A/N: Last chapter and I still don't own Twilight. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 35: Forgiveness?

Edward.

I was a nervous wreck.

And that must have been the biggest understatement ever. I don't think I had ever been more nervous and anxious before in my entire life. And that is a lot to say for someone who lived on the streets for about a year.

I was pacing around the living room, pulling my hair so hard that at some point I thought I would just literally tear it out.

"Edward, you can still call it off, you know," Bella said, annoyance but also worry visible in her eyes.

For a moment I thought about it; just cancelling the whole damn thing, taking a seat on the couch and relaxing, but in the end that wouldn't solve a goddamned thing. I had to be brave and I had to face them.

"No, I can't. I need this to be over with now," I stated forcefully, both trying to convince Bella and myself.

"Okay then, let's get moving!"

My heart was pounding ferociously as I walked outside, my hands were shaking and I was probably sweating like a pig who was about to be slaughtered.

Yeah, I was going to make a fucking good impression this way!

"Masen is okay, right?" I asked, needing the confirmation once again before I could step inside the car.

"Yes, Alice and Jasper are taking care of him and Alice's mom is stopping by this afternoon as well," she said, probably for the fifteenth time today. It was the first time I was leaving my boy behind and it wasn't exactly something I liked doing. Especially because I wasn't about to do something I liked in general.

I was finally going to face the two people who claimed to be my parents. I was finally going to try and find closure with everything. And as much as it excited me, it mostly scared the crap out of me.

All I could imagine were things that could go wrong. And believe me, there was a lot to take in account when you're meeting your parents who never showed you any love throughout your entire childhood and ended up throwing you out of their house like a piece of garbage.

Luckily, Bella had been the rational one in all this mess and had helped me with all of the appointments and shit so now, if I decided that I didn't want anything to do with them after this, they wouldn't be able to find me because of this little encounter today.

We were going all the way to Vancouver, to some little restaurant I had never been to before. It was far away from our home and everything we had now.

Today's appointment could pass without any harm if I wanted that. Well, apart from mental harm. But I think I was already immune to that after what they had already done to me.

I didn't know what my parents were up to. Maybe they had just agreed on this 'meeting' to call me out again and break me mentally or whatever. It was all so damn confusing.

By the time we had pulled up in front of the little Italian restaurant, I was completely losing it. For the entire drive, I had been going back and forth on the entire matter, contemplating pro's and con's for the umpteenth time.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea," I whispered, unable to move out of my seat.

"No way, we've come all the way over here," Bella stated firmly, "It's too late to chicken out now!"

It took me another twenty minutes to actually get out of the car and I could see the concern in Bella's eyes every time I got hold of the door handle just to retreat it again.

Once I finally did get out, she offered me a weak smile, but one that had an encouraging message as well.

Move on.

After taking another deep breath I forced my feet to move towards the entrance. My heart was racing in my chest as I stepped inside the brownish red, overly filled with furniture, dining room.

My glance instantly fell on the two figures in the back of the room, as if it had already registered that they were there without even having the need to check the entire place. There weren't much people in the restaurant, but still, I was kind of freaked out by my own ability to spot them so easily.

They both looked worn out, dead tired and so much older than last time I'd seen them. And they obviously had both lost a few pounds. I swear my mother could easily go through as a skeleton. It was almost sickening to see what had become of my parents.

I found myself frozen in spot as I was taking them in, finding details about them, but the longer I looked the more I realized that those two people were no more than strangers to me. All I could feel was coldness rolling off from them, the same coldness I remembered feeling when I was around them as a child.

Well, that at least hadn't changed.

"Are you coming?" Bella asked, already walking towards the table, oblivious to my sudden change in demeanour.

"They're already there," I choked out, my eyes never leaving the people I referred to as my parents. I could feel my palms getting sweaty and my brain was screaming at me to run, to get the hell out of this place and never even think about returning, but Bella was looking at me with a look that doesn't allow objection.

It's too late to chicken out now!

When I still didn't move, she took me aside, out of their sight - not that they had already noticed my presence but I was happy she did nonetheless.

"Edward, look at me," Bella ordered, taking my forearms in her hands, forcing me to tear my eyes away from the floor that I suddenly found very interesting. "You are so much more than they are. You're so much better! And that's why we're here. We're here to show them that you don't need them, that you're just fine on your own!"

I swallowed hard, repeating Bella's words in my head as a mantra over and over again.

"You can do this," she added, squeezing my arms once more, showing me her support. She would be right beside me the entire time, I knew she would, and that's what ultimately had given me the strength to move forward, towards two people I hadn't seen in well over two years.

As I approached their table, I was still repeating my girl's words in my head, trying not to let fear control me.

You're so much better.

You don't need them.

I really fucking hated the way they could make me anxious just by being in the vicinity. It's not like they could harm me physically, and probably not even mentally, because in my eyes, they had already committed the worst crime by giving up on me.

Well, I guess, in the end, I just wanted them to show regret. I wanted it so fucking badly I realized I was even willing to beg to see them break down in front of me.

The moment my mother looked up at me, looked me straight in the eyes, I could already tell that I wouldn't have to beg. There wasn't much left of the woman I had known - even though it was only barely. She used to be strong, independent and intimidating. But the woman sitting in that booth was nothing but intimidating. She was weak and broken, like a slight breeze would already be enough to blow her away.

My father was no better. He was slumped down, looking a little less bad as my mother, but enough to see that he as well wasn't the same person as he was when he threw me out of his house.

The CEO of Cullen Enterprises was no longer.

"Edward." Elisabeth's voice was just as fragile as her demeanour as she spoke my name but even though it should have made me feel horrible to see my parents like this, it gave me strength. Strength to know that now I had actually more power than they had. I was fine without them, they weren't so much without me and my siblings.

"We didn't expect you to come," Mark said, a little smile tugging on his lips as he took me in, "But I'm really glad you did."

I didn't respond to either of them but just took my seat in the booth, opposite to them and waited for Bella to be seated to say something.

"Bella, Elisabeth and Mark. Elisabeth and Mark, Bella," I introduced, emotionless. I could see my mother cringe at the use of her first name instead of the word 'mom'. I would never be able to call her mom. She had never been my mom in the first place. Mother was already difficult enough.

"Nice to meet you," my father said, throwing glanced between the two of us, obviously trying to figure out how much Bella meant to me.

Bella nodded in agreement but I could see the angry glances she was throwing at them. She had my back and I loved her even more for it.

"How have you been?" Mark continued, obviously trying to start a conversation but I actually couldn't utter a single word. I mean, who did he actually think he was, asking me how I was? I could have been dead for all that mattered.

Well, I would be if it weren't for Bella.

"Good," I replied after an uncomfortable silence. And if I say uncomfortable I mean really fucking uncomfortable.

I didn't mean to be rude actually, as I really wanted to make this dinner worth it, but I just had so much hatred inside of me, boiling under the surface that I just couldn't seem to make a decent sentence.

Luckily the waiter soon showed up, giving all of us a moment to feel less awkward. For a moment I thought about just getting up again and leaving the room because this was just leading nowhere. I had a feeling that we would just end up eating in silence, saying absolutely nothing and that'd be it.

"You don't live in Vancouver anymore, do you?" my father asked me, once the waiter had left, destroying my plans to just get up and leave.

I contemplated a moment before answering the question but then decided that they still couldn't find me if I told them I didn't live in Vancouver.

Yup, and entire world of land left to search for me.

"No, we don't," I replied, giving them something to think about by adding "we" to it.

My mother's eyes widened for a moment before she slowly nodded.

"Then where do you live?" she asked, carefully.

I had to bite my tongue not to give them some snide remark about how we had gone over this. I had been very clear about not wanting to tell them where I lived now, but apparently they didn't get it.

"Edward, why don't you come back to Vancouver? We can start over again. Get to know each other for real," my mother said, her voice so hopeful it made me want to throw up.

And that's when it had happened. That's when the anger had broken through the surface.

"Fuck it! Seriously! Fuck it," I yelled, standing up from my chair to give my words more force. I was now bending over the table, my eyes boring into those of my parents. "You never did anything for us. All you cared about is work, work work. You didn't even look at us."

"Edw-"

"No, you don't have the right to decide for me what I should do now! You can't expect me to just drop everything and come back!"

I was so mad at that time I swore I could have thrown the table across the restaurant. Adrenaline was pumping though my veins at top speed as I said everything I had held back for so long.

"I'm not a child anymore! I can make my own fucking decisions now! I don't need you and I guess I never have. I'm fucking fine on my own and I don't need you to start babying me now, because you've given up that right the minute you decided work was far more important!"

I was gripping the table so hard I would break through it any moment now.

"How could you? How could you leave three children behind every fucking day? I couldn't even fucking leave my boy for a day today, and you, you just took off for entire months, not even caring that we might want our parents home!" I continued, feeling really fucking victorious until I realized what I had just said.

"Your boy?" Elisabeth's eyes suddenly shot up, boring into mine when she as well registered those words.

Fuck.

I quickly looked at Bella, panic overtaking my anger for a moment.

Fuck. The only thing I had wanted to keep from them. Masen.

And I hadn't even succeeded in that. My anger had taken over my rational brain and had caused me to slip. I felt defeated for some very odd reason. Like my biggest secret was now out in the open, ready for everyone to take advantage of it.

I slumped in my chair, all my anger gone as I watched my mother's face tear up once again.

"You have a boy?" she asked again, her voice so fragile it made me want to crawl under the table for yelling at her. What's up with those mixed emotions? GOD!

Why did she have that effect on me even though I hated her? I ignored her question though, not willing to confirm it, even though not saying anything was enough of a confirmation for her.

"I'm so happy for you," she whispered hoarsely.

We all remained silent for what seemed like forever. During the course of events, Bella had placed her hand on my thigh, squeezing it slightly to both calm me down and show me that she was okay with the whole slipping thing.

All of my anger was slowly dying and was all of a sudden replaced by sadness because of my lost childhood.

"Why?"

The word had left my mouth before my brain had registered it.

Both Elisabeth and Mark were now staring at me, hurtful looks on their faces. I didn't need to explain what I meant by that word, they knew it.

"And please don't tell me that you were trying to give us everything a child could ever wish for by working that much," I added, tired of hearing that same excuse over and over again.

"We were blinded by the money," Mark said, his voice full of regret. His eyes were cast down, to the table. For the first time they were admitting it. I knew it, of course. I had known the real reason for a while now and to be honest I hadn't expect them to be so straightforward about it. I had expected them to try and talk their way out of it a bit more, but they didn't.

They simply admitted that they had been wrong.

And that was enough for me to forget about the anger that had controlled me minutes ago.

"You can't expect me to forgive you," I said truthfully, because I knew I would never ever get over the way they treated my siblings and me when we were children.

"We don't," Elisabeth said, but I could hear the sadness in her voice. Of course it was only normal for them to hope for it. For a fresh start. But at least they were smart enough to know it would not happen.

"I can't stay mad at you though."

Three pairs of eyes suddenly stared at me, confused the main emotion but relief was visible as well.

"Because if you guys wouldn't have thrown me out, I would have never been walking that street where I met Bella," I added, throwing a loving glance at my beautiful girl next to me and she was smiling widely at me as well.

Pretty damn fucking fantastic feeling.

After that we spend the rest of the evening just chatting. I refused to give them more details about Masen though, but they did get a short version about how Bella and I met.

I must admit, it was awkward. They were still strangers to me. People whom I had known my entire life, but still knew nothing about.

They gave me a short version of their lives, going further in detail about everything they'd gone through after I was gone and then after Madelyn and Emmett left as well.

I was watching two people who had fallen apart because they lost something they never thought they would in the first place. And it had only hit them at that moment that they were losing something. Too late of course.

Thanks to Carlisle they had found themselves a good psychiatrist, someone who had been helping them for a while now, helping them sort out priorities and had helped them learn to deal with the lost of all their children because of their stupid, selfish behaviour.

And as they were talking, showing me every way they were trying to get better, trying to move forward and away from the people they used to be, I realized that maybe not everything was lost. Maybe this could be the start of something new. The start of a whole new future combined with flashed of the past.

A/N: And that was it. I know it was a quick ending, but I kinda felt like this was the end. I could have written another chapter but it would have been meaningless so.

There is still an epilogue to come and I'll probably post it Tuesday (if I have time, 'cause I'll be celebrating the end of my exams :D)

MidnightSunSC17, thank you for everything! I love you!

Interested in more? Check out the epilogue of my new fic Tongue Tied ;)

Love, Ellen