A/N: Thanks to everyone reading! Extra sugary sprinkles to everyone reviewing and a big hug each to those who have put this story on alert… there're 200 of you… wow! Here's a quicker update for you. Hope you like!

Coming Back Home

Chapter thirty-six – First comes love…

November 2015

Emily shook her head attempting to shake the vivid memory back into the little box in the very back of her mind it obviously had escaped from. To let it join the other memories she had of the moments over the past years when her resolve had faltered and all she had wanted to do was to run back to Hotch. She knew she could get lost in those memories, examining them from every angle possible, trying to figure out why she did what she did. But at the moment she couldn't let herself get lost in the past, the present was too pressing.

Glancing over her shoulder, she gave Grace the warmest smile she could manage in her slightly flustered state. "Gracie, sweetie," she said, "we've talked about this, remember? We have our own house where we live, just like Daddy and Jack have theirs."

Grace nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, but Mommy we could live with Daddy and Jack in their house. We could do that!"

"Well, Gracie," Emily said, pulling up outside Hotch's apartment complex, watching the awning flutter in the wind. "It isn't quite that easy you see," she said, turning in her seat and reaching out to rub Grace's knee. "Your Dad and I are just friends and usually when mommies and daddies live together in the same house they are married. Daddy and I aren't married."

"Okay," Grace said slowly, seemingly content with that answer. At least for the time being.

"Alright," Emily smiled, relieved that Grace hadn't pushed the subject further, but still well aware that it could easily pop up again. "Okay, sweetie, grab your backpack and teddy bear and I will help you out of your chair."

Hotch answered after the first knock, there was little doubt in her mind that he hadn't been waiting by the door eager to see his little girl. Emily had seen him many Sundays over the last few months but she still couldn't escape the way her body reacted to seeing him in his casual weekend clothes. His faded jeans only emphasized what she knew were a pair of very muscular thighs and the dark blue polo made him look laid back, relaxed and younger than his 49 years. The warmth spreading through her veins was impossible to ignore.

He gave her a brief smile, one that only made the awkwardness filling the air more prominent. She smiled back, releasing Grace's hand to let her bounce into the apartment, after a quick smile at her father, in search of her older brother.

Emily caught Hotch's eye. "Could I talk to you real quick?" she said.

"Of course," he said, closing the front door a bit behind him to give them some privacy.

"Uh… I think you should know that Grace brought up the "why don't we live together with Daddy" issue on the drive over. She seemed okay with my answer but she might ask you too. Just so that you are prepared that that question might come up during the day."

"Oh…" Hotch looked stunned for a short second before recollecting his wits and resuming the neutral countenance he usually favored. "Thank you for letting me know," he said, "uh, can I ask, what did you tell her?"

"Well," Emily said, shifting some of her weight between her feet, "I explained to her that usually it's only moms and dads that are married that live together and that you and I… well, we're just friends and that's why we have our own separate homes."

Hotch nodded. Even though he knew that saying anything else to Grace would just confuse her and possibly hurt her in the long run a knot still twisted his stomach as Emily referred to them as being just friends. He knew that that's what they had decided they were for now. They had agreed on the fact that there was something more between them; something that hadn't gone away during the time they had spent apart. But that was several weeks ago and instead of them taking steps forward towards being more than friends they had both stumbled further away from each other. Maybe Emily had decided that friends were all that they could ever be.

He sighed, pushing away the uninvited thoughts clouding his brain. "Okay, thanks," he said, giving Emily a short smile, "If she asks again I will make sure to tell her the same thing. Now, when did you say you'd come pick her up?" A change of subject was probably best, he decided.

"I'll be back around six, if that's okay with you," Emily said, beginning to walk away, "so you'll have time for dinner."

"See you then," Hotch said, allowing his gaze to follow her as she walked down the long corridor and back outside into the early winter sun. Stifling another sigh, he took a few seconds to collect himself before stepping back into the apartment.

He could hear Gracie's infectious laughter, bouncing off the walls, and he smiled to himself. Thoughts of his and Emily's relationship, any problem that he might be having, were always easier to push to the side when heard that sound. Following her voice, it led him to Jack's bedroom. "Gracie," he said, as he peeked around the open door, "don't bug your brother too much."

Grace looked up at him, from where she was sitting dangling her feet at the foot of Jack's bed. Jack glanced up too, from the book he had been reading, and gave his father an appreciative smile. "I kinda have to read this by Monday," he said, holding up the book.

"Alright," Hotch said, "come on Gracie, let's go play in the living room and leave Jack to do his homework."

"Okay," Grace said and jumped off Jack's bed, her teddy bear still clutched in one hand, "can we play that you're a troll and I am a princess?" She walked behind him, taking small skips to keep up with his long strides. "Or you can be my pet tiger!"

"We'll play whatever you want, sweetie," Hotch said, looking down at the top of her dark head and smiling.

Hotch couldn't avoid thinking about what Rossi would say if he could see him now. The friendly mockery would never end and Hotch would be constantly reminded of what he'd looked like on all fours on his living room floor, acting out the role of a pet tiger. He shook his head, the corners of his mouth tilting briefly at the thought.

"Daddy?" Grace said rather abruptly, prompting Hotch to leave his own head and look up at her.

"Yeah, sweetie?" Hotch said, sitting up.

"You know, Mommy said that only daddies and mommies that are married live together in the same house," Grace told him matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Hotch said, trying to sound casual and cheerful, wanting Grace to feel as comfortable as he possibly could, "that's usually the way it works."

Grace sat down on the couch, scrunching her thin eyebrows together, and squinted quizzically at Hotch who got up from the floor realizing that this conversation had only started. Taking a seat next to Grace he gave her a smile and ran a hand over her hair. "Did you have more questions, sweetheart?"

Grace's face lit up in a smile. "If you and Mommy get married, then we could come and live with you and Jack all the time," she said, grinning at her simple solution to the problem.

Hotch smiled, he couldn't help but do anything else at the way Grace's innocent mind worked. "It's not that simple, sweetie," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Why?"

"Well, you see," he said, "When two people decide to get married they do that because they are very much in love with each other. "

"Are you and Mommy in love?" Grace twisted, folding her legs under her, looking a Hotch with big curious eyes.

"Mommy told you that she and I are friends, right?" Grace nodded, her eyes following him with rapt attention. "Well, your Mommy and I, we are friends. We are very good friends actually and we do love each other, but not in that special way that you do when you get married." He felt a stab of guilt as he saw the tinge of disappointment in Grace's eyes. But he pushed it away, he couldn't make any promises he didn't know if he could keep, no matter how much he wanted to. "But you know what?" he said, trying to keep his voice as cheery and light as possible.

"What?"

"Both Mommy and I love you thi-is much," he said, spreading his arms as wide as they would go and enveloping Grace in a big hug. "Hey," he said, giving Grace's shoulders a squeeze, "want to help me make lunch? I think we should have chocolate chip pancakes today. What do you think?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes are my favorite!"

"I know," Hotch laughed, lifting her off the couch, "now come on Little."

A couple of hours later Hotch was tidying up the kitchen, having left Grace playing quietly with her dolls in the living room. Jack was back in his room finishing reading his book. As he was starting to empty the dishwasher soft steps sounded behind him followed by a tiny whimper. He snapped around. "Grace, what's the matter, sweetie?" he said, kneeling next to her.

"My tummy hurts," she cried, clinging to his neck, "I want my mommy!"

A/N: Thanks for reading! You know one of the 'fun' things about writing this story is getting to figure out how to explain things so that a 4yo would understand them, that has proved to be quite interesting…

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x Sussi