Chapter 37

Location: Prentiss Household

Time: Saturday, 16.43

Emily had been lost in thought while Morgan watched the football; the one saving grace of being married to a football fan was that she was able to block it out. Morgan had managed to work his way through a six pack of beer, and he hadn't noticed that Emily was still on her first bottle, her eyes seemed glazed over as she looked out on to the back porch.

Henry played quietly on the carpet, only every so often looking at his Ma. Her children were used to seeing the vacant look on her face. All though Henry could not help crawling onto her lap, but even that action did not make her snap out of it. The only recognizing sign was the fact that Emily wrapped her arm around him pulling Henry closer to her body.

Morgan looked over he could not help but smile seeing his nephew wrapped up in his partners arms. He studied her for a moment. "Emily? Are you okay?" he asked with an air of caution in his voice. The voice caused Henry to look up pulling his head out of his Mama's neck he looked at his uncle Derek, he looked so much like JJ, but his features and the look he had in his eye reminded him so much of Emily, it was uncanny. Both children seemed to be the polar opposite of each other. Amy looking like Emily but yet everything about her screamed JJ well as side from her stubbornness and as he looked into Henry's eyes all he could see was Emily.

"Mama, thinking" Henry said his face slightly amused not fully understanding how his uncle Derek did not know. Henry was still young and like many children, he just thought everyone knew, that everyone could tell what his Mama was doing. Or why his Mommy would be the only person to pull his Mama from her thoughts. Morgan looked at him for a moment before his eyes drifted back to Emily. Her features had not changed he raised his eyebrow slightly before he turned his attention back to the youngest Prentiss. "You sure buddy?" Morgan asked.

Henry did not know the worried look he had on his face he smiled brightly before resting his head back into the nook of Emily's neck. "Mama" he could not help moving again his eyes level with Emily though she did not seem to notice. Henry nodded slightly as he settled back down in the safety of his Mama's arms.

Not one of them heard the door opening or closing as the trio entered, Henry had fallen asleep in Emily's arms and Morgan was sipping his beer as he watched the final play of the game. JJ rolled her eyes slightly at the three of them, shaking her head slightly. The more time JJ had spent with Garcia the more comfortable she had become, she frowned slightly as she looked at her wife. She knew her wife's demeanour as she looked to how Henry was curled into her so tightly.

"Hey" JJ said softly letting Morgan know they had returned, Garcia was in the kitchen making everyone a coffee as Amy made her Ma a cup of tea. Morgan turned his head slightly as he smiled at her "How did it go?" he asked, JJ smiled slightly "Really good, Morgan how long has Emily been like that?" JJ asked giving him a slightly pointed look. "About an hour," Morgan said softly as he moved. "Henry says she is thinking" Morgan said though his face had a slightly worried look.

JJ nodded as she entered the room, "Garcia is making us all a coffee, why don't you see if she needs a hand" Morgan smiled brightly at her, JJ's voice was more firm as she spoke and he was reminded of the JJ he knows and loved. "JJ is she?" JJ raised her eyebrow at him slightly. "Just go and help Garcia, can you make Henry a warm cup of milk and put him in his room for me please" JJ asked as she made her way over to them.

She kneeled slightly in front of Emily as she ran her fingers through Henry's golden locks, "Wake up buddy" JJ said softly as Henry stirred slightly, groggy blue eyes seemed to look at her before closing his eyes again though Emily's grip seemed to slacken slightly as he moved.

"Come on little man," JJ said again slightly firmer, "I need you to go with Uncle Derek," JJ said but this time her voice seemed softer as Henry opened his eyes letting out a slight yawn. He moved again this time he seemed to pull Emily out of her haze slightly, but JJ knew that even when Henry was off her lap she would not fully acknowledge her.

He rubbed his little hands on his eyes lifting the sleep from his vision as he looked at his mommy. "Mama thinking" he said placing his small finger against his lip, JJ could not help but smile at him. "I know buddy that's why I want you to go with Uncle Derek, and if you're lucky Amy may have a cookie for you," JJ said, as he seemed to move reluctantly out of Emily's arms. Morgan looked on amazed that Henry was not rushing out of Emily's arms at the mention of a cookie, he knew the little boy loved the treat, as he would normally sprint into the kitchen jumping out of anyone's arms in a hope he could get it quicker.

"Is she okay?" Morgan asked as he took henrys sleepy body in his arms. "Yes" JJ said not giving anymore away "We will be in soon, he can take his cookie and milk upstairs" JJ said softly. Henry was so intoned with Emily that it still amazed JJ, whenever Emily had become lost in her mind Henry had always curled up into her, and would always move so carefully out of her arms, always allowing Amy to lead him out of the room. However, this time JJ knew it was different, Emily had always shown some slight acknowledgement that she knew JJ was there, but this time there was nothing.

JJ was still kneeled in front of Emily as she ran her fingers lovingly against her wife's cheek, but she looked on in slight horror as Emily violently flinched away from her touch. She had only known Emily to flinch away a few times but every time she flinched away from her she couldn't help the slight hurt and worry that built up deep inside, it was a big sign Emily was completely lost in her mind and it was one thing that always made JJ worry.

"It's just me darling" JJ said softly as she looked into blank chocolate eyes, JJ always wondered if Emily noticed her when she was like this though her stare seemed to look through her as though nothing was in front of her. JJ knew Emily would flinch away again as she place her hand gently on her cheek refusing to break the contact. "Shh, darling it's just me" JJ said again slightly firmer.

JJ could only wait till the light flicker back into her wife's eyes, she wondered where she went and what made her go so deep into herself, but as the years had gone by and no matter how much JJ would push for answers that never came, she always knew Emily kept something from her and she often wondered when her wife became so lost in thought that she had retreated to that place. Although each time she came back to her, it was as though Emily added another wall inside herself. JJ could only wipe the stray tears, which fell from her eyes away. However, this time it felt different, she was so still the only movement Emily gave was the rise and fall of her chest.

They seemed to stay this way for a long time, JJ whispering words of love anything to bring her back to her, for some sign that the lights were coming back into her eyes, she wondered how Emily managed not to blink, she knew their friends would be getting worried about them but JJ didn't care as she ran her fingers softly against her cheek.

The more the action and contact she gave the more signs Emily seem to give that she was coming back, their eyes seemed to lock for a moment the light slowly coming back, "Emily" JJ said in a whisper as Emily blinked allowing a few more stray tears to fall. JJ could only give her a soft smile as Emily closed her eyes before opening them and looking straight back at her, giving her a slight smile.

"My beautiful girl" JJ whispered as Emily gave her a slight but sad smile, JJ could see another wall go up behind her wife's eyes it saddened her but she could only hope one day she would allow her in fully, people always kept part of themselves hidden, the one thing that they held back was normally something that held so much pain.

"I'm sorry," Emily said so softly, JJ could only shake her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for" JJ said sincerely, JJ leaned closer allowing their lips to meet pulling her in for a soft kiss one filled with understanding and love. "Amy's made you a nice cup of tea," JJ said as she pulled back. It was as though nothing had happened as though she was not bringing up the vacant stare Emily had, had for the past half an hour.

Emily had seemed to come round more as she continued to lean into her wife as though she was pulling strength off her. "How did the house hunting go?" Emily asked as though nothing had happened, another wall built up against her heart another compartment locked away with all the other things that she held deep inside. "I have arranged for us all to go and have a look at the last house we saw its perfect and I think you will love it as well" Emily nodded slightly as she yawned.

"When?" Emily asked she could not help but smile once dull blue eyes where now sparkling. "Tomorrow" JJ said with a cheeky grin. Emily smiled softly. They both made their way into the kitchen, "Are you three behaving?" Emily asked as she watched Amy and Garcia poking each other in the ribs, Garcia nodded just as Amy made her jump forward slightly. "I don't those two know how to behave" JJ said fully walking into the kitchen, grabbing her mug of coffee before passing Emily her cup of tea.

JJ made her way behind Emily wrapping her arms around Emily's waist, "Are you ready for bed?" JJ asked softly, Garcia and Morgan had left not long after the had all eaten, Amy had gone to bed, and Henry had not stirred since Morgan had put him to bed that afternoon.

Emily nodded before she turned to look at JJ, "I feel I could sleep for a month" Emily said in a slight moan, JJ ran her fingers gently over Emily's small bump as their eyes locked JJ could help but notice the slight dark circles which seemed to covered Emily's eyes. She had known Emily was not sleeping too well, if it was not her waking from a nightmare it was the soft whimpers that came from Emily that disturbed her.

"Is everything okay darling?" JJ asked carefully, Emily nodded "Just tired" Emily said with a slight chuckle. "I love you Jen," Emily said before placing a soft kiss on JJ's lips.