Chapter 37 - Healing
Newkirk took Manfred's advice and tried to simply rest. He dozed off several times but kept awaking after only a few minutes. He had dozed off again when the aroma of something delicious brought him back to consciousness. He sniffed the air for a moment, then reached out to put on his shaded spectacles. They weren't on the nightstand where he thought he'd left them. He kept his eyes closed since he didn't particularly feel like throwing up again, not that there was anything left in his stomach to throw up. He was hungry though and wondered just what that smell was.
He startled as he felt someone gently place the specs on his face. He grasped the temples and pulled them onto his ears, then slowly opened his eyes to find Katrin gazing at him affectionately.
"Mama!" He'd thought he'd never use that word again and it felt wonderful.
"Peter, my son. It is so good to see you again." She leaned in and kissed him. He reciprocated the gesture. "How are you feeling? Are you hungry? I brought your favorite soup. Your uncle, forgive me, Manfred told me you would most likely be hungry."
So that's what that tantalizing aroma was! He nodded eagerly. "Yes ma'am. Very hungry if you don't mind."
"Here, let me help you sit up." Katrin fluffed and arranged the pillows as a backrest. He leaned forward, then let her settle him against them. Newkirk watched her gratefully, amazed that she chose to still treat him as a son.
"Danke mama." He took her hand and kissed it tenderly. She reached over to gently caress his face.
"You are welcome my son." She turned and unwrapped a large bowl of hot soup. She brought a tray from the nightstand, placed it on his lap and handed him the bowl along with a spoon. "Can you manage?"
He smiled. "Yes ma'am. I believe I can." He nearly inhaled the soup, surprising himself with his level of hunger. Katrin sat and contentedly watched him as he ate.
Newkirk finally pushed the empty bowl aside. "Thank you mama. You make the most wonderful soup."
"Danke my son. It was my Petzi's..." her voice faltered a moment. She took a deep breath and continued. "...my Petzi's favorite." She took the tray from his lap, placed it on the nightstand and sat back down.
He reached over and took both her hands in his own. "Please tell me about Petzi."
"Why...?" She was startled to hear this request from an Englander.
"Because you loved him. Because you loved him enough to extend that love to me."
Katrin dipped her head briefly and then raised it to meet his curious eyes. She nodded slowly and began to tell Newkirk her Petzi's life story. The circumstances of his birth, why he never knew his father, why she named him Peter, his rambunctious, mischievous adventures as a child, his love for his family and his country, how her heart broke when he was inducted into the Heer, and how she spiraled into depression when he was reported lost at Stalingrad.
"I have cried so many tears, dear Peter. I do not know how I am still able to cry at all." Katrin tried to hold her emotions close but a few tears escaped to trail down her cheeks.
Newkirk still held her hands in his, and he gently squeezed them. "I am so very sorry you lost him. I truly am. He sounds like someone who could have been a good friend to me under different circumstances."
"Ja. He would have liked you Peter. I know he would have. My Petzi was a very good judge of character."
Newkirk dropped his head and mumbled, "Thank you mama."
Katrin cocked her head to the side and extracted her hands from his. She reached over to lift his head with a gentle hand under his chin. "Please tell me about your mama."
He had never told anyone, save Carter, about his mother and his home life. He looked up into Katrin's eyes, took a deep breath and decided to plunge on. "My mum was a beautiful woman. You look so much like her. When I first saw you, it took my breath away." Katrin blushed and turned her head to the side with an amused smile. "No ma'am, really! You look exactly like what I imagine my mum would now, had she lived. Like I was saying, she was beautiful. She was a dancer before she met my dad." His expression hardened at the mention of his father and Katrin looked at him curiously.
"What is wrong Peter?"
He shook himself out of his reverie and smiled sadly at her. "Nothing. Nothing. Mum and dad married very young. Mum was barely eighteen and dad was barely nineteen. I was born right about the usual time, ten months or so afterwards, then dad left for the war. I was still an infant when he left, so I don't remember much about him other than him always telling me how stupid and useless I was. Oh yes, and the beatings as well."
"Beatings? Oh Peter! I am so sorry!" Katrin was shocked. She reached out and cupped her hand around the back of his head. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking great comfort from her compassionate touch.
"Thank you mama. You don't know how much that means." He sighed and continued on. "Anyway, I suppose the less said about him, the better. Mum always tried to protect me and my sister as much as she could but she had to work really hard to support us. My dad was a bit remiss in his responsibilities towards us, as he spent most of his time drunk."
Katrin tried to steer his thoughts away from his father. "You have a sister as well?"
"Oh yes. A younger sister. Her name is Mavis."
"So you have a sister just like Petzi. Except Astrid is the older one. Petzi was my baby."
"Mavis was the baby of our family, if you could even call us a family. I know Mum loved us dearly. She did the best she could under the circumstances."
"I believe she did quite well. You are a good boy Peter."
Newkirk closed his eyes again and sighed heavily. Oh if she only knew what I was before I joined Colonel Hogan's team!
Katrin seemed to divine his thoughts. She still had her hand on the back of his head and she turned him to face her. "It is the person you are now that counts my son. My dear husband always said, 'no matter how long you have been on the wrong road, turn back'. It is the turning back that is important."
He shakily exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Thank you mama! Thank you! He reached out and put his palm against Katrin's cheek. "I don't know how to express to you how grateful I am. You've saved my life in more ways than you'll ever know. Thank you."
She took his hand from her face and kissed it. "You have done me an honor as well dear Peter. You have filled a void in my heart that I thought would always be empty."
And you've filled a void in my heart that's been gaping empty for fifteen years. How can I ever thank you?
They both looked over as the door opened and Manfred walked in.
"Hello doc!" Newkirk called out.
"I am sorry to interrupt, Peter, Katrin." He nodded to each of them. "I came to check on Peter. How are you feeling? Any headache? Nausea?"
"No sir, thank goodness. I think mama's delicious soup will stay right where it belongs."
Manfred chuckled, then his expression became serious. "I also came to tell you both that I contacted Oberst Klink about you, Peter. I spoke to Major Hoganmueller as well and he is in agreement."
Newkirk perked up at his last statement. "What's goin' on doc?"
"You will be returning to the Luft Stalag tomorrow my boy. I must insist however, that you spend at least the first week in the infirmary under Sergeant Wilson's care."
"Oh!" Katrin exclaimed softly. She impulsively squeezed Newkirk's hand and he glanced over at her with a rueful smile. He was glad to be going back to be with his mates, but it proved quite the two-edged sword. He knew he would miss Katrin dreadfully. He swallowed hard and tried to keep calm as he spoke to her.
"Mama, please look at me." She slowly lifted her head, trying to keep her emotions under control. "We both knew this day would come, did we not?"
Katrin nodded briefly, unable to trust herself to speak.
"I do not want to leave you mama. Please believe me. I really do not want to. But I must. I am a prisoner of war, under orders to my commanding officer, as well as Kommandant Klink. I am truly sorry."
"I know my son," she whispered. She leaned over to him and he wrapped his arms around her. As difficult as it was, he kept his emotions reined in for Katrin's sake.
"I will never, ever, ever forget you mama! I will write you as often as I can. Please write me back?"
"I will my dear Peter. I will."
Manfred stepped over and put his hand on Newkirk's shoulder. "I will leave you two to visit for as long as you desire, ja?"
"Thanks doc. Thanks for everything!" He released Katrin as Manfred nodded and left, then turned to look at her as she put her hands over her mouth and unsuccessfully tried to hold in her sobs.
"Oh mama, please don't! Please!" Newkirk reached out for her again.
"I...am...sorry my dear Peter. I...cannot...help myself."
"Mama, it breaks my heart to see you weep." He shifted over in the bed, making space. "Please come here mama." He helped her onto the bed to lie next to him, on top of the blanket. He took her in his arms and held her, trying to soothe her. "I will write you, I promise. I will even get permission to come see you. Would you like that?" He thought it best to leave the details of just who he would get permission from nebulous for right now.
She nodded slightly, still sobbing. The stark sadness etched on her face made his heart ache. He gently lifted her head until her eyes were level with his. "Mama. Please listen to me. I will always love you. Always. You will always be a part of my life no matter where I am." He gently stroked her hair. "Shhh mama. Please do not weep." He let a few minutes pass, then smiled at her. "Now let's dry those tears, ja?"
She tried to compose herself, for his sake. She believed his words, as she felt the same sentiments herself. She would never forget this young Englander and the comfort he brought to her when she needed it the most. She nestled her head on his shoulder, just for a moment.
When Manfred came in to check on them several hours later, he found them both asleep. Katrin lay curled up next to Peter, her arms wrapped securely around him.