy excuse of needing the washroom. And she has the decency to knock before coming back in so you have time to rearrange each other's slightly disarrayed hair and clothing.
Author's note: Just another thank you to everyone reading this - you guys are great and your reviews are just... the best part of my day. Thanks.
Title from the K's Choice song 'In Your Room'.