Chapter 36
'Three Simple Words – Part 3: Life'
Life is such a great thing, yet such a fragile thing, that can be so very easily lost, or taken. It is the way of the universe, and has been since the stars started burning in the heavens above, with the knowledge that death is the only constant. Except, it can come for some much sooner than expected or ever so suddenly, and those that survive to experience that loss… some of them may even wish for their own to come as well.
It was exactly how Judy Hopps felt right now, her sobs now silent as she wept over the lifeless husk of the mammal she loved: Nick Wilde, knowing that no amount of volume to her wails would bring him back.
After fighting through so much, suffering so much themselves, giving it their all, kicking ass and tail and defeating the bad guys, and saving the city…
Today was supposed to be a victory.
Only it felt like it was anything but a victory now. Now that Judy felt like she had just lost everything from a life she didn't get to begin with Nick. That's what hurt most of all… that the life she had hoped to have with him would now forever only happen in her imagination…
And that only allowed more quiet wails to escape her lips as she lay there huddled next to and crying into the body of her Fox.
Even with the distance he had put between himself and the scene, Fang could still hear the Rabbit's audible woes, only furthering his own woes that he had failed her, failed Nick, and in turn… failed himself. It didn't matter anymore that they had still won today, and saved the city from an apocalypse of Nighthowler gas…
No victory was worth the death of a friend.
Fang just remained still, staring only at the bridge beneath his feet, sat alone on the bare wet tarmac. His tail remained motionless, curled around his side as his ears folded back against his skull, visually displaying his sorrow…
Only he was still sat there livid with grief-stricken rage.
After some time, the Wolf looked up from the asphalt barely a metre in front of his outstretched feet, seeing a little ways down the bridge and spotting the place where the Black Panther and Coyote lay unmoved. Fang glared at both Roan and Madelyn with a distasteful scorn. He could see the black furred feline was still breathing, even if he looked like bloody death warmed over after Bogo was finished with him. What Fang noticed too, was that the Coyote the Panther was huddled against, was not breathing. A spiteful one-sided smile formed on his muzzle at the fact that Roan was quite likely heartbroken too, and as cruel as it was to think this way, Fang felt like he deserved it. But for one moment, he actually felt sorry for the Panther that he had lost his mate…
But only for a moment.
That Panther was still a murderous fanatical psychopath, which had now added one last name to his list of likely hundreds of murdered mammals… and Fang was ever so tempted to let out all his anger on him. He could feel a rasping growl at the back of his throat as he thought about it… to charge over there and beat the Panther even more senselessly than Bogo had already done so. Fang didn't care on the questionable morality of it, he wanted to see that b*stard suffer even more, because it was him who had killed his friend.
…
But instead, Fang just huffed dismally, shook his head, and gazed aimlessly down at the ground again.
There was no use for revenge when nothing would bring back the dead.
The Wolf's anger dissipated, now only leaving the sadness within him as he just sat there alone in the cold. It suddenly made an instinctive pulse cut through his chest, as he blinked away a tear, suddenly feeling like he wanted to howl...
It was a baser instinct that other species often mocked wolves for… but that was because they didn't understand it. Howling was an expression of emotion in lupine culture, all depending on the tone of the howl; be it happiness, celebration, humour, respect, or in this case, sadness and mourning… and it was widely considered by those who had ever heard one, that a group howl of lamenting wolves at a lupine funeral, was one of the most haunting and yet, most beautiful things to ever grace your eardrums.
Deep down, Fang was still angry. Angry at the Panther, angry at himself, angry with the world… but he wanted to howl- even if Nick wasn't a wolf, in a gesture of respect and mourning for his fallen friend.
…
He prepared himself for it, coughing to clear his throat, suddenly realising how thirsty he was despite being drenched through to the bone from the earlier ferocity of the storm and with all the water around him. He lifted his head up, staring down the bridge once more, preparing to crane his head upwards-
But that was as far as he got…
Because as Fang stared down the bridge, he spotted something lying amongst the debris of the two wrecked vehicles. It was more or less next to, but slightly away from where the Panther and Coyote lay. Something small and oddly blue in amongst the shades of grey around them. He noticed what it was immediately: one of the Nighthowler inhalers… though how one had found itself there Fang didn't know. He could only assume it was one that belonged to the Coyote, as Bogo had used the Panther's inhaler and tossed it away already.
A thought suddenly popped into his head…
An idea… that could still save Nick's life.
As Fang thought right back through this eventful morning, right back to when he and Nick confronted Roan in the room at the construction site, the Panther had rather willingly explained what the inhalant was capable of. The drug was a performance enhancer, but by being made from the Nighthowler plant, it was also something much more. While it was likely to be a lot more complex than Fang's assumption was (a fact of which he was quite aware of), this variant of the Nighthowler serum essentially acted like super-adrenaline… and he had proof; the Cheetah that took him, Nick, Catherine and Wolford to finally bring down for good, and how Bogo had managed to lift a several dozen tonne heavy trailer, and push it off the bridge only moments ago… and that was only from the displays he was there to witness. Adrenaline (or epinephrine), was the last resort for treating cardiac arrest… and quite clearly, whatever it was exactly that made up this cerulean chemical concoction was precisely that, or at least something inherently similar, except it was… Fang dared to think: … Better?
Fang's ears lifted at the possibility that, if he could somehow get the drug into Nick's body, even if it was still in liquid form, then maybe- just maybe, it could restart his heart.
It was a long shot, and Fang questioned in his own head whether or not it would work, or even how much serum to use or if too much of it would turn Nick savage or kill him anyway. It made Fang hesitate, but he put the thought aside. They hadn't got anything left to lose. Nick was already gone, so doing anything to save him couldn't really do more harm than good.
There was no time to waste, Fang hurriedly flipped himself over, pushing off all fours and jumping to his feet, heading back towards the makeshift shelter where the Rabbit remained sobbing over the lifeless Fox;
"Judy…" Fang said soothingly, catching her attention as she slowly lifted her head to look at him. He paused as he caught site of her face. Judy was a wreck, her eyes bloodshot and the fur beneath them matted with tears. Her heartbreak was clear as day on her face…
But Fang was hoping he could solve that problem;
"Keep doing CPR," He continued, "I- I may have an idea… I think we can still save him,"
At that statement, Judy's ears partially lifted, and her eyes lit up as her glimmer of hope suddenly sparked back to life. It was small and it was dim, but it was there, and that's what mattered. If there was any chance of still saving Nick, she would do it… although she was somewhat confused of her Wolf companion's sudden realisation.
And she still kept that confused look on her face as Fang suddenly left and ran away down the bridge. Nevertheless, she trusted him, whatever he was up to, and lifted herself from the ground, now leaning over Nick again, and for the last time, placed her paws one over the other just beneath his ribcage and began pressing down repeatedly with all her might.
It took all her might too, because by now Judy had barely any energy left to go on. Repeated compressions of CPR were exceedingly tiring, and it was a wonder to how she had kept on going before, let alone now. However, Judy was always one to exceed expectations, in more ways than one. She soldiered on, hoping this gamble, whatever it was, would work, and bring Nick back to her.
The sudden turnabout of the situation caused Bogo to return his attention to the scene, noticing Fang make a limping sprint down the bridge as he watched in confusion himself. He then leaned down, dropping to one knee as he peeked beneath the makeshift shelter he had built, seeing Judy vigorously resuscitating the lifeless Fox.
It was almost like he'd jumped back in time somehow, but he was quite sure he hadn't. So when Fang quickly returned, Bogo asked openly;
"Jonathan, what-"
"This-" the Wolf interrupted, holding up the Nighthowler inhaler he had gone to pick up as he dropped down to his knees next to the medkit, "This is a super performance enhancing drug, right?" he paused, seeing both Judy and Bogo watching him closely, listening to his every word, "Roan explained all about it when me and Nick found him earlier… it's like adrenaline, but like… a hundred times stronger!"
Fang knew the number was an exaggeration, but was only saying to make a point. Judy and Bogo continued to listen, already contemplating on the idea themselves.
"I'm thinking, if maybe it works the same way…" Fang continued, "rather than inhaling it, we inject some into Nick's body- into his blood stream, and it may just restart his heart long enough to shock him again," he paused again as he placed the inhaler down, and began rummaging through the medkit in front of him, "That is, as long as there's a syringe in here we can use…"
For a moment, Judy and Bogo said nothing, allowing Fang to find a single empty medial syringe inside the large red case. For now, the Wolf carried on regardless, as Bogo silently continued thinking this idea through in his head.
He would have queried a dislike on such a rash use of a drug they had little to no information about, only knowing what they did from what they had experienced today. But on that side of the debate, Bogo had no leg to stand on, considering he had recklessly used the inhaler himself not so long ago, and he knew what it felt like, and knew that Fang's assumptive logic was sound.
The only thing holding him back was the ethical standpoint. It had been a long time since Nick had flat-lined… or at least, it had felt like a long time. There was a possibility that in that time the lack of blood flow along with the loss of blood had caused the Fox to suffer brain damage, severe or not. What was holding Bogo back right now was the question: What sort of life would Nick live if this gamble did work and he did survive? What would this mean for those who cared about him? What would it do to Judy? To have Nick back, but for him to never be the same? Or even, would it still keep him alive in the long run?
All viable questions… because, for her sake, Bogo didn't want to see Judy go through the grief of losing Nick a second time;
"Jonathan…" Bogo stopped the Wolf, speaking softly, "Are you sure this is going to work?"
"No…" Fang answered forlornly, looking down, "and I have no idea what will happen if it does either… but we've done all we can and it's not worked. So… what harm is there in trying?" He slowly looked up at Bogo, "… And, no offence sir… but it's not your decision to make."
Bogo couldn't argue with that statement, as he and Fang both simultaneously turned and looked at Judy.
No matter what the outcome was.
Right now, with only the three of them present, the decision was hers to make.
In complete contrast to how she was only a moment before, Judy's face was emotionless, although the evidence of her previous crying was still noticeable. With her renewed resolve however, Fang and Bogo didn't need to wait long for a solid answer.
Judy nodded shallowly, but spoke firmly;
"Let's try it."
…
They went to work, the only thing keeping them going being the hasty hope of a rather reckless plan.
While Judy continued CPR, her action filled only with that reckless hope, Fang began to dismantle the Nighthowler inhaler…
With a strong but easy pull, the Wolf disconnected the transparent canister filled with the cerulean serum from the actuator of the device. A trickle of it spilled from the cylinder when Fang pulled it out and separated both parts and tossed the actuator away. There was more than enough remaining in the tiny canister when Fang picked up the syringe from the medkit in front of him, swiftly removing the needle cap and also tossed it away. He started to shake, but keeping it steady as he could, he stuck the tip of the exposed needle into the shimmering blue liquid, and gently pulled back the plunger, picking up a generous amount of the Nighthowler performance enhancer that filled at least a quarter of the syringe.
Fang shuffled over to where Nick lay, where Judy was still giving CPR. The Wolf instantly grasped onto the Fox's left arm, lifting his limp limb to find a vein to inject.
It was nothing but guess work to him… Fang didn't know a damn thing about administering injections, only that he had to find a vein, which was considerably difficult to find underneath fur, no matter the thickness of it. It put that immeasurable pressure on him again, just like when he was trying to disarm the bomb earlier, making his paw shake as he held the syringe. It didn't help that Fang was holding it in maimed right paw too. The combination of that and the stress he was under once again meant he couldn't hold the syringe steady… and sure enough;
"Sh*t!" Fang hissed to himself as he dropped it, breathing out heavily in exasperation.
"I've got it," Bogo suddenly inputted as he picked up the syringe for him. It barely fit the Buffalo's large hand-hoofs, but at least Bogo was able to hold the syringe firm, "Keep his arm steady,"
Fang now placed both his paws on Nick's limp left arm, holding firmly onto the Fox's appendage for Bogo to inject the serum.
He still thought this wasn't a good idea… but, there was no other option and they had already exhausted everything they had to offer, and there was still no sign of any help coming. Putting his worries aside, Bogo persisted, feeling carefully and soon finding a small but long lump that traced up Nick's arm, indicating a vein to inject into. He prod the needle against the Fox's skin, bypassing his fur, keeping the syringe at a low angle so the serum was injected intravenously into Nick's arm, and ever so gently… completely uncharacteristic for Bogo from what Judy and Fang had ever seen of him, he pressed the needle into Nick's arm, and began to slowly press the plunger down, injecting the Fox with the Nighthowler performance enhancer drug…
There was no visible reaction… but there never was likely to be one.
After allowing Bogo to retrieve the needle, with the tiniest spout of blood popping out the jab hole, Fang gently let Nick's arm back onto the ground.
This was the moment of truth…
The look of determination on Judy's face was enough to make any criminal turn themselves in rather than face her wrath, only it was marred still by the odd tear that escaped her eyes. She persevered indefinitely and defiantly, continuing to resuscitate her partner and her Fox: the mammal she loved. Thirty compressions. Two breaths.
Meanwhile, Bogo just leaned back, underneath the rain outside the makeshift shelter, having nothing left to do to help, and Fang shuffled back over to manage the defibrillator, still kept shielded from the wet to the side of the improvised shelter.
With the electrode pads still attached to Nick's chest, all he had to do was stare at the ECG on the AED's display… somehow feeling like it was an age ago since he was staring at it earlier.
He waited expectantly, hoping for something to happen… only for the rhythm strip of Nick's heartbeat to remain almost completely straight.
…
Some time passed, time that was running out. Too much time for anything good to come out of it. Fang just continued to stare at the AED's display hoping and waiting, only for nothing to change. After long enough had passed, he could deny the truth, as he closed his eyes and marginally shook his head, coming to realise that his plan had failed…
Except, when he opened his eyes not but a moment after, he saw it:
When the motionless rhythm line of Nick's heartbeat suddenly jumped to a peak, then down to a trough, and back to a peak.
Fang's eyes widened in hope, waiting if another came…
It did… as another peak and trough appeared, the beats suddenly becoming more and more common on the rhythm strip.
Judy had noticed the Wolf's reaction, asking him;
"Is it-"
"It's working…" Fang answered positively, "keep going!"
With even further renewed confidence, Judy continued the compressions, with even more vigorousness than before…
Fang's sight remained fixed on the ECG display, apart from the times he glanced at the Fox, silently murmuring some words of encouragement as if to force him to stir;
"Come on, Nick… Come back…"
The rhythm line on the ECG was still irregular to what it should be, but that was a blessing compared to the flat motionless line that had been there before. It was too much to bear to fail now, for all of them, not after coming back from such a turnaround of the situation. There was still a chance to save Nick, and it had to work. It had to. All they needed to wait for now was for the defibrillator to analyse his heart rhythm, and hope it became something shockable in order to revive him completely.
There was still a chance…
And that chance soon came, when after some time, the electrical whirring sound emitted from the machine as the capacitor charged itself to be used, and the AED's display transformed to say;
Analysing Rhythm…
Shock Recommended.
"Move back! Move back!" Fang ordered the Rabbit, waving his paw once more.
Judy instantly moved to a safe distance, eyes wide in hopeful expectance as Fang moved his paw till it hovered over the shock button of the AED, while he, Judy and Bogo too, waited with bated breath…
As now came the second moment of truth.
The moment that would decide whether Nick would live or die.
Fang pressed the button-
The Fox's body tensed up once more as several hundred volts of electricity coursed through his chest, hitting that biological reset button and hopefully cause his heart to beat normally again. After the shock had done its work, the Fox became relaxed, his body settling peacefully on the ground once more…
That single second after the shock felt like an eternity to Judy, with it being the moment where she would find out if she would be accompanying Nick at his bedside in hospital, or by the side of his coffin at his funeral. That single second felt so long to her that she even had time to vividly imagine both scenarios in her head.
She prayed that it wasn't the latter.
But as only silence remained after the moment passed, Judy's ears drooped down the back of her head again as she closed her eyes and bowed her head, losing all hope again-
…
Until, she heard exactly what she had been begging to hear…
It was plainly noticeable in the silence around them.
Judy's ears twitched at the sound: the unmistakable noise of a hoarse and croaky, but solid inhale of air.
She opened her eyes, gazing at her Fox, seeing his face twitch.
His chest began to rise and fall.
His fur regaining its usual shine.
And then as if to cement the miracle, Nick's renewed breathing spurted out a couple of weak coughs, followed by an audible groan of discomfort, which was then further followed by more much stronger and steadier breaths, continuing indefinitely...
Judy's expression immediately changed to that of delighted surprise, her ears lifting high and her tears changing to that of joy as she saw the life come back to the Fox she loved.
Fang and Bogo looked on at the scene, glancing at each other in cheerful shock at the Fox's renewed breathing, left almost completely speechless at the miracle before them.
Fang craned his head down as he quickly checked the AED's display as it turned back to saying:
Analysing Rhythm...
No Shock Advised.
It then changed back to the ECG, showing what even a novice in any medical knowledge would recognise as a strong and healthy heartbeat…
Which was defined thusly by the two words that accompanied the rhythm line:
Good Rhythm.
It had worked… despite the odds that had been stacked against them, against Nick… they had successfully brought him back from the dead.
Judy was ecstatic, unable to hold back her jubilant tears-
"John, you're a genius!" she cheered as she suddenly bolted up to hug the Wolf.
Fang smiled as Judy slammed into and threw her arms around him, albeit a little winded by the Bunny's sudden embrace; obviously Judy didn't know her own strength. He gently reciprocated her friendly hug, lifting his good left paw loosely to her back, as the realisation sunk into him. He hadn't just saved Nick's life with his rash idea… he had saved Judy's life too. The Wolf couldn't hold back that little shred of a happy tear fall from his eye when he blinked, as his smile grew wider and warmer, feeling like he had finally done something right today.
He was shook from his thoughts when the other mammal present spoke out;
"Well done Fangmeyer," Bogo praised as he encouragingly patted the Wolf's shoulder, "Bloody well done…"
He turned to face Bogo, seeing the usual stoic Buffalo give him one of those extremely rare smiles of revered appraisal… the ones he saved up for when he was truly proud of one of his Officers.
Judy didn't stay hugging her Wolf companion for very long, but long enough to show her eternal gratitude. Fang jolted his paw up when she suddenly let him go as it partially startled him, now watching Judy return to Nick's side.
The Fox's breathing was still hoarse and rough, but definitely strong and steady. Despite being in the same position all this time, the difference was notable between a dying Nick and a sleeping Nick. Never mind just the obvious rise and fall of his chest, his mouth had now closed shut, almost looking like a grin had appeared across his muzzle, letting out quiet groans, hums, or whines in his unconsciousness. His fur bristled against the light breeze flowing through the makeshift shelter, whereas before it was almost static, and some of his muscles lightly twitched across his body, Judy's favourite of all being the little whip from the tip of his tail.
She leaned down to him, as if to greet him instantly if or when he suddenly awoke.
While she was overjoyed to have him back, Judy still had that small fearful thought in the back of her head that Nick wouldn't be the same after this. Near death experiences could seriously change a mammal's life, in more ways than one. But whatever happened, Judy would be there for him. She told herself that, as long as Nick still lived, she would remain beside him to help him, to care for him, and to love him-
"Hopps, give him some air for goodness sake," Bogo said with a mildly humorous tone, cutting into the Bunny's thoughts.
Fang let out a puffed chuckle as he exhaled, the same warm smile still wide across his muzzle.
"Right, sorry…" Judy drolly mumbled back…
But she didn't move away from Nick at all, unknowingly forcing Bogo to concede that she wouldn't be moved.
Suddenly, Nick groaned again, which was perfectly understandable considering all the aches and pains he must still be feeling.
Judy leaned right down, their muzzles almost touching as she stared waiting at his still-closed eyes;
"Nick…" she murmured out as she gazed at him.
The Fox's ears twitched as he could hear his name being called to him, even in his unconsciousness;
"Nick…" Judy murmured out again…
His eyes twitched beneath his closed eyelids, forcing Judy to smile eagerly.
Before long, Nick's eyelids slowly separated, stopping to show only a thin strip of the shimmering emerald iris of his eye that met the pearlescent amethysts of Judy's own, as tears of joy still welled within them.
That was as far as he opened them for now… and for now it was all he needed. Nick's eyes were locked with Judy's as he awoke, transfixed on their beauty, and the beauty of the mammal they belonged to. It didn't take any sort of indication other than her eyes for Nick to know it was her.
The Fox and Bunny gazed lovingly into the other's very soul, lost in the moment as they became lost in each other's eyes, while probably only a few seconds passed around them, and ignoring their company. It felt like an eternity, an infinite adoring time with no worry, no fighting, no more test of life, forming their own little world around themselves as the two lovers just stared affectionately…
All until the moment, when Judy became a little perturbed, a little annoyed, but also completely overjoyed when the first words out of Nick's mouth after this terrible ordeal, came out with his usual brand of sarcastic wit, when he immediately took advantage of the situation with the teary eyed bunny hovering above him, and with his croaky voice, he uttered cleverly;
"Bunnies… So emotional."
And then he grinned.
A small but sincere version of his usual toothy one-sided grin. The one that Judy had so come to love;
"Nick…" she voiced gently, not being able to contain her joyful tears as they flowed freely from her eyes…
Nor could she contain her need to embrace him when Nick also responded with a soft and tender voice;
"Judy…"
She collapsed onto him, burying her muzzle into the fur of his neck, leaning her right arm over his chest to his other shoulder as she nuzzled and hugged him, this time feeling the radiant warmth from him and the resilient thumping beat from his chest.
Nick responded tenderly, leaning his head over to nuzzle his emotional Bunny, gently rubbing the fur on the crown of her head with his uncut cheek, feeling the gentle tingle of static between them while he managed to weakly lift his left arm and gently caress the fur on Judy's arm draped over him in return.
Together, Nick and Judy just lay there, eyes closed as they smiled wide, absorbing the warmth and scent of the other, nuzzling affectionately, and taking in the loving embrace now that they were finally reunited on what had been debatably, both the worst, and possibly best day of their lives…
A/N: Ok, be honest… did you or did you not shed at least one tear during all that? Because I think I did, and I wrote the damn thing! Nevertheless, I hope you all "enjoyed" that drama over the last three chapters. It was certainly different to write after everything else in this story so I hope it came across well, and I hope you're all happy now; of course Nick was going to make it out alive! For the record, seen as the subject caused, errr… quite the stir in the reviews, I never had any intention of killing him off. Put him and every other character through hell, yea. But kill? No.
I wasn't entirely sure the idea of using the Nighthowler inhaler to bring him back was entirely realistic, but this fic is first and foremost an action thriller and is supposed to be only realistic to an extent, and I figured using the inhalant serum seemed believable enough, innovative, and probably unpredictable too… yes? No? Tell me what you think ;) After all, this is a Zootopia fanfic, and Zootopia is a Disney movie, and stranger things have happened in other Disney movies due to Disney magic :P
I do hope you've enjoyed everything so far, because… that's all of it really. Only one chapter left to go, which I should hopefully have out before the end of the month. Until then, thank you all for reading, and most importantly, for putting up with my unbearable cliffhangers… sorry. I swear I don't do all of them on purpose! I swear! It just so happens those are the best places to split up the story, sooo... yea. Sorry! And again... thanks :)