I would like to thank, CrazyKAMESFan13, DeniseDEMD, logiebears, Mystery Girl 911, Chey21, Franches, and CUTE CARGAN LOVE for all taking the extra time to revirew on the last chapter. Thank you it means so much to me to hear your thoughts so keep them coming.
Chapter 37: Fighter
Kendall was pacing in the waiting room. They were only allowing one person in the delivery room and Adam wouldn't let go of Cooper. He wanted him in there with him. Kendall and James both respected his wish and Cooper promised to take care of Adam and that he'd either come tell the news or have at least doctor talk to them. Kendall wanted to be in there with Adam to help him, but it was probably for the nest that he wasn't' in there. He would probably start crying and make things worse. These damn pregnancy hormones were messing with him.
James, Jake, Kyle, Leora, Jennifer, Logan, Carlos, Lilly, Layla, Miles, and Blaine were all sitting down not saying a word. No one had spoken since they had arrived a few hours ago. They had all greeted Kendall and James and asked how things were, but other than that no one spoke. James was sitting with Jake, Kyle and Leora. Jennifer, Carlos, and Logan were sitting with their girls and Miles. They were all just looking at the floor not talking. Blaine was sitting next to Jake was well. Jake had called him knowing Cooper would probably need someone from his family there.
Kendall was still pacing. He couldn't sit still at all. He was too worried about Adam and the baby. He knew that there was a chance that something could be wrong with the baby. There was a chance that some of the meds that Adam had been on could've affected the baby. In the beginning James had wanted to stop the meds, but without them Adam was crazy. His moods swings would've been worse and Kendall didn't want to deal with his rage when he got mad. The doctors gave them the information and in the end Adam decided to stay on his meds. Kendall was worried that they were what caused the problem.
Kendall closed his eyes for a moment and pushed thought thoughts away. He didn't need to be thinking like that. He needed to think positive thoughts for Adam and hope for the best.
"Kendall why don't you sit down," Jennifer suggested breaking Kendall from his thoughts.
"I can't," Kendall said without stopping to even looking at his mother. His eyes were on the wall in front of him. He turned around and focused on the other wall down the hallway.
"Kendall please," James pleaded with him. Kendall just shook his head. He was too wired to sit down. He didn't want Adam to lose the baby or something happen to Adam. If he was pacing he was thinking about his feet and where he was walking and not about his son.
"Oh my god I just got your message!"
Kendall spun around and saw Katie heading his way. She looked as if she had run here. She was out of breath and her hair was a mess.
"I am sorry, I left Jake's party early, Michael had a meltdown and I needed to get him home. I didn't check my phone until about an hour ago, but how is Adam?" Katie said quickly.
"He's in the delivery room," Kendall said. Katie nodded her head. She looked around at the others. Katie took a seat next to Jennifer and started talking to her a bit.
"Kendall, please just sit," Jennifer pleaded with him once more.
"Mom I can't my baby is in there having his baby and he might lose her," Kendall said chocking up. He fought his tears. "I can't sit down cause then I'll have nothing to do. As long as I am moving I don't think about it too much," he said his tears finally falling. James jumped up before Jennifer could even move and took Kendall in his arms.
"It's gonna be ok Kendall," James said holding the hormonal blonde close. Kendall just pressed his face into James' shoulder and let a few tears fall.
"Kendall premature birth survival at seven months is at ninety percent. Everything should be fine," Logan assured the blonde.
"What about that other ten percent," Kendall snapped turning on Logan.
"Don't think like that, it'll only stress you out," Katie said her eyes on Kendall's stomach. Kendall's hands went to his stomach and he took a few deep calming breaths. She was right he had to be careful and think about his own baby girl. He didn't want to get too stressed and lose her either. He returned to James' embrace and pressed his face into his husbands neck. These damn hormones were really making him crazy.
"If I have to be here again within the next few years for any of you other three I will kick your asses got it," Kendall warned his other three children.
Jake was the first to move, he walked over to Kendall and hugged him and James. "I promise," he said.
"Me too," Leora said standing up and walking over to Kendall's other side.
"Yeah me three," Kyle said joining in on the hug from behind. Kendall's arm moved back to pat Kyle's side to show he heard him. Kendall smiled slightly at his three kids and hugged them all back with love.
-Landslide-
Cooper was holding Adam's hand. Adam squeezed it as another contraction hit and the doctor told him to push. Cooper encouraged him and squeezed his hand back. The doctor, who had introduced himself as Dr. Herman, was in front of Adam instructing him on what to do when to push.
"Ok she's breached, that's gonna make this a little harder," Dr. Herman said.
Cooper thought for a moment trying to remember what that meant. He had heard that word once. Adam had used it after reading a book. It meant the baby was coming out feet first rather than head first.
Adam fell back on the bed as the contraction ended. He tried to catch his breath. "I can't do this," he said shaking his head.
"Yes you can," Cooper said. "You can do this Addie, for our daughter," he said running a hand through Adam's sweat soaked hair. He didn't care about his gross his hair was, he just knew he needed to calm Adam down and get him to continue. Adam nodded his head as another contraction hit. He cried out in pain and started pushing again. Eventually the feet were out and Cooper kept encouraging Adam. He helped him with everything they had leaned in the Lamaze class that they had taken along with the parenting classes. He helped Adam as best he could, but ultimately it was Adam doing all the work.
Cooper felt so helpless watching Adam like this. He had never felt this helpless before and it was scary. He had only felt like this a few hours ago when James told him that Adam's water had broken. He had nearly passed out right then and there. Everything had become even more real at that point. Adam was really going to have the baby. He could tell he was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. Cooper just grabbed Adam's hand once more and let him squeeze it.
Soon the baby was out and Adam fell back onto the bed with a grunt. Cooper didn't get a chance to really look at his daughter before she was rushed off. He knew they had to check her development and things like that. She hadn't even cried when they got her out. Cooper was worried. That couldn't be a good sign. He looked over at Adam. He was breathing hard and sweating as he laid back. Cooper moved closer to Adam and grabbed his hand. Adam looked up at Cooper his eyes brimming with unshed tears.
Adam and Cooper were moved to another room. They hadn't heard any news on their daughter yet, they just knew she was alive. Cooper was sitting on the edge of Adam's bed waiting for the doctor to come.
"She wasn't even crying Coop," Adam said softly.
"I know," Cooper said looking at the wall before him. The door opened and Dr. Herman walked into the room. He was still in his scrubs but his mask was gone. He didn't look like he had good news.
"Hello boys," he greeted.
"How is she?" Adam asked skipping the preliminaries. He was anxious and he wanted to know how his daughter was doing.
"Your daughter is three months premature, her lungs are underdeveloped and she's having a hard time breathing on her own. She can't even cry," Dr. Herman said. "She's being in the NICU and is being thoroughly examined for any other problems. She's being up in an incubator and hooked up to a respirator," the doctor said.
"Will she be ok?" Adam asked.
"Right now, it's hard to say, I mean the next twenty four to forty right hours are gonna be the most critical. I mean I've seen babies who were born at twenty one weeks live and have very few to no health problems and I've seen babies born at thirty two weeks die. Only time will tell if your baby will survive. I will let you know more as we find out more," Dr. Herman said. Adam and Cooper nodded their heads. Dr. Herman left.
"I suppose I should go share the news," Cooper said slowly. He didn't really want to leave the room, but everyone was waiting for news on the baby. They had been there for hours already.
"Yeah, just hurry back," Adam said nodding his head.
"Will do," Cooper said leaning in and pecking Adam on the cheek. He then left the room and headed to the waiting room where everyone was waiting. They all looked up at Cooper as he walked into the room. They didn't speak, but their eyes all asked the same question, 'Is she alive and ok?'
"She's alive," Cooper said slowly, "but her lung are very under developed and she's have a hard time breathing on her own. That's all we know right now. They have her in the NICU and are hooking her up to machines that are gonna help her breathe," he said.
"How's Adam," Kendall asked.
"He's fine, just a little tired," Cooper said.
"We're gonna go talk to him, you guys just stay put," James said to the others who all nodded their heads.
"He's in room 211 and tell him I'll be back in a bit," Cooper said. James nodded his head and patted Cooper on the shoulder. Cooper looked over at Blaine. "Did Jake call you?" he asked as the rest of Knight and Mitchells started talking to one another. Blaine nodded his head. Cooper just walked over to Blaine hugged him. It was good to have family here.
"Coop I think-" Blaine started.
"I know," Cooper said nodding his head. He knew what Blaine was going to suggest. He wanted to call his parents too. They hadn't talked to Cooper in months, but they were still his parents. He thought that they deserved to know that they had a granddaughter.
"I'm gonna go outside and make a phone call," Cooper said. Blaine nodded his head.
Once he was standing by the entrance Cooper pulled his phone out and turned it back on. He let himself fall onto one of the benches. Once his phone turned on Cooper dialed the number that he knew so well. He pressed his phone to his ear as he waited for someone to answer. He was biting his lip as he waited. He was nervous, even if it was his parents. What would they say? Would they be happy now? Would they still be mad?
"Hello you've reached the Anderson's we're not able to answer your call right now, so please leave a message and we'll get back to you,"
his mother's voice said. Cooper sighed as the beep came.
"Hey, uh, mom, dad, this is Cooper. I know you probably don't want to talk to me or want anything to do with me, but Adam had the baby. It's a little girl," Cooper said tears welling in his eyes. "She's a little early, three months to be exact, and she's not doing too good right now but we're hopeful. I just thought you deserved to know that you're grandparents, for the moment at least. I'll know more in twenty four hours, but for now she's alive."
Cooper hit the end button and pocketed his phone. His heart was racing. He was wondering if they had been home and heard the message and just ignored it, or if they had been out and would hear it as soon as they got home. He should've known that they wouldn't answer. He hadn't had contact with them since before Christmas. They had kicked him out and didn't even blink twice. They hadn't even told Blaine that they had kicked him out. Blaine had found out from Adam. Cooper took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. He didn't need to be angry when he went back to Adam.
"You ok?"
Cooper looked up and saw Jake standing at the other end of the bench. Cooper sighed and hung his head.
"Not really," Cooper admitted. Jake moved and sat down next to him.
"Look, this is probably scary, but Adam needs you," Jake said softly. "I know things don't look good right now, but just be there for Adam. He talks a big game but on the inside he's just a scared boy who needs help," he said.
"I know, I think I'm gonna go to him right now, I told him I wouldn't be gone long," Cooper said. He stood up and started for the door.
"Cooper," Jake said. Cooper turned and looked at Jake.
"It's ok to be scared though, we all are," Jake said.
Cooper just nodded his head and headed back inside. He made his way back to Adam's room. He walked into the room and saw Adam sitting up in bed talking to Kendall and James.
"I mean what did I do?" Adam asked tears in his eyes. He looked over at Cooper as the door shut.
"It wasn't anything that you did," Kendall said looking at Adam.
"He's right Addie," Cooper said. Cooper walked over to Adam's bed sat down on the edge of Adam's bed and placed his hand on Adam's thigh comfortingly. Adam looked down at his hand for a moment before looking up.
"I'm not a drinker, I don't smoke, I took all my vitamins, was I eating the wrong foods or something," Adam rambled looking at Cooper.
"Adam you hardly eat junk food your one of the healthiest people I know," Cooper said grabbing Adam's hand.
"Is it because we couldn't decide on a name for her?" Adam asked.
"No it wasn't that," Cooper said. He opened his mouth to continue but Adam started talking again clearly not having heard him.
"Maybe it's physical, like some kind of genetic disease," Adam continued.
"I don't think it was anything like that either," James assured his son.
"Then what was it?" Adam snapped looking at the three that were the room. "Why was my baby born prematurely? And why is she probably gonna die?" he asked confused.
"No one can answer that," Kendall said placing his hand on Adam's shoulder. Adam didn't look at Kendall though.
"If it's not something physical then maybe I'm being punished for something," Adam reasoned.
"Adam no, don't be like that," Cooper said.
"Adam stop," Kendall said shaking his head tears welling in his eyes.
"I mean it, maybe there is some unknown force that is punishing me for something I did," Adam said his anger starting to rise.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Cooper said firmly.
"Well I must've, cause if there's nothing wrong with me and I'm not being punished for something then nothing makes any sense," Adam yelled the volume of his voice rising as he got angry. "Why do I deserve this?" he asked softly, tears brimming in his eyes again.
"No, you don't deserve this," Cooper said firmly, "I don't deserve this," he said moving closer to Adam as Adam looked down at his lap. "Look at me," Cooper requested and Adam looked up. "You do not deserve this and our baby does not deserve this. These things happen ok, no one deserves them," Cooper said grabbing Adam's hand and sitting down next to him. He placed his other arm around Adam and pulled him close. He pressed a kiss to Adam's forehead and held him close.
"We'll go let the others know you're ok Adam," Kendall said grabbing James' hand and pulling him towards the door. Adam just nodded his head against Cooper's chest. The two adults left. Cooper just held Adam stroking his hair and telling him he was there for him and whispering words of encouragement to him and tell him that it wasn't his fault that this had happened.
Cooper hated seeing Adam like this. Adam looked ready to breakdown and just fall apart. Over the last few months they had both gotten more comfortable with the thought of being parents. They had started to get things ready for the baby and were both reading books and trying to learn everything they could so they'd be good parents. Now it seemed like all that might've been for nothing. Their daughter was close to dying.
Cooper wasn't sure how long they stayed like that before Adam spoke. "I want to see her," he said looking pulling out of Cooper's embrace and looking up at him.
"Do you think that's wise?" Cooper asked. He wanted to see her too, but he was scared. He knew she probably didn't look healthy, and possibly under developed.
"No, but I want to see her," Adam said.
"Tomorrow, it's late and I think you need some sleep," Cooper said.
"No I don't, what I need is to go see my daughter," Adam said.
"For a little bit and then will you get some sleep?" Cooper asked. Adam nodded his head. They made their way to the NICU and found their daughter. There was only two incubators in use and the nurse directed them to their daughter.
In the incubator was their daughter. She hardly looked like a baby with her small size and her skin was a little translucent. Her face was a bit sunken in and her head seemed to be about the size of Cooper's fist. She had wires attached to her and she wasn't moving and her eyes weren't open. The nurse explained some things to them before leaving to give them some time with her. They both just stood there looking at her not sure what to do.
"She's so small," Adam said finally.
"I know," Cooper said placing his hand on the glass above his daughter. The two of them just stood there looking at their daughter. Neither of them knew what else to say. They just stood there in silence.
Cooper glanced over at the other incubator and saw a slightly bigger baby. He was reminded of his encounter yesterday with the little girl, Annie. He still had her doll and wasn't sure if he was going to see her again. He would like to get the doll back to her somehow. He hadn't told Adam about running into Annie yet. So much had been going on that he hadn't had the time to really just talk to Adam. They both just stood there looking at their daughter wondering what was going to happen to her.
-Landslide-
James was sitting in the waiting room with Kendall and the kids along with Jennifer, Katie, Logan, Carlos, and Blaine. Logan had the girls and Miles stay home today because he didn't want too much stress on Adam with too many visitors. They had been at the hospital for hours. It had been almost twenty four hours since the baby was born and they hadn't heard anything about her yet. Everyone was worried about her. Adam and Cooper had gone to see her last night before they went to bed. Cooper had stayed all night with Adam while everyone else had gone home, but they were back early this morning. They were all eager to hear more about the baby. Throughout the day everyone had gone in to talk to Adam one at a time. He seemed to be a bit better than yesterday, but not much.
"How long has it been since we've heard anything?" James asked looking around at the others. Everyone was on edge. They all wanted to know more about the baby and if she was improving or not.
"About an hour," Logan said looking at his watch.
"Shouldn't they be done running tests by now? You said everything would be fine," Kendall said.
"I'm not an expert Kendall, but some of the tests take time," Logan said.
"She might not have time Logan," Kendall said quickly.
"What do you think," James asked placing a hand on Kendall's thigh calming the blonde down as he looked over at Logan.
"What?" Logan asked confused for a moment.
"You're a doctor, what do you think, will she be ok?" James asked slowly and enunciating each word. They had avoided asking him that this entire time, but now James wanted to know what Logan thought about all of this from a medical point of view.
"Honestly?" Logan asked.
"Yes, and don't you dare sugar coat it," James warned him. He wanted Logan's honest medical opinion. He didn't care if it was bad, he just wanted to hear it.
"Her lungs are dangerously under developed, she can't breathe on her own and if she can't by the forty eight hour mark I don't think she'll make it," Logan said looking down at his hands. James and Kendall both looked over at his shocked ready to yell. "That being said though, she's a Knight," he said.
"What's your point," Kendall asked.
"Adam is so much like you Kendall, I honestly think that's why you two butt heads so much, but he's a fighter and I'm sure she will be too," Logan said looking over at the blonde. A small tugged a Kendall's lips.
"She's also an Anderson and we're stubborn as hell, I think she's got a good chance of surviving," Blaine said. The atmosphere lightened and everyone was a little more optimistic.
"Did they ever decide on a name?" Leora asked looking around at her brothers and dads.
"I don't think so," Kyle said slowly as he looked to Kendall and James trying to figure out if they knew.
"No, Adam said they hadn't yesterday," James said remembering Adam's near breakdown and how Cooper had handled it. Cooper had stepped up and talked Adam down from the edge. James had to give him credit, that wasn't something that was easy to do especially when Adam missed a dose of his medicine.
A doctor walked out towards them and Kendall and James stood up recognized him as the doctor that had been taking care of their granddaughter last night.
"Things aren't looking too good right now, but we're not giving up. We're doing everything that we can, but the boys are with her right now. I'd suggest being with them right now. I think they need all the support that they can get right now," he said.
"Yeah ok," Kendall said nodding his head. He looked over at the others as the doctor walked away.
"I want to go," Jake said standing up, "Adam's gonna need people around him," he said.
"I agree," Blaine said. Jennifer nodded her head along with the twins and Katie.
"We'll stay here for now, this is a family thing, and don't say we're family cause I know we are, but this is for you guys right now," Logan said. Carlos nodded his head.
"No you guys are family, come on," Kendall said. Logan and Carlos shared a look before standing up together.
-Landslide-
Adam and Cooper were in the NICU again. There was a nurse standing over their daughter checking her over when they arrived. She looked up at them with sadness in her eyes.
"Any improvement?" Adam asked softly. He knew there wasn't any, but he had to ask. He was hoping for good news, even if he knew he wouldn't get it.
"A little, but not much she's been moving her arms a bit but she tires really easily," the nurse said. Adam and Cooper nodded their heads and the nurse left to give them some privacy.
"There's our beautiful little daughter," Cooper said looking at her with tears in his eyes. She didn't look any different than she had the night before. Her eyes were barely open and she wasn't moved other than her chest moving up and down with help from the machines.
Cooper just placed his arm around Adam's waist and pulled him close. Adam leaned against Cooper. They both looked over their shoulder when Dr. Herman walked into the room with Kendall, James, Jake, Kyle Leora, Jennifer, Katie, Logan, Carlos, and Blaine.
"Hello boys," Dr. Herman greeted them with a sad sympathetic smile. Cooper just gave him a nod of acknowledgement.
"I can't stand to see her like this, hooked up to all this stuff" Adam said looking at the machines she was attached to. Adam then looked up at Dr. Herman. "Is there any point to this?" he asked.
"Well, sometimes parents decide to unplug the machines and…let nature take it's course," Dr. Herman said slowly looking at Adam and Cooper.
"Well Coop, I think we have a decision to make," Adam said looking at Cooper. He saw Kendall and James looking at him from behind Cooper as well. He knew they wouldn't say anything, this was for him and Cooper to decide.
"Wait, are you saying this is it for her?" Cooper asked looking up from his daughter to Dr. Herman.
"Well if you're asking for my medical opinion, I'd say she has very little chance to survive on her own," Dr. Herman said looking over at Logan.
"What do you say," Cooper asked looking at Logan as well. He was a doctor too and he may not specialize in this area, but he was smart. Logan took a deep breath and sighed before answering.
"I've got to agree, but I think there is still a chance for her," Logan said looking at Adam and Cooper.
"Well, I think that she deserves a chance to experience life," Adam said pausing for a moment to gather himself. "Not hooked up to all these machines," he said slowly looking up at Cooper. He then leaned into Cooper as a few tears slipped down his cheeks.
"I-I think he's right," Cooper said looking at the doctor. He wasn't able to look at anyone else, he didn't want to see their faces of shock. He was sure they were shocked, but it wasn't their decision to make. It was his and Adam's, and no one said anything about it.
"Ok then, I'll send in a nurse with some forms for you two to sign," Dr. Herman said nodding his head.
"Cooper let's go for a walk," James said placing a hand on Cooper's shoulder.
"No, I don't wanna leave," Cooper said his lips quivering as looked at his daughter. He tried to move closer to her but James steered him towards the door.
"Just for a second, come on," James urged him while leading him out of the room.
"I'll come with," Blaine offered.
"Me too," Kyle said. as he followed the two out to the hallway. Once they were out there Cooper walked over to the wall away from the door and leaned against it. He left his tears fall.
"I can't take this," Cooper said looking at the ground.
"Hey, this is hard I know," James said placing his hands on Cooper's shoulders in a comforting manner. "Look sometimes you just gotta put one foot in front of the other even if you don't know where you going," he said.
"I feel like I'm gonna lose it," Cooper admitted his hand coming up to run through his hair. He had been acting like he wasn't scared for Adam's sake and he was being strong for him, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold the charade.
"No your not," Blaine said walking up to his brother. "I have never seen you as together as you were yesterday and today Coop. You're gonna make it through this," he assured his younger brother looking him in the eyes.
"Yeah you're doing great," Kyle piped up.
"Look, Adam needs you right now more than ever, Cooper, you've gotta stay focused and when you think you've got nothing left to give you just gotta give more," James said stepping back up to Cooper.
"I don't know if I can Mr. Knight," Cooper said shaking as he tried to fight the sobs that were raking through his body. James looked at Blaine and Kyle for a moment before he turned back to Cooper.
"I know this isn't politically correct to say, but you're the man and Adam needs you to be strong right now," James said placing a hand on Cooper's shoulder.
"I know, I know," Cooper sighed biting his lip. He looked down at the floor as more tears came. He knew James was right that Adam needed him to be strong, but he wasn't as strong as everyone thought he was. He was scared that something was going to go wrong, especially now that he and Adam decided to turn the machines off. Cooper didn't regret the decision. No he thought she did deserve to live her life off the machines however long it be.
"Hey guys give us a second," James said to Blaine and Kyle.
"Uh, yeah, I'm kind of thirsty and I think there's a vending machine around here somewhere," Kyle said nodding his head. He and Blaine walked away from the two and down the hallway. James sighed and took a step back from Cooper and looked at him.
"Look Cooper, I know I'm not your dad, but over these last few months I've come to see you as a son. I'm gonna help you through this," James said reassuringly. Cooper looked up at James.
"It all just happened so fast," Cooper said shaking his head. "Not even a year ago things were simple. We were just two high school juniors, I was on the football team and Adam was in theater, then he got pregnant," Cooper said taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "I am sorry Mr. Knight, but it took me a long time to get used to the thought of being a dad and now that I am one…" Cooper said looking to the window that led into the NICU where Kendall, Jake, and Leora were all hugging Adam who seemed to be crying. "I want it more than anything in the world," Cooper said his tears free flowing now. He wasn't fighting them anymore. "It-it's just too much, h-how do I deal with it all?" he asked.
"Look Cooper, everyone knows that there's good and there's bad, ok," James said using his hands to show good and bad. Cooper nodded his head showing that he was listening to James. "Everyone knows the good and no one ever thinks that the bad stuff will happen to them. Then one day, bam, it does and everything goes crazy and you're gonna feel like there is no way to ever go on, but the day goes by, and then the next, and soon it's a week, a month, and a year. You'll look back and think, 'hey I got through that, I don't know how, but I did,' I'm not gonna lie and say it gets better or easier either, it just becomes bearable as time goes on and eventually it will fade to just another memory," James said looking at Cooper.
"I am not gonna let him down Mr. Knight," Cooper said looking up at James.
"I know," James said. Cooper moved over to James and gave him a hug. James hugged him back knowing that Cooper needed it right now.
"For what it's worth, you and Kendall are more of fathers to me that my dad ever was," Cooper said. James just tightened his hold on Cooper and nodded his head.
-Landslide-
Adam handed Cooper the pen after he signed the forms saying he didn't want his daughter hooked up to the machines. Cooper signed it and handed the form back to the nurse. Kendall, James, Jennifer, Katie, Jake, Leora, Kyle, and Blaine were all in the room once more. Logan and Carlos were out in the hallway giving the Knights and the Anderson boys some space. Everyone was watching the two. The nurse took the papers and left. A few nurses came in and started detaching her from the machine.
"Can I hold her?" Adam asked. He knew her chances of surviving had drastically lowered, and he wanted to hold her before she…he couldn't even finish that thought. He just wanted to hold his daughter at least once.
One of the nurses nodded her head. Once all the tubes and wires were clear of her, her feeding tube being the only thing left she wrapped the baby up in a blanket and carefully handed her to Adam. The nurses left to give them some privacy.
Adam looked down at her and his heart swelled with emotions and Cooper was at his side looking down at her as well. She was breathing, but just barely. She wasn't really moving her arms and her eyes hadn't opened yet.
"What do we do now?" Adam asked looking up at his dads.
"I think we should all just hold her," Kendall said slowly. Adam looked up at Kendall and nodded his head. He carefully eased her into Kendall's arms.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Jennifer asked looking at Kendall.
"I don't know what to think mom, but just lets do this," Kendall said as he looked down at his granddaughter with teary eyes. "Hey there little one, I'm your grandfather," he said tears welling in his eyes. James moved closer to Kendall. "I love you so much baby girl, I've been looking forward to meeting you," he said biting his lip. James carefully took the baby from him and Kendall turned to his mother and she hugged him.
"I'm your other grandpa," James said looking down at her. He felt tears coming too as he talked to her and told her he loved just as much as Kendall did. "I've waiting for you too. I'll admit at first I wasn't happy about you, but after I got over the shock and got used to the idea of having a grandbaby I got excited. I'm happy to finally meet you baby girl," he said tears slipping down his cheeks.
Jake was next. He took her from James and looked down at her. "Hi, I guess I'm your uncle Jake," Jake said slowly not used to the idea of actually being an uncle yet. He smiled down at her. "I might not be around much but that won't mean I don't care about you," he said softly. He knew if she survived this that he would get to see her since he'd be in college in a few months. He passed her onto Leora.
"I'm your aunt Leora," Leora said with a smile. She seemed to be more comfortable with the thought than Jake. "Growing up I had a really cool auntie and awesome grandma who both helped me learn to be a girl," she said looking up at Katie who was smiling at her. "I know you don't have a mother, not that there's anything wrong with it, but I will be there to help you when you dad and papa can't," she said looking up at Adam and Cooper. They both had tears in there eyes. Leora passed her onto Kyle.
"Sup, I'm your awesome uncle Kyle," Kyle said smiling at Jake who just rolled his eyes. "I'm much cooler than Jake and Leora combined, I may not be able to help you with girl problems, but if you ever want to learn how to burp the alphabet I'm your guy" he said looking down at her for a moment. He earned a few chuckles from the others around him. It was such a Kyle thing to say though and no one said anything. "I remember when I was little Adam and I were on this ride at the fair together. It was really high up and I didn't know any better and I stood up and nearly fell and Adam was there to pull me back in. My point is if you ever feel like you're falling away from us don't worry," Kyle said chocking up a bit. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued on. "we'll all be here to either pull you back in or catch you at least," he said a tear slipping down his cheek. He then turned and handed her to Katie who had tears in her eyes. Kyle turned away trying to hide his tears. James moved to his side and pulled him into a hug. Kyle let him and just pressed his face into chest.
"Wow, my first great niece," Katie said slowly as she looked down at the tiny baby in her arms. "Hi I'm your great auntie Katie, I taught Leora a lot of how to be a girl and if you ever need help and she's not there I'll be there for you," she said looking down at the baby.
Jennifer was next. She looked down at her great granddaughter with tears in her eyes. "Hi there, I'm your grandma Jen," she said. She knew it would matter that she was called just grandma. "I'm the one who taught both Katie and Leora all they think they know. If they don't know the answers I will," she said. She started to choke up and couldn't say anymore but she knew she got her point across. She turned to Blaine and handed her over.
"I'm your uncle Blaine and Kyle has nothing on me," Blaine said glancing up at Kyle who's jaw dropped. Leora and Jake had to stifle a laugh. "I'm way cooler than him. I'll admit I didn't know about you until about a month ago, but I already love you and I will be there for you if you ever need me," he said. Cooper smiled at Blaine glad that he had at least one of his family members here to be a part of her life.
Adam took his daughter from Blaine and looked down at her again. His eyes were wet with fresh tears. He held her close to him as he looked down at her before looking up at the others.
"Let's give these two some time alone with her," James said catching on to what Adam wanted. Everyone nodded their heads and left the room.
"Hey there my sweet little girl, I'm your papa," Adam said tears slipping down his cheeks. "I love you so much, more than anything in the world," he said looking down at her. He brought a hand up to her face and stroked her cheek gently. "You are going to survive this, I know this because you're a Knight like me and you're a fighter, you're going to make it through this you hear," he said. He knew her chances had decreased when the machines were stopped, but he wanted to believe that she'd make it. It helped him. "You're also an Anderson like your father and you're probably gonna be stubborn like him, and no matter what life throws at him he pushes through and he's a survivor just like you're going to be," he said. He looked up at Cooper who looked like he wanted to hold her but wasn't saying anything. Adam held her out and carefully eased her into Cooper's arms.
"Hi," Cooper said unable to say anything else. He took a deep breath and found his voice again. "I'm your dad, you've caused a lot of problems for some people little missy, but I wouldn't expect anything less from you. You are your papa's girl," he said glancing up at Adam. "It's true and you know it Addie," he said.
"Yeah," Adam said nodding his head a small smile tugging at his lips.
"I've got the perfect name for you, if your papa agrees," Cooper said looking up at Adam.
"What?" Adam asked.
"Miri," Cooper said looking down at his daughter once more. "Miri Anne Anderson," he said. The name just sounded right.
"It's perfect," Adam said looking down at her as well. "Where'd you come up with that name?" he asked.
"A new friend helped me," Cooper said smiling at the thought of Annie.
"It's perfect, Miri our little miracle," Adam said. Cooper looked down at Miri and saw her eyes were open. He saw two big brown eyes looking up at him. His heart soared at that. He hadn't seen her open her eyes yet.
"Addie look," Cooper said. Adam looked and gasped. Miri's eyes were wide and looking around. Adam's hand came up to his mouth as he looked at her. Cooper looked up and locked eyes with him for a moment. They both smiled at one another before looking back down at Miri.
A nurse walked into the room to check on the other baby, but stopped when she saw Adam and Cooper holding Miri and their shocked expressions.
"Something wrong boys, is she…" she trailed off.
"No, the opposite, I think," Cooper said his eyes never leaving Miri. The nurse looked confused and walked over to them. She looked down at the baby and smiled.
"Oh my, it looks like she's stronger than we thought," she said.
"Is this a good sign then?" Adam asked looking up at her.
"Yes, she seems to be breathing fine too," The nurse said smiling at them.
Cooper felt a wave of relief wash through him, maybe, just maybe Miri would pull through this. The nurse took Miri and put her back in her incubator. Miri seemed to be a bit more lively too. She was moving her arms around and curling her toes.
"I'll go let Dr. Herman know what's going on," the nurse said. Adam and Cooper nodded their heads. She checked on the other baby and left.
Adam and Cooper looked at one another before both heading to the door. They walked out to the hallway where everyone was either sitting or standing. There was only a few chairs out here.
"Something wrong?" James asked worried things had taken a turn for the worse.
"No, I don't know what happened, but she's opened her eyes and she seems to be breathing on her own pretty good," Adam said a small smile tugging at his lips. Cooper knew he didn't want to get his hopes up, but this was a big improvement.
"Really?" Logan asked looking up at the two. Adam and Cooper both nodded their heads
"Yeah, we finally decided on a name though," Adam said.
"Miri," Cooper said. Everyone shared a look.
"That's pretty," Leora said speaking up.
"Where on earth did you come up with that name?" Adam asked looking at Cooper.
Cooper told him and everyone else about running into Annie right before Adam's water broke. He left out the part about him braking down in the hallway and crying. No one needed to know that. He told them about the doll's name that it was still in his jacket pocket that was in Adam's room.
"It's the perfect name for her," Adam said.
Dr. Herman walked down the hallway towards them. He looked at Adam and Cooper before walking into the NICU. They followed him in and walked over to Miri as he examined her and checked her.
"It's a miracle," Dr. Herman said looking at the two.
"She's improved?" Adam asked.
"It would appear so," Dr. Herman said.
"She's a fighter just like her papa," Cooper said looking lovingly at Adam who blushed at the compliment.
"I wouldn't get your hope up too much boys, but this is an improvement and if this keeps up by tomorrow I think she really stands a chance," Dr. Herman said.
Adam and Cooper stood there side by side looking at Miri. They were both in shock that she improved a bit, but knew things could take a turn for the worse again. They didn't want to think about that right now. They had hope and wanted to cling to it even it was a bit naïve of them.
"Now would be a good time to name her," Dr. Herman said.
"Miri," Cooper said.
"Anne," Adam said. "Miri Anne," he said putting the two names together. Dr. Herman nodded his head. He left the room.
So this was an intense chapter to write and it took a few drafts and I almost wanted to end it after the Cooper/James scene, but I feel as though I leave clifhangers too much somtimes. I know nowadays that the survival rate of premature babies is higher but dealing with it is scary and escecially so when the baby is way under developed as Miri's lungs are. What do you think?
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