A/N: I don't own this. We all know who does.
Thanks to goldentemptress, BellaEdwardlover1991, and bugsmama07 for pre-reading this. :)
Thanks to MariahajilE for keeping me in line and fixing my brain spewings. :)
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Chapter Thirty-Five
I lay there on the bed, my hands gripping Edward's hair as he continued to kiss my chest, my shoulders, my breasts, my stomach, my neck... Little pecks, open-mouthed kisses, teasing bites, hickey-causing sucks, wet tongue teases – he was literally driving me insane. And I hoped he never stopped. After about 10 minutes of him kissing and my moaning and sighing and having to remind myself to breathe, his lips returned to mine.
"You taste like cotton candy," he said as he kissed my jaw and then let his tongue flick my earlobe.
"Oh," was all I could manage to say in return.
I was laying on a bed with Edward. I was half-naked with his hands all over my body. I was being kissed by the most beautiful lips ever created.
It was a pretty amazing moment in my life.
As he let his weight settle down on top of me again, he pulled his head back just a little so that he could meet my eyes.
"Do you trust me?" he whispered.
I swallowed down the nerves that were keeping me from forming words, then nodded my head. "Yes," I sighed.
"Really trust me? Be sure."
"Yes, I trust you."
He looked at me for several seconds before raising his hand to my face and letting his index finger trace my bottom lip.
"I won't hurt you," he whispered, then leaned back down to kiss me again. His lips covered my top lip, sucking on it lightly before his tongue slid out and pushed into my mouth. As he did that, his right hand slid down my chest, softly grazing my breasts as it passed between them and moved toward my stomach. He let his fingers circle around my belly button for just a moment as he continued to kiss me, and then I felt him grasp the button on my shorts.
My stomach muscles automatically contracted, pulling away from the fabric to give him a little more room. Once the button was undone, I felt him slowly slide the zipper down. It was like torture. His hand was so close to the part of me that was aching for him. I was embarrassed, hoping he would be okay with what he found under my clothes, if he decided he really wanted to take them off.
I'd never been one to compare myself to other women. I was confident in my body and comfortable with my shape. I'd had a few boyfriends before Alec, and the ones who'd seen parts of me naked never seemed to complain. But every man is different, and I knew that I was very different from Jane. I wasn't what Edward was probably used to. It made me more nervous than I already was, but I tried not to let it show. He was so far out of my league, and by some crazy twist of fate, he hadn't realized it, yet. I only hoped that by the time he did, he would have already fallen for me the same way I was falling for him.
His hand stilled on my stomach, his finger pushing just under the denim of my shorts but on top of the lace of my my panties. The way his fingers barely rubbed and moved over the lace was making me breathe funny.
"Breathe, Bella," he laughed.
"You have no idea what you're doing to me right now," I replied.
"Oh, I think I do," he said as he pushed his hips against me, and I felt exactly how hard he was.
"Ohhhh," I moaned as my eyes rolled back in my head.
He propped himself up on his elbow, then looked down at my waist. His hand pushed at my shorts, lowering them ever so slightly on my hips. He looked back at me, and I saw the lust and want in his eyes.
"Say you trust me. Please."
I nodded. "I trust you," I told him. Lifting my left hand up, I ran my fingers along his cheek, letting them tickle the skin of his jaw as they moved down toward his chin. He turned his head and kissed my palm, then sat up and stood from the bed. I lay there, sprawled out before him as he stood before me. Moving between my legs, his hands cautiously grabbed onto my shorts and pulled at them. I lifted my hips off the bed to help him, and soon, I was wearing nothing but my brown lace panties.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his eyes scanning over my body.
I whimpered as my teeth worked over my bottom lip. My arms lay on the bed with one of them bent and angled toward my head. My fingers touched a strand of my hair and started to twist it, drawing Edward's attention up my body. I could see how I was affecting him, and I made my actions more determined, more alluring. I continued to breathe hard, my chest heaving up and down, and I arched my back a bit, shifting my hips from side to side.
His eyes moved back to my face, and he watched my mouth for several seconds before finally lifting his eyes to meet mine. As he held my gaze, his hands returned to my hips, and I felt his fingers slip under the elastic waistband of my panties, pulling them slowly from my body and then dropping them on the floor. He didn't look at my newly exposed skin. He kept his eyes connected with mine. Leaning down over me, his face was soon even with mine again, as his hands pressed into the bed on either side of me, holding him up. He bit at my bottom lip, pulling it from my teeth with his own, and then he sucked it into his mouth. Letting his tongue slide out, I kept my eyes open as he started to kiss me and stare at me, never even blinking as our lips moved in a sloppy, desperate kiss.
Soon he was moving down my body, his lips kissing every inch of skin along the way. As he kissed my belly and then started to lower his body between my knees, it suddenly dawned on me where he was going and I froze. He must have felt the sudden shift in my demeanor, because he looked up at me and stopped.
"What?" he quietly asked, breathing heavily. "What's wrong?"
I let out a shaky breath. "I just... um... I don't know if..."
Instantly, he was lying on the bed next to me, his hand wrapped around my cheek as his eyes watched me.
"Bella, what? You have to tell me. Please."
"I don't um... That- What you were gonna do," I said, shaking my head. "I don't- don't like that... thing."
He watched me for a few moments before turning my face to more fully meet his. "You don't like it? Why?"
Letting out a sigh, I debated on what I should say. Did I tell him that oral was something Alec wasn't a big fan of, so we rarely did it? Did I admit that I'd never done it with the other men before Alec? What did I say? Seeing the concern and sincere question in his eyes, I decided to be honest.
"Alec didn't like it," I whispered. "We didn't do it much, so I don't think I like it. I don't know if I want you to do that to me."
"Bella," he softly said, "I won't do anything you don't want me to do. Not even that. But I will tell you that act is something I quite enjoy. I think if you'll give me a chance, you might like it, too." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, then kissed my lips. "And if you don't like it, I won't do it again for a while. Okay? Can we try it?"
"Edward..." I said with hesitation. The hunger in his voice and the desire in his eyes were beginning to sway me, and I was nervous.
"Trust me. Let me show what it can be like."
I breathed out several deep breaths, closing my eyes as I tried to keep myself from crying frustrated tears. I was frustrated with myself and with my inability to let go of my past. I didn't want to be with Edward and have it be the same as it had always been with Alec. Just like when I was with Alec, I didn't want it to be the same as it had been with the other couple of men. I needed to force myself to let go, to take a chance, to trust Edward and be open to new things. It scared me, and I sniffled.
"Bella, please don't cry," he said. "We'll stop, okay? I won't do anything else," he said. I could hear the sadness in his voice, and it jarred something in me.
"No, I wanna try it. I promise. I want to. Just..." I said, looking into his eyes. "Just touch me first, okay? Go slow, please."
"Anything, Bella. Anything for you," he said and then leaned down and kissed me. It was so intense and fiery that I almost didn't feel his hand moving down my body and passing over my hip bone. His fingers gently eased between my legs as I moved them apart just a bit. Feeling the pads of his fingers slide along my slick, lower lips made me nearly crumble, and I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down onto my body.
As we kissed, his fingers slid through the warm wetness where I ached for him. His hot breath on my face as his tongue stroked mine combined with the feel of his touch on my clit caused me to arch up into him and press my breasts against his chest. As he continued to flick and touch me, I soon felt a finger slide a little farther down, push a little harder on me, finally slipping between my lips and into my body. I moaned, pulling him tight against me and reveling in the feel of him pushing in and pulling out, pushing in and pulling out. After several minutes of this, he lifted his mouth from mine.
"Trust me," he whispered.
"Okay."
"Close your eyes."
I did as he said and I felt him move, sliding toward the edge of the bed and onto the floor. I could feel the cold air of the room cooling my skin where he'd been laying on top of me, and I shivered just a bit at the loss of his warmth. My eyes remained closed as I felt him pushing my knees apart, spreading my legs and pulling my body a little closer to the edge of the bed. I was giving him complete control – total trust – and I pressed my lips together as I took deep breaths through my nose. I could feel his shoulders move between my legs, so I knew he was there but he did nothing. There was no touching, no feeling, no exploring, and after sitting that way for about a minute or so, my body quivering with anticipation, I wondered if I should open my eyes and see what was wrong.
Then I felt it.
The lightest, most gentle swipe along my clit. I nearly shot off the bed. The sensations sparking in my body were so intense, so amazing, that I almost couldn't control my reaction to it. I shook, my muscles unable to stop, shivering from his one, tiny touch. Several seconds passed, and just when I was thinking maybe Edward had changed his mind, I felt it again. Only this time it was harder, more pressure, and it lasted longer. Edward repeated the movement a few times and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I opened my eyes and looked down to where he was and nearly came at what I saw.
Edward's tongue was licking at me, passing up and down my pussy, circling my clit, pressing into my opening there, driving me crazy. His eyes were on my face, and after he made a few more passes at me, he pulled his head back just a bit and smiled, then placed his hands on my inner thighs and moved forward again.
His eyes closed as his lips pressed to mine, sucking and pulling, while flicking his tongue on my skin. I couldn't breathe and my back arched, lifting my breasts and blocking my view of what Edward was doing to me. The sound of him licking me filled the room. When his fingers began to push into me as he sucked my clit, my hand moved of its own free will, grabbing onto the back of his head and pulling him harder against me. His laugh vibrated against me, and I let out a cry of sheer ecstasy.
"Ohhhh," I said, over and over and over again. He laughed several more times, each one sparking the heat in me even more, until the fire burning for him was more than I thought I'd ever be able to survive. I listened as his fingers moved in me, my body almost sucking him back in and creating the most delicious wet suction sound.
He continued to groan and growl against me, and as his fingers pumped furiously in and out of me and his lips wrapped around my clit, sucking me deep into his mouth where his tongue could flick and lap at me, my toes began to curl. A feeling of exhilaration started to grow in my stomach, burning fast and wide and nearly splitting me in two. My hand on Edward's hair tightened. My back arched higher than it ever had before. My free hand grabbed onto the comforter underneath me. My heart thundered in my chest. My body shook violently from thrill and feeling. I held back a scream, and I came. It was so fast, so fierce, so intense, so unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, and I couldn't help but dig my calves into the side of the mattress and let go.
"Ohhhh, fuuuuuu..." I yelled, not even caring if I woke our children. I felt like my body was shattering into a million pieces, and it felt amazing.
As soon as the shaking began to slow and I could feel my body again, my back lowered down to the mattress. My hands loosened their grips. My mouth hung open as I gasped for air, greedily trying to fill my lungs and restart my heart. I lay on the bed completely unaware and uncaring and unable to do anything but think about what Edward had just done to me. And wish that I could feel that good every day for the rest of my life.
"You okay?" he asked, sliding back onto the bed next to me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed his nose against my cheek, his forehead against my temple.
I couldn't speak. I didn't know why he was talking to me. He had to have known the affect he'd had on me. I grunted a little, groaned even less, finally sighing and trying to get my breathing under control.
"So I take it that was okay, huh? You liked it?" He smiled down at me and I looked at his face, my eyes still unable to totally focus on him.
"How did you..." I managed to say.
He leaned forward and kissed me on my lips, letting his lips move softly with mine for a minute or so. I could taste myself on him, and it made me tingle.
"Thank you for trusting me," he whispered, pulling my body against his for a moment, then sitting up and lifting me into his arms. He moved me on the bed, lying me back down so that my head was on the pillows and I was lying flat on the bed. Then he lay down next to me in the same position we'd been in before, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me tightly into his side.
We lay in silence for a long time with his fingers slowly moving over the skin covering my rib cage. After about 10 minutes, he finally spoke.
"I think we should tell the kids about us. I mean, if you still want to be with me."
I turned to look at him. It was the first voluntary movement I'd made since falling apart in his hands.
"Of course I wanna be with you," I said.
"I wasn't sure. You haven't said anything, so..."
"Edward, that was... It was incredible. I think I'm in shock. I didn't know it could be like that."
His smile was blinding. He was so proud of what he'd done to me, and I couldn't blame him. I was pretty proud of what he'd done, too. He deserved a metal or a trophy or something. Yeah, I'd get him a trophy; an "I do oral like nobody's business" trophy that he could put up in his office. I was certain he'd appreciate that.
"I'm glad you liked it. I think we got $100 worth, don't you?" he asked as he smiled at me.
"I think we're paid up in full," I said, pressing my body into his side. "And yeah, I think we should tell the kids."
He was quiet again, and I wasn't sure if he was thinking or falling asleep. I knew I couldn't be naked in bed with him when the kids woke up the next morning, so I'd have to get dressed and go to my room at some point, but he was so warm and comfortable that I couldn't pull myself away.
"Stay with me," he whispered. "I'll set my alarm for five in the morning so we can get up before the kids. Let me hold you tonight," he said into my ear, his hot breath setting my skin on fire.
"Yes. I'd like that," I said, then curled into his arms, closing my eyes and breathing him in as I fell asleep – my naked body aching for the feel of his clothes against my bare flesh. It felt amazing and perfect, and I slept better than I ever had before. Like nothing was missing in my life. Like I was finally complete.
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