Stef bent down, in front of the brand new gas grill that she had bought when they had bought the new apartment. The moment she had found out they had a roof top garden she wanted a grill, she had ordered it, set it up and today was the first time she would get a change to use it.

She got it working and watched it warm up,

Lena walked out, with a tray of meat, including Steak and chicken. She smiled when she saw that Stef had souces and glazes for the meats.

"You're really prepared here aren't you?" Lena said as she put the meat into a special chilled shelve on the grill.

"Yeah, my dad used to do grill days when he was alive. We'd go to the station and this is how I remember it. which means this is how I'm going to do it." Stef said smiling.

"Good, I want you do it whatever way you want." Lena smiled.

"Thank you,"

"What for?" Lena asked, looking at her woman, her eyebrow raised.

"Letting me do this the way I want to do it," Stef's voice was soft.

Lena smiled, she knew that she'd never been able to do what she wanted to do.

"It's my pleasure. Have you got all your grill tools?" Lena asked,

Stef looked at the table beside which had everything laid out,

"I think we just need the plates and bread but we won't bring them out till we start cooking,"

"Do you need salad?"

"Yeah we can get salad going, some tomato, onions Oh do we have red onion? Stef asked as they went into the house and Lena opened the fridge and started talking out all the salad item. Stef took out a wooden serving plate.

Lena grinned watching Stef as she chopped red onion, tomatoes, lettuce

"Honey do we have burger sauce?" Stef asked as she neatly put out the salad for the burgers.

"Yes baby, I've made homemade burger sauce," Lena was enjoying seeing this side of her girlfriend.

"Excellent."

"You love doing this,"

"I love to grill, I've not done it in years."

"Have fun with it baby," Lena laughed, as She watched Stef finishing up her salad.

"I will," Stef smiled before heading out onto roof top garden.

Lena watched her and smiled. she loved this side to her woman. she was claim and relaxed. Stef was wearing plaid shirt, tucked into a nice pair of jeans, her new vans on her feet. Her short hair spiked up, it looked messy but styled. Sun glasses on as it was sunny, her sleeves rolled up. she was wearing a nice watch as well as two bracelets along with her engagement ring.

Lena put the wine into the fridge as the doorbell rang out. Lena smiled before looking on the new camera, seeing her friends she clicked for them to come up. this was there evening.

Blog name: Better_Version

Followers: 6,971,115

New Post: Evening with L's friends.

Our apartment has been rocking this evening. It's amazing too me. I've managed to be quiet when I've wanted to be. I've cooked on my new grill,

Which by the way is amazing. it's got a warmer shelf. Plus a cooling one. It's great. Best money I ever spent.

I've had a chat with one of L's friends. They are feeling me out. they want to know if I'm the best person to be with L. I know they are not bad people. They make a lost o noise.

Our apartment has never been so noisy. There was laughter.

There was a lot of wine, beer, and food.

I've got to know these women. I've managed to sit with my woman, listen to the stories. laugh.

I wasn't 100 per cent relaxed. These people are new to me. I'm not really into new people but these people are L's friends.

The apartment is quiet now.

L is sleeping.

I can't sleep. I've had a couple of bad dreams. I don't want to wake L.

Sometimes El haunts my sleep. She haunts my day.

I know she's gone. I know she can't hurt me anymore.

She haunts my mind.

I want it to end.

I know deep in my heart that what El did has lead to me to this place.

L is my world now. Her friends are lovely people. I know I was quiet and I know that I'm just nervous around new people.

I want a quiet wedding.

I'd be happy if it as just me and L. but I know that's not going to be possible. my Mom, L's Mom and Dad and L herself won't let that happen.

I've got to get used to be around more people.

I'm still shocked I can leave the apartment, that I have money in my bank account. I'm able to buy things, I don't have to ask permission.

I can chose to do what I want.

Right now I want to make L happy.

She's my life.

Yet the reason I want the nightmares to stop, the pain to stop, the horror in my head to stop. Is for ME! ME.

I MATTER!