Dear readers,
So this is the penultimate chapter before my two-week break, and it involves my imagining of the conversation between Kurt, Rachel and Santana that led to the latter staying as neither of the former looked thrilled at the idea, and leaves off just before Valentine's Day and ready to run into my re-working of that episode. There's just one thing I want to mention: somewhere near the end, I refer to a guy called "Luke" - he's Adam's best friend and roommate, and he's a member of the Adam's Apples - and in my head, he's the Apple played by Joey Richter because...well, he was in Glee so I decided to give him a character, who you'll meet, and see more of, later on in the story. Okay, other than that, I just want to say thank you for all the support you've given this story (it has over 200 reviews - that makes me so happy!) and, of course:
Enjoy!
Sopphires.
"Friendship – my definition – is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble." ― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
"You're moving in?" echoed Rachel as Kurt stared at her in shock, wondering what on earth had made her think that she could just turn up at their apartment and announce that she was now going to be living with them because, yes, they were friends, and she was actually a very good, fiercely protective one, but Kurt wasn't entirely sure he wanted to live with Santana given that she was something best served in small doses.
"Yes," said Santana, eyebrows arching and silently demanding whether or not they were idiots and so whether they would need that repeated any more times. Kurt rolled his eyes, sliding the door shut before facing Santana with his hands on his hips, stern expression on his face that said that they were about to have a serious conversation about this, and there was no foregone conclusion. He saw Santana roll her eyes and notched up the look into a glare.
"Okay, firstly, why are you here? I thought you were at college in Louisville so what are you doing here? Is this a short-term move, or do you have plans to stay here for a long time?" Rachel gave him annoyed glare that told him to stop talking about the situation like she was allowed to stay. Kurt held up a hand, though, to stop her, arching an eyebrow at Santana instead and insisting that he have an answer. Santana rolled her eyes, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"I dropped out of college," she stated bluntly, and Kurt frowned, shooting a sideways look at Rachel that showed him that she was also confused about why Santana had stopped doing something she was so good at. "I hated it; everyone there was stupid and mean – it was like a bitchier version of McKinley, if that's possible, and graduating meant getting away from a place like that; not getting into a worse one." Kurt arched his eyebrows a little at the prospect of that, silently admitting that if he was in a place like that then he would get out if he could.
"Okay," said Rachel, seemingly accepting that reason for leaving college. "why are you here in New York?" Santana rolled her eyes, flicking her hair once more and straightening up so she looked down on Rachel.
"'Cause you and Porcelain over there aren't the only two with dreams and aspirations." Kurt bit down on the inside of his lip, again having to admit that he completely understood what Santana was saying and why she had come because that was precisely why he'd left Lima and come to stay with Rachel in New York.
"Alright," he said, taking over the interrogation once more. "why did you come here?" Santana arched her eyebrows in a way that demanded if he really needed to ask that. Then she rolled her eyes again.
"Well, as annoying as you both are, we are friends; bonded together by song and dance and all that jazz." Kurt rolled his eyes, meeting Rachel's gaze and wondering whether they really could turn away a friend when she was all alone in New York with nowhere else to go to because Santana was smart and self-confident and all the rest, but it was a big, bustling, mostly indifferent world out there, and there was no telling whether she could find a safe, secure place to stay at night because she was Santana, and she was beautiful to say the least, and well, men could be self-indulgent bastards.
"The thing is," began Rachel as Kurt remained silent, weighing it all up in his mind, and Santana wore a self-satisfied smirk that said she thought she had won. "well..." she sighed, and Santana sent her a condescending look that said she knew Rachel had no reason for turning her away. Rachel scowled. "Remember, it's not just us; Brody is here now, and-"
"Oh, please," said Santana scathingly. "we're talking about your plastic boyfriend here; he's got no opinions, and the last time I was here I saw you still had plenty of room, and you both owe me a favour for talking the Dwarf out of discovering that no one in the world is interested in her minuscule breasts." Kurt rolled her eyes as Rachel spluttered in indignation, crossing her arms and sending a furious glare at Santana, and then decided it would probably be a good idea for him to intervene.
"Okay," he said, firmly, putting out his hands to indicate that said he would prevent any sort of cat-fight from developing. "let's just say, theoretically, that we said yes, and you stayed with us – because we can say yes or no – would you be able to a pay share of all the bills and such?" Santana sighed in an exasperated manner but then nodded.
"Yes, I am capable of paying my way. I have no intention of sitting on the sofa and turning into a lardarse with whale blubber." Kurt blinked, eyebrows arching once more as he attempted to imagine an obese Santana and was disturbed by the image that his mind conjured up. Rachel shuddered a little. Before they could move on from that thought, the door slid open, and Brody walked in, carrying two shopping bags and kicking the door shut in a manner Kurt hated because it banged loudly and rebounded so it needed to be closed again.
"Hey, I got the eggs and milk and bread, but I couldn't find any-" Brody broke off, noting Santana's presence as he straightened up and looked properly into the room. There was a moment of awkward silence in which Santana stared down the older boy with her famous glare, Rachel pursed her lips and Kurt arched in eyebrow, amazed by how long it had taken Brody to notice that Santana was there. The Junior shuffled his feet a little. "Um, hey!" he exclaimed. "Are you visiting again? Oh, please tell me there's not another intervention going on," he said, turning to Rachel and Kurt with a look that said he was astounded by their ability to bicker seriously so soon after they made up. Kurt rolled his eyes as Rachel sighed and shook her head.
"No," she denied, firmly. "Santana wants to move in." Kurt watched as Brody took in the rather frosty tone to her voice that said she was not overly happy with that prospect and then looked around at the other two friends.
"Okay..." he said, eventually. "Well, I'm going to put the shopping away before the perishables spoil, then I will go and do something else..." he muttered, trailing off and darting towards the fridge in a manner that said he wanted to escape the intensity of Santana's glare, and Kurt couldn't blame him for that. There was a moment of silence before Rachel opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by her own phone.
"Bare with," she said, grabbing her phone from where it rested, and Kurt and Santana rolled their eyes as one. "Oh," she whispered, eyes going wide as she scanned the message before her. Kurt arched his eyebrows.
"Rachel, everything okay?" he asked. Rachel held up a hand as her other fingers flew across the screen, presumably tapping out a message in response. Then Rachel looked up, and there was something slightly panicked about her expression that made Kurt frown. She tucked her hair behind her ears, and Kurt could see the indecision radiating off her.
"Yeah..." she said, slowly. Kurt frowned some more, silently demanding to know what the message had said, and what she'd said back in response too. Rachel bit down on her bottom lip. "Well, um, you see..." Before Kurt could garner an adequate response, his own phone buzzed. Kurt pulled it out of his pocket and looked at Finn's message:
Hey, Kurt, hope everything's going alright! I thought that I'd give you the heads up that Blaine's a finalist for NYADA. I know nothing's certain at all, but I thought you might want to know. He seemed pretty happy about it too. Sorry if this was, you know, not a good thing to do.-Finn
Kurt looked back up at Rachel, biting down on the inside of his lip and trying to keep his emotions locked tightly beneath his mask. He narrowed at his eyes slightly and guessed that she had received the news just a little bit before Kurt himself had and had been attempting to work out how to break it to him.
"Finn or Blaine?" he asked, head tilting to the side. Rachel frowned for a moment before sighing.
"Blaine," she admitted. "he just said that he was a NYADA finalist, and I congratulated him for that and offered him advice if he ever needed it..." she said the last part in a tentative manner that said she was unsure what his reaction would be to that. Kurt sighed a little, not entirely sure what his reaction was either. The rational part of his mind was telling him that there was no reason to have any reaction to the situation other than admiration for Blaine's talent and all, but he also knew that that was bullshit. He had to admit that he was anxious and worried to whatever that might lead to, and that he was angry at Blaine for potentially ruining everything that he had built at NYADA, not to mention feeling slightly betrayed by Rachel's offer of help even though that was idiotic because Rachel was Blaine's friend. Still, he felt aggression and annoyance building up inside of him, rearing its snappish, undesirable head.
"Do you really want to help him come here?" he asked before he could stop himself. Kurt knew that it wasn't his place to say that Blaine didn't deserve to be at NYADA, and it proved that he wasn't over it at all, but the idea of Blaine coming to New York inspired more fear in him than he would ever have imagined when he'd thought about it before because he had finally found something that seemed so stable and good; a close group of friends that he could rely on; steady happiness, and the idea of Blaine coming in and rocking the boat worried him as the idea of another capsize terrified him because what if he drowned this time?
"Yes," said Rachel seriously, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him. "there are things that we know now about NYADA that would have been really useful for us to know when we were auditioning, namely what they're looking for." She gave him a very pointed stare, and Kurt suppressed an eye roll because he knew she was right, but he didn't want to dwell on that right now because he was angry and trying to cover up his paranoid fear.
"So, what? When Blaine comes here you'll just invite him in too, and we'll all be happy again?" he demanded, scathingly. Rachel rolled her eyes, glaring back at him.
"You've been talking about getting over him and putting it all behind you, but can you really say that you're doing that when this is your reaction to it all? If you were over it then you'd never had said it! So why are you lashing out at me?" There was a moment of intense silence between them. Kurt bristled and straightened up, glaring at her, but Rachel softened and relaxed. "Kurt, you need to stop lying to yourself – it won't make you feel better." Kurt felt that her gentle tone of her voice was condescending and patronising, and it aggravated him.
"Look, Rachel, I know you think you know what you're talking about, but you really don't. I'm not lying to myself, and I know that I'm over Blaine. However, though, I'm understandably wary about letting him back in my life and trusting him again, which is something you seem very open to do even though he has proved that he doesn't deserve it!" Rachel's eyebrows leapt up her forehead.
"I'm not saying that, Kurt! I'm not saying everything is going to be like it was in Senior year, or whatever! I'm just saying that I will help him if he needs it in his application for NYADA: that's it!" There was another long silence in which Kurt breathed deeply, trying to retain control, and wondered why this was spiralling out of control.
"Hey, Mannequin Man, where's the popcorn?" Rachel and Kurt looked away from each other, quickly, to see Santana looking at Brody, who had appeared back in the main area at the sound of the argument. "This household just got interesting, and after you fetch me that be a good Ken Doll and use those muscles to put my suitcase away in my room – I can't start unpacking whilst this melodrama is unfolding!" Kurt and Rachel's eyes met across the room, the anger between them evaporating as alarm spread across their features.
"What?!"
"So, she's staying then?" asked Adam, slinging his bag onto his shoulder. Kurt nodded, running a hand through his hair as the other Adam's Apples left from the auditorium, laughing and talking together and bandying about ideas of another epic mash-up, this time of Simon and Garfunkel, and leaving their two current soloists to talk alone.
"Yes, there's absolutely no prospect of getting her out of the house at the present moment so me and Rachel have decided not to waste our energy on that task as it will, undoubtedly, be extraneous." Adam snorted a little.
"I don't doubt that at all. If I learnt anything from you and Rachel is that you Ohio- Ohioions...Ohiens..." he frowned, tilting his head to the side trying to work out what the correct term for people that came from Ohio.
"Ohioans," supplied Kurt. Adam smiled at him in thanks, and the two of them began to walk out of the hall.
"Thanks! Anyway, the point is that I learnt from you and Rachel that you're all insane and stubborn as hell so I'm not at all surprised. I mean, when I was getting to know Rachel I had to try and keep an open mind and not focus on how...weird I thought she was from everything you said!" Kurt snorted, walking through the door ahead of Adam as the older boy held it open for him. "So, are you actually okay with her being there? I mean, there isn't going to be another dramatic diva-off, is there?" Kurt laughed at the disturbed look on his face.
"No, there will be no epic diva-off, I think..." Adam laughed a little at his response, nodding in relief.
"Good, because I don't want you going through what you did with Rachel again; it really cut you up, and you don't need any of that crap." Kurt smiled at him in gratitude, but he also knew what Adam was thinking: Blaine. He sighed, shaking his head a little, and then gestured for Adam to keep talking. The blonde studied him for a moment, carefully analysing him, before he smiled and began to talk again. "So what about Blaine? Because I agree that it's not your place to stop him from doing what he wants, but you shouldn't have to be in situations that make you feel...uncomfortable, especially not if they're avoidable." Kurt shrugged, sighing.
"I don't know. I mean, I think I may just have overreacted to the situation. After all, it's not like we're going to know any time soon whether or not he's coming here – he's not had his audition, and they give you the results so late. Not to mention I'm not sure how his dad'll take it." Adam nodded, sage expression on his face but said nothing and so encouraged Kurt to keep talking. "I just sort of freaked out, I guess, because everything seems to be going really well for me at the moment, and I've not had Blaine on my mind too much, and the idea of him being here seems to put my well-earned happiness in jeopardy...I don't like that feeling, or idea." Adam arched his eyebrows and rolled his eyes.
"Well of course you don't!" he exclaimed. "I don't think anyone would. The point is, are you going to let it get to you?" Kurt shot him a glare that said it wasn't that simple but then relented into a more resigned expression.
"As there's nothing I can do, I'm going to try, but..." he shrugged, pursing his lips. Adam put a hand on his shoulder as they came to a stop in the hallway. He gave him an easy smile that said he was about to give some advice.
"You know, NYADA is a big school, and you are a year above him. I know that the idea of having him around seems to rock the boat, but there isn't actually that much reason to see him." Kurt frowned a little, and Adam smiled a little wider at the fact that Kurt was listening to him. "Take me and Brody for example," he continued. "he's a year below me, and even though we've been involved in the same productions and everything, we've never been anything more than polite acquaintances before I started hanging out with you and Rachel. It can be the same with you and Blaine; you have the same focus in music and dance, just like me and Brody, but that doesn't mean you have to overlap." Kurt frowned, not sure it was the same because Kurt knew Blaine – too well – whereas Adam and Brody had never met. "I know what you're thinking," added Adam, grinning. "but he threw you out so that means he doesn't have the right to hang around with you if you don't want him too; I'm sure Rachel would understand that." Kurt sighed.
"I suppose..." he said in a tone of voice that was unconvinced, not entirely sure that Blaine would consent to that as Kurt had no idea what the Warbler had in mind to do next. Adam patted his shoulder, squeezing tightly a moment later and causing Kurt to smile at him widely just because.
"Don't worry, regardless of that, I am going to do my best to distract you from all of that," he said, turning around so that he was standing in front Kurt. He shot him a charming smile that just made Kurt's inside melt.
"What do you have in mind?" he asked, not entirely sure whether he actually wanted to know because the idea of a surprise from Adam was enticing and made his insides squirm pleasantly. Adam grinned just a little brighter.
"Oh, you'll have to wait and see..." and with that, and a quick check of his watch, he dashed off, waving goodbye.
Kurt rubbed his eyes as he walked into the kitchen, glaring over at Santana where she lay on the sofa, clearly intending to continue her lounging into another day, probably because she had stayed up late every single night and watched whatever crap was on TV, slowly depriving Kurt, and Rachel and Brody, of sleep.
"You know, I thought that you didn't have plans on acquiring excess fat?" he commented, walking over to the door and picking up the letters that had been stuffed through. Santana twisted around, arching an eyebrow at him.
"Do I look like I am acquiring blubber?" she demanded in an icy voice that questioned whether he wanted to potentially imply that she was overweight again. Kurt said nothing in response, not daring to enter that conversation. Instead, he leant against the counter and flicked through the letters that had arrived. Most of them were flyers and adverts, but he came across three identical envelopes addressed to him, Rachel and Santana – it seemed someone, probably Brittany, had told people that she was living there. Kurt opened the envelope addressed to him and smiled at the sight of an invitation from Mr Schue and Ms Pillsbury to their wedding on Valentine's Day.
"Hey, Satan, heads up," Kurt tossed the invitation onto Santana as Rachel stumbled out of her room, wrapped in a dressing gown and looking like she wanted to fall back asleep. Kurt offered her the envelope from Mr Schue, and Rachel managed a grin whilst Santana groaned, dropping her head over the arm of the sofa.
"I was just there!" she exclaimed in annoyance, rolling her eyes. "They couldn't even give us a heads up! I could have saved a lot of money on plane tickets!" Kurt shook his head, yawning whilst Rachel rubbed her eyes once more and mumbled something about gaining sleep in NYADA and wedding presents.
Kurt himself got changed and left as quickly as possible, before Rachel and Brody, so that he could get some shut eye before class, not to mention actually thinking about the things that he had repressed in his mind when he had first seen the invitation…well, the one thing that it had instantly forced into his mind: Blaine.
The obvious problem was that Blaine would be at the wedding. There would be no getting around meeting Blaine at this event because, unless he was fully prepared to turn his back on the New Directions, there would be no excusable reason for him not to be there. Not only would Kurt be forced to be in Blaine's presence and undoubtedly be forced to see that he was further from attaining his goal of being over Blaine than he would have liked, but it was on Valentine's Day, and the invitation said plus one, and so that meant they were meant to bring an actual date. That meant Sebastian would be there. Kurt would have to see them being coupl-y together! Kurt didn't think he could handle that, especially when he was on his own...that was an utterly depressing and pathetic thought.
Still there was no way for him to get around it; he couldn't not not go either, and he couldn't really bring someone because bringing a friend would seem lame and pathetic. He would be all alone on a day that had meant so much to both Blaine and Kurt – the day, two years back, Kurt admitted his feelings to Blaine for the first time and opened up the doors of possibility to other boy – whilst Blaine spent the day with the boy whose wicked devices had enabled Blaine to surprise Kurt in such a delightful manner a year ago.
The problem with his problem was that all of the solutions – the pitiful few he could think of – were out of his control. He couldn't make them change the date to one of less meaning, nor could he stop Blaine from bringing Sebastian with him to the event, or even create the illusion that he wasn't as alone as he was because that would rely on someone else consenting to pretending that, not to mention having to count on Santana and Rachel to not spill the beans, or for Santana not to hold it over his head in one of her evil ways. Once more he was seemingly helpless against the combined, conspiratorial forces of the world. Was it too much for ask for him to have a trip to Lima that would not be excruciatingly, agonisingly, heart-breakingly, soul-crushingly painful?
He rubbed a hand over his tired eyes as he walked into the warm halls of NYADA, shaking a head at the idiocy of the voice inside of his head that had the task of the internal monologue, because – of course – it was far too much to ask for Lima to be anything less than its painful self. For one, it was a city, and so it would be unfair to point the finger at it for causing him pain when in reality it was the people that abided within it that hurt him so, and secondly, it was only painful to Kurt because he dwelled on the matter so and allowed it to affect him.
Besides, this trip back wasn't ever about him; it was about Mr Schue, who had looked after all the New Directions as best as he could and had always been filled with hope and enthusiasm and had never given up on any of them and had believed that they were special and could achieve greatness and their dreams, and the fact that he was finally about to marry Miss Pillsbury and be happy. It was the very least he deserved, especially after the painful twists and turns his personal life had taken whilst he had coached them towards victory. Kurt, therefore, couldn't linger on his own feelings and allow himself to sour such an occasion and ruin it.
"Hey Kurt!" Kurt blinked, rubbing his eyes and focusing in on Adam, who was walking towards him with a concerned expression on his face. Kurt yawned widely and gave him a smile. Adam hurried over to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" Kurt nodded, yawning again.
"Yes," he said, giving him a small smile. "just very tired…Santana stays up all night watching TV because she has no place to be the next day, unlike the rest of us." He ran a hand down his face, and Adam adopted his disapproving expression that was very much like that of a parent who had discovered that their child had just done something naughty. That thought made him snort a little, imagining Santana's reaction to someone treating her like she was a child. Adam frowned at him, head tilting to the side in confusion. "Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "just thinking about…something…" Adam burst into one of his wide grins at that.
"Excellent!" he exclaimed, clapping a hand around Kurt's shoulders and beginning to walk, dragging him along by his side and thankfully not requiring him to do much. "So, I've been thinking about you…a lot!" Kurt flushed a little at that even though he should be used to it by now given that Adam said that kind of thing frequently. "And I have come up with an idea; do you have any plans for Valentine's Day?" Kurt swallowed, trying to stop his face from spontaneously combusting in a blush because his head was beginning to spin from the implications of that statement.
"Um," he began, swallowing. "yes…" he said, hesitantly. Adam came to an immediate halt, staring at Kurt with a wide eyed expression.
"What?" he yelped, loudly, causing a lot of eyes to turn to them. Kurt scowled at him, crossing his eyes and giving him a glare that said he was not pleased with Adam's reaction to the fact he had plans on Valentine's Day.
"Thanks for that, Adam," he commented, icily, glaring at the older boy with such an intensity that Adam's eyes grew even wider in fear and alarm and he held his hands up in an immediate surrender.
"Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to offend you, I just- I just- we're friends, and I would have thought that if you had…found someone like that, I would know…or at the very least heard gossip from Rachel about it." Kurt snorted a little.
"Good save," he said, grinning. Adam nodded in thanks. "and don't worry-"
"I wasn't-" began Adam in denial, and Kurt arched an eyebrow that dared him to question that fact. Adam conceded the point with a meek dip of his head.
"-I would tell you," continued Kurt. "if that was the case, but it's not that: our coach in Glee club – Mr Schue – is getting married on Valentine's Day, and he's invited all back so I'm going, of course." Adam nodded in understanding, pursing his lips but still smiling at him.
"Okay, well…that's nice. I take it then all of your old friends will be there too?" Kurt nodded. "And Blaine too?" he asked, tentatively. Kurt nodded once more, pulling a rather taut expression and grimacing. Adam nodded, accepting the news and clearly turning it over in his mind. "How are you feeling about that?" he asked, eventually, tilting his head to the side and looking at Kurt with an inquisitive expression. Kurt shrugged.
"Not great, I suppose," he admitted, shrugging once more. "I mean, there's nothing I can do about the matter, and it's basically irrelevant how I feel, but I'm looking forward to the prospect less than I would have liked." He tried to pull a nonchalant expression and missed, but Adam's expression of gentle listening and understanding meant that that didn't matter. "We were all really close, you know? When Mr Schue started up the New Directions only five people signed up, and I was one of them, which means I was one of the original five and all…" he shrugged. "It just means that it feels wrong that I should feel any reluctance about going back for an event like this." Adam smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. Kurt looked between him and the hand. "Are you about to deliver me a speech about how you understand because of something to do with your horrible ex-boyfriend?" Adam screwed up his face.
"Would that be a bad idea 'cause I have several stories that I feel are applicable right now." Kurt rolled his eyes a little, smiling in amusement at the way Adam looked at him in mild apprehension.
"Why don't you hit me with your best shot?" he suggested, crossing his arms and staring at him with an arched eyebrow.
"Well," said Adam, straightening up and adjusting his bag strap. "the obvious one that springs to mind is our leavers dance – basically like a prom. It was the evening of leavers day, surprisingly enough, so mid-July. It was just after the end of the trial." Adam's face closed up, and he rubbed a hand across his forehead looking pained. Kurt stepped forward, putting a hand on his upper arm and giving him a sympathetic look.
"You don't have to tell me this story if you don't want to." Adam shook his head, shooting him a smile.
"No, it's fine. I don't really remember it that well – it was an utter whirlwind…" he shook his head again. "Anyway, it was the first school event, and I was scared out of my wits, and it was…obviously, me and Michael were going to go together so it was- it was hard, but I went." He shrugged, shooting him a smile. "I didn't go because I wanted to go; I'd have to be an idiot to want to go, but Warren asked me to go as his date…" he snorted. "My straight best friend asked me to the dance, that's how desperate we both were, and I went because he asked me to; because he was my best friend, and I enjoyed it – it was worth all the pain, Kurt, 'cause I had a really fun time, even though Felix was avoiding me like the plague." He grinned at Kurt, and Kurt blinked at him, once more finding that even though Adam's story didn't quite seem relevant to him that it comforted him nonetheless. He guessed that the message that Adam was trying to deliver was that actually the pain wouldn't sully it as much as Kurt might have thought – there would be plenty of good memories and feelings, enough to make it obsolete perhaps.
"That was a good shot," he commented, smiling at the Senior. Then the bell went, and Kurt jumped. He shot Adam one last grateful grin as he began to hurry down the corridor. "Thanks! I'll see you later!" Adam waved him off, and Kurt ran to his lesson, what Adam had said about Warren sitting in his mind.
"Rachel," said Kurt, appearing behind his friend where she sat with Brody. The two of them jumped as one, and Kurt smiled down at them in a pleasant manner. "can I have a word?" he asked in that same sweet voice, like he was completely unaware that he had interrupted a romantic conversation between the two. Rachel sighed in a huffy manner that was mostly fake.
"Of course, sweetie!" she said with a smile, getting up. She shot him a confused frown that asked what he wanted, but Kurt simply beckoned her away from Brody. "Is everything okay, Kurt?" she asked. "Is this something to do with Blaine and the wedding?" she guessed with a worried look upon her face. "Is it going to be a problem; you know, Sebastian being there and all? I mean, you have to be there, but I get that it's Valentine's Day and all so it'll be hard. I don't know, do you think we could talk to Mr Schue or something because, let's face it, there are sort of legitimate reasons and all?" Kurt held up his hands, arching his eyebrows and giving her a condescending look that told her to shut up and let him talk. She shot him an apologetic smile and demanded answers instead. Kurt sighed.
"I wanted to know," he said, slowly and calmly. "whether you were bringing Brody to the wedding." Rachel stared at him intensely for a moment, clearly trying to divine where that line of questioning was going before shaking her head.
"No, I talked to him about it on the way here, and he said that he felt weird going to the wedding of people he didn't know." Kurt arched an eyebrow in disbelief, and Rachel shrugged a little, looking over his shoulder and back at Brody. Kurt cleared his throat to draw her attention back to him and cocked his head. "Well, I kind of see where he's coming from. I mean, we're all going to know each other and all, and I can understand why he wouldn't want to spend our first Valentine's Day together making awkward small talk with people that he's never met before…well, he's met two of them before, but one of them is Finn and the other is Blaine…that's, like, super, super, super awkward!" Kurt considered what she'd said and then nodded, agreeing that only knowing your girlfriend's ex and her best friend's ex at an event would be unbearably awkward for someone.
"Okay, yeah, your boyfriend is talking sense for once." Rachel glared at him for the jab, and Kurt simply shrugged.
"So, why did you want to know?" she asked, effectively diverting the conversation onto another path before Kurt could get into the business of insulting Brody again. Kurt smiled pleasantly once before responding.
"I was considering bringing Adam to the wedding." Rachel's eyes bugged wide open at his idea, and she jumped up and down on the spot with an excited expression on her face, and Kurt knew she was about to start squealing.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "Are you guys dating? Is it official! Oh my god! This is so exciting!" She threw her arms around him, hugging tightly. Kurt blinked in alarm, patting her on the back in an attempt to try and get her to let go of him.
"Okay, okay, that's starting to hurt a little now!" he wheezed, and Rachel stepped back, eyes alight with excitement. "And I am not dating Adam!" Rachel's expression fell, and she stared at him with a confused expression that demanded to know why Kurt wanted to bring Adam to wedding if they weren't dating. Kurt sighed and threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, correct posture slumping in mild defeat. "I don't know, I was going to ask him if Brody was coming too, but I can't do it if Brody's not coming…" he trailed off, shaking his head and looking at Rachel tiredly. Rachel frowned at him in a concerned manner, and Kurt sighed. "I don't know. I just wanted to bring someone, but I can't if Brody's not coming because that will just raise lots of confusing, awkward question which I don't want to deal with around Blaine, and especially not anywhere near Sebastian." Rachel nodded, sympathetically.
"Well, I can ask Brody again if you want." Kurt shook his head, waving it away.
"No, don't be ridiculous! If he doesn't want to come he doesn't want come, we can't make him, and we shouldn't. No, it was just something that I thought after I had this conversation with Adam…I don't know, he told me this story, and I had this idea, which I grant was a stupid one so never mind."
"He told you a story?" asked Rachel in a confused manner, brows scrunching up in bafflement. Kurt stared at her blankly for a moment, questioning why she was looking at him like that, before something really big snapped together in his mind: no one else knew what he knew about Adam…well, no one at NYADA at any rate, of course everyone in England knew about it in probably greater detail than him. Kurt knew that Luke, his best friend and roommate, knew the skeleton of the story that Adam had told Kurt in the café, plus the part about Michael's sentence, but Kurt knew more than that. Kurt had known Adam for less than two months, but he somehow knew him better than people who had known him for going on four years! What did that mean? Adam trusted Kurt on a level that Kurt hadn't really acknowledged before because he had thought that their relationship was even because Kurt had basically told Adam everything, and Adam gave him advice and support in return, as well as telling him about what had happened to him. Kurt had never really noticed that every time Adam gave him advice he didn't just help Kurt; he opened up more and more with implicit and unquestioning trust. Adam had this faith in Kurt that seemed to increase every time that Adam gave something to him, not the other way round… Oh, this was not good for his brain.
"Kurt!" exclaimed Rachel, snapping her fingers in front of his face. Kurt jolted, shaking his head and trying to clear his mind. "Everything okay?" she asked. Kurt shook his head once more, trying to gather his mind.
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," he assured her, giving her a strong smile. Rachel looked unconvinced, but Kurt gave her another smile to try and deter her from questioning him anymore about it. "I just had a thought." Rachel stared at him in a manner that said she was questioning his sanity more and more in this conversation.
"Okay…" she said, slowly, still eyeing him. Kurt gave her a smile that he knew failed at reassuring her. "so…are you sure that you're okay about not going with anyone?" Kurt shrugged because, no, he wasn't sure that he was okay with going with no one – scrap that; he knew that he wasn't okay with it – but there was nothing he could do to change that so he just had to accept it and move on.
"Yeah," he said, shooting her another smile and wondering why he was bothering lying through his teeth to his best friend. "of course I'm fine!" Rachel narrowed her eyes and then sighed, shrugging. A silence fell between them, and Kurt knew that she wanted to leave him to his musings, but that she didn't feel like she could leave him. Kurt, on the other hand, was still caught up in everything that Adam had said to him because something was very slowly clicking into place, and he didn't want to rush the revelation that was coming to him at a painfully languid pace that was very annoying because he got the impression that this was meant to be something very obvious.
…"My straight best friend asked me to the dance, that's how desperate we both were, and I went because he asked me to; because he was my best friend, and I enjoyed it – it was worth all the pain, Kurt, 'cause I had a really fun time…"…
"Rachel," he began, eyes lighting up as he finally came upon the conclusion that he was searching for. "I have just had a brilliant idea!" Rachel blinked, looking at him in confusion, clearly asking whether he thought it was normal to just zone out for long periods of time and then restart a conversation again like nothing had happened. Kurt dismissed it with a roll of his eyes. "We can't bring anyone for varying reasons, so we should go together!" Rachel blinked.
"What as best friends?" she asked in confusion, and Kurt rolled his eyes in annoyance, glaring at her.
"No, as secret lovers!" Several disturbed eyes turned to them at his scathing outburst. "Of course, as best friends!" Rachel snorted a little, rolling her eyes back at him before breaking out into a grin and hugging Kurt once more.
"That's great!" she enthused. "This is going to be so much fun!" Kurt laughed and swung an arm around her shoulders, turning her around and noticing that Adam had walked over to Brody at some point and the two of them were now talking amiably, and nodded along in response to Rachel's babbling about colour co-ordinated outfits.