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Chapter 36

TRIS

Christina offered to drive me to school today, since it is my first day back from the trail. I didn't get home till late last night, and because I have already missed so much school, I am ignoring my exhaustion and toughing it out and going to school. The radio in the car is high, and Christina randomly bursts out into song every time the chorus comes.

I don't mind the singing, in fact I join in every few times. But Christina singing means she isn't talking or asking me questions. I know she wants to talk, and I should tell her what happened up there in person.

A commercial comes on and Christina turns the volume down. "So, on a scale of one to ten, how tired are you."

"Eleven."

She laughs, "I thought so. Why are you coming today?"

"I've missed enough school already. I'm back home, might as well go."

"If it were me, I would skip."

"You would change your mind if you saw the amount of make-up work I am going to have."

"I get it," She says. We reach a red light and she turns to look at me.

"What?"

"... I missed you, that's all."

"I missed you, too."

"I never really got a chance you congratulate you on winning the case. Or at least, as close as you can get to a win."

I nod my head. "It was win. And thank you."

"It couldn't have been easy. I was watching every second of it. Every article, news special, interview... I know you don't like talking about it, and I respect that. But I know what happened and what you went through. We don't have to talk, but if you need to ever get something off your chest, or anything, I'm here."

"Thanks. It wasn't easy, going back and facing it all. But it's over. I'm ready to move on from everything that has happened and look ahead. To be honest, I don't think it has fully sunk in yet, what's happened. P-Peter got what he deserved, and he will not hurt anyone ever again."

We make a turn and I see the roof of the school. There is so much more to say. Everything with my dad and brother. And Rose. And the hit-and-run. And the internship. I should, I need tell her about the internship. I don't want to keep things from my friends anymore.

"Uhh, there's one more thing," I take a deep breath. "I was offered a summer internship... in New York."

"What?!"

"It's like a six week program and I'll go to New York and work for a friend of my mother."

"And you've accepted it? Without talking to me?!"

"I haven't made any decisions yet." I say as Christina pulls into the school parking lot. She parks in her assigned spot, and she runs my side of the car to help me out. I still need the stupid crutches when I walk. I squirm out of my seat with the help of Christina pulling me up. She helps me slip my bag on my back and we walk into the building.

People give us different looks as we walk through the halls. No one actually says anything, but that would be better than their eyes scanning me. We turn the corner and walk down the hallway with my locker on the end. As I get closer, I see there is something there. And the closer I get to my locker, the clearer it gets.

On my locker is a sign that reads Stay Strong and all over are notes and pictures from my friends. Someone walks up beside me and when I turn my head, Tobias is standing next to me.

"Did you do this?" I ask.

"With some help," he says as all our friends come up next to us.

"Way to take all the credit," Shauna says. "Without Mar and I, it would have been a train wreck."

We all laugh. "Thank you so much. I love it."

Everyone comes up and gently give me hugs. It is awkward with my crutches, and most of them are weary of my bruises.

"So, how are you feeling? You know, besides the obvious you lost to a car in a fight." Uriah says and Marlene hits him in the arm.

"Are you crazy? Somebody tried to kill her and you're joking about it," Marlene says.

"It... It's okay. And it was a car, not a bus," I say. "I'm feeling better. The bruises were worse, believe me."

The warning bell rings.

Shauna says, "Well, we are all relieved to know you are okay. And let the record state that Tris gets a free swing at Uriah."

"What did I do?"

"You're a nimrod, and you need your senses knocked into you. And Tris should have the honors."

"Aww," Uriah whines.

"Don't worry, I have no intention of hitting you—at the moment," I say, looking at my watch. "We all better leave or we'll be late to class."

Everyone scatters while Tobias and I stay at my locker. He helps me change my books between my bag and my locker, and Tobias walks me to class. We are almost to my first bell, French, when we hear a shout from the other side of the hall.

"Eaton!" The football coach yells. We both turn and see the coach with another person in a red shirt.

"I'll be right there," Tobias says.

"What's that?" I ask.

"College recruiters."

"Wow. Well, good luck."

He kisses my cheek. "I'll see you after second period."

I walk in the house and immediately see the large envelope with a New York address on the counter. It lays at the bottom of a stack of mail that came today. Tori must have been the one who go the mail today. I walk by it, ignoring its presence, and walk to my room. Plastered on my door is a note from Tori.

Went to work... Won't be home till late. Make sure you go through your mail! Love you!

I know what is in the envelope, I just don't want to read the fine print. And I don't want to make a decision. Making a decision means making a choice. Deciding on one choice turns something that was up in the air into something concrete. And to me, when you make a choice, you can't go back. One simple decision, one daunting choice seems so frightening.

I don't know what to do.

So instead of facing my choices, I change into sweat pants, grab my book bag, and go to work on my homework in the study. Homework usually doesn't take long to get done, but with all the school I missed, I have a lot of make-up work to finish.

I don't notice the time passing or the sun hiding beneath the horizon as I work. The only indicator for me is when Tori's hand starts scratching my back.

"Hey," I say putting my pencil down.

Tori leans down close to my papers. "Physics, huh?"

I let out a sigh. Right now we are learning harmonics and sounds and it's hard for it to click in my mind. "It's a pain in the butt right now."

"How long have you been working up here?"

"Since I got home after school."

"And I'm guessing from the clean kitchen to the neatly stacked pile of mail that you haven't left this chair."

"I didn't notice it," I lie.

"You can't lie to me Tris, and you're not very good at it."

"Fine, I saw the mail."

"And..." she presses, "Tris, you can't push this away and ignore it."

I rub my face with my hands. "Tori, what am I going to do? What should I do?"

"Is this internship something you really want?"

I don't know. I try to weigh the options out. It is in New York, away from all my friends and with my brother and father. But they may be out of town during that time doing who knows what. Would I want them gone? What if taking this internship will allow me to be with them and try to fix our family? I can't help but feel that is what my mother would have wanted.

And my mom. Ever since the coma, more and more questions arise. I want to be closer to her, and doing something she did is one way of growing closer to her memory. I do not know if my questions will be answered, but there is a chance I might find some kind of closure.

"I want… I don't know what I want. I say I want to fix things with my family, but then again I never want to see them again. I want to spend the time with my friends, but then I want to be as close to my mom as I can."

"Which one is stronger? Which one do you think will make you happy?"

Happy, such an interesting word. At times it can be a close friend, and other times it is the knife in my back telling me I shouldn't have put my guard down.

I get up and hobble to the kitchen. I grab the letter and open it up to read. I don't want to say I have made a decision, but the letter isn't in the garbage. It's in my hands.

Author's Note

My school ball season has started, and as you can probably tell, it is sucking up all of my time. Do not think I am just giving up on this story, I have more stuff planned and I love writing it and sharing it with all of you. And I want to thank all the people who left such wonderful comments. Some of them really got to me. I really didn't know how much this story means to some people.

So the Divergent movie... I am a big preacher of keep an open mind or you won't enjoy the movie. And immediately after it ended, I was unhappy. But that was because I was too busy comparing everything to the book. After a few days, I realized it really was a good movie, just not a good adaption. The script could have been stronger, but the actors were absolutely amazing! My only true criticism is at the end when Tris and Four are fighting and she points the gun to herself and tells Four she loves him. No! She is not allowed to say that yet! That is a HUGE part of Insurgent. But other than that... Amazing! And I can't stop listening to the soundtrack! (One of the songs in my Walk-Up song). What was your favorite part? (Mine would probably be either knives or Ferris wheel.) Please review!

Be brave, everyone!

QUOTES

1). He kept the truth on the inside and with no sunlight, and for a while a shadow was winning... He had fallen for the fear, done some disappearing. I wanted him to stop running and stop holding his tongue. –Brave, Sara Bareilles, song

Congratulations to: Divergent04 and dauntlesspanem guessed correctly!

There are no quotes in this chapter! :(