Disclaimer: No, I don't own Teen Titans.
Chapter 36
"Raven! You can't just leave me here!"
"I definitely can."
"Raaaaaaavennnnn," Beast Boy whined, "pleeeeaaaseee?"
"No."
"She's going to KILL me!" Beast Boy dropped to his knees, grabbing the bottom corners of her cloak and bunching them in his hands, "I'm begging you! Please? Don't go!" He buried his face into the cloth, and Raven snapped her cloak out of his hands.
"You're fine. She's already sleeping," Raven glanced at the girl currently curled up in Terra's bed.
"But for how long?!" Beast Boy whispered urgently.
Raven started walking away.
"Wait!" Beast Boy stretched his arm after Raven, as if it was going to make a difference, "don't-"
SWISH
The door shut.
"...go."
He sighed, letting his arm fall limp, then got up off of the ground. Well, he might as well try to pass out - maybe that way he wouldn't feel the excruciating pain as Marie tore him apart. Raven had told Marie that all of them would be sleeping in the same place. 'Place'. Interpreted by Marie as 'in the same room', and meant by Raven as 'in the same building'. Her sort-of-not-quite-but-still-kind-of-lie had seemed to work, and since Raven had gone to sit on the couch until Marie fell asleep, Marie must have assumed that was where her so-called parents were sleeping. In reality, Raven had chosen the couch because she felt it was JUST far enough away for Marie to not notice the lack of emotional energy coming from Raven when she abandoned Beast Boy and left him alone with the little demon. Both literally and figuratively.
"Meh...no...go...way..."
Beast Boy's ears perked up at the sound of Marie's mumbled words. He wanted so very badly to hide under the couch. Instead, he inhaled deeply and held his breath, tiptoeing over to the side of the bed to investigate.
"...leave...alone..." Marie turned in her sleep, batting a hand at the air, narrowly missing Beast Boy's face as he leaned over to watch her. He took a step back.
Marie's forehead was furrowed, her body tense - was she having a nightmare? Beast Boy knew all too well how the things that lurked in the back of the conscious mind could reign, unchecked, as soon as slumber fell. His tended to focus on things he feared he might do, and things he hadn't done, but deeply wished he had. Getting himself kicked off of the team for costing them a fight, or arguing with Robin. Not chasing after Terra, that first night she ran from them, and convincing her to trust him. Infecting Cyborg with another virus that couldn't be fixed by a green ameoba. Not turning into something strong enough to drag his parents' boat ashore. Turning into the Beast and killing Raven. Not telling Terra he was still her friend, on that last tipping point, before she surrendered herself completely to Slade. These were the things that terrorized Beast Boy's nightmares, so that he awoke in cold sweats, and the only way to calm himself was to walk the halls of the tower and stop at the door of each titan's bedroom, listening for the distinct heartbeat of the occupant. That was only for half of the nightmares, though. There was nothing he could do for the others. The ones about what had already come to pass. He looked down at the restless Marie. What did she have to be scared of? Did she also dream of becoming a beast?
"...my...cookies..." Marie batted at the air, rolling onto her other side, "...not...yours...Ryan..."
Beast Boy let out the breath he was holding, sighing in relief. Of course she didn't have those problems. Not with both parents alive, and a team to help her control her powers, not to mention Raven there to heal Ryan when things got out of hand. Her life was probably peachy, out there, in the future. He smiled to himself as he moved to return to the couch.
"...Ryan...get...Mark...way..."
Beast Boy stopped cold in his tracks. Had she just said...Mark?
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
The metal bot moved stealthily around the main ops room, hiding in the shadows. Scanning its surroundings, it scuttled towards the kitchen - hiding behind the island. Waiting. There had been no complications with disabling the tower's security system. Cyborg had, unwittingly, provided all of that information through his eye cam. It had made the break in almost painfully easy. No, the bot in the common room was not concerned with being caught on camera, but human - or Tamaranean - detection would be equally as problematic. So it stayed put, analyzing the incoming sound waves, to see if anyone was walking on the outskirts. A few moments later, the coast was approved clear. The bot made for the nearest wall, and raced up its side, heading for the security cameras.
A second bot scuttled silently along the floor of the med bay, heading for the computer, and quickly, noiselessly as possible, typed in the security codes it had been programmed to, and pulled up the titans' medical data.
A third and fourth bot scanned the stairwell before crawling down into the basement, where they made themselves quite comfortable in a darkened corner, lying in wait. Their time would come. But it was not tonight.
A fifth, and final bot, programmed with the knowledge that the codes Cyborg had used had not included the one it would need to enter the evidence room, pressed itself against the floor, its legs retracting, compressing into a thin disk, which just barely slid beneath the door before expanding again on the other side. This one's mission was nonessential. This one, as Ms. Wilson had so fondly said to its uncomprehending visual sensors, was just for fun.
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
"...zinthos."
Raven lowered herself back onto her bed, feeling rested for the first time in days. Uninterrupted meditation, and the knowledge that she wouldn't need to sleep in a cramped bunk bed, had done wonders for her psyche. Plus, it didn't hurt that Marie and Beast Boy were far, far away from-
"AH!" Raven cried, shooting back in shock, "Beast Boy..." she growled, "why are you in my ROOM?!"
"Raven!" He grabbed her hand, attempting to pull her off the bed, "you gotta come with me!"
"Why?" She let herself be dragged to the edge of the bed, "did something happen to Marie?"
"No, I-AHHHH!" Beast Boy fell back on the floor, hard, when Raven unexpectedly retracted her hand.
"Get out. NOW!" She used her powers to shove him towards the door.
"Wait!" He tried to convince her, "it's IMPORTANT!"
She let the black force field fall.
"What?" She demanded. He was lucky she had just meditated. Pre-meditation Raven would already have blasted him into the wall.
"Ok, so I was just sitting there, and then all of a sudden Marie was all 'wahh' and 'go away' and 'don't touch the cookies' so I went over to see what was up and she was all rolling and whining and then she was like..." he gulped, unsure of how Raven would take this, and said, more slowly than the rest of his rushed tale, "'Ryan - get Mark away!'"
Raven waited.
Beast Boy just looked at her in expectation.
"...and then?"
"There's no 'AND THEN'!" Beast Boy cried, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her, "don't you know what that MEANS?!"
"NO," Raven pushed his hands off of her, "I don't."
"It MEANS that she has a brother!"
"That's ridiculous," Raven folded her arms.
"It's NOT!"
"She was dreaming. 'Mark' was just a figment of her imagination."
"She told Ryan to get him away from her! Like Ryan KNEW him!" Beast Boy cried.
"Marie hasn't said ANYTHING about anyone else in the future. If she had a brother, we'd know about it," Raven argued, then, under her breath, said, "it's not like she's quiet."
"DUDE! You're not even listening!"
"I am listening. But all I'm hearing is YOU wasting my time because of some meaningless dream YOU," she stabbed his chest with her finger, "didn't even HAVE!"
"She said MARK! MARK!" He emphasized, incredulous, "desn't that mean anything to you?!"
Raven stared at him.
Beast Boy's eyes widened.
"Oh..." Beast Boy smiled sheepishly, but it lacked authenticity. And Raven felt the utter nothingness in place of where Beast Boy's emotions should be. Not even a glimmer of happiness masking it.
"You, uh..." Beast Boy rubbed his neck, "you don't know who that is, do you?"
Raven shook her head.
"I mean, you shouldn't know...you couldn't have...I mean, I never - I didn't-"
"So who is he?"
Raven hadn't intended it to sound as short and impatient as it did, and she certainly didn't expect the twinge of deep, dark, overwhelming sadness, the kind that swallows you whole until you can't breathe, the kind that constricts your chest and makes your heart ache...she had never felt anything so...so - and then it stopped. Like a faucet, shut off as easily as it was turned on, overflowing the tub. And the nothingness was back. She looked at Beast Boy. Was...was that what he was hiding? Was that what lay beyond the wall? Was that what Robin felt, behind his own? And what could possibly have caused it?
She didn't have to wait long to find out.
"Um, Raven?" Beast Boy asked, "is it ok if I sit down?" He gestured to the space on the bed beside her.
"N-" she saw the look on his face and stopped herself from making her automatic reply, "sure."
"Thanks."
Beast Boy sat on the edge of the mattress, shoulders slumped, turned his head to face her, and started talking.
"You know how your dad is all evil and stuff? And you spent, like, your whole life wishing he'd just go away?"
It was a gross understatement, but Raven managed to eke out a nod instead of violently correcting him.
"Well, my dad wasn't like that. He was awesome," Beast Boy smiled, wistfully, "he'd take me out and show me all these cool animals and tell me all these awesome facts about them and - one time - he even let me check out his lab!"
Raven raised a brow. Beast Boy's father had a lab? Labs meant science. And Beast Boy...he wasn't really what she'd call a genius.
"That was nice of him," she offered.
"Yeah, it was," he smiled, "anyway," his face turned somber, "he saved me. He and my mom."
He looked away for a moment, remembering, and Raven felt the nothingness cracking.
"Was your mom also a scientist?" Raven guessed.
"Yeah!" He grinned, distracted, "how did you - oh, the lab."
"Yup."
"Hehe..."
"So you mother..." Raven prompted.
"They did stuff with animals - with genes and stuff," he clarified, "so we were in Africa, studying them."
"That's...pretty cool," Raven admitted.
"Yeah, it was! But then," his smile fell, and he looked away again, "I got really sick with this thing called sakutia - that you don't usually recover from," he put it lightly, but Raven understood his meaning.
"What did they do?" She asked, genuinely curious as to how Beast Boy was still sitting in front of her.
"They were working on this genetic machine thing," he rolled his eyes up as he tried to remember, "it had something to do with separating genes or something? Anyway," he looked back at Raven, "they somehow used it to turn me into this type of monkey that can survive it, until I beat the disease, and it worked. But, when I turned back..." he pulled his glove off and flexed his fingers, "it made me like this."
"I'm sorry," Raven said, genuine.
"Don't be," he put the glove back on, "it's the reason I got to be a titan! And meet all of you!" He grinned broadly, trying too hard to compensate for the seriousness of the conversation.
"What happened to them?"
Beast Boy's smile dropped. Leave it to Raven to cut straight to the point.
"We lived on a campsite - you know, with huts and everything? And there was this flood..." he took a breath before continuing, "and we got in a boat, but there was this waterfall, and they...they told me to fly away," he put his head in his hands, and the dam overflowed once again, almost knocking Raven over with the impact, "and I KNOW I could have saved them. I KNOW I could have. But...I didn't..."
Raven watched as the tears began to fall, but said nothing. She wasn't there, so who was she to lie to Beast Boy and tell him he was wrong? Maybe he could have saved his parents. Maybe not. Her gut told her it was the latter. The Beast Boy she knew would die for his teammates, if he had to. He was probably just too young to have done anything, even if he wanted to. And he certainly wouldn't have had titan-level training. As far as Raven knew, he might not even have been able to control his powers at that point. Still, she was not one to sugarcoat, so she refused to indulge in pretended facts. Thus, in lieu of comforting him with possible lies, Raven reached her arm out and put a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder, offering mild human contact instead. Unfortunately for Raven, Beast Boy took his as a sign that it was ok to grasp said arm and pull her into a hug, letting his tears stain her cloak. Raven politely said nothing, but patted his back, until, much like his tears, the sadness lessened into a stream, and then a trickle, and then a drip, until it was sealed again, and Raven could feel it no longer.
"Feeling better?"
Beast Boy wiped his nose on his sleeve and nodded.
It was...unexpected, to say the least, this unprompted, and extremely unfortunate history of Beast Boy's. It was something Raven herself would never have brought up, were the situation reversed. And that sadness...that sorrow...Raven had never felt anything like it. She certainly hadn't felt anything but joy at defeating her father. She wasn't sure exactly what her mother's status was, or that of Azarath. If anyone had asked, she would have said that there was just no point. There was no use dwelling on things that had already happened. What was done was done. But, in truth, the thought of confirming that her mother, that Azarath was gone, was too much. She may have considered Earth, and its associated dimension, her home, and her years in Azarath might not have been all sunshine and roses, but they were a part of her, and Raven couldn't help but feel attached. But, even so, even if she had confirmed that the world she was brought up in had ceased to exist as a direct result of her demonic father, she doubted she would feel even half the amount of pain and guilt and longing, and a hundred other heart-ripping emotions Beast Boy had stoppered. She wondered if she should envy him. That he actually had people to miss. But she was in no way envious of what she saw beneath that happy-go-lucky veneer. Now that she knew what Beast Boy had been hiding, she wasn't sure she wanted to. When something upset him now - did it add to that well of misery? Or, because it couldn't possibly compare, did it simply bounce off the wall, leaving only the forced happiness behind? Not that Beast Boy was never truly happy, of course. But there was a difference between someone who was happy, and someone who had happy moments. Beast Boy, apparently, fell well into the latter category.
Raven refocused. None of that was relevant. None of what Beast Boy had told her, was relevant. Her eyes narrowed as she remembered why they had even started this discussion in the first place.
"Did you seriously just come into my room to tell me about your parents?"
"Huh?" Beast Boy was caught off-guard.
"You could have just said that," her face softened, "it's like you told me - you're not alone. We're here for you - all of us. If you need us."
"Oh," he wiped the rest of the moisture out of his eyes with the back of his hand, "no, I just, uh, got a little off track I guess," then, thinking about it more, he added, "but you would have found out sooner or later. Ya know, since we're married and all." He leaned towards her and waggled his eyebrows for effect.
Raven rolled her eyes and pushed him away, feeling, to her relief, the thin threads of his usual surface-level joy coming back to him.
"Again - why are you here?"
"Uh," Beast Boy scratched his head.
"...you forgot?" Raven was quickly regaining her former irritation.
"MARK!" Beast Boy cried jumping up in excitement, then realizing his intensity, sat back down, "my dad's name was Mark."
"Your dad's name was Mark?"
"Mark Logan."
"Is that why you keep calling us 'team Logan'?" Raven made the connection.
"Yeah!" Beast Boy grinned, then, face falling a little, "I guess you wouldn't have known that."
Raven shrugged.
"I assumed it was something like that. Or some weird team name you came up with."
"Hey! It's not weird! It's my last name!" He defended, "and probably Marie's!"
"Marie Logan?" Raven said it aloud, it sounded so...normal. Raven didn't even have a last name. Her mother must have had one - she was from Earth, after all - but it's not like Raven had a legal birth certificate where such things were denoted.
"...so nice."
"What?" Raven was pulled from her musings.
"I said," Beast Boy repeated, "I didn't think you'd be so nice. To me. Letting me pick out her name."
"I wouldn't say you 'picked' your last name, but you're welcome."
"No - for letting me name her Marie."
"I don't know why I did," Raven said truthfully, "it's just so...average. For a titan. And for you - I mean your name's Garfield."
"Hey!" Beast Boy scowled, "it's not my fault that's what they named me!"
"So why'd you pick Marie, anyway?" Raven asked, only mildly curious, "did you have a friend with that name or something?"
"No," Beast Boy beamed, "it was my mom's name!"
"Oh," Raven responded, "that's nice of you, wanting to name your kids after them," Raven repeated the names, "Mark and Marie Logan. I guess that's not so bad. It's a lot better than Trigon and Arella."
Beast Boy stared at her, as if in shock.
"What?" Raven raised a brow, "I just gave you a compliment. You're welcome."
"Thanks..." Beast Boy maintained his expression of mixed fear and disbelief.
"Do...I have something on my face?"
Beast Boy shook his head slowly.
"So...you're not gonna freak out?"
"Why? Because my future self had a moment of kindness?"
"Um...because I came here to tell you about Mark..." he said slowly.
"Yeah," Raven said condescendingly, "you came here to tell me about some ridiculous dream that Marie had about some made up person stealing cookies."
"Not just any person," Beast Boy said, "someone named Mark, who was small enough that Ryan could help get him away from Marie."
Raven regarded him, "so?"
"So if Marie's dreaming about a little dude named Mark, and she's never met my dad..."
The gears in Raven's head started turning, and the not-so-puzzling puzzle fit into place. No wonder Beast Boy was concerned about Marie's dream. Raven hadn't even wanted one - who would want TWO of those little nightmares? Raven trained her eyes on Beast Boy. That was who.
"BEAST BOY..." she growled, eyes glowing red, "I'm going to KILL you..."