ChloeNaomiTokyo: Me too, I often write scenes with those two because I just love it so much. Thanks so much, I did quite enjoy writing the shopping scene.

Bluebell140: Me too. Let's hope so.

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Does it scare you?"

Gem was sat in the back of the car, her head in a magazine that she'd bought at the last minute. Iain sat in the front, his hands clasping the steering wheel. He eyed Gem up in his rearview mirror and sighed, before running a hand through his hair. He looked towards the small house that they were parked outside. Lily was inside and he hoped that she was okay.

"What?" He then asked his sister.

"Lily," Gem said. "The fact that she doesn't eat, that she doesn't like who she is, and that she needs counselling. Doesn't it scare you?"

"A bit," Iain said. "She's going to be my wife, isn't she? I love her and I care about her, and I don't want to see her end up in hospital again. She's getting there, slowly though."

"Oh yeah?" Gem scoffed. "When was the last time that she ate?"

"For your information, Mrs Beauchamp told me that she ate something on their shopping trip," Iain said. "You can't expect her to go onto eating big, full-blown meals straight away. It's going to take time and yes, I'm scared and it upsets me, but I just have to be there as much as I possibly can."

"What did she eat?" Gem asked.

"A pot of fruit," Iain said. "Why?"

"So, she's obviously sticking to the healthy stuff then," Gem sighed. "It's Christmas soon," she stated the complete obvious.

"I know." Iain subtly rolled his eyes and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Which is why she's getting in as many counselling sessions as possible. Christmas is a tough time for people with Anorexia."

He looked back towards the building and noticed that Lily was just exiting. She didn't appear to be smiling though.

"Shut up now," he whispered, as Lily opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. "How did it go?" Iain asked her.

"I don't want to talk about it," Lily whispered, as she strapped herself in. "Can we just go home?"

Iain loved the way that Lily referred to his place as 'home.' They hadn't officially moved in together but Lily had been staying with him, mainly because everyone was so scared of leaving her by herself.

"If you want, we can talk when we get home," Iain sighed, turning on the engine.

"I don't want to, Iain," Lily whined. "It was a counselling appointment, she made me feel as if there was something wrong with me, and I just couldn't wait to get out of there."

"Counsellors aren't supposed to make you feel like that," Iain said, as he drove away.

"You don't think I know that?" Lily snapped and held a hand to her forehead.

"I'm sure loads of people have bad sessions," Iain said, indicating to turn right. "Next week should be better."

"I doubt it," Lily muttered under her breath, resting her head against the glass before slowly closing her eyes.

As soon as they returned home, Lily announced that she needed to use the bathroom and went and shut the door behind her without another word. She slid down the door with tears rolling down her cheeks and hugged her knees to her chest.

She wished that she was normal. She wished that she was able to maintain a normal relationship, but she wasn't able to, because she was unable to eat and she needed counselling. Iain deserved someone way better.

"What are you moping about?"

Lily wiped her nose on her sleeve and looked up to see Alicia sitting on the closed toilet seat.

"Go away," she spat. "I thought I was finally rid of you."

"Don't you understand, Lily? You'll never be rid of me, especially during times of sulking."

"I'm not sulking," she sobbed. "Just leave me alone, Alicia. Please. My day's bad enough without you sticking your nose in."

"Have you seen the state of you? You're an absolute mess! Thought you would have been a bit more sane after coming out of hospital, but clearly not."

"You're the reason I ended up in hospital!" Lily yelled, and she prayed that Iain and Gem couldn't hear her.

She stood up and dragged herself over to the sink, so that she could look at herself in the mirror. She looked disgusting and huge bags sat under her eyes. She could still feel Alicia watching her from the toilet seat, as her fingers curled around one of Iain's razors.

"Just do it. You might as well."

Lily went to say something but as she turned her body, she saw that Alicia had disappeared. Lily began to cry harder as she lifted the razor to her wrist. The dark thoughts had returned to her brain and she couldn't get them out, no matter how hard she tried. She held the blade to her wrist, clenched her teeth together, and dragged. The razor dropped to the floor and she had to try to stop herself from screaming out in pain. She could see blood through the gaps in her fingers, and even though she was a doctor, the sight still made her feel sick.

There was a knock on the door.

"Lily?" Gem called. "Is everything okay? Iain's worried."

"I...I'm fine," Lily sobbed, leaning back against the sink whilst cradling her wrist. "Just leave me alone."

"You've been in here for an awful long time," Gem said. "Can I come in?"

"No," Lily whimpered, but the door clicked open anyway. "I said no."

"Iain's worried about you," Gem said. "He just asked if I could come and check on you. What's wrong?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders and whispered, "Nothing."

"Don't give me that," Gem said and nodded at Lily's wrist. "What's happened?"

Lily gulped and tears continued to flow down her cheeks at full speed. She shakily removed her hand and revealed the bloody cut on her wrist, causing Gem's eyes to widen with alarm. She raced over and grabbed a cloth that was hanging over the bath, soaking it under some water so that she could press it against the wound.

"What did you do?" She accused, immediately assuming that Lily had done it herself.

"I'm sorry," Lily apologised. "I just...I had to."

"Why?" Gem asked, removing some of the cloth so that she could see if the bleeding had stopped. "That looks really bad, Lils," she hissed. "I'm going to have to get Iain, alright?"

"Please don't," Lily cried, shaking her head at her. "He'll be angry. Gem, you can't tell him."

"I need to," Gem said. "He loves you, Lily. He isn't going to be angry. Just keep that on there for me, and I'll go and get him. It'll be fine, I promise."

She gave her a brief hug and stroked her hair, before exiting the bathroom. Lily heard her calling Iain's name, as she kept the wet cloth on her wrist. It stung like mad, and it was still bleeding as well. She soon heard the sound of footsteps, and Iain stormed straight in.

"I'm sorry," Lily cried.

"Don't," Iain whispered and perched on the edge of the bath, bringing Lily in for a hug. "We'll have none of that. Let me have a look."

Lily looked to Gem who'd now returned and removed the cloth from her wrist.

"We'll get it cleaned up in no time," Iain sighed. "And then we're going to snuggle up on the sofa and watch a movie. How does that sound?"

Lily nodded against him and she managed a small smile, but it all seemed too good to be true. Why wasn't Iain shouting at her? Why wasn't he telling her what a screw up she was? Why wasn't he telling her to leave and that he never wanted to see her again? She didn't understand.

"I told you that you had nothing to worry about," Gem said, as Iain cleaned up Lily's wound. "My brother can be amazing when he wants to be."

"I remember having to keep a lot of Gem's secrets when she was younger," Iain chuckled. "There were so many things that she didn't want mum to know about, but I kept every single one of them, didn't I?"

Gem nodded.

"However," Iain sighed. "I may have to tell Mrs Beauchamp about this."

"Why?" Lily asked, but her voice was so dry and quiet that it was a struggle to hear her. "I..." She coughed. "I didn't mean to, I just hated myself and I felt upset and I just wanted to get rid of the pain."

"You don't have to explain yourself," Iain whispered and cupped her face in his hands. "But Mrs Beauchamp will ask me how you've been doing, and I can't lie to her. She'll be okay. We can just keep it between the four of us then, no one else needs to know."

"Okay," Lily choked out, as new tears began to fall. "I really am sorry though."

"I know," Iain said, planting a loving kiss on her forehead. "I'm glad Gem came to tell me. I don't like the thought of you hurting yourself Lily, and if you ever feel like it again, you need to tell me."

"It was just the one time," she sobbed. "I promise."

"It's just in case," Iain said and kissed her again. "I love you. I'll get this cut cleaned and wrapped up, and then we'll put a film on. What do you fancy?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders, and looked back towards Gem. In a way, she felt lucky to have them both there. She could recognise the look on Gem's face though, and she looked absolutely terrified of what she'd just walked in on. Lily felt awful and imagined what would have happened if Gem hadn't come to find her.

Who would have found her, dying in a pool of her own blood? Iain or Gem? Neither one of them would have been able to cope and Lily hated to think that she was causing harm or upset to the people who she loved the most.

"Could we watch a Superhero film?" Lily asked Iain. "Batman, maybe?"

"Really?" Iain frowned in confusion, as he mopped away the blood. "I have no problem with that, but it's not really your sort of thing."

"I know," Lily replied and forced a smile. "But I've put you through so much and you've done more than enough to help me. I would like to return the favour."

"You don't have to," Iain said. "You're going through a tough time at the moment and I love you."

Hearing that made Lily's heart melt, and she hoped that he meant it.

"I know I don't have to," Lily said. "But I would really like to."

Thank you so much for 100 reviews, guys! They really mean a lot to me and I'm incredibly happy to have your love and support. Thank you so much!

So I hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway. I'm not quite sure when this story will be ending, as I want to focus on the aftermath of the section and the full recovery afterwards, so I guess I'll just see where it takes me. I'm trying my best not to make the story too repetitive and I really hope that it isn't, but what I'm writing just seems realistic to in my opinion.

I hope you all had a super lovely Christmas x