Note to readers: I am aggrieved to say that I was unable to finish this chapter in its entirety. I have taken on yet another job to help supplement the rising gas prices and living expenses. It has severely cut into my writing time. Instead of prolonging the cliffhanger for another few months, or God knows when I would ever get to finish it, I have decided to post this first scene. I know it is disappointingly short, but at least it has some closure. I will continue with the next portion as soon as I can. Thank you for understanding.

Chapter: 35 (Part One)

Truth or Dare?

Claira could feel Severus's black gimlet eyes staring at her through the swirling darkness, as their bodies soared towards the surface of the basin. She tried to speak but was muted by the sudden, cold thrust of the pensieve as it spat them out feet first.

They were now standing in the makeshift attic. Severus, with his hand still clamped on her arm, pulled her roughly against his chest. He moved his face within inches of hers. Lips almost touching, breathing shallow, he hissed, "How dare you?"

He then pushed her away from him with such a brute force that Claira fell to the floor, her knees scraping across its coarse surface. Her hair spilled over her shoulders and into her face, masking her shame.

She held back her tears, and pleaded, "Severus, please, I didn't mean to - "

"Get caught?" he spat. "Answer me this, how did you manage it? Only my wand alone could bring down those wards. Who sent you?" His eyes narrowed. "The Dark Lord?"

It all made perfect sense to him now. Why else would a beautiful young woman be interested in a man such as himself, and sleep with him no less? He knew the inner workings of a spy all too well. She had discovered a weakness in his armor, and had used her sexual allure as a weapon to penetrate the most guarded chambers of his mind.

How could he have been so trusting? He trusted no one.

Claira felt a sharp pain in her heart: his accusation had cut through her like the rusted edge of a sword. "What? No one! The staircase was there when I entered the room. How could you even assume -? You must believe me!"

"That, my dear, would require trust," he said in disgust. "And I don't trust you now." His lip quivered as he approached her. "Look at me!"

He grabbed her jaw and tilted her face upwards. His eyes penetrated hers. "Legilimens."

She had been in his study, peeping behind tapestries and rummaging through his desk. She had come close to uncovering a verboten scroll - but no, her hand passed over its hiding hole behind a loose stone on the fireplace wall.

Then she had stolen into his bedchambers. There indeed was the staircase. He had forgotten to conceal it in his rush to return to Snape Manor the previous night. Damn.

He broke eye contact

So, she had told him the truth, but that did not excuse her treachery. The fact remained that she had deliberately entered his quarters in search of that which was forbidden. There was then only one question that he needed to address before taking the appropriate action.

"Why?" he whispered.

Claira bowed her head, allowing her curls to fall over her face once more. "I wanted to know why you keep me at arm's length, why you push me away only to pull me back again. When you left last night, without saying goodbye, I wondered where you had gone. I wondered if I had done something wrong or said something to offend you." She lifted her gaze. Her eyes searched his dark glower for a sign of acceptance, and forgiveness. He offered her neither. "I was confused, hurt… I thought, maybe, if I knew your past, I would get to understand you. But you would never talk to me about it."

"And with due cause, you stupid girl! Did you really think I wanted to share my history with you? That my sins were something to be discussed over a cup of tea?" His face twisted in anger. "No, those were my thoughts you stole! Those were my bloody memories!"

His eyes flashed at her. In them, Claira saw hate, rage, anguish and…. shame?

Her lips parted in shock. Not once had she stopped to think her actions that night might cause him embarrassment: he had always stood so proud in the face of scrutiny. Looking at him now, however, Claira could not deny her fault in the matter. He had every right to be furious. But did her actions warrant such a fierce reaction? Perhaps.

She had to make him see reason.

Severus scowled and turned his back to her, one hand slipping into his robe pocket to retrieve his wand. His voice suddenly lowered to an icy, almost inaudible whisper. "I trust you now have the answers you so eagerly sought? Tell me, are you satisfied with your findings? Does it bring you pleasure to know I was an abused child? A murderer?"

Claira's chest began to burn at the insult of his words. How could he say something so heinous? He acted as though she had gotten some sort of sick gratification out of watching him suffer. Despite her fear of him at that moment, a burst of courage lifted from her stomach, and expelled from her lips. "You may be right about my behavior tonight, Severus. It was wrong of me to view your pensieves without your permission. But don't you dare accuse me of taking pleasure in your pain! It nearly killed me to watch your father beat you - I'm sure that spilt pitcher of milk wasn't the first time you were punished for something you didn't do."

Severus winced, as if she had struck him across the cheek with her hand. His face turned a dark shade of crimson, and his breathing became so heavy she could hear the air as it entered and escaped through his nostrils. Still, she continued. " I can't even begin to describe to you how difficult it was for me to witness you become the by-product of your parents' abuse, to watch how their neglect had led you to murder. When you killed that man in his study, I was so terrified -!"

Severus swung about, arm raised. Body quivering with rage, the tips of his ears burning a brilliant red, he shouted, "Enough!"

Claira's breath caught in her throat at the sight of his wand. Her pulse quickened, as fear quickly engulfed her thoughts. He looked possessed! She realized immediately she should not have spoken about the things she had seen; it would probably have been better if she had not spoken at all. Her eyes darted about the attic for a way to escape.

His eyes narrowed at her trembling form. "Yes, my past might well frighten you. And now you have no escape from it, or from me. So, there is little point in you looking at that trap door."

He flicked his wand and locked it.

"You don't really think I would let you leave here with all those secrets in your head, do you? Not even Dumbledore knows the things you have now seen."

The torchlights flickered, almost diminishing beneath the breeze from his cloak as he ascended on her, his wand aglow. His eyes were emotionless.

Claira's eyes widened, and she shivered. "Oh no! Severus, don't! Please forgive me. I only wanted to understand you - to know you better. I had to know if you felt anything for me at all."

His boots thudded loudly against the wood floor as he neared, his wand pointed at her left temple. Her eyes swept to the oak table; on it lay her wand, too far out of reach to be of any use to her now. Defenseless and cornered, Claira was at Severus's mercy. She began to sob as his shadow fell upon her, the black tip of his wand inches from her head.

"Please, don't do this…"

He stood over her, silent and expressionless.

Her tear-filled eyes met his. "Severus, please, I beg you."

Severus paused at the sound of her trembling voice. As he looked down upon her, he could see she was frightened. Good. The girl ought not to have meddled in his private affairs. He had no intentions of sharing such intimacies with her, or anyone. And to think, he had once thought her incapable of any wrongdoing! What a fool he had been, to trust a woman so. He would not allow it to happen again.

His fingers tightened around the handle of his wand.

And yet, as he continued to stare into her pleading eyes, the same eyes that had twice revealed to him a passion beyond definition, indeed the very same eyes that had lured him back to Hogwarts for a third night of reckless endeavor, his wand remained dormant in his hand. His eyes moved to her cowering form, now childlike and feeble in comparison to the marvel it was moments ago. Striped of all shame, she was begging him for her life.

A violent shudder passed through him.

It had been his intention to frighten her as punishment for her misdeed, before taking possession of his stolen memories. But it had not been his will to instill such fear in her that she felt her life was in danger. He would never, could never, hurt her. Not her. Despite his anger, despite the fact that a simple memory charm would have struck the night's events from her mind, he could not endure the guilt that would surely come of knowing that, in that moment, she thought him capable of committing murder.

Slowly, he lowered his wand.

His free hand rose to touch her, to reassure her, to calm her. He was shocked to note that his hand trembled just as she did on the floor beneath him. He fought to steady it.

He crouched down beside her. "Claira - it's all right. I was not going to harm you, only release you of those memories. I thought if I Obliviated you, it would rectify the situation. But I should not have raised my wand to you."

She cringed at his touch. When he removed his hand, she scrambled towards the trap door.

"I know what you must think of me," he muttered, casting his wand to unlock it. "I'm not proud of my past, if that is what you think. Nor do I blame you for wanting nothing further to do with me."

Claira fumbled with the latch, her body shaking.

He bowed his head. "But I must ask you, if you have any shred of compassion left for me, not to share what you have learned here tonight. It would ruin my standing both as the Potions master of this school, and as an accomplished alchemist. Oblige me that, and I will trouble you no more."

The girl had no idea that one word of it could destroy all he had set out to achieve. He would never have come as far as he had, if not for the fact that no one knew of the things he had done during his Death Eater years: Dumbledore had convinced the Ministry that he had acted under the influence of the Imperius Curse. The work he had put in, the years he had spent rebuilding his status amongst society, was now at threat. His reputation rested in Claira's very small, very fragile hands.

Claira had the trapdoor open, her escape just a few steps away. Her heart was pounding and her mind befuddled by the tidal wave of emotions Severus had wrought, both inside and outside the pensieve. She was frightened of him, of his short temper and irrational behavior. He was a dangerous man with a complex and dangerous past. It was unsafe for her to be near him any longer.

She stole one last glance at him before stepping down, but what she saw made her pause. Severus was on his knees, slouched over with his face buried in his hands. To see him in such an open, vulnerable position made her heart still.

In that moment, she no longer saw a menacing man, but that little boy in the pensieve: the one whose only comfort came from a dark shadow in the corner of a cold, empty manor house; a boy who was forsaken by the world; a boy who had never known love. How she had wanted to embrace him then, to hold him close to her breast and rock him to a calm. No child should ever have to live such a lonely existence, void of nurturing and compassion. No man either.

It was then that Claira began to understand. How could she have ever expected Severus to express feelings within himself that he never knew existed? What he needed was a lesson in love. What he needed was someone willing to teach him love.

The trapdoor snapped shut.

Severus closed his eyes. She had gone. It was too much to ask her to believe he had changed, that he regretted those many mistakes, which even now still haunted him. It pained him to realize that Claira was no different than the rest. She was nothing short of a silly girl whose head was full of romantic fantasies; a girl who chased after dreams instead of facing reality; a girl who should mean nothing to him. Yet…

His chest felt weak and hollow. She meant nothing to him! What they had shared was a brief passing of mutual attraction. Lust. He normally paid for his sexual gratification, and so he could count himself fortunate she had given herself to him free of charge. She had willingly undressed for him and they had consummated that desire. Now it was merely time to bid her good riddance.

"Severus."

Soft, tender hands slid into his, pulling them away from his face. He opened his eyes, and was both surprised and confused to see Claira staring back at him. She too was on her knees, an indescribable look in her eyes.

"I thought you had gone," he breathed, fighting back the urge to reach out and cup her face, which was now so near to his.

She smiled and touched his cheek with her hand, satisfying the need for contact. "No, I want to stay."

"How could you possibly?" he whispered, covering her hand with his. "After all that you have seen here tonight?"

Her gentle breath warmed his face, her eyes never straying from his. "I love you, Severus. There is nothing that could ever change how I feel about you. There is no magic more powerful than love."

He tore his eyes from hers. "I have done nothing to deserve your affections, or your forgiveness."

"I know in my heart that you are not the same man you once were. Because of your recent contributions to the Ministry's Defense Department, and by your tutoring of all those children, whose minds were just as susceptible to the Dark Arts as your mind once was, you have saved more lives than you ever could have taken. You have succeeded where most have failed. How could I not be but in awe of you?" Pressing her hand to his cheek again, she forced him to look at her, and whispered, "Let me be the judge of whether I think you deserve my love or not."

And then she kissed him, their lips reuniting an invisible bond that had formed between them. Severus groaned and pulled her into his lap, into his eager arms that were now just as willing to forgive.

When their mouths parted, Claira laid her weary head upon his shoulder and they melted into a warm, cozy embrace. There was no longer any need for words; somehow, he knew she would never betray his secrets, nor his trust again. Severus closed his eyes at the soothing motion of their gently swaying bodies, feeling a tranquility and peace unlike anything he had ever experienced. He, too, was exhausted by the whole ordeal, and was left with little strength to contest spending the remainder of the night at Hogwarts, in her arms.

Silence reigned in the attic. After a time, Severus felt her body relax into an unmistakable state of slumber. He leaned back against a wooden pillar, an act that helped to support their weight, and released a deep sigh characteristic of one pondering over a complex, alchemic equation. Claira's conscious confession of love had caused a most curious disturbance in his chest and stomach, not wholly unpleasant, and he could not help but wonder if perhaps there was something more to be said about this so-called 'love-magic' of hers.

By allowing the girl to love him, and by allowing himself to experience this particular strand of magic she called love, he would achieve a broader spectrum of knowledge. He reasoned he could possibly benefit from this experience. Of course, he would have to convince her that his feelings were the same as hers. However, judging by the way she lay so trusting in his arms, her devotion practically leaping from her breast, he did not think that would be difficult to achieve.

But then there was another obstacle that stood before him: time. He only had two months before he was to be awarded the Order of Merlin. After that, if he had any hopes of procuring a position at the Ministry, he could not be seen gallivanting with a Muggleborn. So, he had to extract as much as he could from the girl within the allotted time.

Again, that did not present itself as a difficult feat, not for Severus Snape.

His decision was made.

As the night progressed into morning, Severus roused Claira and suggested they move to the comfort of his bed. He then helped her through the trapdoor, down the staircase, and onto one of his large feather pillows. She murmured a 'thank you' as he removed her shoes and tugged the blankets over her sleepy form.

She slipped back into sleep.

He administered a soft kiss to her lips before turning to leave. He would not be staying, although he was in dire need of rest and wanted very much to lie down beside her, to feel her warm, nude body pressed against his bare skin. But no, it was nearly five-thirty; he had to return to Snape Manor before his mother discovered he had left for a third night.

Severus scowled as he resealed the wards on his attic. It was not as if the haggard woman even wanted him there in the first place: the feeling was likewise. What she wanted was to exploit the holiday as a family affair, so as to disillusion local busybodies and inquiring minds from the idea that the Snapes were anything less than perfect. His attendance every Christmas, no matter how grueling or torturous it was, secured his inheritance: a vast fortune that he rightfully deserved and had no intentions of losing.

Of course, that meant having to endure all his mother's wicked little games.

And so he found himself, once again, treading a path through the snowy grounds of Hogwarts, his cloak blistered with ice. However, underneath his robes, inside the very cavity of his chest, was a burning desire to return to the castle as quickly as possible. Just one more night, he told himself, and he would be back to claim the tiny treasure buried beneath the tousled sheets of his bed.

To be continued….

Comments

Elaine Lahey: I am a little burnt out. But I hope to obtain some sort of balance between work and my personal projects. I have strayed from writing for too long, it's becoming difficult to get back into it. I need a vacation, or at least some time to myself. Thank you for reading.

Queen of the Sacred Flames: Thank you. I was concerned it might be too dark, and yet I did not stretch it as far as I had planned. It was difficult to paint such a horrific picture of Snape and, at the same time, keep him attractive. If you still love him, then I have accomplished my goal. I hope this new post adds some closure to the previous cliffhanger.

Jonquillejaune: to answer your questions, yes, that was the same green armchair. And, no, that was not Narcissa pleasuring Lucius; however, he was married at the time. The girl was a muggle under the Imperius Curse: a toy, if you will.

Actually, I have begun an original piece. But, like everything, it has been put on hold. I think I may have too many projects going and not enough time to get them done. I would love to make a career out of writing but reality keeps getting in the way, you know? It might happen one day. A girl can dream!

Shadow of Jyuunishi: Wow! Thank you. I work hard to get the emotions just right. Relationships are about feelings, not just events written on paper. I can't imagine a love affair with Severus Snape being anything less than difficult and heart breaking. He has too many issues to overcome before he can fully open himself up to another person. Claira is slowly chiseling away his walls, but it is still going to take a great deal of effort to ever break completely through. It will take a miracle… or a tragedy.

Greyfalcon: Yes, it is all about ups and downs. Thank you for reading.

Animagious-White-Tiger: If you read the books, you will see that James was a very arrogant and mischievous teenager. He was a bully. We find that out in book 5. So, I would think my depiction is pretty accurate to cannon. If you get the chance, you should really read the books, they are fantastic, and very different to the films - well, not completely, but the films leave out so much information, events and back story. Thank you for taking the time to review.

Oh, and Remus muttered private words in regard to his disbelief about James's claim, knowing that Lily would never act in such a lewd manner. Basically, James was lying to boast his ego and get at Snape.

Mark Darcy: Thank you for understanding. The problem I had, as a beginner, was my inability to explain things properly, and also neglecting to explain things that I understood but didn't realize the reader wouldn't. Hopefully I have corrected that aspect of my writing. I give tons of credit to my beta, Run Wild.

DreamMakerLady: You are right on with the plot and general flow of the story. I think we all agree that there is hidden potential there. That is the lure of Snape. He just needs a good, patient woman to bring it out. Thank you for reading. And sorry the posts take so long.

Satish Goel: This website has a rating system. It is the responsibility of the parent, not the writer, to monitor their child's activities. This story is properly rated and posted in the correct category. This story is not intended for children: I have posted warnings at the beginning of each chapter that contains adult content. I hope parents are being responsible with what they allow their children to read.

Jade Shintz: I had planned to post a conclusion much sooner. But it just didn't happen. And now I am so overwhelmed with work, I don't know when I will find the time to write again. I am much aggrieved by this, but in life you got to do what is beneficial for your family. I hope to get back to writing soon. I have already begun the second part to this chapter, so hopefully it won't take me ages to finish. Thanks for reading.

FireValkyrie: It is nice owning my own home, but there is so much more involved with paperwork and filing and permits - it's madness! I am glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope this put your mind to rest. I hated leaving an open cliffhanger like that and not knowing when the next post will come. I do apologize for the wait and the shortness of this new chapter. If I could write fulltime and work partime, life would be sweet.

Carole: Thank you for sticking up for me. Don't worry; another lemon chapter is coming soon. Actually, the next chapter is entirely dedicated to, dare I say, sex and fulfillment. Of course, it will be short lived. But it is essential to the plot, and their relationship. Stay tuned!

Run Wild: I just love you! We have talked already. Thank you for reviewing.

Sammy-b: Thank you! Keep reading.

Sportzjunkie: Beautifully said! I am, as always, amazed at your deep understanding of Snape's character. Sorry about the wait. Life is a mess right now. But once I get it back in order, I will dedicate my time to finishing this story. I can't believe you have stuck with me for so long. I hope you are still here at the story's end. Thank you.

Anita: Thanks for reading and reviewing. It means a lot.

TessaCilory: Thank you!

DogDemon-4-life: I don't deserve such praise, but thank you nonetheless. The more reviews the merrier.

Platinumphoenix58: I deserved that. Sorry it took so long.

Anonymous: Don't worry; you will know how the story ends one way or another. However, I plan to finish it completely one of these days. I cannot guarantee when, though. Thank you for the kinds words.

Tmir: LOL. I really am not neglecting this story on purpose. I promise.

Generation Vexed: Thank you!

Stepmom97: Thank you for coming to my aid with that degrading review. They always sting a little, but thanks to comments like yours I am able to pull out of it with my head held high. I am truly sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoyed this piece, even though it is short. I figured you would rather have something than nothing at all. Thank you for reading and leaving feedback.

Queen Beth: I was worried readers would abandon my story after HBP. But I am pleasantly surprised to find that my readers are still just as eager to continue reading as I am to write. More and more evidence is coming out about Snape's actions being more heroic than sinful. I have a theory, but cannot share it here. But there are some great forums out there that support Snape during these troubled times. I hope he pulls out of it in one piece. Thanks for reviewing.

A special thanks to everyone for taking the time to leave feedback!