Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter. Unfortunately, no one reviewed.
It's getting harder to write these chapters due to a nasty case of writer's depression for this story. I actually wrote 2000 words on this chapter that I'm not using because I hated it so much. The same thing occurred on the last chapter. I decided to use my favorite storytelling technique of using e-mails on my second attempt at writing this chapter. That got me out of my writing depression long enough to rewrite this entire chapter in one morning. It's the shortest one in over a year, but I decided that Chad and Sharpay's conversation was too special to be thrown in with the other e-mails. Therefore, I decided to split the section in two separate chapters. The rest of the material will be covered in the next part. If the depression stays away, I hope to have another chapter up relatively soon. Reviews do help.
I didn't realize how many characters there are in this story until I had to make up e-mail names for everyone.
Warning: Sexual dialogue because Chad writes some very inappropriate e-mails in this chapter.
Chapter 36: Things You Can Only Say in E-mails: Part One
From:
Sharpay_is_FabulousTo: TB206100; Mrs._Kim_Bolton; EHS_Faculty_BoltonJA; CarolineSB; Baker _boy_2009; CastroPX; CXDanforth-Williams; Chad_luv_sharpay; The_fabulous_Marc; AmandaSX baby_brother_Evans; Daddy_Evans; EHSJasonMX; TaylorX; EHSKerriJA; Nurse_Jackson; Jimmy_the_basketball_King; Jackie_is_a_star and 79 others
Subject: Invitation: Welcome to the world Olivia and Isaac Jackson Open House February 14, 2009
Time sent: 1/31/2009 09:17:12
You are cordially invited to the baby event of the winter season on February 14, 2009 2:30 PM at Beijing Gardens hotel, Albuquerque.
Please help Sharpay Evans and Chad Danforth Welcome OliviaSharpay Jackson and Isaac Miguel Jackson in to the world.
The pair are registered at:
Baby Bryan Boutique
Baby Land Style
Toys-R-Everyone
The Toddler Connection
Bullseye-Mart
Even if you can't show up, I am expecting a gift.
[Click here to RSVP]
[Click here for directions]
[Click here to donate to the Twins college fund]
[Click here for adorable pictures of Chad trying to give his baby sister a baby sponge bath.]
[Click here for fabulous pictures of Chad being urinated on by his baby brother.]
[Click for funny images of Chad being thrown up on by both babies.]
From: Chad_luv_sharpay
To: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
Subject: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 09:32:18
I thought we agreed to have a small open house here at Kim's house so we wouldn't have people coming over here at all hours to see the babies. We also agreed to have it on February 7. Why is this thing now at Beijing Gardens on the 14th? I thought we talked about this yesterday when you got tired of my aunt bringing strange family members over. You made it sound like we're having the party of the winter social season. I'm not wearing a suit.
Also, why did you solicit gifts? You have bought the twins everything they could possibly need.
In addition, did you have to send those particular images to all of our friends? Why couldn't you send the one of Isaac aiming at you?
I love you anyway, even if you are evil.
PS: What are you wearing?
From: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
To: Chad_luv_sharpay
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 09:46:34
Those shots were adorable. You look so cute giving your sister a baby sponge bath. At least she is not as bad as Alex. I'm sure Kim has blackmail pictures somewhere of me trying to give Alex a bath when he was a few months old. He completely ruined my outfit.
This is doubling as a baby shower because Tiffany's was canceled due to what happened therefore we are entitled to gifts.
Kim is the one who changed the location to Beijing Gardens and the date. She thought you would want Troy here for this thing and he's going to be in Albuquerque for the Valentine's Day weekend. She believes that neither one of us is going to have enough energy to actually plan this thing or clean up her house.
The event planners at Beijing Gardens are going to take care of everything including the catering. All we have to do is show up and look fabulous. Yes, you are wearing a suit. You look sexy when you're dressed up.
Why are you e-mailing me, when you're only two doors away?
I know this is probably a prelude to e-mail sex, but I'm going to go with it since we haven't had the real thing in days. I hope you're more behaved than that. I'm wearing your old East High basketball shirt and my favorite pair of jeans that are a little too tight. I need to exercise more now that you're making me eat like a person.
Last night when I went on an emergency diaper run the skinny bitch behind me made some snide comment about me still needing to work off the 'baby fat.' She said I was fat.
You'll be happy to know I didn't go straight for the liquor cabinet to drown my sorrows. I did eat a chocolate bar though. I'm going to have to burn that off now.
From: Chad_luv_sharpay
To: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 09:58:28
Good point about the party. I'm all in favor of anything that means less work for us. I miss sleep. Also, I would like Troy to be here for the twins coming out party.
I am emailing you via my iPhone because your namesake gets cranky when I don't give her my undivided attention. She is so like you. I hope she goes back to sleep after this bottle. On the bright side, we are talking to each other. We barely get to do anything non baby related right now.
You're not fat. You're just not anorexic looking anymore. You only weigh like 15 more pounds than you did in high school. You were a stick figure back then. (But you were a sexy stick figure that induced all sorts of wet dreams.)
You are the sexiest woman in the world no matter how much you weigh. I love your new curves and you're like half a cup size bigger now. I would like nothing more than to be stripping that old T shirt off of you as I start sucking on those wonderful breasts of yours. Then I would begin kissing every single inch of your exquisite body. I would worship you with my mouth until you came screaming my name. Do you know you taste like honey? Do you have any idea how badly I want to be inside you right now?
Do you think we can talk my mom in to babysitting tonight so we can have some private time? I miss private time, but I miss you more.
From: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
To: Chad_luv_sharpay
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 10:03:54
That laughter you heard a few minutes ago was your mother. Did I mention Caroline is reading these emails over my shoulder? She said there's no way in hell she's going to baby sit just so you can get laid.
That's so unfair. I miss sex, but only with you.
From: Chad_luv_sharpay
To: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 10:06:01
Oh god. Why didn't you tell me this was a bad time for e-mail sex?
From: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
To: Chad_luv_sharpay
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 10:12:45
As if I thought you were going to try to sex me up while feeding your baby sister or whatever you're doing when I'm trying to do homework. She didn't start reading until I started laughing.
By the way, Zeke, Jason C, and Jimmy are coming over to play basketball with you at noon so you'll stop sulking. I arranged it to keep Zeke from going with Amanda to Arizona and to make you smile again. Although, now she's going with Penelope because Marc backed out at the last minute supposedly due to a surprise paper because one of his professors had a mood swing yesterday.
Don't be embarrassed that your mom saw what you wrote. You should see some of the messages she sends to your future step dad when he is actually in class. I accidentally picked up his phone once and saw things that made me want to bleach my brain. I'm scarred for life. Now I know where you get your dirty text messaging and email tendencies from.
I am just happy you are talking to me. You've been so closed off the last couple of days I didn't want to stop you.
From: Chad_luv_sharpay
To: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 10:20:41
One, Sharpay junior is asleep finally. Two, she can't read yet and therefore cannot be scarred for life unlike myself. Never ever tell me what were in those messages. Its bad enough I accidentally read some of the things that Troy sent to Kim.
Three, remember all those messages I sent you during basketball season. I was usually surrounded by teammates or Amanda when I sent you text messages about finger fucking you in the locker room. Honestly, I have no shame when it comes to you. I will always want you even though I'm currently exhausted from twin duty.
Four, I miss being with you, between school and the babies, I have been collapsing the moment I walk in to the house. Can't we just let everybody coming over to play basketball stay with the baby so we can have some private time?
Also, I'm not sulking.
From: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
To: Chad_luv_sharpay
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 10:27:45
Yes, you are sulking. You still haven't told me everything that happened last Sunday night. I'm your fiancé. You can tell me everything even if it may be something I don't want to hear. I love you and I will always be here for you.
Also the cringing/laughing sounds from a few minutes ago where your mother again. She's still reading these messages over my shoulder as she's feeding Isaac. She said she's willing to baby sit at some point in the future as long as she never finds out what we actually did. I'm coming over there to rescue your baby sister from your corruptive influence. She's like six days old and you are already scarring her for life.
From:
Chad_luv_sharpayTo: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
Subject: Re: Why is this thing now happening at a hotel and did you really have to use those images?
Time sent: 1/31/2009 11:13:01
I know for a fact you're not reading this message right now because you're standing in front of me singing a lullaby to Olivia to get her to go back to sleep because she started screaming the moment you took her from me. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are right now?
You're right I have been sulking. I have also been keeping you at arm's length. I don't mean to push you away it's just a defense mechanism. I know sometimes I can be an ass but I still love you. So much is going on right now and it is just so hard to deal with.
Everything is so different than it was a year ago. I had everything planned out. Troy and I would be the stars basketball players at A of U. I would get a computer science degree because that would be the easiest and it would be a good backup in case my NBA dream fell apart. Taylor and I would have the perfect long distance relationship. I'm laughing at the thought of that right now. Taylor and I really should have broken up before College started.
I wasn't planning on Troy going to another school or me and you becoming the best of 'friends'. I really didn't plan on becoming Uncle Chad but I don't think Troy was planning on being a daddy either. That threw everybody for a loop. Then again so did the fact that my mom is dating his dad now.
I'm bored out of my mind in computer science. I only took all those classes in high school because that's one of the major industries around here, along with the military. I don't want to be a computer programmer anymore. Even the idea of designing video games is not as thrilling as it was a few years ago.
I'm not sure what I want to be. I like science and doing research on different things. Maybe I'm having a little too much fun researching human sexuality. It's actually interesting and not just because I enjoy discovering new ways to make you scream. You know I love learning new things. I wonder what I would have to major in to become the next Dr. Kinsey or Dr. Ruth?
I wasn't planning on becoming a big brother or functioning as a pseudo parent because my father put the mother of his children in a coma. I keep having nightmares about what happened that night. That's why I have been letting you sleep through the 2:00 AM feedings. I'm usually already up because I can't sleep.
Maybe if I tell you in this e-mail that I may or may not send you will be easier to deal with then telling you about that night verbally. They were arguing on top of the stairs. Tiffany was accusing him of only wanting to marry her because her bitch of a mom was paying him to. He began yelling back and started calling her a lot of nasty synonyms for prostitute. I'm surprise you didn't hear all this in the ladies room below. They were really loud.
At that point, Tiffany and I tried to walk away. Then Charles started yelling about my decision to 'throw my entire life away' because I don't want to play basketball anymore. I wanted to tell him that the NBA was his dream, not mine. But I said nothing because Tiffany was already screaming at him again about how he shouldn't be forcing his dream on me because he wasn't good enough to succeed. I knew this was turning bad quickly and I pulled Tiffany away even though I wanted to hit him again so badly. I knew better than to give him anything else to use against me.
He wouldn't let us walk away. He grabbed Tiffany by the wrist so hard that he left bruises. She tried to break free but she couldn't. Because of being pregnant her center of gravity is different. Instead of coming back to him when he yanked on her arm, she fell back and tumbled down the stairs.
I blame myself for not being fast enough to keep Tiffany from falling back. I keep replaying the moment repeatedly in my mind, thinking of all the things that I could have done differently. Maybe if I did punch him out, Tiffany would still be waiting for her due date and not in a coma.
What if she doesn't wake up? What if the twins become ours permanently? Are you ready to be a mom to two children that are not yours? Am I ready to be a dad? How can I be a real father with such a fucked up example like Charles? I'm so fucking scared. I'm afraid of being my father. I am absolutely terrified of being a father at all. I just don't know how to do this. I need you. You are the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
I love you so much it hurts sometimes.
From: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
To: Chad_luv_sharpay
Subject: I love you and I will always be there.
Time sent: 1/31/2009 13:24:01
I'm sitting here writing this as I am watching you smile for the first time in weeks as you are kicking Zeke and Jason C's ass on the basketball court in Kim's backyard. You look so sexy on the court wearing your old East High sweatshirt that I know you stole back from me.
I'm glad you're too distracted playing with your boys to see me crying right now. Don't worry their happy tears.
You never have to be afraid to tell me anything. Nothing you have to say will scare me away from you. I love you no matter what. I will be with you no matter what.
Even though we haven't said the vowels in front of the state of New Mexico and God yet, I have said them in my heart. I will be with you until death. I will stay by your side through sickness and health. I will be with you when you do stupid things even if I want to smack you upside the head. I will love you despite your crazy parents and the unintentional parenthood. I will stay by your side for richer or poorer, even if that means living in that horrible apartment again on macaroni and cheese. I will support you in whatever you want to do even if you want to become a research biologist that specializes in human sexuality. You could also do anthropology. I will e-mail you the course catalog and I already scheduled you a time with your adviser.
Sorry, I got off topic. Any way what I'm trying to tell you is it is me and you against the world. Because of that I know I can survive anything with you by my side even dirty diapers. Seriously, how can one creature that small create so much waste?
Now let me do my duty as your life partner by reassuring you. First, you are not Charles. I'm not worried about you ever hurting me emotionally or physically the way he hurt Caroline and Tiffany. I trust you with everything I am. I trust you with my heart and my entire self. I trust you with my hopes and dreams. I trust you with my fears. I will never trust anyone else the way I trust you.
If you were like Charles, you would not have pushed me away the first time I've tried to have sex with you when I was completely drunk that Gabby posted to the Internet. You also would not have pushed me away the other time I tried to have sex with you on are birthdays when I was completely drunk. You always went at my pace.
I know you'll never physically hurt me like what your father did to Tiffany. I know you will not cheat on me like your father did with your mother even though you kind of cheated on Taylor. You know it wasn't the same and Taylor has forgiven you. It doesn't count.
I know you will not hurt any of our children the way Darby hurt me even if due to tragic circumstances Olivia and Isaac become our children permanently. You are the greatest person I know. You have a good heart Chad Danforth.
I understand your fear. I'm afraid of becoming Darby. I don't want to become an image conscious bitch that cares about nothing but herself. I'm afraid of becoming an alcoholic like her. I'm afraid of getting mad and taking my anger out on you and the kids. You know for a fact that even now I still wake up in the middle the night due to Darby induced nightmares.
Even though Charles was an ass, you had a great father in Jack. He's always been your father. He loves you just like he loves Troy. Love is more important than blood. Remember that. He is the example that you should follow even though he isn't perfect. The thanksgiving incident comes to mind as an example of that imperfection.
Finally, what happened on the balcony Sunday night was not your fault. Don't let the guilt eat away at you. I used to blame myself for Darby hitting me. I thought if I was absolutely perfect maybe she would stop hurting me. That's why, starring in everything in high school was so important to me back then. Then I met the real you and through your love I realized none of it was my fault. I am not responsible for what other people do. It's not my fault that they hurt me the way they did.
Let me repay the favor. You are not responsible for your father's stupidity. Let go of the guilt and pain. If you need to physically cry on my shoulder, it's yours. You don't even have to ask.
I love you, scar tissue and all.
PS: Is it just me or is Jimmy having way too much fun trying to teach Marc how to play basketball? Jimmy is touching Marc the same way you touched me when you were teaching me how to play. I don't think that's normal. I think we should be very happy right now that Kerri is playing with her Cousins inside the house right as your Aunt Claudia floods the house with more relatives that don't like me.
To: Sharpay_is_Fabulous
Subject: I love you Too
Time sent: 1/31/2009 17:23:49
I told you most of this before you passed out after our previous activities but I wanted to put something in writing before Aunt Claudia shows back up with the twins. We owe her a giant gift basket for taking the twins to see Tiffany for the afternoon so we could 'study' after the basketball game.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for staying by my side through everything.
I feel the same way even though we haven't said our vows in front of God and the state of New Mexico. If I could marry you tomorrow I would, unfortunately my mom is making us wait.
In the interim, I will love you through good and bad until my very last breath. I will stay by your side even when you're being Sharpay the bitch, because I love her too. Even if we are stuck in a horrible apartment again eating your extra crunchy macaroni and cheese, I will still be there. I will be with you through sickness and health even if that means camping out at the hospital. I will stand by your side when we must deal with our completely insane relatives. All I want is you for the rest of my life. I pledge all of myself to you and no one else.
I will still love you when your hair turns gray and you actually do have baby fat. Just remember, I think curves are sexy.
PS: I think you are right about Marc and Jimmy. Jason C looked ready to kill even if he is still in closet case mode. Like Kerri needs something else to deal with right now. No matter what happens next, we will deal with it together. It will always be you and me against the world no matter what. I think we're facing the 'no matter what' right now. I'm okay with it because I have you.