Chapter 37 – Joe

'You... mean it?' Ella whispered. She lay in her bed, the bed we shared last night, tucked under the duvets. After her bad dream, I tried to wake her up to calm her down, but the second she was aware of what was happening she just jumped up and ran to the window. Slowly I walked over to coax her calm again. I told her I had seen everything – the crash she was in when she was little I saw like she saw it. Her attempted suicide and her talking to Michael when she was a teenager and then the plane crash. I saw it all. It brought me to the edge of tears. When I told her I saw everything she completely panicked and ran back into the bed, under the sheet. I told her I cared, but it didn't change the way I saw her. Well, that was a lie. I didn't know she had that much strength in her. She attempted suicide but eventually pushed back into existence and thankfully into my life.

Currently he was lying in the bed, duvet pulled down slightly. I was sitting down on the side my hand over her stomach. I nodded; surprised that she would even question that. I guess she kept her past to herself; much like Savant's had to keep their gifts to themselves. I guess that she had to hide it because it made people change their opinion on her. Not me, though. I still liked her so much that it hurt to see her upset.

She flung herself at me, her arms wrapping tight around my neck as I put my arms around her tiny waist, hugging her tightly. She started to cry again, her head buried in my shoulders. I could feel the damp of her tears as she struggled to breathe.

'Ella, it's okay.' I mumbled and she just shook her head in my shoulder. 'No, Ella, it will be fine. I promise you, we'll work something out.' I said, pulling her to sit on my lap hugging her tight. It took another ten or so minutes of me gently coaxing Ella to try and calm down before she finally stopped sobbing.

She sat on my lap, arms still around my neck head draped on my shoulder. I had one arm around her waist, the other on her upper thigh.

'Sorry,' She whispered.

'Don't apologise for having feelings, hun.' I told her, gently touching her face as she smiled slightly

'You really don't care?' She asked me.

'No, Ella, I do are. That's the thing – of course I care. I care for you and I care about you. I just desperately want to know you're okay and you'll always be okay. Of course I care about your past, the crash and your...' I couldn't say it. I couldn't. I couldn't imagine the pain and the mental torture she must have been under for her to do something like that. She flinched when I mentioned the crash and again knowing I would mention her attempted suicide. 'I see what you mean about the plane – you recognised the man, didn't you?'

'Yeah,'

'How?'

'When I was on holiday down here with the girls, I went to this tiny isolated island. He was there, with someone else. They were carrying all kinds of crap in bags. I think I mentioned them yesterday?' She mumbled.

'I think so,'

'If it is we're in shit.'

'Why?'

'That island you can see from the beach? That's the island.' Ella said and I swore under my breath. 'I'll go check it out now,' She offered.

'Hell no you're not. Not when you're like this – cold and tired. It can wait.' I said and she went to protest. I cut off her sentence with a gentle kiss. 'No – I'm not letting you hurt yourself... alright?'

'Mmm... maybe.' She just grinned.

'No, You're not projecting there until tonight, at the best.' I told her and she rolled her eyes.

'What time is it?'

'Half one in the afternoon - you've been asleep for ages.' I explained and she shook her head.

'That's not right, I have insomnia Joe.'

'Ella, hun, I swear to you. You fell asleep about half ten, and you've only just woke up. You were fast asleep.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah, maybe you're getting better. Come on, let's get you some food.' I said, and I straight up picked Ella up. She laughed, protesting slightly as I carried her in my arms to the kitchen. I was always amazed by how light she was even when she was protesting. I kicked open the door to the kitchen, before making her sit on the kitchen counter. She was still in just my long shirts still. I grabbed the sofa throw quickly from one of the primark bags before putting it around her shoulders.

'So what's our game plan?' I asked Ella, standing in front of her, my hands around her waist.

'Depends for what.'

'Either or the bomb, or us.' I ran my hand over Ella's leg.

'Er, bomb – we have to do something about that, we can't just let it happen. And us? We have to do something about that too.' She looked away as she smirked. I smiled at her.

'And what exactly would we do about us, then?'

'I'm thinking stay together is a good idea... if you want too, that is. I don't mind...'

'That's sounds like a very good idea,' I smiled down at her, resting my forehead against hers, grinning down at her.

7:28pm

We both lay down on the beach, completely relaxed in each other's company as the sun started to set. Ella had managed to drag me into the ocean and tried to teach me to swim, laughing as I tried to swim but was just kicking water around. Instead, I just stood just in my depth, so my feet were planted on the sea floor with my head just sticking out as Ella had to swim to keep up with me. Well, it wasn't my fault she was so small. However, she mastered I was terrified of something happening to her and kept going under the water holding her breath as I started to panic that she had drowned she came up behind me hugging me. In the end, we ended up just hugging in the ocean as the sun started to set, her legs wrapped around my waist, her arms wrapped around my neck. We just stood there (well – I stood there. She remained like an octopus stuck to me) talking about everything. I had learnt so much more about Ella in the last few days and had even seen the incredibly sensitive secretive side she held to herself even though it was by mistake. Neither of us could work out exactly what had happened the night previous, but it ended up with me exactly seeing what she had seen from her point of view. It had killed a tiny part of me watching how much pain she had gone through within the last couple of years. But as we stood in the ocean, her starting to shake slightly, we talked out our families and who we like and who we're not fans of. I told her about Randy, my alcoholic brother who's very misogynistic and treats woman like shit and she told me about her brother who pushes her too far to get results in the FBI, but she doesn't overly mind because it helps protect innocent people. However, neither of us really talked about what we would do when this is all over because, truth be told, we didn't know. It was tricky – she had family she was dedicated too in Colorado, and I had family over here. Knowing that when this was over we had to make a decision of what to do when all of this was over made things a lot harder. Would we stay together and decide to get our own flat or house and work through everything or would we just drifted apart. I knew that I didn't want to leave her after all this had happened but she told me that she already had her ticket for her flight back to Colorado that they could just roll the dates back on. I knew I would fight to keep her with me.

'God, you accused me of overthinking,' Ella joked, laying down on the beach mat. She had her arms under her head in just a bikini, and it revealed the multitude of scars across her ribcage and stomach. She was skinny, though, and I frowned. She looked over, noticed that I was looking and sat up to put a jumper on. 'I don't like people judging my scars,' she just mumbled.

'No, I wasn't judging.' I said, sitting up managing to stop her by pulling her to my side. 'How did you get all of them?'

'Various missions, quite often people fight back and if you're quick enough you can dodge the knife but not all the time. Most of these were from different people, or me walking into things.' She explained, 'and I'm only skinny because I don't really sleep – well, that was until what ever happened this morning. I don't really eat as well unless someone forces me too.'

'Er, what do you mean by you don't eat?'

'Especially recentless I just feel constantly sick or full, especially when I'm under stress or a lot of pressure. I only ever pick at things that are small, like boiled sweets, but never proper meals. When I'm working, Michael or whoever I'm with in Colorado normally has to cook me stuff and sit there watching me to make sure I eat or I just forget,'

'You haven't really eaten since we got here, have you?' I asked, realising that she only had a tiny bit of cereal earlier and we had missed lunch being down here. Yesterday, we had Nando's and some bacon. She must be starving by now.

However, I managed to persuade her that she had managed to sleep through the night. After I had taken to bed, and she asked for me to stay she fell asleep in my arms in seconds. I had kept waking up in the night, completely new to the whole sharing-a-bed-with-your-girlfriend thing. Not only that I was scared she would just leave, but sure enough every time I woke up, she was still laying down in bed with me deep asleep. I remembered at half five, the last time I had woke up with her, she was still laying on my chest but a bit of hair had fallen across her face. I gently moved it, tucking it back behind her ear as she smiled in her sleep. She said it as a fluke, but I wasn't too sure.

'I'm not hungry,' she said, laying back down on the beach.

'Well, we can go out for dinner then – down a pub or something.' I said, rolling onto my side as she looked at me, her wet hair tied back.

'I'm not a big drinker,' She said.

'Fairly confident you didn't say that last time you were around alcohol,' I joked, remembering the party. I couldn't really speak, either. She just laughed, shaking her head before rolling over and kissing me. 'Well we can just get some chips and a Coke and go sit on the beach and watch the sun set. Like a cheap date.'

'Yeah, I'd like that – can we go down to Bude again?'

'Of course, hun, anything for you.' I whispered and I knew that I would do anything for her now. When Jake told me time and time again he would do anything for Leannah, I never believed him. I thought it was him taking on the social cues that were deemed on him especially by her family. But now, seeing Ella grin as she got up, a slight crease across her stomach appearing as she jumped up before pulling me up too.