Title: Don't Ever Lie To Me
A/N: This is the first part of what will be First Time/Mash-Off/I Kissed A Girl. I just want to say that I took a lot of AU liberties with this one. And I hope you enjoy what I did with it. I manipulated the hallway scene in my head yesterday and couldn't help but start writing this out. I hope you like it. Thanks :)
As always, thanks for the new reviews/alerts/favorites!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any characters. All belong to RIB and Fox and whoever else that is not me:)
"Ladies, this is not the first time I've come to you asking for relationship advice, and you may all find it a little redundant considering this is what I asked you about last time—even though I might mention that you were entirely useless then—"
"Rachel." Quinn interrupted. Rachel looked up and noticed Tina, Brittany and Santana were all glaring from her digression. Quinn seemed the only one unaffected by her rant.
"Sorry, I just mean to say that I need help. And seeing as how we are all in glee together, and have had other significant friendships," Rachel glanced at Quinn warily, even though everyone in attendance knew of their past. Quinn rolled her eyes and sat back further on the desk. "I figured asking for that help wouldn't be a big deal at this point."
"This is stupid," Santana said, "I'm not even in glee club anymore. Can I leave?"
"W-what? No," Rachel chided, "I need all of you."
"Then just tell us what the hell this is about Berry. I'm losing patience." Rachel saw Brittany nudge her shoulder and smiled appreciatively.
"Rachel, maybe this would be easier if you could just," Quinn gestured with her hand, "tell us why we're here."
"Right, um. Well." Rachel regretted inviting Quinn. Although, from her word choice, it already seemed like Quinn knew where the conversation was headed. She knew the girl was smart enough to figure it out. "Finn, invited me over to his house on Friday. He hinted at us, furthering our relationship. By taking that necessary…um…step."
The room was eerily quiet until a loud, raucous laughter broke the silence. Santana was hunched over clutching her side. She turned her head to Brittany and pointed at Rachel. "She's, oh my god. She's talking about sleeping with Hudson." Brittany bit her lip, and Rachel could tell she was trying to hold back her laughter. Santana didn't make that effort.
Tina awkwardly side-eyed Quinn and Rachel sighed. "Yes, Santana. That's what I'm getting at. I love Finn, but, I need to know if this is the right time to pursue it."
"I thought you had that whole, waiting until you were twenty five thing?" Tina asked.
"Something else has come up," Santana started a whole new round of laughter, "that has made me want to rethink that regulation on my life."
"Which is?" Quinn asked innocently. Rachel was more perceptive to her than anyone else. Initially, she wanted to just have the conversation with Quinn; they could have discussed it alone and she would have been satisfied. But she didn't know if Quinn would agree to that, and this was her only option.
"Artie proposed something interesting during rehearsal today. That we cannot understand the passion our characters felt for each other without having experienced that particular aspect of life."
"That's ridiculous," Santana said, wiping at her eyes. "Having sex isn't going to make you a better actress. Especially not having sex with Finn." Rachel a little twinge of jealousy, remembering Santana had more experience with her boyfriend than she actually did. "Unless, you're pretending to enjoy it." She nodded her head. "Yeah Artie may actually have a point there."
"But sex isn't that big of a deal right?" Her question was directed at Santana. "You've had sex with plenty of people and it doesn't make a difference. What's the harm in doing something that will help me exercise a strength that could ultimately improve my career?"
Brittany leaned forward and spoke, "Sex doesn't make a difference with someone you don't care about. But you care about Finn, and it would be different. When it's with someone you love, it makes all the difference." Santana turned her head and smiled at Brittany.
Rachel found Quinn's hazel eyes thoughtfully staring at her fingernails. "What about you, Quinn?"
Quinn struggled to lift her eyes up. "Sex changes everything. And not just your relationship with the other person, but it changes who you are. We all know you, Rach," she looked around at everyone, "we know you would do whatever it takes to push yourself as far as it takes to be better. But you don't have to do this for a school musical. You love Finn, and he loves you." Rachel could see how painful it was for her to admit that. "But if you want my opinion," Rachel nodded, "just wait."
Rachel wasn't sure what she wanted to hear. She could have heard 'just wait until you're older 'or 'just wait until it means more.' But all she heard was 'just wait for me.' Rachel couldn't decide from the look on Quinn's face. It was too stoic and resigned. As if she was somewhere else, ignoring the conversation completely. Such a thoughtful answer couldn't have come from nowhere, so Rachel concluded that Quinn had checked out at the end, not wanting to hear her final decision on the matter.
"Just wait," Rachel mimicked.
The curtain dropped. Everyone was rushing together, the Jets mixing in with the Sharks, congratulating each other and hugging. Rachel and Blaine still held each other center stage. They were embracing and exchanging ideas of how they could improve for the next show. When that ended, Rachel ran towards Santana and stood feebly in front of her. Quinn watched on from the corner, barely listening to Mike instruct the football players on their next dance rehearsal to go over some of the choreography he had planned on changing.
She couldn't really make out what Rachel was saying, but could sense Santana's playful irritation from a mile away. She saw Santana put her hands up and exclaim "no!" before Rachel wrapped her arms around the taller girl and squeezed tight. Quinn laughed, understanding Rachel had probably given her a hug warning. It didn't seem fair; drunk Santana had hugged Rachel once without asking. It was about time the favor was returned. When Santana had finally pushed her away, Rachel ran off the stage and exited the auditorium.
Artie rolled up beside Quinn and smiled. "You were great."
She smiled back down at him. "Thanks. You did a fantastic job with this."
"One show down, five to go." He left her just as Santana approached. Her hands were knotted together and toying with each other.
"Hey," Santana greeted.
"Hi." Quinn could tell she was uncomfortable, knowing every time they had talked in the last couple months, they ended up fighting, and smiled to ease the tension. "You were marvelous."
Santana laughed. "You didn't do so bad yourself Fabray."
Shrugging, Quinn said, "What can I say? Theatre geek is our calling."
"Who would've thought?" Santana remarked with a cheeky grin.
"Two hottest girls in school turned losers? I'm pretty sure no one called that."
"We're not losers," Santana admitted confidently, "just because we started going after what we wanted instead of what we thought we should have doesn't make us losers."
"Are you writing a self-help book?" Quinn teased.
Santana laughed. "Shut up."
She watched Santana look around a locate Brittany who was twirling Tina playfully, like she had done during the America number. Over the loud chattering, Santana suggested, "You should come out with us tonight."
"Out where?" she asked.
"Breadstix. Me, Britts, Artie, the Asians, Rory, and Puck are going."
"No Rachel?" Quinn wondered.
Santana frowned. "She went to Finn's. He called her during intermission about not getting a scholarship or some shit."
Quinn knew what that meant. It was Friday after all. She was stupid to think Rachel would have taken any of their advice over Finn's persuasion. Especially if he was upset. Rachel would try to take care of him, and in her mind that would equate to sex; something she had denied him. 'It would just kill her for him to be denied anything else,' she thought bitterly.
"You up for it?" Santana asked.
Quinn shook her head. "No thanks."
"Don't beat yourself up about it, Q. You tried. We all tried." Santana put a heavy hand on her shoulder. The pressure was welcome and she shut her eyes, soaking in the comfort her oldest friend could provide.
"Thanks, S. I'm just going to go home. I need to sleep."
Santana removed her hand and gave her a timid smile. "Alright. Text me if you get bored."
"Will do." Quinn nodded and turned around. She followed Rachel's earlier path out of the doors behind the stage and walked through the halls of McKinley. She needed to pick up a coat out of her locker that she left earlier in the day and set off in the familiar direction.
Rounding a corner, she pushed herself up against the nearest set of lockers and behind an open door. She wanted to puke when she saw Puck with his tongue down Shelby's throat in her office. The older woman thrashed against Puck's chest and gripped the front of his shirt desperately. Through the door across the hall she could hear Puck's growling moans and watched him grab her hips roughly.
'What in the hell?' Quinn wondered. She couldn't process it. Her mind told her it couldn't have been Puck. But she would recognize his overgrown mohawk anywhere. The contents of her stomach still churned restlessly when she turned away and decided to forego her jacket completely.
In the cool night air, Quinn fought to get the disturbing images out of her head. 'Puck was kissing Shelby,' she recollected. It made her shiver. She was a teacher. Puck was usually a man-whore but he hadn't shown much interest in teachers before. Not to mention she was the adoptive mother of their child.
'Beth,' Quinn stopped dead in her tracks. Sleeping with a student wasn't necessarily the best way to maintain a reputation. All she needed was for Shelby to slip up on her own, and that opportunity was delivered to her on a silver platter.
Quinn had a way to get Beth back. She could get her life back. She had told Rachel it would be one or the other and on the same night when she felt like she was losing Rachel forever to Finn, Beth was practically being handed back over to her. It was a trade she was willing to make, and she decidedly started formulating the best way to finish her plan of bringing her baby back into her life once and for all.
Waking up naked never seemed to be a problem when she had Brittany on top of her. Not that waking up naked was ever really a bad thing, but feeling Brittany's warm breath on her neck just started her day off in the best way possible. Santana's fingers were splayed around Brittany's hip and rested on her lower back. If the tips of her fingers tingled just tracing over the soft skin, she wondered how it felt to her girlfriend. She would ask, if Brittany hadn't of been snoring softly under her chin.
Santana tightened her one armed grip on Brittany's waist and rolled them over gently, careful not to wake her up. Their legs were covered by the single black sheet on her bed since the comforter had been discarded to the ground the night before. She rested on her right side and admired the bare skin laid out in front of her. After her surgery, she was pretty convinced no one's breasts would even come close to looking as good, but even naturally, Brittany's were just better. Santana picked up her hand and traced a finger down Brittany's sternum and circled around her belly button. Brittany shivered under her touch and she smiled. The pad of her middle finger swirled around one of the larger freckles on her stomach, and moved onto the other ones in order of their descending size. She wasn't aware you could get freckles anywhere other than your face or your shoulders, and Brittany was the only person she had ever seen with them there. Santana loved them. She leaned down to kiss around them to display her affection.
Brittany's back lifted off the bed slightly as she stretched. "Mmm, c'mere."
Santana kissed up her chest, and paused under her chin. She opened her lips and sucked on the tender skin, earning a sleepy moan.
"Almost there," Brittany urged her to move farther. Santana knew she wanted a good morning kiss and teasingly avoided it. She kissed Brittany's chin, her nose brushing against Brittany's waiting lips, and then moved on to her temple, pursing her lips against it gently.
"Did I get it?" she asked against the skin.
"Nope."
"Hmph." Brittany's eyes were closed and Santana could see her eyeballs moving chaotically underneath the lids. "Let me try again." She kissed once on her right eyelid and then twice on her left. They stilled and Santana grinned down at her. Her hand went down to cup Brittany's waist, and hold her. Before Brittany could protest, she kissed the corner of her mouth eagerly. "Now?"
Brittany's hand ran along the one Santana had attached to her hip and settled behind her neck, the top fingers threading in the loose hairs she found there. "You can do better."
Santana smirked and leaned down. A breath away from Brittany's lips, she whispered, "Good morning."
"Good morn—"
Brittany was cut off when Santana claimed her lips gently. It was soft, barely grazing each other's mouths. The hand in her hair tightened its hold and drove her forward. Brittany's lips were sweet, and Santana figured it had to be the chocolate cake she had eaten the night before with their friends. She wasn't complaining.
Brittany pulled back and rest her lips on Santana's cheek. "You taste like cake."
Santana chuckled. "I think that's you."
"I don't know." Brittany turned her head and licked the corner of Santana's closed lips. When she did, Santana instinctively opened her mouth and let her inside, sliding their tongues together sensually. Brittany hummed and pulled back again. "Nevermind, it was me."
Santana laughed softly and pecked her lips. "You're a dork."
Brittany raised her eyebrows. "Says the person who was kissing my freckles."
Folding her arms and resting them down on Brittany's stomach, Santana readjusted herself, so one leg was in between the girl's thighs and she was more fully on top of her. "I like your freckles."
"I know you do." Brittany ran a few fingers through the hair hanging messily along the side of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "What time is it?"
Santana put her head down on her arms and shut her eyes. "You look. If I look I'll just be depressed all day from having to get out of bed."
She felt Brittany's stomach rumble with laughter and the way she turned her head to the side to look at the clock. "We have to get up."
"Never." Santana picked up her arms and let her face fall down onto Brittany's bare stomach. She covered her ears with her hands and kissed the skin under her lips. "I like it here."
"So do I." Brittany took a deep breath and started running her fingers through Santana's hair again. "But today's a big day for me."
Santana sat up again. She had almost forgotten about elections. With everything happening about the play, and finally joining the Troubletones, Brittany's campaign had fallen between the cracks. "Are you nervous about your speech?"
Brittany shrugged nonchalantly. "Not really." She could sense a little of her apprehension.
"You'll be wonderful. I know you're going to win." Santana knew Rachel, Kurt, or any of the other losers running didn't stand a chance. Not against Brittany.
"Thanks, babe." Brittany leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I do have something I want to talk to you about though, before school."
"Alright," Santana said.
"You were right, about glee and everything. I want to join the Troubletones with you."
"Are you serious?" Brittany hadn't said much about it since the week before, and Santana had been giving her space to think about it. "What changed your mind?"
"It's just like you said. Everything in there is drama, and I want to be a part of a club that has a chance of winning and has fun. You are always so happy when I see you after rehearsal and I want that. When I come out of glee club practice I just feel bored and sad."
Santana shook her head. "I'm not really sure if we have a chance of winning. It's only me, Mercedes, and that tone-deaf Sugar chick. Who sucks. Capital 'S' sucks."
Brittany laughed. "What about the Cheerio's?"
"What do you mean?"
"We could ask Sue. She hates Mr. Schuester, and helping Shelby win would mess with him right? So if we ask her, she would make some cheerleaders try out. Enough for us to have a decent team."
Santana could feel her mouth hanging open. 'Why didn't I think of that,' she wondered. "Britt, you're a genius."
Struggling under her weight, Brittany playfully pushed her away. "I am not."
She was still staring wide-eyed. "No seriously, B. That's perfect." Faster than she even expected out of herself, Santana hopped off the bed and stood up. "We have to get to school. C'mon get up."
Brittany blushed. "You know you're naked right?"
Santana slapped at the air. "Like it matters. Seriously, up. We need to tell her before school starts."
The bed creaked as Brittany sat up against her dark headboard. Santana watched her look at the clock again. "We have a few more minutes."
Santana grinned and leaned over the edge of the bed. "Let's go," she said.
Just like she had expected, and even wanted to happen, Brittany grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back into the bed. She snuggled into Brittany's neck and wrapped her right arm around her body, settling in on her hip firmly.
"You still have makeup on," Brittany said.
Santana wiped at her cheeks. "There wasn't much time to clean my face before we got into bed last night. Someone was a little over eager."
Brittany ignored her but she could still detect the smirk in her voice. "You know, we're kind of like West Side Story."
"How?"
"You're like a Shark, and I'm like a Jet. And we shouldn't be together. But we are because we love each other."
Santana's head burrowed deeper against Brittany's chest. "W-why shouldn't we be together?" Hearing Brittany say that hurt her a little. It reinforced the idea she had been holding on to since they got together.
Brittany must have caught herself and realized the implication of what she had said. "No, sorry, I didn't mean we shouldn't be together. I just meant that other people don't want us to be together. Cause it messes with how they think things should be. Does that make sense?"
She nodded. "Yeah, it does." The only way Santana could make herself feel better was by focusing on the second half of what she said. "But we love each other, so it doesn't matter."
Brittany kissed the top of her head. "Exactly."
"I fail to see how this is my problem," Sue said.
Santana tapped Brittany's hip with her finger. She wanted Brittany to take credit for the idea. It was hers after all.
"Coach, you want to destroy Mr. Schue, right?" Sue nodded. "Well, this way, Ms. Corcoran would take over all glee duties. He would be gone. A-And you wouldn't have anything to worry about anymore."
Sue tapped a pen against her chin. "And all you need are a couple of Cheerio's?"
Santana nodded. "Come on coach, it's not that big of a deal. Brittany, Quinn and I were all in glee and on the squad and we still took National's for you easily."
"And where is Q now, Santana?" Brittany and Santana were speechless, waiting for Sue's decision. Finally, she dropped her pen and nodded. "Eight girls. Pick them yourselves. But so help me, if this in any way interferes with my National title, I'm taking you two down with me. Understand?"
They both grinned and nodded. "Thanks, Coach," they said in unison.
"Get out of my office," she commanded.
Xx
The Cheerio locker room was buzzing with anticipation. Brittany and Santana stood on the wooden bench separating the sets of lockers and were scanning the collection of girl's, deciding who to recruit.
"What the hell is this Santana?" One of the junior girls, Rebecca, demanded.
Santana glared at her heatedly. "Shut you're stupid mouth Rebecca. I'm here under Sue's orders, and you'll wait until I'm ready to tell you. Got it?"
"Whatever."
"Excuse me?" Santana stepped down the bench, closer to the stubborn Cheerio.
"Whatever, Captain?"
"That's better," Santana said, "dumb bitch." The girl scoffed and moved to the back of the crowd.
Brittany called her over. "I've got four."
"Me too." Santana smiled.
Clearing her throat, Brittany yelled, "Alright. Holly, Jennifer, Liz, and Michelle. See me over there." She pointed to the far end of the room and they all nodded at her.
Santana followed her lead. "Larissa, Debbie, Amy, and Heather, other side of the room. The rest of you can get the hell out of here."
Even though they didn't know what the special assignment was, most of the girls hung their head in disappointment as they exited the room. Santana laughed at the scowl Rebecca gave her before following her friends out the door.
Santana walked behind Brittany to the end of the room where the indicated all of their teammates to gather and stood in front of them. Brittany had picked a few of their strongest dancers while Santana picked girls she knew had a lot of energy and enthusiasm. A lot of them made her sick most of the time, but when it came to performing, she knew they were the best to have on her side.
Brittany smiled at all of them and clapped her hands together. "The new math teacher, Ms. Corcoran, is setting up an all female glee club."
"The Troubletones," Santana filled in.
"And you are all going to audition."
A few of their hands shot up into the air and Brittany nodded towards the tall brunette, Michelle. "I thought you said this was Sue's orders?"
"It is," Santana told them, "we're trying to get Mr. Schue fired. If we make Shelby's club look better, Figgins will see how useless he is."
"But what if some of us can't sing," Holly asked with her hand raised.
Brittany shook her head. "It doesn't matter. You'll learn. Ms. Corcoran already has an assignment set up so we can show you guys how it's done."
"What kind of an assignment," Michelle asked.
"We're going to compete against the New Directions in a little sing-off." Santana smirked. "And besides, don't worry about how you sound. All you have to do is sing back up and look good. We'll," she shrugged towards Brittany, "handle the rest."
A gallery of smiles sprung up on the girls in front of them and Santana looked at Brittany. She quirked an eyebrow. 'We definitely have a chance now,' Brittany's sparking eyes reflected agreement.
The choir room had felt divided before. Brittany remembered it wasn't the first time the New Directions sat on the far side, closer to the band, while foreign bodies occupied the rest of the chairs. Last time it was football players. This time it was cheerleaders. And Brittany hadn't accidentally wandered to the wrong side like last time. She was there by choice.
She was a little surprised by the sense of longing she felt being in the same room as all her closest friends again. It's not like she hadn't just seen them the night before after their Sunday matinee. But the separation laid heavier with Shelby on her right side, blocking them from seeing her face. 'I could lean back,' she thought. But Santana's arm lay heavily on the back of her chair and would feel if she made any effort to look.
"Why are they here?" Finn demanded angrily. She wanted to throw something at him. Like a pencil or a rock. She was sick of his voice already and he had just opened his mouth.
Mr. Schuester walked to the front of the room and motioned for Shelby to join him. She stood up from her chair and descended the steps to meet him. Brittany was happy her seat was empty and she could now get a better look at the New Directions. Rachel was sitting closer to Finn than she had ever before and Brittany easily understood what it meant. Her stomach clenched when she saw Quinn watching them alertly, clearly knowing as well as she did what had Rachel practically in Finn's lap. Kurt waved at Mercedes incessantly, desperately seeking her forgiveness for whatever had her ignoring him. When she looked back, Brittany saw Mercedes was more focused on what the adults at the front of the room were saying and decided it might have been better for her to pay attention as well.
"—and we thought it might help our newer members," Shelby said, "to see how it's done. By watching you, and then competing on their own."
"This is garbage," Finn complained, "its all Cheerio's. Sue's behind this, she's just trying to ruin our club again."
Santana's voice rang out through the room. "Why? You don't think you're doing a good enough job of that yourself, Sasquatch?"
"Lay off, Santana," Finn warned, "you're just bitter Mr. Schue kicked you out."
Brittany nervously watched her hands clench. "So I could join an even better team that actually has talent."
"Something you never brought to the New Directions," he mocked.
"Please. Tell that to all your solo's," she paused, "or wait, I think I mean, Blaine's solos. Must hurt to lose all of that attention to a transfer kid. Kind of like losing that scholarship." A few of the cheerleaders snickered at him, knowing she was talking about Shane getting picked up by Ohio State for football.
"Shut up, Santana." Finn was pissed. Rachel started rubbing his back comfortingly and scowled back at them.
Everyone was silent except for Santana, who laughed until she was interrupted by Mr. Schuester. "Enough you guys. We're not fighting anymore. You're all friends."
"Okay," Santana said sarcastically. Brittany grabbed her thigh and squeezed, urging her to stop before one of them got carried away.
"New Directions have one day to rehearse, they're going tomorrow. Troubletones we have two, and we're going Wednesday," Shelby said.
"Mash-off everybody," Mr. Schuester tried cheerfully but everyone just looked at each other strangely; especially the Cheerio's.
Students were lined up outside of the ballet boxes back to the edge of the gym. After the speeches, they were set up and everyone at the assembly fell into line to cast their votes. Brittany and Santana stood at the head of the crowd, handing out final mementos and threats (mostly from Santana) about voting for Brittany. Rachel stood with Finn and Kurt off to the side against the folded up bleachers and watched the crowd warily.
Taking her name out of the running put the odds a little farther in Kurt's favor but she knew compared to Brittany, it was a long shot. Rachel had to slap at Kurt's hand to stop him from biting his nails anxiously. "You still have a chance, you know?" she said encouragingly.
"Don't really think I can compete with topless-Tuesdays," he admitted dully.
Finn frowned. "That would probably make people vote against you." Rachel glared at him. "It doesn't matter dude, you'll be fine."
"Trust me, Kurt, you're going to win. I can feel it," Rachel smiled. She had a plan. Kurt did deserve to win after all. As often as they fought, she wanted him at NYADA with her. And she would do whatever it took to make it happen. Her purse felt heavy will all the slips of paper she had spent most of her history class folding. Kurt was going to win.
"Don't be so sure about that," Santana argued from behind them. Brittany stood next to her, arms crossed and smiling.
"Good luck, Kurt," she said sincerely. Kurt returned the smile half-heartedly and he nodded.
"You too Britt," he said.
Rachel could feel Finn tense up and turn away the second Santana stepped closer. "What's wrong Grimace?" Santana asked him rudely.
"Santana please don't," Rachel pleaded. She didn't want another fight to break out like it had during glee practice. Santana was pushing a line, and she knew Finn wouldn't control it much longer.
"Alright, Hobbit. I'll leave him alone," Santana said, "If he admits that I'm better than him." She smirked and Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Santana can we just go?" Brittany asked nervously.
Finn was still ingoring them, focused on watching people enter an exit the polls. Sensing she had an ally for peace, Rachel spoke up, "Please? Just go."
"Fine." Santana crossed her arms and walked away.
Rachel smiled at Brittany as she passed and turned back to Finn. "You okay?"
Finn thrust his arms out in front of him. "I'm so sick of her. God, what the hell did I ever do that she treats me like such shit?"
"It's just Santana," Kurt said.
"I just don't understand why no one ever says anything to her." He pouted. "She just gets to act like a bitch and no one cares."
Kurt and Rachel exchanged glances and chose to just ignore it. They both knew a little bit more about Santana than Finn did and it was nothing he needed to know. Although on a few occasions, he had mentioned to Rachel a few insights on Brittany and Santana's 'friendship' that made him seem a lot less stupid than everyone thought he was. But she never made an attempt to dispel or encourage his guesses and did then as she always did; shrugged.
"I think you need to apologize to Finn," Brittany stated softly to her on the car ride home. After the first Troubletones practice, Mercedes had suggested they do an Adele mash-up with her and Santana singing lead. Brittany had assessed the Cheerio's dancing skills and discussed a plan for choreography with Shelby. Santana had a lot of confidence that they would be winning the competition. With the combination of hers and Mercedes' voices, and Brittany's dancing, New Directions didn't stand a chance.
"Why should I?" she asked irately. She didn't owe Finn anything.
"All you're doing is trying to make him feel bad. What's the point of that?" Brittany asked, toying with the edge of her skirt. Santana guessed she was trying to not offend her or cause a fight.
"Like he makes you feel bad? Or makes Rachel feel bad. Or Quinn?" she said factually. "He gets away with it. I'm just giving him a taste of his own medicine."
"But it's that gross cough syrup medicine that makes you even sicker."
She knew what Brittany was implying. That fighting with Finn only made things worse between their friends and that it didn't accomplish anything. "What do you want from me, Brittany?" she asked. They turned on Brittany's street and drove down it slowly. Santana wanted to give her time if she wanted to keep talking.
"I want you to apologize." The slowed to a stop in front of Brittany's house and Santana put the car in park. When she looked up, Brittany was staring at her expectantly, but with an encouraging smile. Brittany was too sweet to understand why Finn pissed her off so much. She didn't see that she was just getting even for everyone else in her life whose lives he made hell. If she were being honest, most of it stemmed from his attack on Brittany's election the week before. She was just protecting her from his ignorant remarks like she had been doing with everyone else their whole lives. Just because Finn was their "friend" didn't make him an exception to the rule.
"I don't want to. I'm not apologizing when I don't think I've done anything wrong."
Brittany grabbed her hand. "Fine, then apologize because I asked you to."
Santana groaned. "That's not fair."
"Who said I was fair?" Brittany smirked and squeezed her hand.
"Whatever," Santana said and looked out the window.
Brittany tugged her hand to get her attention. "Excuse me?" she mocked Santana earlier.
"Whatever, I'll apologize to him. God." Santana used their linked hands to pull Brittany across the console of her car and kissed her. "I'll talk to him at lunch tomorrow."
"Good." Brittany grinned and reattached their lips briefly. "See you tomorrow morning."
"You're a pain," Santana told her, kissing her one more time. "Bye."
Xx
Santana spent most of the day dreading her lunch period. She wanted to spend it sitting with Brittany and Mercedes, going over their mash-up and talking mindlessly about the day. But when the bell finally rang in Spanish, Brittany looked at her once and she understood what it meant immediately. "Good luck," Brittany said. Santana nodded and left the room, searching the halls for Finn.
Apologizing hadn't really ever been her strong suit. She didn't ever really see the effect of apologizing; if she had said something, she meant it. If it weren't for Brittany, half of the apologies she had given in her life wouldn't have happened. Even if you didn't factor in that most of them were actually to Brittany.
In the main intersection of the school, the front entrance on one side and the gymnasium on the other, Santana saw Finn talking excitedly to Rory. She rolled her eyes. 'Of course we'll have an audience,' she thought, walking up to them.
"Finn can I talk to you?" Santana started weakly.
Rory closed in on her immediately, blocking Finn. "You can't trash talk Finn again—"
"Can you back off, Irish? I'm trying to apologize to the great white whale this time, alright?" Rory retreated a few steps and she looked up at a very displeased Finn again. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. For attacking you and saying you won't win anything." Finn's frown disappeared for just a second. Then, she continued, "It's not your fault Blaine's a better singer and the only person who's going to notice you were replaced is you." She was pretty sure this was not how an apology sounded, but she couldn't help the words streaming effortlessly out of her mouth. "It's not your fault Shane has more talent in one arm than you do in every flabby limb on your body. I'm sorry that there's nothing about you, other than your freakish height that helps you stand out. I'm sorry that your life is going nowhere and the Troubletones are going to crush you at Sectionals further diminishing any hope of making something out of your pathetic life."
Any instinct to apologize drifted away and Santana chose to lay it on thick, hoping he would get the message and finally realize that she would always be better than him. "Keep a good hold on that girlfriend of yours, 'cause some day she's going to realize all you're doing, besides holding her purse, is holding her back. She used to be the loser, but you know who the real loser is now?" She smirked. "You."
Santana held her head defiantly. Brittany wasn't going to be happy but that didn't trump her sense of satisfaction. If Rory's face was any indication, she had settled it once and for all. She walked away with a triumphant smirk, knowing she had won.
"Hey, Santana. Why don't you just come out of the closet?"
Her feet stopped moving. People were staring at her. Every eye in the hallway turned to her; even if they were smart enough to keep walking. Quinn could have out-ed her. Rachel could have out-ed her. Even Brittany could have out-ed her. But Finn Hudson? For some reason, nothing seemed worse than standing at the opposite side of the long hallway feeling every admission of her own fall from his lips like a string of profanities. Her struggles, her fears, were put on display for anyone who cared to listen as Finn broadcasted them out into the full hallway. She didn't have to look to sense the Cheerio standing a few feet away, not daring to move for fearing of missing a single second from his attack, listening in attentively.
"You come after me for tearing other people down, when you've done the same exact thing every day you've been here and worse. Maybe other people are afraid of you, and don't understand why you do it, but we all know why you act the way you do." His loud steps echoed up from the floor directly into her ears when he walked a few steps closer. "You're scared."
Santana trembled. She tried to tell herself it wasn't real. That she had just stumbled into a deep slumber during math where she had the pleasure of ripping Finn a new one. The heaviness in her chest told her otherwise. Even in her worst nightmares, she could still breathe.
"You're scared because you're in love with Brittany, and you know there's no way she'll always love you back. You know that she's not going to stick around if you try and hide her forever. Because she's too good for you."
The chilling blood coursed through her stiff limbs. His threatening voice pierced her quivering frame, the shivering unnoticeable to the students passing by. She stood rooted to the ground, wishing it would just end, like a root canal, or one of Rachel's rants. Only it was worse. Finn was breaking her down, word by word, and he just wouldn't stop.
"You know what I think you are?" He got closer. Santana didn't know what to do. Run maybe. Turn around and hit him. Anything seemed better than what she was doing; nothing.
Finn's voice softened. She didn't understand why he was being so gentle when he answered his own question, "A coward."
He was right. She was a coward. If Brittany hadn't pushed her into a corner and demanded her feelings, they wouldn't be together. Brittany would have come out to the entire school at a moment's notice if Santana asked her to. But Santana knew she couldn't do that if the tables were reversed. She was too afraid. Somewhere along the line her image became more important than how she felt about herself. What was the point in standing up to Finn if everything he said was true? That's why she kept quiet. Everything he said, she deserved. So she took it all and felt every word burrow deep under her skin. And it all made sense. She wasn't brave like Brittany. She knew she never even would be. Finn just took the time to point it all out.
"I'll see you at the mash-off." Finn's squeaking sneakers trailed away from her and exited the hallway.
She couldn't figure out why she couldn't move. He was gone, and the torture was over, but there she was, feet glued to the spot. Part of her was still convinced it was a dream, but the other part was afraid of what awaited her outside that hallway. Santana knew someone must've heard. There were too many people for someone not to. The idea of waiting the rest of the day at school for someone to bring it up was too painful to deal with. So forcing her legs to work, giving curse words of encouragement, Santana shuffled towards the exit. A bell rang over her head as she pushed through the door, and walked down the front steps. Stifled breaths caught in her throat and the prickling tears boiled around the edges of her eyes. She tried once to take a deep rush of air straight into her lungs, and choked when she couldn't swallow.
The line of cars lead back into the far stretch of parking lot. Santana tried to remember where she parked but couldn't put the image together completely. She settled for following the train of vehicles, running the tips of her fingers over the hoods, convinced it was the only way she could focus, until she traced the familiar maroon dents in her own car. She never locked it, bringing a piece of her parent's life into her own, and opened the door.
The commotion of slamming it shut stirred the commotion inside her head and the tears broke through. She wrapped her arms around herself, digging her fingers in around her ribcage and squeezing. She couldn't remember breathing every hurting so much. Her legs bent up in front of her, feet resting on the seat, and she buried her face between her thighs. Santana tried to curl up inside herself, begging to hold the pieces together. She could tell it wasn't working.
A/N: Thanks for reading:) Please review. I really want to know what you guys thought of this chapter, and same goes for the next one (when it's actually posted) I'll have part two up in a couple days.