Ishimaru strode over to the door, shoving it open with both hands and striding out of the gym. The entryway to the gym was a bigger mess than he thought possible – the hamsters were indeed wreaking havoc, scurrying around and chewing on things. The golden replica sword had several teeth marks in it, and three out of the four hamsters were covered in the gold dust that came off if you were to simply brush against it. Sayaka Maizono and Kyouko Kirigiri stood a few feet away from each other, glancing at each other and then away every few seconds.

A hamster ran over his foot and he jumped back. He could hear the cackling of Enoshima, but he decided that he could leave her for later.

He turned to Oowada. "Oowada. Go get Tanaka."

Oowada looked like he was going to argue, but saw the look on Ishimaru's face and apparently thought better of it. He left, ducking his head and muttering something as he went. The hamsters continued to wreak havoc, and Ishimaru turned around and snatched Souda's beanie off of his head. Souda wailed.

"Please be quiet Souda-kun, you will get your hat back later," Ishimaru said. He shoved the hat in Kuwata's hands. "Kuwata-kun, you are the most athletic and coordinated one here. Catch the hamsters and put them in the hat."

"What?"

"Oh, for God's sake," Hinata muttered. He grabbed the hat and launched himself at a hamster. Ishimaru watched with a sort of admiration before turning to Kirigiri and Maizono.

"What is going on between you two?"

Maizono tilted her head to the side. "It's a bit embarrassing," she said.

"You are part of the problem, so tell me what is going on. I cannot fix this until you two have been reconciled. Frankly, I wasn't even aware there was any sort of personal relationship to go back to with you two, but I suppose there is, and therefore it must happen."

"I went out with Kuwata-kun once to make her jealous," Maizono said. She shrugged, then giggled behind her hand. "It wasn't the best decision."

"Wait a second!" Kuwata said. Souda snickered a little, and Kuwata pointed at him. "You, quiet. But – Maizono-chan, you were just-"

"I'm sorry," Maizono said. Ishimaru blinked a few times, and Kirigiri crossed her arms. Maizono turned to her. "Please can we forget this stupid mistake that I made?"

Kirigiri looked like she had to think about it with one arm crossed over her stomach and an elbow propped on top of it to give her the maximum of thoughtful poses. A hamster launched itself at Ishimaru's face and he caught it onehanded. Hinata, bleeding and breathing hard, took the hamster from him and shoved it into Souda's hat. Ishimaru wondered what could be taking Oowada so long.

"I'm free next Saturday," she said, and Maizono beamed. The two of them left, arm-in-arm, and Kuwata slammed his head against the wall until Ishimaru pushed him away from it.

"That is taken care of! Hinata-kun, how many hamsters have you caught!"

"Two," Hinata called. He was lying on the floor with his face bleeding and both hands clutching Souda's hat, which was wriggling. "Also, Souda, I think that one or both of them took a shit in your hat."

"Hinata, you were supposed to be my soul friend!" Souda wailed. "Soul friends don't let hamsters-"

"That is enough from you," Ishimaru said. He strode over to the door and peered out into the hallway. No sign of Oowada or Tanaka, just Enoshima sliding down the wall and laughing madly. "Hinata! Status of the hamsters!"

"Ruining my life!"

Ishimaru nodded, turned around and took the hamsters in the hat from Hinata, leaving him to catch more. Kuwata looked like he was going to start banging his head against the wall again, so Ishimaru pointed Souda in the direction of him and told him to distract the baseball player. The hamsters looked to be trying to eat through the hat, which Ishimaru thought Souda would not be very happy about, but sacrifices had to be made in the line of duty.

Just when it seemed like they would all be overcome by the power of the hamsters, the doors blew open and Gundam Tanaka stepped in, scarf covering half of his face and eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"You called on me?" he asked, his voice rising over the chaos. Ishimaru handed him the hat of hamsters. "You DARE treat the FOUR DARK GODS OF DESTRUCTION IN SUCH A MANNER?"

"There was no choice, Tanaka-kun, please catch the others," Ishimaru said. He turned and ran straight into Oowada's chest. "Oowada-kun! It is madness-"

Oowada kissed him, then and there, in front of everyone. Ishimaru went limp, more than a little shocked, and when Oowada let go of his face he saw that Oowada was bright red. "I didn't want to – I mean, if-"

Ishimaru responded by kissing him back, because it felt right for the situation even though chaos reigned around them – oh, no, he couldn't do this, he had to fix everything first. "I will be back, Oowada-kun," he said, pulling away. "I need to take care of this."

"Like fuck you do! Let Tanaka-"

"No, Oowada-kun," Ishimaru said. "I am the hall monitor. I need to fix it."

He left Oowada then, turning with his back straight and his chin up. He picked up Souda's hat and handed it back to him, running through the best way to wash it. He manhandled Kuwata away from the wall, which he was still trying to strike with his head repeatedly, and put him in Souda's arms. He picked up Hinata and helped him walk with promises to get him to the infirmary as soon as it was all over.

"Tanaka-kun," he said. "Please keep better control of your hamsters next time."

Tanaka nodded, leaving on a hazy cloud of doom and the sounds of several aggravated hamsters. Ishimaru took a deep breath, nodded, and mentally put cleaning this mess up on his list of things people could do in detention.

"Let me take him," Oowada said, appearing at Hinata's other side and taking most of his weight. "Fuck, bro, you look exhausted."

"I am fine," Ishimaru said. He blinked a few times. "Is Enoshima-kun gone? I do not hear her laughing anymore."

He headed out into the hallway to see for himself and saw Junko Enoshima crumpled on the floor with her face in her arms. "You didn't even pretend to give up!" she said through sobs. "It's so- despair-inducing – in my soul-"

"I believe I will call your sister and ask her to take care of you," Ishimaru said. He was a bit disturbed by Junko Enoshima, and did not quite want to continue this conversation with her, so he didn't. He waited for Oowada – still carting Hinata, of course – and the two of them walked off together.

Two more chapters, I think – one to sort of tie up Souda and Kuwata, and then one to just sort of finish everything up.

Also! I was going to have this done by the end of the year, but that is not happening, so I'm just going to be updating on Saturdays until it's over. So, this coming Saturday and the Saturday after that, and then we'll be done. Which is kind of sad. This fanfiction has been… a journey.